Don't Touch The Pumpkin

It doesn't like you...

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

IMPORTANT UPDATE: 7,532 species of frog in the world, ok?!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

great news! 7,556 species of frog in the world, ok?!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry, now there are 7,576 species of frog in the world, ok?!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

excellent news! 7,591 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth

[werewolf-transgenderism]

guess what! 7,624 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry, 7,645 species of frog on planet earth, ok? peace and love on planet autism

[werewolf-transgenderism]

great news! 7,653 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,670 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

new year new frogs! 7,678 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,683 species of frog in the world, ok? ❤️

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,698 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don’t cry. 7,701 species of frog in the world, ok?

[wandering-aloneo-o]

@markscherz how many of these do we get to thank you for again?

[markscherz]

95 at present, more on the way :)

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 95 species of frog discovered by tumblr's own frog scientist dr. mark scherz, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,758 species of frog in the world, yippee!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,806 species of frog in the world, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don’t cry. 7,817 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet autism 💖

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,836 species of frog in the world, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,864 species of frog in the world, yay!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,935 species of frog in the world, yippeeeeee

[werewolf-transgenderism]

HEY DON'T CRY. 8,008 SPECIES OF FROG IN THE WORLD PER AMPHIBIAWEB AND THE 8,000TH FROG WAS DESCRIBED BY TUMBLR'S OWN FROG SCIENTIST DR. Scherz, ET AL., PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH ‼️‼️‼️

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

I swear to fucking god. I would claw out OneDrive from my computer if I could. I would burn down their servers if I could. I would run down their stocks to the ground if I could. I hope every single one of their workers gets a better offer from a competitor in the next 24 hours. I hope every single one of their light bulbs explodes at the same time. I hope every single carton of milk in their fridge will always be expired.

Stop backing up my fucking files.

Stop asking me to back up my fucking files.

Stop taking my fucking files off my fucking computer.

I don't want a fucking reminder in three fucking days. Let me fucking say no.

Fuckers.

[prismatic-bell]

Friend, I have news you're gonna love. Here's a text tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 10.

Here's a text tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 11.

Here's a video tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 10.

Here's a video tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 11.

Go forth. Be free.

[ophilosoraptoro]

Reblog to save a life... and someone's sanity

[teaboot]

Do you have any advice for someone else who is in the very beginning stages of the "life is a precious gift rapidly escaping me, I have to change to become someone better and be happy before I've wasted all of it" transition? I'm tired of losing so much life and joy to grief and trauma and I also want to start creating and seeing and enjoying as much as I can for my tiny time as a carbon based lifeform but it's overwhelming to say the least

Actively seek out things that inspire wonder

Look for the good parts. There are good parts. There are interesting parts. There will always be good and interesting parts.

Treat yourself kindly. This one is difficult.

Do things out of ridiculous whimsy.

Practice cog itive behavioural exercises to self-examine and address beliefs and behaviors that are causing suffering.

Don't argue when people compliment you.

Don't rush yourself, and don't assume it'll be like this forever when you have a backslide. These things happen. Over time, they happen less.

Be honest with the people you love and trust.

Tell people how much they mean to you and what you like about them.

Help others and find satisfaction in being the stranger that did something good

Consider speaking to a medical professional, my antidepressants and anti-anxiety medical took some time to figure out but life is WAY better.

Have a silly little craft or hobby.

Let yourself be bored sometimes. Stand outside in the rain and let yourself get wet. Go on a walk. Put your phone in a different room and wander off. Meet up with a friend and go on a long walk together to nowhere in particular

Start doing things because you want to and it feels good, not just because you think it's something you should say yes to.

Say yes to things.

Take a random day of the week and go into a store or a business you've never been in before.

Compliment strangers when something about them is striking.

Read books and watch movies that make you feel the exact right amount of ecstatic and embarrassed, and make all the silly noises about it.

Collect scraps of fabric and little trinkets and all the little textures and colours you love and stash them in a shoebox or something like a tiny dragon's hoard.

Start a collection of something small and inexpensive. Like corks.

Make food with ingredients you've never used before

Make long lists of all your favorite things- flowers, bugs, songs, foods, places

Start a trash-book to fill with scraps of neat wrappers and bits of paper and colored fabric from old ruined clothes

Imagine yourself as a alien from a dead and barren world who has just arrived on this planet for the very first time and imagine how excited you would be by every little thing

Cannot recommend enough that you befriend a creature

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

The horse says, "I think I'm about to be homeless." The bartender, who now feels a little bad about the joke, says, "Oh, man, that sucks. What's going on?" The horse says, "It's the job market. It doesn't matter how good I am at SEO optimization. No one wants to hire a horse. The moment they look at my resumé and see the name 'Brushstroke', into the trash it goes." The bartender says, "Really? I had no idea." The horse says, "And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking why don't I just apply for horse jobs instead? Well, for the first few months I wouldn't. It was a matter of principle. I didn't become the first in my tailine to get a degree in computer science just to end up pulling a cart. But lately, I've given in. Because my saving's are running out, and my kids can tell that something's wrong. So now I'm doing interviews to let drunk tourists ride me, and the pay is peanuts, and you know what? I'm still not getting any offers! It's all going to younger horses!" The bartender says, "That must feel awful." The horse says, "You can't imagine! It's eating me up! People are trying to help, but they can't. They can only offer a couch for a few weeks or only a place for me, not for my family. It's like, every morning I have to come home to my husband and my two kids and tell them I'm not good enough to support them! I'm already having to juggle debt to handle his medical expenses, and then... then there's just the shame of it. I was sired for this! I was bred to do it! And I can't! I just can't pull it off!" The bartender says, "Wow. I don't know what to say." "I know," the horse says. "I just need to find a place that's stable."

[homunculus-argument]

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

[thekijs]

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

[weaselle]

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

[dragon-in-a-fez]

it really is fucking pathetic that a country with more guns than people can't hit one guy

[dragon-in-a-fez]

if this is how you found out there was an active shooter at the White House yesterday I'm sorry

[qwanderer]

Me: oh it's this post again. Wait. Why does it say "posted 37 minutes ago"

[teaboot]

People always wanna give their OC's cool-sounding nicknames, code-names, and alter-egos. And that's fine. But as a guy who went three years with the nickname "Greg", ,,,,

[teaboot]

I've decided that I am not going to explain any of these, but here is a list of nicknames I have had and nicknames I have known others by, not a word of shit, none of them middle names or family names:

Dumptruck

Rottie

Eugene

Buck

Karate

Fairy

Sparkles

Onions

Salmon

Monkey

Big Bastard

Cookies

Summer Squash

Tiny

Rainbow Dash

Funions

Tuna

Speed Racer

Batman

Skull Boy

Cheeseburger

Loonie

Cornflake

[victusinveritas]

He's prostrating himself before the Eucharist, in case you're wondering. Or possibly planking.

[vvatchword]

@apocrypals

[apocrypals]

Hi, pope expert here. This isn’t funny — popes only do this when they’re in extreme distress

[rainathrownaway]

We're all in extreme distress, he's not special.

[thulium]

[64mpg]

i’m healthy as a horse but the horse is like the most fucked up horse you’ve ever seen

[64mpg]

the horse that i am as healthy as:

[good0eye0sniper]

@craigslisthorses

[craigslisthorses]

God.... same

[trickstertime]

Huh? What's this?? Something is on this 5c coin???

ENHANCE

[nocturnal-stims]

Flexible feather armor

🪽 Miscreations_us on IG

[fenrir-kin]

@always-someone-else you think this could be made out of leather?

[always-someone-else]

Oh I do believe it could.. Hmmm.

[catchymemes]

[link-the-feral-anon]

When you remember the anti-vax movement

[burger-prince]

[tatsutahimet]

I first reblogged this in January, and here my ass is in March 2020 self-quarantined at home.

[reaperrmancer]

Ur right and u should say it

[ap-kinda-lit]

Reading this in 2021

[ssv-raven]

Reading in 2026

[dovewithscales]

Y'all, we as a community have got to get better at dodgeball if we’re gonna keep tempting fate like that.

[tiktoksijustthinkareneat]

I'm begging you to turn the sound on

[drtanner]

Spring.

[sage-nebula]

Spring.

[self-righteous-god]

Spring.

[troubleshootingspacekangaroo]

Spring.

[royalninja]

Spring.

[roboticutie]

✨️GOLDEN.......✨️

Mouse 🐁

[marlinspirkhall]

Everytime this crosses my dash my eyes light up because I know my favourite part is coming. Spring. Spring. Spring. Spring. Spring.

[oncce-againn]

My alone time is for everyone’s safety

[always-someone-else]

My partner will often say "I love you and you love me and I like that so I'm going to leave you alone now so you can continue to love me".

[herssian]

people who don't use or spend time on tumblr don't really understand how solid this place is for creatives and how we could be living in artist utopia if they fully undid the nsfw ban. the tag system? the dashboard? the silly anons who will send you the most insane sentences known to mankind? having your very old, shitty art make the rounds again because somebody finds value from it and wants to show their friends? no other place even comes close

[teaboot]

I wasn’t gonna talk about it but one of my parents died the other day and the weirdest part has been not talking about it, specifically because they sucked and I kind of don’t care and that’s not a very hashtag relateable thing to bring up around the office so I’m just walking around at work rn like “nah not much going on hbu”

[teaboot]

As a “dark humour is my coping mechanism” person I would describe this feeling as “children’s birthday clown with a flashbang grenade” and I gotta say, the deeply fucked up power is intoxicating

[teaboot]

Man with the power to end any conversation