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African Women Were Leaders Too | Vol. 2

African Women Were Leaders Too is a HerStoryTellHer series where we sit with the women’s history subtly removed from the front row and put them back where they belong, as documented, verified, undeniable historical fact. THE QUEEN WHO MADE ROME BLINK. KANDAKE AMANIRENAS OF KUSH During a week that feels incredibly heavy and draining, it is vital to anchor ourselves in our historical strength.…

African Women Were Leaders Too | Vol. 2

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She Thrived When I Finally Saw Her

There is an aloe vera plant on my windowsill that almost did not make it. Every harmattan, I would watch her shrivel, leaves curling inward, skin thinning, the green draining out of her like she was trying to disappear quietly so I would not feel guilty. And I would look at her, think “she’ll be fine”, and turn away. Back to whatever felt more urgent. Back to everything that was not her. She…

She Thrived When I Finally Saw Her

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EPISODE ONE: SHE NEVER LOST (Queen Amina of Zazzau | Nigeria | c.1533 – c.1610)

Earlier this week, I was watching a video of a man talking about something that immediately caught my attention. He was touching on a topic that has been actively buried for centuries  the reality of African women holding absolute, undeniable power.He didn’t break down the entire history, but just hearing him talk about it lit something in me, again. It prompted me to finally bring this…

EPISODE ONE: SHE NEVER LOST (Queen Amina of Zazzau | Nigeria | c.1533 – c.1610)

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‎‎‎Tomorrow is March 8th. The internet will predictably drown in purple graphics, corporate discount codes for makeup, Shoes, Hair products and performative choruses of “Happy International Women’s Day.” We will be handed flowers and told how resilient we are.‎‎‎But while the timelines celebrate, the global ledger of womanhood tells a violently different story.‎‎This year’s IWD theme is “Give to…

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Does your husband have a receipt for you? 🧾🤔 I’m a proud Yoruba girl. I love my culture, I love the vibes of our traditional weddings, and yes, when the time comes, my husband will pay my dowry. But recently, a conversation with a friend stopped me in my tracks. He asked: "Doesn't that just make you a commodity? An item with a price tag?" I wanted to say "No," but then I looked at how we’ve corrupted this tradition. ❌ Families using "The List" as a poverty-alleviation program. ❌ Grooms bragging about how much they "spent" to get a wife. ❌ Men using the bride price as a receipt of ownership to justify abuse. We’ve moved away from Honor and drifted into Transaction. I am a broadcast journalist, an advocate, and a daughter of the soil, but I am NOT a product for sale. It’s time we return to the "factory settings" of our culture. I just dropped a new piece on the blog titled "The Price Tag on a Bride." It’s spicy, it’s honest, and yes, I even dragged Lakunle from The Lion and the Jewel into it. 😂 Click the link in my bio to read the full story and tell me, is the Bride Price still a beautiful tradition, or is it time we let it go? 🎤👇🏾 #HerStoryTellHer #YorubaCulture #BridePrice #NigerianWeddings #GenderAdvocacy #NewPost #EruIyawo #WomenEmpowerment

The Price Tag on a Bride: Why My Husband Will Pay My Dowry (And Why We Still Need to Talk About It)

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If one more person tells me that 'feminism is un-African,' I might scream. Let’s actually look at the history books. From the Iyalode to the Omu, our ancestors were Generals and Market Leaders. The silence you are defending? That is the real foreign import.

African Women Were Never Designed to Be Silent

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The Conversation We're Not Having: Are You the CEO or Just the Merchandise?

‎ Attention is cheap. Influence is expensive. Let’s talk about the difference. ‎Guys, we honestly need to have a heart-to-heart conversation.‎Someone once said “Asake is always speaking with a friend” again? 😂 Well, yes, I am. My circle is full of thinkers, so we are always debating! And today, I’m speaking to you like a friend.‎‎Because this is a safe space, I am not going to sugarcoat it.‎I’ve…

The Conversation We're Not Having: Are You the CEO or Just the Merchandise?

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Who benefits from your silence? The answer might surprise you." ‎

The Lie We Tell Ourselves About "Peace" (And Why I’m Done Keeping It)

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Why I Stopped Going Home For Christmas

‎‎It was December 21st. The sky was that specific, blinding shade of blue that only exists in December, ‎‎Crisp, and unapologetic. ‎‎I had just arrived in Ibadan to celebrate Christmas with Grandma, and if you know Ibadan well, specifically the Oniyanrin area, you know the air is a confused mix of cigarettes/weed and that pungent, stubborn aroma from the gutters that never quite goes away. ‎‎But…

Why I Stopped Going Home For Christmas

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Women Against Women (The Violence We Don’t Want to Admit)

This piece is specifically for the ongoing 16days of activism against Gender Based Violence ‎We show up every year.‎We post. We speak. We amplify.‎Right?‎We fight “the system,” we call men out, we highlight the patterns, and we say we’re doing this for women.‎‎But then, it shouldn’t be news to you when I say Women are hurting women online too.‎And it’s becoming one of the quietest, sharpest…

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AGE, JUST A NUMBER? (PART THREE)

‎Rewriting Your Relationship With Time‎There’s a moment in everyone’s life when you stop running and it isn’t because you’ve “arrived,” or everything suddenly now makes sense,‎ you rather stop because you prolly finally realise something important,‎‎Which is the fact that Time is not chasing you.‎And you were never supposed to chase it either.‎‎In Part One, we talked about society’s…

AGE, JUST A NUMBER? (PART THREE)

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AGE, JUST A NUMBER? (PART TWO)

The Quiet War We Fight With Ourselves There’s something nobody tells you about aging‎‎It’s not the number that scares us.‎It’s the noise we’ve swallowed for years.‎‎In Part One, I talked about society’s scoreboard right?  ‎All the timelines we’re expected to hit.‎But wanna hear the truth?‎Society doesn’t even need to pressure us anymore.‎‎We’ve already absorbed the script.‎‎We’ve heard “at your…

AGE, JUST A NUMBER? (PART TWO)

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Age, Just a Number ( Part One)

‎“Well….It’s just a number.”‎That’s what I said, half jokingly, half sarcastically,  when my friend sighed over the phone on  how fast time was flying.‎‎He’s older than me, by quite a few years. We were talking one quiet evening, and he said, “You know, Bolu, the older I get, the more serious I become, I have to be  It’s like society keeps reminding me that I can’t afford to waste time.”‎‎I…

Age, Just a Number ( Part One)

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A Man's World?

‎‎‎Some weeks ago, I made a post on my WhatsApp status that said,‎“Sadly, it’s not a man’s world.”‎‎At first, I didn’t think much of it , because I had had a conversation just a week before around that and didn’t give it much thought so it was just a thought that had been sitting numbly in my heart.‎But within minutes, my DMs were buzzing.‎‎Some people were like ” won tunti de o”( They’ve come…

A Man's World?

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‎The Motherhood Myth

Few years ago, I was at a naming ceremony.‎The baby slept peacefully in his mother’s arms when someone said,‎“Ah Iya Tayo, you’ve done well!”‎‎Iya Tayo smiled,  a tired but proud smile. But for a second,  her eyes looked lost, like she was searching for someone who used to be there but wasn’t anymore.‎‎Mayhaps that someone was her.‎‎It made me wonder why we start calling women Mommy Tayo, Mommy…

‎The Motherhood Myth

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Now, I look at little girls walking to school with beautiful colors of beads in their hair, and I wonder if they’ll also grow up learning to hide before they bloom.

Dear me

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Pretty Enough?

‎They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but in reality, society has always tried to own the beholder’s eyes.‎‎For women, beauty is not only an attribute,  it’s a currency, a test, a brutal battlefield. ‎‎With an  unspoken question always hanging in the air,‎‎Am I pretty enough?‎‎History itself has been unkind in this regard. Ancient cultures often defined women’s worth by how well they…

Pretty Enough?