Angst day- Spitting Blood Out and Giving a Grin Before Being Hit Again, Haruka
âNow, now, Uranus, I donât believe youâre nearly so stupid as you pretend.â Her voice was soft and smooth, the way caramel runs over the top of ice cream, when its hot. Michiruâs voice does that sometimes. Sometimes it makes me feel a certain kind of way.Â
But not here. Here it reminds that MIchiru can to that with her voice while she sliding a dagger into someoneâs back. .Â
Not that this bitch is sliding into my back.Â
âBelieve it, Lady.â I laugh at her.. âAsk anyone, I am a fucking moron.âÂ
It was true, what i told her, but it gets answered by some lackey cracking his metal knuckles into my side. I can feel them bend and give and crack like the sound of ice when you step on it. Pain is bright, you know. Like when someone puts a floodlight in your face. That was two sides, now. Every breath is just another decision to torture myself, to feel my body crunch while the pebbles that were my ribs in there roll around
âSailor Uranus, are you aware that you can die?â She asks me like she finally believes that Iâm fucking stupid.Â
âSure am!â I yell it at her through the bright, and she must have found it rude because I hear myself scream almost before a feel it, the sharp blow of a metal bar into my knee.Â
I did like running, at least. Probably not again, I guess. I wonât give up the rest of them. Itâs true what I said, that Iâm stupid, that I donâtt know that much anyway, because MIna didnât tell me, and so there Thereâs really nothing that I can give up. But they donât know that. They donât know that Iâ m stupid, and if theyâre here hurting me, they canât be looking for everyone else.Â
Iâm gonna die here. Iâm hurt bad. Iâm broken on the inside, and I donât know how long I can keep going. Iâm already starting to get confused, but I have to keep trying. The girls are depending on me. Iâm tough. I need to hold out as long as I can. Then they can get into position. They can get away.Â
Guess I donât have to worry about running, at least.Â
God, I hope this guy hits me hard enough to kill me soon. Heâs like me. Heâs an idiot and a battering ram and god I hope he fucks up. Iâm so tired.Â
I love you, Michiru. Iâm protecting you here.Â
She must have just said something to me that I didnât hear. I donât always hear right, and Iâm having trouble now. He hits me again, in the other knee. Crunch. Snap. Another bright light in my face. Another minute bought for them. Iâm doing really good. Iâve got to stay awake. Iâve got to keep her interested.Â
I lean back my head, as best I can. âFuck you, bitch.â
Iâm not very clever. I know that. But a baseball bat isnât either, and it still works.Â
It works. She takes something out of a box, and it digs into my shoulder, and oh my god she finds the nerve and she pulls and pulls and Iâm screaming, Iâm screaming so loud I feel my vocal cords strain and start to rub against each other, sore. Theyâll be bleeding soon. I almost black out when she pulls back. It takes me awhile to realize Iâm crying.Â
But I still didnât say anything. Nothing at all.Â
I close my eyes. Michiruâs there, in my head. In her wedding dress. She was so pretty, that day. Minaâs there too, and sheâs teasing me. I can be there, just for a second, just to remember why I wonât give up. Itâll stop hurting soon enough. Gotta make it last as long as you can. Itâs a marathon, but I can do it.Â
Iâve been panting from the scream, and the broken glass in my chest is rubbing every muscle up and down as I do it, cutting a new line in me every time. Maybe Iâll die after they get here. Maybe Iâll get to see Michiru one more time. But you gotta hang on for that to happen. You gotta hang on, Haruka, even though it hurts.Â
Sheâs laughing at me. Sheâs having fun hurting me. She thinks Iâll give up, that Iâm weak, but Iâm not. Iâm strong as hell. Maybe that makes me a better toy. But Iâm doing my job. Iâm doing a good job.Â
She yanks my hair back, so I have to look her in the face. All there is, is mean there. Mean and hateful and that makes her so ugly I canât even tell you what the rest of her looks like. I donât think I could even if there wasnât a bunch of salt and pepper static waving through my eyes.Â
âYou are aware you can die, so you say.â She drags a knife across my palm. That must be where weâre going next. âBut are you awareââÂ
She stabs it through my hand, and I my throat rips open from screaming. It bleeding now too, along with the rest of me, and I can taste the thick iron of whatâs left of my life. I canât hold my head up anymore, and it falls against my chest.Â
Nothing doing. She tips my chin up with the blade.Â
ââthat I wonât let you?âÂ
All she can threaten me with is life now, and she knows it. Fuck you, lady. Life has been a threat since I was born.Â
I open my eyes as wide as theyâll go now, and give her a bright smile.Â
âIâm fucking counting on it.âÂ
His fist plows into my cheekbone.Â