You just have to respect Camilla Hect's ability to have the narration's "camera" pan to her and for her to be doing some out of pocket shit. In the first book she casually walks through a door while handcuffed to Harrowhark "kill everyone now!" Nonagesimus. In the second book she is just there on a random ass empty planet, decked out with the whole rambo surival outfit. The entire third book is just an endless loop of found family drama and flashbacks until Camilla is like "aight, let me pull a Joanne d'Arc real quick".
In the next book Harrow will be fighting her way through hell and she will turn around to find Camilla just standing there with a snowcone because why not at this point.
pyrrha-wake-g1deon has to be the most enchanting love triangle in literary history. what if St. Joseph and the angel Gabriel were best friends willingly(?) and half-unknowingly trapped in one body for 10,000 years and they were tearing through the universe at the command of a false god leading a bastardized roman empire. what if they were sent on a mission to assassinate rebel commander Mary and the three of them got bound up in the most insane murder torture twosome threesome politically problematic sexcapades known to man. and then Mary stole god's sperm to artificially inseminate herself so that she could suicide mission sacrifice the baby at the altar of genocide. so of course they killed her (for the first time, more to come) and accidentally dumped little baby Jesus figure on Pluto because St. Joseph (??) thought she might be theirs. and St. Joseph is a woman. tlt dares to ask. and it's set dressing.
okay since I recently found out that me and literally 5 other kids in my choir had a phase where we made serious plans to run away and become a 9th penitent - is this an 8th House thing or are teens just like that
Have you ever thought of running a way to a life of silent devotion on the Ninth?
8th, considered going full heretic
8th, no wtf
not 8th, considered going full heretic
not 8th, I have no idea what you're talking about
I'm bones / marrow extract / nuance in the tags
Voting ended onMar 4, 2025
🔆 ohjoy Follow
BONE CULTISTS? ON MY HELLSITE?
✒ blackquill Follow
It's more likely than you think.
♠ homefront-titties-of-the-4th Follow
i was dropping off the kids at the cohort seminar and the 2nd house recruiter saw my wheelchair and asked if I was a veteran ... like aye cap they gave me ms in the war
♠ homefront-titties-of-the-4th Follow
she asked me what front i served at and I said "the big one". she gasped
♠ homefront-titties-of-the-4th Follow
WHEN I CAME BACK TO FETCH THE SQUIRTS SHE HAD A VETERAN'S DISCOUNT STAMP READY FOR ME there were tears in her eyes i swear
🥴 badjokesbyjohn Follow
Why do milking stools only have 3 legs
Because the cow has the udder.
⚪ the-redeemerrrrrr-deactivated
username checks out man you fell off. tf does that even mean
👅 one-flesh-one-smash Follow
fuck off back to deaddit. john has been trying to get an ARG off the ground for so long, let him cook. That ancient colour of the sky post was a banger
☕ fidelitea Follow
TIL that weird baby blue sky post came from the bad jokes guy
🌸 rigormortis Follow
feeling so aenemic today...
👄 what-that-mouth-of-the-emperor-do Follow
it's the year of our lord 10000, can we leave consumptioncore in the fucking dust where it belongs?! It's not cute, you're not giving Duchess of Rhodes, you're giving none of my friends want to spend time outside with me
🍖 drchuckshingle Follow
some sad news for y'all today. once again two of my shinglers, "pounded in the butt by the realisation that none of us will live to see a time of peace" and its sequel, "pounded in the butt by the realisation that the previous realisation must have occurred to dozens of my ancenstors and still we fight on", have been placed on the eighth house index of heresies. OH WELL! i will continue to write as long as there is one person waiting to read, and that person is ME!
📜 solace-in-thighs Follow
aw shucks that sucks! at least your works are in good company among other works of art on the index (or so i hear)
🩸 saints-alive Follow
dude we can all look up the index. "saint of seduction" "cavaliers off the leash" "pounded in the butt by a chainsmoking saint that remains otherwise unspecified and could belong to any fictional religion"
is that the good company you're speaking off? or are you just sad you can't jerk it to pervert porn anymore
📜 solace-in-thighs Follow
Nice try. Among erotic works, several priceless artifacts with immense cultural and scientific value have been indexed by the Eighth. E.g. the collected letters of General Duodecim to his spouses in the year of 3097, being one of the only firsthand accounts of the establishment of the first shepherd worlds. That's so long ago they still called them colonies! It's from before the divine edict of 4001!
🩸 saints-alive Follow
general duodecim was a weirdo who wrote self insert fanfic about himself getting his guts rearranged by the saint of duty TO HIS SPOUSES
📜 solace-in-thighs Follow
Psychometrists from the Sixth have affirmed the authenticity of the texts again and again. The Saint of Duty fucks nasty and raw, die mad about it <3
🍈 magnus-quinn-big-naturals Follow
I'm sad I can't jerk it to pervert porn anymore :(
💌 do-not-go-gently Follow
the good news: they're letting me go out tonight!
the bad news: it's for my great-uncle's funeral.
the secret good news: I met him twice and those were two times too many. Odious man!
💌 do-not-go-gently Follow
worse news: they've sat me next to Captain Deuteros I hate it here
💌 do-not-go-gently Follow
looooord undying she's talking about the weather. Nice yellow we're having tonight! Lemon, with a hint of cadmium - or is it cadmium with a hint of lemon?
💌 do-not-go-gently Follow
her shuttle journey was uneventful, if you were wondering. heaven forbid she experience two consecutive seconds of excitement.
💌 do-not-go-gently Follow
she saw me using necrumblr under the table and tutted at me. L-O-L!
💌 do-not-go-gently Follow
Maybe I should faint. I haven't fainted in ages!
💌 do-not-go-gently Follow
IMPORTANT UPDATE. The Crown Princess of Ida struck up a conversation with her from across the table and the captain dropped a dumpling into her lap.
💌 do-not-go-gently Follow
it's been five minutes. the Princess is still talking to her and the window in which she could have picked the dumpling up with minimal embarrassment has passed ages ago.
💌 do-not-go-gently Follow
dumplingwatch: it's still there. waiting. cooling. soaking through her trousers.
💌 do-not-go-gently Follow
RIP DUMPLING! The Princess is giving a speech and the captain kicked it under the table. She thinks nobody noticed
💌 do-not-go-gently Follow
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER AGAIN I NEED THE CANCER TO GET ITS SHIT TOGETHER RIGHT NOW
TLT is only dark academia if you're talking about Ortus, who in HTN is trying to work on his book while stuck in a haunted castle, and flirtatiously hanging out with a very intense posh academic and her husband, with whom he ultimately summons the ghost of the man he's been writing poetry about.
fully aware that i might comprise the entire audience for this meme but i feel So strongly about the disgusting chemical slop they try to pass off as clotted cream here
^^the clotted cream recipe as promised! I can usually find heavy cream that isn’t double pasteurized or ultra pasteurized or whatever at Whole Foods or the local organic grocery
I'm thinking about the fact that The Locked Tomb takes place in a future where a bunch of tech billioinaires fled into space to escape global warming and assumedly to set up their own new space civilization, while leaving rest of humanity to rot on a dying planet.
And the Murderbot series takes place in a space-travelling future where bunch of mega-corporations basically rule everything.
If there ever was a world a bunch of tech-billioinaires would set up after ditching planet Earth, it would absolutely look like the Murderbot world. Total corporate oligarchy.
In my heart they both take place in the same world, just in the opposite sides of the universe, and John Gaius the Necrolord prime and emperor divine is still personally pissed at the great-great-great-and-so-on grandfather of the current GrayCris CEO.
things tamsyn muir can give us in 2025 and it'll be FINE i'll be HAPPY i will CONTENT MYSELF.
short story about the contingent of illegal guerilla archeologists who discovered cradle creatures
book of harrow's original sermons
valentin the ninth
a flipbook of passive aggressive notes the original lyctors sent to one another
a sample of camilla hect's erotic poetry homework
the full text of the necromancer's marriage season, and/or palamedes's fix-it fanfiction of the same
100+ pages of nothing but pyrrha and wake fucking nasty
the secret diary of admiral sarpaedon
a 5-paragraph persuasive essay written by jeannemary chatur, on any topic
ianthe tridentarius's preteen journal
the full text of the noniad
protesilaus the seventh's minimalist poetry about cloud formations
more samples of the correspondence between palamedes and dulcinea
a short story where nothing happens except a like 13 year old abigail pent goes to the tridentarii's christening, takes one look at baby ianthe, and is like "hmmm. bad vibes."
pyrrha dve's notebook of comebacks she thinks of for the other lyctors but can't say them because she's pretending to be g1deon
a cover reveal for alecto? maybe? if you can? when you can?
every locked tomb character is one of the characters of all time but ortus nigenad really is The Character Of All Time my guy brought a fanfiction to the gun fight AND WON
the worst part about summer isn't even summer itself, it's how people will constantly say to me "summer is the best, summer is so magical, summer is a wonderland of funtimes" while it's 102 degrees out and the entire state is on fire
Nona is very funny because what if the meanest little bitch you ever met became a superhero, died (?), and then came back but now she's the sweetest little bug in the doomed planet you're being forced to raise her on.
Also "you" are a 10,000 year old ex-cop and a mid-20s soft butch being possessed by her dead twink boyfriend living in an apartment under guard by marxist futurists.
I suppose the real villain of the locked tomb universe is whatever dumbass government employee took one look at john 'both of his best friends independently thought he was on hard drugs and he's streaming himself performing necromancy live on twitch right now poggers' gaius and was like "sure I'll hand that guy a nuke"
