new hockey rule i just made up both teams share the same penalty box and they have to put cameras and mics in there
Claire Keane
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@akumastrife
new hockey rule i just made up both teams share the same penalty box and they have to put cameras and mics in there
not all your fave blorbos can be masochists some of those fuckers gotta enjoy beating the shit out of someone during sex
one of the funniest and saddest parts of project hail mary is that stratt absolutely did kidnap a guy to send off to die in space without hesitation but also made sure to pack all his funky t-shirts and favorite sweater and his crochet earth ball and his favorite coffee settings so!
the absolute devastating intimacy of a forehead rest. when you are both just so tired from existing in a world that demands you to be a rigid, functional individual, and you finally collapse into each other and just lean your forehead against theirs, or against their shoulder. it’s the physical equivalent of dropping your shields. it’s saying i am entirely heavy right now, and i am trusting you to bear a piece of that weight. and the most beautiful part is that the other person doesn’t even flinch. they just adjust their stance, tuck you a little closer, and absorb the impact. we were designed to divide the burden of being alive.
losing my mind losing my mind
N64 graphical glitch
your dog is clipping through the environment and you're laughing
The amount of disbelief I’m willing to suspend is directly proportional to how entertaining the show is. If a show is barely able to hold my attention and has betrayed my trust before, fuck you, that’s not how cutting someone’s head off works.
If I’m glued to my seat every week and can’t stop watching, then yes, absolutely, the professional athlete in a blond wig is indistinguishable from the 17 year old lead actress.
Can we all agree that shoe optimization peaked in the early 21st century?
This comic was cowritten by the real Nurse Chapel AKA @psychoticpterodactyl16
remember when jensen ackles did a promo shoot holding a 'it's a guy thing' sign and someone seamlessly edited it to be 'it's a gay thing'. like you couldn't even tell it was edited it was almost like. that's what he was going for all along . anyway btw i love metaphors and allegories and the inescapable nature of fate,
omg. u don't say
A WASP FLEW INTO MY MOUTH! And I was so brave about it! I couldn't panic because I am allergic and would have died literally. So I just exhaled really strongly and blew it right back out again! To anyone nearby it probably looked like I simply exhale live wasps. Like that's a thing I can just do. There's that.
Afterward I glanced to my partner who was like, "what the fuck?" And then I nonchalantly reminded them of all of the places I keep epi pens.
I can still feel all of its flailing legs in my mouth. Cannot recommend. You'd think the wings of a live wasp, in your mouth, would be the worst part but you'd be wrong. It's the legs.
What if this is my villain origin story? What if I wake up with wasp powers like Michelle Pfeiffer in the Batman movie? 🐈⬛
I hated it also, your friend is valid.
It was probably also a terrible experience for the wasp
smartest cat ever!