Ajosie

Sometimes harmony is six xylophones being thrown down a flight of stairs

[aspenwitch]

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[doubleca5t]

An actual World Heritage Post

[dykecosette]

how does this post not have a million notes but anyone online can quote it

[definitelynotlazav]

one week until ten years of Spiders Georg

[yd12k]

[psyduckz]

seeing reddit refugees repeatedly hit their post limits and comment their thoughts on every reblog is kind of refreshing. site migration be damned these guys know how to blog

[thisdarkhomeofghosts]

[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

Reddit users on Tumblr:

[thunderheadfred]

my cat is incredibly sweet and wants nothing more than to be within a 5 ft radius of a person at all times, gently chilling in your orbit. he is also VERY, VERY DUMB 

it’s a slow morning so husband and I are reading, not making much noise. meanwhile, Barold goes downstairs to use his box and when he comes out, he starts yowling like his lil heart done broke. husband goes to to the top of the stairs all worried like, “Barold, what’s wrong?”

kitty zips back up the stairs and just oozes onto husband’s feet, purring high-powered lawnmower style. the realization hit us both at the same time…

this. boy. this itty bitty kitty boy. 

he couldn’t see or hear us for ten continuous seconds, forgot. we. were. home. and immediately burst into tears !!!!

[my-i-dont-even-know-mess]

I was just focusing on the fact that you named your cat Barold for the entirety of that post

[ilraksroost]

I want this cat to be named Barold Bluejeans so bad

[thunderheadfred]

Good news!

That is exactly his name!

Here is Barold Bluejeans in a bathtub!

[ilraksroost]

The best news ever!!!!!😻😻😻

[dancing-coyote]

He’s an orange, that explains everything.

[digitaldiscipline]

You can hear the dial tone in that gaze.

[butchdotgov]

So sorry to keep twitter posting but this had me dead

[krawkpaladin]

Reblogging things I like feels a lot more goblinesque than upvoting ever did. The upvotes felt like "hmm yes, I approve *golf claps*" while reblogging feels like furtively staring at something before shoving it in your mouth and scurrying back underneath the nearest piece of furniture.

Which isn't to say that I don't like it. But I definitely find myself going "maybe I shouldn't reblog this because I've already reblogged a bunch of things today and I don't want to look like I don't have a life," I say as I close the app and reopen it like one of those little automatic box toys with the switches.

[doyouknowwhatimeme]

[warandpeas]

Ｔｈｅｒａｐｙ Ｂｉｌｌｓ 

 This is one of the extra comics our supporters on Patreon got to read. Follow this link to join the party: https://patreon.com/warandpeas

[badjokesbyjeff]

In ancient Rome, there were 4 kinds of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly. 

Poison IV would just make you itchy.

[cassandracalin]

[anxietyproblem]

[depsidase]

[askrobouteguilliman40k]

Yay!

[dwergas-deactivated20180817]

most disgusting part of Tumblr Culture is the kid who love to sag their pirt. not only to sag the jam lid, but to pirt it up. what a waste.

[zagreus]

what language is this

[alephnull47]

english

[alephnull47]

but in 3018

[dwergas-deactivated20180817]

listen, the year 2018. you are living in the year 2018. and in centuries and centuries, who tid what to rilt or jilt around, so you better appreciate it for what you have. lot of people would stic or joiler to have what you did.

[dwergas-deactivated20180817]

listen to me

[alephnull47]

dude what the fuck

[dwergas-deactivated20180817]

aaauuuuuuuu auu auu auuuuu…

[sistertaxon]

types of stard

mu

ba

[brunhiddensmusings]

this is oddly close to real ‘ard’ is a real suffix in the english language just like ‘ly’ or ‘ify’, it just isnt common enough for us to notice its usage. ‘ard’ means ‘too much’ or ‘too easily’ so ‘mustard’ is something that is ‘too pungent’, just as ‘wizard’ is someone who is too wise, ‘coward’ is someone too easily cowed, and ‘drunkard’ is someone too often drunk

this implies that ‘bastard’ is someone who is too ‘bast’ and this needs experimentation and research

[sistertaxon]

Are you fucking serious omg

[necromancy-savant]

This is pretty much correct. According to the OED bastard is from Old French and the bast- part means “pack saddle” which was used as a bed by mule drivers, giving the phrase fils de bast, a child conceived on the pack saddle instead of the marriage bed. In English it becomes bastard, the -ard being a pejorative. It is the same one as wizard and coward and drunkard.

[ritavonbees]

types of ard

must

bast

wiz

cow

[ghast505-deactivated20220904]

my brain feels Expanded

[ailithnight]

Richard

[spacedace]

^ Too much Dick

[sharlatan-ka]

Ben and Jerry’s is dangerous ice cream... capitalizes on the evolutionary human instinct to dig for chunks... before you know it half the pint gone

[7ft-tall-shadow-creature]

the children yearn for the mines

[smidge-j]

If you're new to tumblr from reddit, we don't do down vote here.

We have a much more …elegant system in place, which I’m sure one of my mutuals would be willing to demonstrate here.

[radicalreliablerandomness]

K

[lasagnanarchy-deactivated202402]

U

[god-of-all-things]

N

[fanaticalfunhouse]

G

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

P

[sleep-y-bones]

O

[keranos-god-of-storm-crows]

W

[milomeepit]

P

[chungledown-bimothy]

E

[allonsy-gabriel]

N

[moncuries]

I

[the-arcade-doctor]

S

[fuckyeahamphibia]

[crawly]

The everest chronicles

[crawly]

[officiallordvetinari]