roma★
Andulka
hello vonnie
todays bird
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Discoholic 🪩
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Game of Thrones Daily
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
dirt enthusiast
trying on a metaphor
we're not kids anymore.
h
DEAR READER
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
RMH
Jules of Nature
d e v o n
Three Goblin Art
⁂
seen from Malaysia
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@arteriacarpals
Younger writers. Please, just know that you could not skip to different songs on a cassette tape, that’s CDs. With tapes you pressed fast forward or rewind and prayed.
Also, VHS tapes did not have menu screens. Your only options were play, fast forward, rewind, pause, stop, or eject.
Y’all are making me feel like the crypt keeper here, I’m begging you 😭
reblog to instantly disintegrate some of your peers to dust
Fun story. When I was actively being stalked (both online and IRL), I contacted the police exactly one time. I showed them the physical notes that had been left under the wiper blade on my car after I blocked the man on social media. I showed them the previous Facebook messages this man had sent me that described, in detail, what he wanted to do to me.
The police said they couldn’t help me because the man had not actually physically done any of those things to me. He’d just talked about his desires. They even made excuses for him. He’s awkward. He’s lonely. You’re pretty. It’s a compliment.
So friendly reminder that when a man with a record and weapons makes verbal/written threats against a woman, there’s nothing police can do.
But when a frustrated woman being denied medical coverage with no record and no weapons makes a “verbal threat” against a corporation, she’s arrested immediately.
I love birdwatchers they’re like “I just saw my ALL TIME FAVORITE BIRD SPECIES! I’ve always dreamed of seeing one in the wild! I am ECSTATIC!” and it’s the most boring looking little brown bird you’ve ever seen.
And I’m watching the video like “whoaaaa what’s it going to be! woodpecker? red-headed woodpecker? eastern whip-poor-will? northern mockingbird? it’s a Bachman's sparrow? oh, okay. neat.”
I feel like I need to show you a Bachman’s sparrow for this post to truly land.
Oooooh the most bird ever.
omg this is so me my favourite bird is the short-toed treecreeper and.
like. yea...
I’m sorry to admit this and I would never do it in real life because I have an immense respect for wildlife and specifically the delicate nature of birds. That is the most grabbable animal I have ever seen. It looks free for the taking.
some birds are just free for the grabbing and taking.
i found this one in a coal mine.
(I caught her so I could take her outside because she was trapped)
im cool with sharing that because i was far away from home on a work trip; i snatched this lil lady inside Quintette Coal Mine near Tumblr Ridge, British Columbia, Canada
also id like to be very clear that both the grabbing and the holding were extremely gentle; the bird was exhausted from being trapped inside the building for 2 days and did not attempt to escape being picked up, and i couldn't feel the contact through my glove. once i got her outside she flew away immediately and joined the rest of the same birds that constantly flew in flocks around the building
i’ve been a 23 year old girl and i can tell you it does not
this is the funniest thing I’ve read in my LIFE
it's real btw
Op here, we're going strong!! Here's a picture of our Goob shrine
idk why but i feel like being a punk is for he/hims and doing ballet is for she/hers
Bibliography
dykeparasite (2023) Barbie (2023) is to she/theys what The Lego Movie (2014) is to he/theys. I can’t explain it but it’s TRUE., Tumblr. Available at: https://dykeparasite.tumblr.com/post/714005432703877120 (Accessed: April 14, 2023).
finalgrrrl (2022) don’t ask me why but mlm belong in dark academia and wlw belong in cottagecore, Tumblr. Available at: https://www.tumblr.com/finalgrrrl/681884740465360896/this-post-is-killing-me-what-in-the-patriarchy?source=share (Accessed: April 14, 2023).
Joke (2023) Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke (Accessed: April 14, 2023).
Lavigne, A. (2010) Avril Lavigne - SK8ER BOI (official video), YouTube. YouTube. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIy3n2b7V9k (Accessed: April 14, 2023).
Reddit’s even kicking that dead ceos ass
POOR GRANDMA!!!
I’m crying bitch
what the fuck is this
there are people trying to talk to you on discord
Sherlock Holmes modern adaptation but the main characters (Sherlock, Watson, Mrs. Hudson, Irene Adler, and maybe even Lestrade) are all vampires and they’ve just been doing their thing since the time period of the original books
Irene gets to be from New Jersey like she is in canon and she’ll occasionally show up and help Sherlock with a case but they don’t ever date or hook up or anything
OR… Lestrade isn’t a vampire, but there’s been generations of Lestrades, and they all have to deal with this guy
the latest one isn’t even a cop she works nights at the 7-11 and Sherlock keeps coming in at 2am to slam two gallons of Monster Energy and ask her what what the fuck an “amogus” is (it’s case related) and tell her how much better she is at lateral thinking than her tragically straightforward ancestor and also is her girlfriend still going to school to be a defense attorney, how’s she handling the workload
okay, but who turned them and when? bc there is a lot of delicious angst and goofiness to be exlored if say:
irene has kids before being turned and is invested in her descendants
john was already with mary and has to see her age and pass
mrs. hudson is the vampire queen
the lestrades are like. the opposite of the vanhelsings. generational disinterest in vampires, but the holmes enclave keeps roping them back in.
1) Irene adopts and yes she is The Cool Grandma for generations of children forevermore
2) Mary is also a vampire, she got turned at the same time as John, she and Sherlock have Wine Wednesdays every third Saturday of the month
3) Mrs. Hudson is immortal but she’s not a vampire and nobody can figure out what her deal is
4) absolutely 100% correct
whenever anybody asks how they got turned the response is something along the lines of “that was like. Over five years ago. How do you expect me to even remember that.” or “idk man I just woke up like this” or “got bitten by a mosquito on a case” and it’s never the same twice
Yes the Sherlock Holmes books exist and whenever they’re brought up Watson gets very upset that this dude stole his writing and considers him his archnemesis despite the fact that Doyle is a totally normal human and dead as hell
imagine Watson’s frothing rage at the Doyle estate insisting Holmes can never be shown having emotions. like he didn’t personally watch Sherlock weep during the moon landing.
Holmes and Watson are embroiled in a legal battle against the Doyle estate and have been for almost 100 angry, angry years
this is only ever mentioned in passing for comedic effect
Okay, but consider The Problem (Aka Sherlock Holmes) doesn’t hit ALL The Lestrades, only those that Holmes can rightfully refer to as “Inspector Lestrade”. Obviously, police inspectors and detectives are affected by The Problem (as family lore refers to Holmes) but, like, subsequent generations have learned how loose the definition is. Our latest Lestrade, let’s call her Billie, gets called up by her boss one day, and her boss is like “hey, Corporate says somebody at the store needs to know about health regulations and stuff. If you take a couple night classes and get this certification, we’ll give you a bonus on your next paycheck, and one of your jobs will be to sign off that we don’t have mold everywhere”. And Billie is like “Sure, sound good, whatever” and goes to the night classes and takes the test at the end and the tired bureaucrat who runs the course is like “Okay, congratulations, you’re now a Certified Health And Hygiene Inspector (Class D-Small Retail Food Storage and Service)” And Billie just freezes and is like “Ummmm, is it possible to get something different? Maybe I can be a Health and Hygine Expert? And the bureaucrat is like “No, you passed the test, you’re now a Certified Health and Hygiene Inspector (Class D- Small Retail Food Storage and Service)” And Billie is just SWEATING as she leaves the building, because she knows about The Problem, but maybe this wouldn’t count? Like, it’s not like she works for the government or anything. It’s just a dumb piece of paper that says she’s allowed to fill out other dumb pieces of paper. That can’t count. It’s not like her JOB changed or anything. But, as soon as she steps out into the night and makes her way to the Bus stop, a slim figure steps out of the shadows and falls into step next to her. “Ah, Inspector Lestrade, congratulations on the promotion. I have a few questions for you about-” And Health And Hygiene Inspector (Class D- Small Retail Food Storage and Service) Billie Lestrade repeats the three words that have become motto and mantra for her family. “Go Away Holmes”.
the problem with having a decade old tumblr blog is that there are posts on it from a decade ago
i’ve become a completely different person like 5 separate times since making those posts and there are STILL people finding them somehow
people who don't follow chess I promise this post is really funny
Karpov had cemented his position as the world's best player and world champion by the time Garry Kasparov arrived on the scene. In their first match, the World Chess Championship 1984 in Moscow, the first player to win six games would win the match. Karpov built a 4–0 lead after nine games. The next 17 games were drawn, setting a record for world title matches, and it took Karpov until game 27 to gain his fifth win. In game 31, Karpov had a winning position but failed to take advantage and settled for a draw. He lost the next game, after which 14 more draws ensued. Karpov held a solidly winning position in Game 41, but again blundered and had to settle for a draw. After Kasparov won games 47 and 48, FIDE President Florencio Campomanes unilaterally terminated the match, citing the players' health. Karpov is said to have lost 10 kg over the course of the match. The match had lasted an unprecedented five months, with five wins for Karpov, three for Kasparov, and 40 draws.
okay, yeah this is pretty funny
One of New York Central’s “Mercury” engines in Chicago, 1936.
Where did these go, because I desperately want them back.
You do NOT want them back.
They look neat but there’s a reason these beasts were retired. The Mercury Streamliners, as they was known, got off to a good start. They improved the quality of travel and attracted many tourists to the rail service, which in the 1930s was already growing less popular as a result of the flourishing air travel industry.
But it was not to last. In 1938, a Mercury Engine plowed into a cow named Bessie in upstate New York and, lacking a cow catcher, the collision tore off part of the sleek streamlined veneer that covered the engine underneath. This is what a Mercury Streamliner Engine looks like under its slick armor:
Clearly visible are the three toothy skulls with phallic lobed craniums and bladed jaws. The public was horrified.
To explain, the Mercury Engine was designed by Hans Richard Giger, father of future “Alien” creature designer Hans Rudolf Giger. Like his son, Hans Richard was known in the art world for his dark and disturbing designs. Having won the design contest for the Mercury Engine based on its exterior, the manufacturers were willing to ignore the unseen undercarriage’s necessary skeletal and demonic fashions.
Once seen however, the jig was up. The public demanded the engines be taken offline, and it didn’t happen a day too soon. It seems the Swiss architect had designed his trains with much the same mentality with which Ivo Shandor designed 55 Central Park West- As a doomsday device.
Had the Engines been online only ten days longer, they’d have seen The Day of The Awakening of the Unholy Star, a Neokhlystic holiday on which the world was mourned in preparation for the end of all time. As designed, Giger’s trains would’ve come to live, devouring and digesting their patrons in a blood sacrifice to the Satanic Lord of Carnage, Beelciftan. Had the sacrifice been accepted, the apocalypse would’ve swept from New York across the globe. So said the legend.
Here’s the thing- Legend or not if the Mercury trains had remained online a week after they were revealed as demonic devices, their owner, Bill Gruss von Krampus would’ve had the funds he intended to send to the Nazi Regime in Germany in 1938, which would’ve allowed them to start their nuclear program two years earlier. This would’ve given them the Bomb in 1943, two years before the United States completed its Manhattan Project.
So the demonic plot may well have come true in reality had the unsettling underskeletons of these beasts been revealed. There is now a monument to the Cow of Albany that died to reveal the truth.
Thank you Bessie, for without you the world would be a different place, if it still existed at all.
What the fuck did I just read
in greek mythology, sacrificing the sacred cow of apollo can grant visions of hidden truth
my naym is cow and in new yack i hwile away on rale rode track
toward adolph’s nuek did krampus strain call it a fluek
i reck the trane
:)
This has been going around nearly ten years now and I just noticed the typo in my second dang sentence.
Fun actual fact this post got me mentioned in an article in Reuters.
Where did you get the art work for the skull heads
It’s an H.R. Giger miniature for the film Species, the Reuters article covers it more thoroughly and clearly than my subtle nod in the text.
Absolutely hilarious comment this one
raccoons make no sense because they will leave your birdseed and garbage and garden and compost pile alone but they WILL open a barrel and pull out an empty 5 gallon gas canister and unscrew the lid and leave it in your yard and also untie the dog tether from your porch beam for no reason
one time I watched a raccoon pull up plastic tent stakes at a campground and just walk away, content with causing mischief
another time at camp I woke up to find a raccoon had grabbed the yarn that connected the string telephones my neighbor and I had strung up between our cabin windows and was just yanking on it… I grabbed one end and ended up in a tug-of-war over the string phone while this beefy raccoon pulled and pulled, hand over hand, making direct eye contact with me
and sometimes they’d sneak into cabins and just…. touch people while they slept
why!!! who said you could act like this!!!
god gave them hands but not shame
Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?
Everybody, apparently: No?
Run into a cave and break your ankle so that people have to come find you and they see you lying at the bottom of this beautiful cave and maybe there’s a waterfall and the light from the crystals makes you look really beautiful and they say “Are you okay?” and you say “I think so” and they say “oh my God have you been here alone this whole time with a broken ankle” and you say “it’s okay” and they say “you’re so brave” and you are brave and you look so beautiful surrounded by cave crystals and everyone stands over you and says “oh wow” and “you poor beautiful thing” and “I’m so sorry we let you run into the cave but I’m so glad we found you” and let them carry you home and promise to be your best friends forever and that everything’s their fault and also they named the cave after you and you’re prettier than all of your enemies and your enemies all died of jealousy while you were in the cave.
“How to Respond to Criticism” by Danny M. Lavery for The Toast
seems like plenty of people are lacking the Vitamin
they should invent a living alone that is affordable
Cargo shorts are one of the ugliest clothes ever invented. Next to overalls.
Cargo Shorts are useful when you’re meeting a white bear in the desert and have to carry Gun Oil, condoms, weed, a crowler of craft beer and your 3DS XL with pokemon moon so
Just carry a purse…
But I told him I was masc :(
