Angst day- Spitting Blood Out and Giving a Grin Before Being Hit Again, Haruka
“Now, now, Uranus, I don’t believe you’re nearly so stupid as you pretend.” Her voice was soft and smooth, the way caramel runs over the top of ice cream, when its hot. Michiru’s voice does that sometimes. Sometimes it makes me feel a certain kind of way.
But not here. Here it reminds that MIchiru can to that with her voice while she sliding a dagger into someone’s back. .
Not that this bitch is sliding into my back.
“Believe it, Lady.” I laugh at her.. “Ask anyone, I am a fucking moron.”
It was true, what i told her, but it gets answered by some lackey cracking his metal knuckles into my side. I can feel them bend and give and crack like the sound of ice when you step on it. Pain is bright, you know. Like when someone puts a floodlight in your face. That was two sides, now. Every breath is just another decision to torture myself, to feel my body crunch while the pebbles that were my ribs in there roll around
“Sailor Uranus, are you aware that you can die?” She asks me like she finally believes that I’m fucking stupid.
“Sure am!” I yell it at her through the bright, and she must have found it rude because I hear myself scream almost before a feel it, the sharp blow of a metal bar into my knee.
I did like running, at least. Probably not again, I guess. I won’t give up the rest of them. It’s true what I said, that I’m stupid, that I don’tt know that much anyway, because MIna didn’t tell me, and so there There’s really nothing that I can give up. But they don’t know that. They don’t know that I’ m stupid, and if they’re here hurting me, they can’t be looking for everyone else.
I’m gonna die here. I’m hurt bad. I’m broken on the inside, and I don’t know how long I can keep going. I’m already starting to get confused, but I have to keep trying. The girls are depending on me. I’m tough. I need to hold out as long as I can. Then they can get into position. They can get away.
Guess I don’t have to worry about running, at least.
God, I hope this guy hits me hard enough to kill me soon. He’s like me. He’s an idiot and a battering ram and god I hope he fucks up. I’m so tired.
I love you, Michiru. I’m protecting you here.
She must have just said something to me that I didn’t hear. I don’t always hear right, and I’m having trouble now. He hits me again, in the other knee. Crunch. Snap. Another bright light in my face. Another minute bought for them. I’m doing really good. I’ve got to stay awake. I’ve got to keep her interested.
I lean back my head, as best I can. “Fuck you, bitch.”
I’m not very clever. I know that. But a baseball bat isn’t either, and it still works.
It works. She takes something out of a box, and it digs into my shoulder, and oh my god she finds the nerve and she pulls and pulls and I’m screaming, I’m screaming so loud I feel my vocal cords strain and start to rub against each other, sore. They’ll be bleeding soon. I almost black out when she pulls back. It takes me awhile to realize I’m crying.
But I still didn’t say anything. Nothing at all.
I close my eyes. Michiru’s there, in my head. In her wedding dress. She was so pretty, that day. Mina’s there too, and she’s teasing me. I can be there, just for a second, just to remember why I won’t give up. It’ll stop hurting soon enough. Gotta make it last as long as you can. It’s a marathon, but I can do it.
I’ve been panting from the scream, and the broken glass in my chest is rubbing every muscle up and down as I do it, cutting a new line in me every time. Maybe I’ll die after they get here. Maybe I’ll get to see Michiru one more time. But you gotta hang on for that to happen. You gotta hang on, Haruka, even though it hurts.
She’s laughing at me. She’s having fun hurting me. She thinks I’ll give up, that I’m weak, but I’m not. I’m strong as hell. Maybe that makes me a better toy. But I’m doing my job. I’m doing a good job.
She yanks my hair back, so I have to look her in the face. All there is, is mean there. Mean and hateful and that makes her so ugly I can’t even tell you what the rest of her looks like. I don’t think I could even if there wasn’t a bunch of salt and pepper static waving through my eyes.
“You are aware you can die, so you say.” She drags a knife across my palm. That must be where we’re going next. “But are you aware–”
She stabs it through my hand, and I my throat rips open from screaming. It bleeding now too, along with the rest of me, and I can taste the thick iron of what’s left of my life. I can’t hold my head up anymore, and it falls against my chest.
Nothing doing. She tips my chin up with the blade.
All she can threaten me with is life now, and she knows it. Fuck you, lady. Life has been a threat since I was born.
I open my eyes as wide as they’ll go now, and give her a bright smile.
“I’m fucking counting on it.”
His fist plows into my cheekbone.
