Rabid Ornithology Enthusiast @47-protons - Tumblr Blog

It is your sworn duty, when you're in your 30's, to do something every day that would have gotten you viciously bullied in high school.

bace-jeleren

Getting a lot of comments and tags on this that are like "they bullied me for just existing:/" SO EXIST!!!! GET OUT THERE AND LIVE AND KEEP LIVING!!!!!!! KEEP ON BEING YOU!!!!!!!!!

prsephonies-deactivated20200815

when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

friedegg

whats-your-name-man

thecringeandwincefactory-deacti

LISTEN.

prophetic-writer

“What if I write it and it’s bad-”

WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS GOOD? WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED? WHAT THEN????

ndnbutch

negative self talk IS unproductive and painful for you and often those around you. but like every other post that talks about this is like “yeah it makes you an exhausting and burdensome person to be around and if you don’t stop now everyone in your life will abandon you. Also I personally hate you for it”. and it’s like hey hi hello. basically the theme of all my negative self talk is that I’m an exhausting and burdensome person to be around and that everyone in my life will soon abandon and hate me. so like haha what’re we doing here? are you going to provide any actionable advice for how to get out of this habit, or just tell me that I’m Doing Bad And Wrong And Must Suffer For It?

Anyway. If you struggle with negative self-talk I feel for you. It’s hellish, and it’s not something that can just be bludgeoned out of someone by telling them it sucks. We know! I’m not out of the weeds just yet by a long shot, but here’s some of the stuff that’s been helpful for me:

Fake it til it’s real: cliche, I know! but it really has helped for me, even though it makes me suuuuper uncomfortable at times. but literally tell yourself that you’re super charismatic and sexy and everyone loves you. or whatever version of that feels good for how you’d like to be seen. it’s gonna feel silly and untrue for a really long time, but it helps!

Reframe: I struggled to phrase this one, but what I mean basically is like… taking that notion of “hey negative self-talk sucks for the people around you too” and turning it into “wow, it is kind of mean to my friends to just assume they’re lying when they say they love me. I don’t want to be mean to my friends. I’m going to take the risk of trusting them”. Try not to go too far in the direction of “oh god I’m being mean to my friends” and stay on the path of “I want to and CAN do right by them”

Separate from it: I like to kind of act like my negative self talk is something of a different entity from me. Your mileage may vary on this one. I was a really mean really sad teenage girl once, and for me that kind of feels like the place the negative self talk comes from. So instead of being like “I guess I just hate myself and always will”, I can be like “I have this wounded inner child who is lashing out. I’m going to be gentle with her, but I’m also going not going to listen to the things she tells me we are, because she is 16 and hasn’t experienced anything good yet.”

This is far from a comprehensive list but this post is getting long—feel free to add on if you have any tactics that have worked especially well for you!

57circlesofhell-deactivated2016

The people who love you Really Do love you. Your friends don’t secretly hate you. You matter to people. You are loved. Learn to believe it even if you think it isn’t true.

wholeheartedsuggestions

friendly reminder no one is worth destroying yourself over. doesn’t matter how happy they’ve made you, how long you’ve known them, how cute they are, how sweet they can be. if you’re constantly crying yourself to sleep over them and feeling invalidated and having to blame yourself or make up excuses for them, not worth it. not worth it now. not worth it in the long run.

scorpionlafemme

bardace

if there is one impact i want to have on my online friends, it is to get them to stop apologizing for things that don’t hurt anyone. to achieve this goal i present this image:

instant killer. It has served me well and i pray it serves you well too.

achillesinhighheels

thatqueerchoirkid

hey man its not a losing battle and it does get better and actually there is hope

dreadwedge

the enormous man who stands across the street from my apartment with the long bony fingers and bloodshot eyes and too wide smile seems like he's just phoning it in this month. his smile was almost normal width last saturday honestly. i taped a single lexapro to the lamppost and left it for him and it was gone in the morning. i hope it helps. you never know what someone else is going through #kind