Grace For Sale

Josie - 29 - Trans f - Queer - Bipolar T1

[asparklethatisblue]

if an octopus wore a shirt, where would the arms go. and how many

[punishedsaints]

[fallout-lou-begas]

you don't have to advertise that to me, i'm already well aware

[fallout-lou-begas]

is this before or after the hand stuff

[fallout-lou-begas]

was talking about bus ads with my coworkers yesterday and i'd only just mentioned the "reseller ads" before one of them said "yeah, the one for fucking your brother" and everyone nodded. yes yes we've all seen it

[shortcircuit908]

the way microwaves parse time is fascinating to me. they're so laid back. classic values like 2:00 and 1:30? cool and good. but then you can have fun with it. 1:60? 0:90? sure they work out the same. 5:99? 19:99? ok now you're being silly. that's prices. but the microwave doesn't judge.

[weaselle]

and yet we pretty much only use the "add 30 seconds" button

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[afloweroutofstone]

I saw that picture of Joe Biden finding two coins on the ground again today. His face in it is so haunting man I have no idea what emotion he’s experiencing

Just pure rapture

[mr-ribbit]

what now, son? what are you going to do now? im here to tell you that ive taken your tokens. i have both of your tokens, boy, and you know where im going to take them? two words: skee ball. you don’t even know how powerful i am, you don’t even know the powers i possess with this two piece of silver. ancient magic, son. ancient magic- don’t mess with ancient magic, or you’ll get the horns. just an old phrase from back in scranton. jill get in the car

[judgejudyofficial]

stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[judgejudyofficial]

everybody say thank you Marcus Aurelius

[bettedavisgf]

they need to invent a food that i do not have to do any work to prepare and also is cheap and also is nutritious and also tastes good and also that doesn’t hurt my tummy

[nat-20s]

extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine

[nat-20s]

at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport

[nat-20s]

Ernie, trying to maybe come out to Kermit: well you know Kermit, me and Bert-

Bert: Bert and I

Ernie: Bert and I, we've been best friends forever, but we're also something else too!

Kermit, who every goddamn night has to tell Beaker and Bunsen to keep it professional, deal with Statler and Waldorf's bullshit, AND update his organizational chart on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Polycule: that's really great to hear fellas, happy for you two! :)

[stellacartography]

Grover, alarmed at having spilled some finger paint on Kermit's flipper: I am so sorry, Kermit. Please forgive me.

Kermit, who deals with a multitude of bodily fluids on his person and all over the theatre every evening, who is unintentionally trampled by large monsters as they exit the stage, and quite intentionally has his little froggy bones launched into a wall most nights by Miss Piggy: It's ok, Grover. I'm a frog. I love baths.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

On Sesame Street: Oh, no, Telly is watching too much television!

The Muppet Show Theater, that night: Gonzo attempts to explain his latest fetish at length.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[kedreeva]

I think that part of what irks me about AI being used even for "small" stuff like meme graphics (aside from all the larger problems obviously) is like.... the time spent on it was part of the humor. "this is a silly inconsequential joke but I had to stop everything and spend 5 minutes making it" was, at least for me, part of the joke. Someone really took time out of their day to make me look at something silly they took time out of their day to make. Now it's like someone took time out of my day to make me look at something no one even made. Stop wasting my time if you aren't wasting yours too.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[kalesrebellion]

So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental practices and she worked as the business manager for one of them.

Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like “you work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.”and then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.

So that is the story of how my friend not only got sex, but dental out of the friends with benefits deal.

[helloitsbees]

[doomedmutual]

[lislemons]

new favorite AO3 comment dropped. short, simple, to the point. made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt.

[tpwrtrmnky]

Objectively the funniest (and only memorable) time I've been blocked on any website was when Jordan Peterson posted "nobody knew about transgenderism five years ago" on twitter and I quoted it with "you've been saying this for ten years"

[soundlessdragon]

My kids are still quite young (under school age), and I've been careful to try to make sure they only have kind role models. This has resulted in typical mean language being absent from their vocabulary, such as "you're stupid/ugly/I hate you", but they've started inventing their own ways to be mean lol, such as "you're not my brother anymore, you're a stranger to me now", and hearing that out of a toddler's mouth is so cutting lol

[lycanthology]

wish ppl understood the power nowadays in not giving something attention. things today are so focused on attention and reaction and #memes that the best way to shut literally anything down is simply not give it exactly what it wants. like you arent going to own that bigot on twitter youre going to boost their original message whether thats your intent or not and you arent just playing with ai for shits and giggles you are giving it free learning and data. just stop engaging with things that dont deserve it