dead baby robins @ahsokashawarma1138 - Tumblr Blog

lilaccatholic

It’s Fourth of July Eve so make sure to leave some milk and cookies out for Captain America

mantisdepot

they are best friends

ube-kun

Sort of a continuation of that stupid joke about terminally offline Clark

chongoblog

Fun fact, you can put the entirety of the Communist Manifesto in an ask

chongoblog

sludgebones

[two tumblr soldiers bleeding out on the internet frontlines]

“heh… remember strawbebby…. And ranibow spramkle… always made me laugh”

“Don’t talk like that man. We’re gonna get out of here i prommy.” [mortar fire sails overhead and land nearby] “christ its like a childrens hospital out there”

[through shallow breaths] “I always loved…… the color of the sky…………”

End scene

asteroidtroglodyte

So you’re saying there’s a chance

supreme-leader-stoat

homunculus-argument

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

thekijs

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

weaselle

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

maspers

(Huntr/x's penthouse apartment, sometime hopefully in the near future)

Rumi, checking her emails: Bills, fanmail, bills, stupid ad deals, something that probably should have gone to Bobby, fanmail... oh huh. Someone is asking if they can make a parody of one or more of our songs.

Mira: People already do that, don't they? We encourage it.

Rumi: Yeah, but this guy's asking anyway.

Mira: Huh. That's considerate of them. Who is it?

Rumi: Some parody artist named Alfred Yankovic.

Mira: Oh, I think I've heard of him, isn't he kind of a big deal in the states-

Zoey, kicking open the door: YES YES YES TELL HIM YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES A MILLION TIMES YES LET HIM DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WITH OUR MUSIC

Mira: Definitely a big deal.

Zoey: ASK HIM IF HE'S DOING A POLKA MEDLEY PLEASE I NEED TO HEAR GOLDEN ON THE ACCORDION THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE OH MY GOSH DO YOU THINK HE'LL LET ME CAMEO IN THE MUSIC VIDEO-

Rumi: So... we tell him yes?

Mira: We tell him yes.

Zoey: EEEEEEEEEEE WEIRD AL KNOWS WHO I AM THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

thelibrarian1895

weird al would absolutely let zoey cameo in the music video and the honmoon would be strengthened for probably another generation

hugintheraven

Al: So the plan was just to have Zoey in the ballroom dance scene of Olden.

Interviewer: Well, we definitely saw her there.

Al: And of course, when one of the male dancers showed up and was six foot five, we had to pair them. I'll never say no to an easy visual gag.

Interviewer: So is that when you had the idea for the throw?

Al: Absolutely not. We just told the dancers to do some basic spins and end it with a dip during the climax, but apparently she got inspired. We did not tell Zoey to lead him during the dance, and I certainly didn't plan for her to throw him in the air and catch him in a dip. Fans say they can see the wires, I guarantee you we did not provide wires during that day of shooting.

Interviewer: But surely she didn't actually throw him?

Al: She also rapped the bit from Hardware Store during the lunch break, so anything is possible.

chaossmith2

My favorite joke in Toy Story 2 is how technically all Buzz had to do was lift his foot to immediately prove he was the real one to his friends, but still went out of his way to make “Fake Buzz” believe he was dying for at least 7 seconds first 💀💀

#just rewatched this last week and was losing it the whole time i forgot how much i love it

inkandteaxx

this came to me in a dream

ozvezdja

the babyfication of tpm obi-wan is deeply annoying to me but yk what, i can roll with him being the equivalent of a college student. he's truly not ready to be raising anyone. he and 9 yo anakin are taking the same advanced algebra class and given that qui-gon went and died he has to find a new mentor for his masters thesis. yoda volunteered (he cannot be refused) and now hes painstakingly changing every sentence into yoda grammar with the speed of a being that lives for centuries and isnt in any hurry to do anything. at this rate hes graduating once upon never. the woes of jedi academia are vast and underexplored

byjove

The funniest part of A New Hope is that Luke Skywalker is a 19 year old who has not locked in yet and plays with toys and sleeps in his childhood bedroom at his aunt and uncle’s house and Leia Organa is a 19 year old with a mission to save the galaxy from fascism. Luke has never left his hometown, Leia just watched her planet be blown up. He’s peeved his uncle is asking him to do his chores, she’s imprisoned for resisting the government. You relate to them both but they’re on complete opposite sides of the 19 year old life stage spectrum.