this might be a controversial opinion but. i have seen the song “we’ll never have sex” by leith ross on one too many andreil playlists. in fact, i don’t think it should be on any andreil playlists. to be clear, this is not a judgement of the song itself. it’s a beautiful song, and i’ve been moved to tears while listening to it. however, that song features someone expressing their desire to engage in physical intimacy that is not building up to sex, and how appreciative they are that their partner is happy to do that. when people associate this song with andreil, i assume it’s in reference to andrew’s complicated relationship with sex and the patience with which neil is willing to navigate it. but the lyrics of the song are antithetical to canon in two major ways. first off, andrew is touch-averse, and doesn’t engage in much non-sexual physical intimacy (i know people have been making the case lately that he actually is tactile because he is sometimes tactile with neil….and no. to reference my goat @andrewminyard-josten again, andrew’s behavior toward neil cannot be used as metric for his general behavior, because neil is an exception to it. and even then, we do not see him asking neil to engage in non-sexual physical intimacy). second, it’s not that andrew doesn’t want to have sex, it’s that his trauma makes it difficult for him— which is a very important distinction. the beauty of him and neil’s relationship is that for the first time, he trusts someone enough to try to push his own boundaries, to work up to having sex in the way most people can. there’s a critical moment at the end of tkm when, upon learning the true extent of andrew's sexual trauma, neil asks how he can stand to do anything physical with him, and andrew, displeased to be having this conversation, explains that it's because he trusts neil to respect a "no." all this to say, i think in a scenario like the one this song evokes, aka neil reassuring andrew that their relationship would not be endangered if he never wanted to have sex, andrew would be genuinely offended. because like. yes. but that's not the case here. the best thing neil can (and does) do for andrew is to trust him to know his own desires, to treat him as the autonomous sexual being that he is.
gummygunk
vaporwave
baratheonpilled
2087
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
