wallacepolsom
Origami Around
Acquired Stardust
dirt enthusiast
i don't do bad sauce passes
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Kaledo Art
Discoholic đȘ©
hello vonnie
â
will byers stan first human second
Cosmic Funnies
Mike Driver
â
taylor price
JVL
izzy's playlists!
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
AnasAbdin
we're not kids anymore.
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@asingleredheart
For the next 24 hours, you have no filter and are forced to voice all of your thoughts. Refusing to speak is **not** an option. How fucked are you?
I would be 100% fine, and nothing bad would happen (I don't believe you)
I would get into trouble for sure, but nothing too terrible
I would be in a lot of trouble, but I might be able to fix it
I would be hunted for sport before the day is over
what is your native language?
Mandarin Chinese
Spanish
English
Hindi
Portuguese
Bengali
Russian
Japanese
Cantonese Chinese
other
This is the list of most natively spoken languages in the world, and I want to see how it relates to the (English speaking) tumblr population that will see this.
My prediction for this poll is as follows; English will take the lead with about 85%. From other polls I've gathered that this (part of the) site is about 60% American, plus of course the UK, Canada, Australia, Aotearoa New Zealand, etc. I think Spanish will take second place, (being helped by the amount of Spanish speaking population in the USA). Third place will be "other" (though it might be second!) Since it's of course a compound group. Logically the other languages will taper in order of how much they're spoken in the world, but I think none of them will be above 3%.
I'm excited to see if I'm right! I kinda hope we have more non-native English speakers than I predicted.
go to this random coordinates generator and say in the tags how you would fare if you were dropped where it generates without warning. iâll go first iâd be dropped in the middle of the fucking south atlantic ocean and perish
Ocean
Ocean
Ocean
Ocean
Mount Grefell National Park in Australia
Ocean
Ocean
u idiots u are not being sneaky EVERYONE KNOWS
Meet the Birth Centrifuge
Or to use its more accurate name, the Apparatus For Facilitating The Birth Of A Child By Centrifugal Force, patented by George B and Charlotte E Blosnky in 1965.
You wondering "Surely this isn't an elaborate centrifuge where you whirl the patient round and round until you make the baby fly out? Surely?"
That's exactly what it is (and stop calling us Shirley).
As is the format for patent documentation, George B and Charlotte E Blosnky begin by explaining why the world needs a birth centrifuge. Apparently the foetus needs "considerable propelling force" to leave the body. The Blonskys say that "Primitive peoples" have the muscle and skeletal system to supply this while "Civilized Women" do not, so it's a racist birth centrifuge, too.
The way the contraption is supposed to work is this: "When the gynecologist decides that the most opportune time for childbirth has arrived", you are strapped supine to a stretcher at the head, legs and feet. The stretcher is then loaded up into the centrifuge. It then gets spun round and round at an alarming speed until the baby comes out.
The Blonskys are cagey about the appropriate speed at which a foetus would be "dislodged" (their word). At one point they mention around 8gs, then conclude that would probably be a bit much and suggest starting at around 2gs and going up from there.
In a supine position, a human would black out with in a few minutes at 2gs, and quicker at a faster speed. The Blonskys are well aware of this, and that the birth will therefore have to be achieved by centrifuging alone. They don't see this as a problem, because they have supreme confidence in their birth centrifuge.
At this point, we should point out that the speed at which you'd have to centrifuge someone to make their baby fly out has never been tested. It's uncharted science. There isn't really any data to show whether or not, when exposed to particular g-forces, things will go flying out of the human pelvis.
To prove or refute the concept of the birth centrifuge, can any astronauts, pilots or others who have had high-g training tell us if they let out a bit of wee or poo when you were in the centrifuge?
Anyway, enough about the poor soul strapped into this thing. What happens to the baby? Do you have midwives on hand with lacrosse sticks? Don't worry, it doesn't go flying across the room! There's a net to catch it. There's even a little bit of cotton wadding to prevent it being slammed into any machinery.
The net still raises unpleasant questions as a newborn baby's skull bones aren't fused yet so being accelerated into a net probably isn't good for its head.
Also, the Blonskys don't tell us what's supposed to happen to the placenta. Does it slam straight into the baby from behind?
The biggest question, we suppose, is why?
According to the story behind their design, the Blonskys - husband and wife - had visited the zoo and seen an elephant twirling in circles. A zookeeper explained to them elephants do this before giving birth.
Which, by the way, they don't, because centrifugal force isn't necessary for birth.
So maybe it's an elaborate piece of art critiquing the medicalisation of birth rather than a cursed doohickey conceived from zero understanding of the human anatomy. If so, the Blonskys played a blinder, as the patent documentation is delivered entirely straight-faced and with huge attention to detail.
Unsurprisingly, the birth centrifuge never went into production. The achievements of the Blonskys were recognised in 1999 with a posthumous Ig Nobel Prize for Managed Health Care.
You can enjoy the entire patent document here, technical specifications and all.
I want Mythbusters to build and test this. (Not on people. Obviously.)
Despair thy charm, And let the angel whom thou still hast served Tell thee, Macduff was from his motherâs womb Centrifugally dislodged.
Everyone pick up your government-assigned fursona, grab your two colors then combine it with this random animal picker. Tell us what you get and no rerolls, I don't make the rules.
So....basically a regular jaguar for me
Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later
what is the lamest thing that ever genuinely scared you like either as a kid or adult. i got scared of those halloween cartoon scooby doo ass eye stickers ppl put on mirrors when i was 9 and screamed so hard i fainted
you are an R L Stein protagonist my friend
the godsdamned "# in the bed, roll over, roll over" song :l
Random Animal Generator - Perchance
with the discussion happening on my blog tonight hereâs a âare you a main or side character uquizâ that i have yet to take so i think itâd be fun if we all shared our results to each other, letâs find out
the hero
you are THE main character. i would say congrats, but if you got this result, you Knew you were the main character. you take responsibility and accept your fate. youâre courageous, determined, and able to focus intently on your goals. you fight to overcome obstacles and you donât give up easily. you probably have a mean competitive streak. you have a strict moral code that you follow. you can be arrogant, obsessive, and prideful. occasionally, you pick fights. thatâs okay though. at the end of the day, youâre the hero!!!! go u.
incredible concept, could have assumed Iâd be the side character for sure, like the funny one who dies tragically
the narrator
you're the narrator! you are logical, objective, and reasonable. you don't feel the need to insert yourself into drama or to make waves. you want to understand and percieve, but probably don't like being percieved. you're an understanding person who sees the big picture of things.
is there a word for âi was instantly good at a lot of things as a quote-unquote gifted child, and, as a result, i was able to skate by without ever being taught how to actually learn a new skill, and now that iâm an adult trying to learn new things that i canât be good at instantaneously, i donât have the patience or knowledge to improve on them, because skills that donât come naturally to me just make me angry because i lived off instant gratification my whole childhood due to not ever being challenged intellectually or taught basic learning skills?â asking for a friend
people like this piss me the fuck off
why does everyone refuse to consider the possibility that maybe an education system designed from the ground up to turn intelligent and creative children into mindlessly efficient factory drones might have a negative effect on the people it deems (correctly or not; usually not) to be more intelligent and creative than average?
we were punished for âlearning too fastâ by having the lessons about how to learn taken away from us, and by couching it all in positive language so that our peers would resent and isolate us. literally all of us know weâre not better than anyone else, but that doesnât seem to matter in the face of âi was jealous in elementary school and have held on to that for 15+ years.â
when we say things like âi donât know how to learn things that i donât immediately understandâ you hear âi was that kid you hated because i never studied but i always got a 100% on the test anyway,â but what we mean is:
i have a vague understanding of what a flash card is, but no idea how to make them or what to do with them
i have literally no idea how to take notes because:
i donât know what iâll forget if i donât write it down
i donât know how to pay attention to whatâs being said while i write
i wouldnât know what to do with the notes anyway
if i donât understand something, i donât know how to formulate a question
i donât know how to recognize when i donât know something until it goes wrong, at which point i donât know how to identify what i did wrong
i canât tell the difference between a mistake thatâs part of the learning process and a mistake where i should know better
but yeah, if we ever acknowledge any of this, weâre definitely just being ungrateful whiners who donât realize how good we had it when we were 7
Yeah anime boy can fuck right off. People who canât just hear someone talking about their legitimate struggles without getting pissy towards those people piss *me* off. Not to mention that these struggles are especially faced by people who have adhd and/or autism. Ya know, fucking mental disabilities. Youâre absolutely entitled to vent about your own struggles but youâre specifically doing it by just shitting on other struggling people, a huge portion of whom struggle this way due to disability. And i have no patience for that
You know I was going to joke that the name of the syndrome is Alara Rogers because that is literally the issue I have faced my entire adult life, but then you guys go adding so much valuable insight.
Yes. Not only are we not taught how to learn because we apparently automatically know, but weâre also taught that that is where all our value lies. If we struggle academically, ever, in front of other children, they mock us relentlessly because theyâve been taught to be jealous and resentful of us because weâre the âsmart kidsâ. So we donât dare ever learn something visibly in front of other people if itâs difficult.
I downloaded the script to Rocky Horror off the Internet, so I could memorize the responses, so I wouldnât be publicly humiliated as a âvirginâ. (Some of you are old enough to have some idea what Iâm talking about.) At the time, nobody had Internet but engineers, so I got an engineer friend to do it for me. Because itâs so impossible to be visibly ignorant of anything in front of other people.
Iâm in my 50s now. Iâve learned how to let that go, how to be seen actually trying to learn things in front of other people. But it is, in fact, a crushing burden to put on a child. âYouâre so smart! You can learn anything without even trying! That makes you better than all these other kids!â Who then, of course, hate you, because the system is set up to make them hate you. So you hate them back because they hate you and they make your life hell.
And none of it has to be this way. Because weâre not âsmarter than everyone else.â
at this point it would be less of a liability for elonâs lawyers to just kill him and take their chances on a murder trial
this is why elon suddenly hired a praetorian guard
The Ides of March is almost here, and I have this great idea for how to celebrate this year!
likes charge reblogs cast
This is only for you guys
try my quiz!
Girl autism: Youâre never getting diagnosed. Either youâre too shy or too bossy and no adult has ever thought maybe you could use some help. Are you a chronic people pleaser or do you never listen to what anyone says? You finally found a word that describes your life to a T, and now everyone is gaslighting you into thinking youâre completely normal. Well you got the tism. go girlboss go!
how do you organize your books
alphabetical by author
alphabetical by title
by color
chronological order
no organization
other (in the tags)
She probably helped that girl solve her teen sexuality dilemma anyway, because if that were me and I asked an adult for advice only to find out the adultâs not only worse off than me but also the dumbest person alive, Iâd accept the lesbianism just to get out of the awkward situationâŠ
Poll because I'm curious:
How many first cousins do you have? (put your answer and your "roots"/background in the comments if you want)
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
more than 8
I ask for the "roots" because of this idea that in some "cultures" families are very big, and in other "cultures" they tend to be small, and I want to know to what degree this applies to cousins đ
