I will start and stop wars. Hopefully

I'm here to keep shell oil in check. If I want to.

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Intro

I'm @100percent-shell-oil's (ex) assistant and adopted daughter.

I'm here to either contain her chaos or help it. That is all you need to know. Even though I quit, I'm still doing it, but now I have my own country (The United States Of Assistants) and Chaos to govern.

My qualifications:

I decided to do this, I will.

Also, Also, I'm like, 7 ghosts now. Don't ask why, it's a very long short story. (I died and my soul was rejected, it's complected)

Ghost 1: My subconscious, somehow

Ghost 2: The angry one

Ghost 3: The weird one

Ghost 4: The shy one

Ghost 5: The normal one

Ghost 6: The annoying one

Ghost 7: The cool one

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[docd666]

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

[assistant-to-the-shell]

@official-the-united-states @official-denmark @denmark-forreal @denmark-official @denmarklandia-official

@actually-danish-denmark @official-hongkong @official-ireland @definitelytherepublicofireland @actually-literally-ireland

@forever-scotland @totally-france @france-unofficial @russia-totallyofficial

@germany-official @totally-germany @genuinely-germany @definitely-britain @definitely-canada

@official-new-zealand @nihonkokuu @india-official @yugoslavia-official @wales-official

@the-offical-roman-empire @the-official-italy @guatemala-official @totally-italy @the-principality-of-sealand

@medici-official @definitely-brasil @holy-roman-empire-revived @spain-unofficial @very-real-australia

@antiquitian-empire @literally-luxembourg @100-percent-real-official-malta @aerican-empire-real-nation

@totally-japan @therealrepublicofkorea @pakistan-official @i-am-poland @kingdom-of-asgardia-real

@very-much-mexico @republic-of-molossia @the-kingdom-of-norway @sweden-official @non-tyrannical-usa

@the-entire-country-of-sweden @greenland-offical @michigan-is-cool-trust-me @the-state-of-michigan

@state-of-0hio-official @cape-breton-island-itself @state-of-florida-official @state-of-connecticut-official @the-us-navy-offical

@the-us-navy @the-real-illinois @the-state-of-georgia-official

@mhm-wisconsin @rejasthanofficial @stateofuttarpradeshindiaofficial @the-only-ontario

@actually-alberta @newjersey-official @new-york-for-real @definitely-indiana @the-province-of-nova-scotia-real

@femboy-state-of-florida-official @the-republic-of-texas @new-hampshire-real @the-official-state-of-utah @unofficial-illinois

@newhampshireofficial @saskatchewan-real @quebec-official @texas-real @rhode-island-real

@we-are-not-the-feds @totally-texas @telangana-official @sovereign-state-of-alaska @tamil-nadu-official

@west-bengal-official @this-is-goa @totally-oregon @buffalony-official @maharashtra-official

@kolkatabbg @gujarat-official @axom-miss @karnatakaofficial

@tamilnadu-official @bihar-official @mumbai-official @communist-usa-real @officially-gay-va

@definitely-north-america @antarcitica-official @official-the-pacific-ocean @the-real-atlantic-ocean

@bangladesh-official @hyderabad-unofficial @delhi-the-capital @thestateoflouisiana @amul-unofficial

hey gimmick verse, you know what to do.

(don't know how many of you are still around, i'm using an old list).

[the-silly-words-on-your-screen]

As an alternative to 'sugar, spice, and everything nice'

I present: 'salt, vinegar, and everything sinister'

[the-silly-words-on-your-screen]

no it does not, I am perfectly happy with my obscurity

[a-guy-that-may-be-a-dipshit]

Hey op how’s the notes on your post?

[the-silly-words-on-your-screen]

too many

I refuse to believe that I could ever produce a 100k post

[flyingpag657]

@walmart-the-official

[cuprohastes]

About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

[alexaloraetheris]

OP did it hurt when Apollo's dodgeball hit you and made you write that story?

[aritany]

[whumpyinside]

😅🥲

[arrowheadedbitch]

I just accidentally made un-tea?????

I made green tea, but I forgot there was an old bag of chai in the kettle, so I mixed chai water with decaf green tea, then I mixed in like a half table spoon or something of that honey from the dollar store that they aren't legally allowed to call honey because there's too much corn syrup in it and some almond milk and a single drop of coffee creamer because we ran out and???? It tastes like??? Nothing????

It has LESS flavor than my tap water! HOW do you EVEN-

I think I made a flavor that's only perceptible to shrimp, that's the only explanation

[arrowheadedbitch]

It tried to make it again and I somehow made milk???? I used almond milk but it tastes like whole milk???? Like straight from the fucking tit what the fuck, HOW DID I MAKE LACTOSE FREE MILK WTF WTF HOWWW

[fwoosheye]

Pretty sure OP are on their way to become a modern alchemist

[arrowheadedbitch]

Halp

[doublemyheight]

New tumblr recipe dropped gang inform strange aeons

[arrowheadedbitch]

Oh dear

[the-tired-ish-rat]

don't worry arrow I believe in you, you can make your tea. wait what's this cup- aaaææÆGHHH

[arrowheadedbitch]

Please stop trying to curse me

[arrowheadedbitch]

I made more untea, god help me

[arrowheadedbitch]

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU GUYS TO *STOP* TRYING TO CURSE ME

[arrowheadedbitch]

YOU

[arrowheadedbitch]

Okay, my most popular post is a 20k Tim Drake post, you can't get this to a 100k that's actually ridiculous. Good luck doing the impossible, babes

[arrowheadedbitch]

Isaac, get the FUCK out of here

[dadragonking222]

No, i refuse

>:D

[arrowheadedbitch]

KILL YOURSELF

[the-tired-ish-rat]

i revived my spam reblog blog just for this. love you pookie enjoy the notification storm

[arrowheadedbitch]

I will block you, don't test me spam rat

[arrowheadedbitch]

My dearest friend, do not make me do something I will look back and frown upon

[mahmoudzaki532k]

Hello everyone, I am Mahmoud AlGandour from the northern Gaza Strip, displaced in Deir Al-Balah, and living in a tent with my family.😢🥺

My family members number is 6 persons living a very hard life in a small tent.😢😓💔

We lost our home in Gaza and my father and I lost our source of income and now we live on aids.

This is our livelihood. The Israeli occupation bombed it. Nothing is left. Nothing is left for us.💔💔😭

So I decided to run a gofundme link to help my family to be able to live abetter life a way from war and evacuate when the chance come.

Donate to Support Mahmoud's Family in Gaza Crisis, organized by Casey Dubin

Hello, my name is Casey, and I am trying to help fundraise for my friend Mahmoud a… Casey Dubin needs your support for Support Mahmoud's Fam

I ASK ALL OF YOU TO HELP MY FAMILY AND DONATE IN THE LINK PLEASE🍉

@fancysmudges @brokenbackmountain @mothblossoms @aleciosun @fluoresensitivearchived @khizuo @lesbiandardevil @transmutationisms @schoolhater98 @timogsilangan @appsdotli @buttercuparry @sayruq @malcriada @palestinegenocide @sar-soor @akajustmerry @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @feluka @tortiefrancis @flower-teen-kill-team @tsaricides @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @visenyasdragon @belleandsaintsebastian @ear-motif @kordeliiius @brutaliakhoa @raelyn-dreams @troythecatfish @theropoda @tamamita @4ft10tvlandfangirl @queerstudiesnatural @northgazaupdates2 @skatezophrenic @awetistic-things @camgirlpanopticon @baby-girl-aaron-dessner @nabulsi27 @sygol @junglejim4322 @heritageposts @chososhairbuns @palistani123-blog @dlxxv-vetted-donations @illuminated-runas @imjustheretotrytohelp

[the-fruitpunch-clown]

so as one does i decide to scroll through uquiz bc im easily distracted and find this quiz

“can i guess your sexuality?” no!! ofc you can’t you’ll never-

nvm i guess ill just shut up

[but anyways you should try it too!! @saturnneedsspace ]

[the-official-goose-god]

oop...

@definitely-waste-management @100percent-shell-oil

[definitely-waste-management]

How the FUCK-

@totally-neptune-official @assistant-to-the-shell

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost 6: How? Seriously?

@alecasnotebook @paprus-teutonic-knight (btw, it's me brokenstar28)

[sometimesieatexpiredcatfoof]

would u like to have a picnic :3 i’ll cut fruit :3

yes!!! ill bring all the bread and baked goods !! ^_^

who else is coming ? :D

[asclexe]

i think we should each invite some of our mutuals!! :3

soo @wilsons-three-legged-siamese @lv3buzzz @sillyhyperfixator @noctilucaa @neil-perrys-suicidal-tendencies would u guys like to come :3 (srry if we’re moots and i didn’t tag you i forget who im mooted with unless im looking at the list and i just woke up!!! love u guys as well, everyone is invited!!!!!!!!)

feel free to bring ur own guests or food :3

[noctilucaa-deactivated20241222]

YIPPEEE MUTUALS PICNIC :D

inviting more moots 😔 @arrr-im-a-dead-poet @ayaswrld @daydream-of-a-wallflower @ev-enhotterthanyou @flowersforralphie

@fell-outta-my-chair @garden-of-runar @neil-kinnie @i-love-steven-meeks @deadcrowcalling

@loving-jack-kelly @quillpen-poet @stanleyvampire14 @toindeedbeapoet @thatsleepyartist

@urfavmontague @lookingglasswolf @vintagetea8991 @lefthandedspaghetti @ghostboyhood

@vivaalaviidaaa @wordssricochet @y-a-w-p @yourfavvgal @yournormalidiot

@pingunaa @faileddog @sleepinginmygrave @rhysdoesstuff @basementcorelingo

[vivaalaviidaaa]

Omgggg yesss we can paint pretty pictures:D

@arrr-im-a-dead-poet @lifemod17 @that-fruitier-emo @lesbicosmos @a-d3ad-p0et @let-the-wind-sing @beetheyapper @anxious-loner11 @arggghhhsstuff @prettypinkbubbless @rubylaufeyson @neilperryismine

[prettypinkbubbless]

I’m so excited, I’ll bring leonande (normal and pink, of course.)

Join us, @madmanpoet @elle-oh-ell3 @clouds-soup @illiteratesblog @nicoandthepoets @alightelixe @monachopsisindefaultmode @poetsinnyc @murd3rouscrow @desire-mona @neilperrystypewriter

[illiteratesblog]

Owww this is so cute! Y'all know I can bring good vibes :3

Maybe you want to bring something else? @oh-cramity-its-amity @sapphosdickandballs (I'm sorry Sappho, but I'm gonna be the funny one this time 💅 /lh)

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

ill bring my infodumping ass and some books!! sure, ill come.

@thousand-winters @sapphosdickandballs @nostalgic-bee @fangirling-heart @foxonrollerskates @localowlhousefanatic @braveblackbutterfly @witch128chick @mittenskittensslay @lunar-jewels @acearcane

@strawberryfaced

!!! youve gotta come too!!

[sapphosdickandballs]

If I can’t bring the funny, I guess I’ll make sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies (vital picnic items)

and I’ll bring my beloved mutuals - @negative-speedforce @pulim-v @aceofstars0

[negative-speedforce]

I'll bring a tofu quiche and blackberry bars!

Tagging @vexic929 @hellonoblesky @frosty-the-killer-doll @ele-millennial-weirdo

[vexic929]

yessss I'll bring cucumber lemonade <3333

tagging: @shrinkthisviolet @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @alittleflashvibe @zeroducks-2 @thatsnotmygunflash

@thefastestqueeralive @myxmentrashblog @practically-an-x-man @autisticharrywells @angst-is-love-angst-is-life

[zeroducks-2]

yall so cute I can barbecue stuff for you if you're into that (veggies too!), I'm good with open fires

@anawrites3 @deepwithintheabyss @gabedemon @aqua-dan @madamesmoke

@ftl-faster-than-life @hellispeacefullandempty @distort-opia @roipecheur @derangedfujoshi

@gimmemore14 @hopetimistic @hmmbarkbark @keanurye @jellyfitzjelly

@jairshahar @nat-wing @roboticnebula @reddiamond29 @thesubtextis

@watercr3ss @looptheloup

come to the picnic

[gimmemore14]

I’ve been summoned, I’ll bring cornhole and a cooler of beer/whiteclaws for some counter balance

Come with me, y’all, I need a partner for cornhole!

@hii-theree @lordwisteria @caroaimezoe @ladyraeka @wingdingery @thesubtextis @riots-r @ontheropesss @dichard-grayson

[dichard-grayson]

Ooo this is super cute! I’m really bad at corn hole but I’ve got the spirit. I can bring some chips and those frosted sprinkle cookies everyone brought to school on their birthdays.

Come to the picnic!!

@placentamilkshakes @audhd-nightwing @i-care-bout-things-too @somanyrobins @rt-nique @incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly

[rt-nique]

Omg the nostalgia hit. I’ll bring juice boxes n cheese to snack on!

I’m so ready nom n touch (hypothetical) grass

@doodle-dog-diary @redhoodcoded @thy-valhallen @yeetus-feetus @kelsgoldenoj

[thy-valhallen]

This is so sweet, and so many of us!!! Good thing I have an entire chest of old grandma quilts-- they're made out of beloved t-shirts!

I will be eating grass, hypothetical or real

@andallthatcouldhave @stargazer-luna @zimzywhimzy @golden-honey-bea

[stargazer-luna]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'll bring the souvenir knives?

@joandragon @tildeathiwillwrite @rainintheevening @pillarofawesome @cherokeefrank

[tildeathiwillwrite]

I'll bring a volleyball! 🏐 And maybe some fresh bread 😋

@fourwingedsnake @catwingsathena @writer-of-worlds @phoenixradiant @writingphoenix @chronicallydragons @whiteperle3 @sleepy-artist27 + anyone I'm forgetting lol

[sleepyy27-spam-reblog-chaos]

I’ll bring my switch so we can Mario kart and smash bros! ^-^

@treasure-goblin @dreamy-wolfy @whiteperle3 @plateapus @lunawolfiefoxy

@i-like-orange-juice @majorproblems77 @ladye-zelda @marenwithanm @almost-an-artist

@wawapiggy @hotcheetohatredwastaken @tildeathiwillwrite (get uno reversed!! >:D ) @spicy-seaweed @pickpocketwatch

@links-in-time @hero-of-fortune @wishtale-blogs @pixeicat

@anyone I’m forgetting/open tags! ^-^

[wawapiggy]

i’ll also bring a switch with some loz games cos there seems to be a lot of people at this picnic lol

but i’m also inviting more!!

@sleepy-the-loz-enthusiast @anime-obsessed @heroofsleep @nightyraven-art @anyone else who wants to join :D

[nightyraven-art]

I'll bring my notebook I'll draw portraits of everybody :00

@sketchy-potato @snack-bastard @drinkingchocolatedraws

@unexpectedstormy

[sketchy-potato]

Ooooo, I'll bring myself and I'll bring some bored games! Like Sorry, Monopoly, and Clue!

@thecrazyalchemist @thebookshelflord @idk-why-im-h3r3 @hotcheetohatredwastaken @vicmillen @every one else I forgot!

[the-bookshelf-queen]

I'll bring some cards (I love card games. As many decks as I can carry)

@thecrazyalchemist @anotherhumanperson @annotated-catastrophe @raylaismad @alchemicalwerewolf @thebutterflyoficeandwisteria @silly-demon @anyone else I forgot and whoever wants to join

[anotherhumanperson]

I'll bring some tea!

@kimu-dem @wingedkatgirl @writing-forever @gravityflops @.anyone else that wants to join in on the picnic :3

[brb-on-a-quest]

I’m invading! Don’t worry I bring tribute (popsicles and ice cream cuz it’s warm where I live.)

@igotthisaccountunderduress @hiddenvioletsgrow @informedimagining @walkthruthewords @tristicorde @gracefulchristiangirl @afaroffsong @onewingedsparrow (help me carry the army of coolers? Pls? 🥺)

[iggy-gotthisaccountunderduress]

Merci for the invite, I’ll bring some French pastries!!

@sardonic-sprite @pevensiechase @quotidian-oblivion @pics-and-fanfics @brokenstar28

@tristicorde @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego @ladyartichokie @partlysunny15 @st4r-fire

[brokenstar28]

Potatoes.

@alecasnotebook @paprus-teutonic-knight @normalperson3 @threeraccoonsinatr3nchcoat @thechildofshadows

[threeraccoonsinatr3nchcoat]

More potatoes and baked goods :D

@assistant-to-the-shell @timdrakesmother @errorfixed

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost 7: You do know I'm the same person as @brokenstar28

[threeraccoonsinatr3nchcoat]

Aw :[

I dodnt have anyone else to tag

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost 5: I would have thought you would bring some Giraffe-Centaur meat for us to try.

[sometimesieatexpiredcatfoof]

would u like to have a picnic :3 i’ll cut fruit :3

yes!!! ill bring all the bread and baked goods !! ^_^

who else is coming ? :D

[asclexe]

i think we should each invite some of our mutuals!! :3

soo @wilsons-three-legged-siamese @lv3buzzz @sillyhyperfixator @noctilucaa @neil-perrys-suicidal-tendencies would u guys like to come :3 (srry if we’re moots and i didn’t tag you i forget who im mooted with unless im looking at the list and i just woke up!!! love u guys as well, everyone is invited!!!!!!!!)

feel free to bring ur own guests or food :3

[noctilucaa-deactivated20241222]

YIPPEEE MUTUALS PICNIC :D

inviting more moots 😔 @arrr-im-a-dead-poet @ayaswrld @daydream-of-a-wallflower @ev-enhotterthanyou @flowersforralphie

@fell-outta-my-chair @garden-of-runar @neil-kinnie @i-love-steven-meeks @deadcrowcalling

@loving-jack-kelly @quillpen-poet @stanleyvampire14 @toindeedbeapoet @thatsleepyartist

@urfavmontague @lookingglasswolf @vintagetea8991 @lefthandedspaghetti @ghostboyhood

@vivaalaviidaaa @wordssricochet @y-a-w-p @yourfavvgal @yournormalidiot

@pingunaa @faileddog @sleepinginmygrave @rhysdoesstuff @basementcorelingo

[vivaalaviidaaa]

Omgggg yesss we can paint pretty pictures:D

@arrr-im-a-dead-poet @lifemod17 @that-fruitier-emo @lesbicosmos @a-d3ad-p0et @let-the-wind-sing @beetheyapper @anxious-loner11 @arggghhhsstuff @prettypinkbubbless @rubylaufeyson @neilperryismine

[prettypinkbubbless]

I’m so excited, I’ll bring leonande (normal and pink, of course.)

Join us, @madmanpoet @elle-oh-ell3 @clouds-soup @illiteratesblog @nicoandthepoets @alightelixe @monachopsisindefaultmode @poetsinnyc @murd3rouscrow @desire-mona @neilperrystypewriter

[illiteratesblog]

Owww this is so cute! Y'all know I can bring good vibes :3

Maybe you want to bring something else? @oh-cramity-its-amity @sapphosdickandballs (I'm sorry Sappho, but I'm gonna be the funny one this time 💅 /lh)

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

ill bring my infodumping ass and some books!! sure, ill come.

@thousand-winters @sapphosdickandballs @nostalgic-bee @fangirling-heart @foxonrollerskates @localowlhousefanatic @braveblackbutterfly @witch128chick @mittenskittensslay @lunar-jewels @acearcane

@strawberryfaced

!!! youve gotta come too!!

[sapphosdickandballs]

If I can’t bring the funny, I guess I’ll make sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies (vital picnic items)

and I’ll bring my beloved mutuals - @negative-speedforce @pulim-v @aceofstars0

[negative-speedforce]

I'll bring a tofu quiche and blackberry bars!

Tagging @vexic929 @hellonoblesky @frosty-the-killer-doll @ele-millennial-weirdo

[vexic929]

yessss I'll bring cucumber lemonade <3333

tagging: @shrinkthisviolet @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @alittleflashvibe @zeroducks-2 @thatsnotmygunflash

@thefastestqueeralive @myxmentrashblog @practically-an-x-man @autisticharrywells @angst-is-love-angst-is-life

[zeroducks-2]

yall so cute I can barbecue stuff for you if you're into that (veggies too!), I'm good with open fires

@anawrites3 @deepwithintheabyss @gabedemon @aqua-dan @madamesmoke

@ftl-faster-than-life @hellispeacefullandempty @distort-opia @roipecheur @derangedfujoshi

@gimmemore14 @hopetimistic @hmmbarkbark @keanurye @jellyfitzjelly

@jairshahar @nat-wing @roboticnebula @reddiamond29 @thesubtextis

@watercr3ss @looptheloup

come to the picnic

[gimmemore14]

I’ve been summoned, I’ll bring cornhole and a cooler of beer/whiteclaws for some counter balance

Come with me, y’all, I need a partner for cornhole!

@hii-theree @lordwisteria @caroaimezoe @ladyraeka @wingdingery @thesubtextis @riots-r @ontheropesss @dichard-grayson

[dichard-grayson]

Ooo this is super cute! I’m really bad at corn hole but I’ve got the spirit. I can bring some chips and those frosted sprinkle cookies everyone brought to school on their birthdays.

Come to the picnic!!

@placentamilkshakes @audhd-nightwing @i-care-bout-things-too @somanyrobins @rt-nique @incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly

[rt-nique]

Omg the nostalgia hit. I’ll bring juice boxes n cheese to snack on!

I’m so ready nom n touch (hypothetical) grass

@doodle-dog-diary @redhoodcoded @thy-valhallen @yeetus-feetus @kelsgoldenoj

[thy-valhallen]

This is so sweet, and so many of us!!! Good thing I have an entire chest of old grandma quilts-- they're made out of beloved t-shirts!

I will be eating grass, hypothetical or real

@andallthatcouldhave @stargazer-luna @zimzywhimzy @golden-honey-bea

[stargazer-luna]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'll bring the souvenir knives?

@joandragon @tildeathiwillwrite @rainintheevening @pillarofawesome @cherokeefrank

[tildeathiwillwrite]

I'll bring a volleyball! 🏐 And maybe some fresh bread 😋

@fourwingedsnake @catwingsathena @writer-of-worlds @phoenixradiant @writingphoenix @chronicallydragons @whiteperle3 @sleepy-artist27 + anyone I'm forgetting lol

[sleepyy27-spam-reblog-chaos]

I’ll bring my switch so we can Mario kart and smash bros! ^-^

@treasure-goblin @dreamy-wolfy @whiteperle3 @plateapus @lunawolfiefoxy

@i-like-orange-juice @majorproblems77 @ladye-zelda @marenwithanm @almost-an-artist

@wawapiggy @hotcheetohatredwastaken @tildeathiwillwrite (get uno reversed!! >:D ) @spicy-seaweed @pickpocketwatch

@links-in-time @hero-of-fortune @wishtale-blogs @pixeicat

@anyone I’m forgetting/open tags! ^-^

[wawapiggy]

i’ll also bring a switch with some loz games cos there seems to be a lot of people at this picnic lol

but i’m also inviting more!!

@sleepy-the-loz-enthusiast @anime-obsessed @heroofsleep @nightyraven-art @anyone else who wants to join :D

[nightyraven-art]

I'll bring my notebook I'll draw portraits of everybody :00

@sketchy-potato @snack-bastard @drinkingchocolatedraws

@unexpectedstormy

[sketchy-potato]

Ooooo, I'll bring myself and I'll bring some bored games! Like Sorry, Monopoly, and Clue!

@thecrazyalchemist @thebookshelflord @idk-why-im-h3r3 @hotcheetohatredwastaken @vicmillen @every one else I forgot!

[the-bookshelf-queen]

I'll bring some cards (I love card games. As many decks as I can carry)

@thecrazyalchemist @anotherhumanperson @annotated-catastrophe @raylaismad @alchemicalwerewolf @thebutterflyoficeandwisteria @silly-demon @anyone else I forgot and whoever wants to join

[anotherhumanperson]

I'll bring some tea!

@kimu-dem @wingedkatgirl @writing-forever @gravityflops @.anyone else that wants to join in on the picnic :3

[brb-on-a-quest]

I’m invading! Don’t worry I bring tribute (popsicles and ice cream cuz it’s warm where I live.)

@igotthisaccountunderduress @hiddenvioletsgrow @informedimagining @walkthruthewords @tristicorde @gracefulchristiangirl @afaroffsong @onewingedsparrow (help me carry the army of coolers? Pls? 🥺)

[iggy-gotthisaccountunderduress]

Merci for the invite, I’ll bring some French pastries!!

@sardonic-sprite @pevensiechase @quotidian-oblivion @pics-and-fanfics @brokenstar28

@tristicorde @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego @ladyartichokie @partlysunny15 @st4r-fire

[brokenstar28]

Potatoes.

@alecasnotebook @paprus-teutonic-knight @normalperson3 @threeraccoonsinatr3nchcoat @thechildofshadows

[threeraccoonsinatr3nchcoat]

More potatoes and baked goods :D

@assistant-to-the-shell @timdrakesmother @errorfixed

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost 7: You do know I'm the same person as @brokenstar28

[threeraccoonsinatr3nchcoat]

Good evening. May we inquire about your association with the shell of a 100 oil percents?

Sincerely, @totallyrealcops

Sure?? Do you have a warrant

Shells actually one of my best friends on here :]

[totallyrealcops]

Yes, we do in fact have a warrent! You see, we have been search for any of Shell's alter egos under the promise of one (1) donut! If yoy could provide any information, it would be much apprecuated, as the task has been ... difficult in the vast land of Tumblr.

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost 3: An award, you say?

[totallyrealcops]

Ah! An assistant to the Shell! Yes, we shall be rewarded with one (1) donut if we are able to find a single one of Shell's alter egos! Would you care to assist our search? We offer the reward of one (1) legal freebie or another negotiable reward if you wish to assist!

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost: Ah, yes, you see, before Shell was Shell, before she joins the gimmick verse, she was a simple incorrect quote blog, and I was one of her first friends on these hellsite.

Ghost: So, I will tell you.

Ghost: We aren't really doing this, are we?

Ghost: @normalperson3 & @normalperson4!!!

Ghost: *evil laugh*

[totallyrealcops]

Thank you for your assistance! *Slides you a stack of papers granting you or one of your associates a single legal freebie of your choice* Sign on page 351, please. Donut!!!! Donut!!!! Donut!!!! Donut!!!! Donut!!!! Donut!!!!

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost: Tis appreciated, We shall use this wisely.

[threeraccoonsinatr3nchcoat]

Good evening. May we inquire about your association with the shell of a 100 oil percents?

Sincerely, @totallyrealcops

Sure?? Do you have a warrant

Shells actually one of my best friends on here :]

[totallyrealcops]

Yes, we do in fact have a warrent! You see, we have been search for any of Shell's alter egos under the promise of one (1) donut! If yoy could provide any information, it would be much apprecuated, as the task has been ... difficult in the vast land of Tumblr.

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost 3: An award, you say?

[totallyrealcops]

Ah! An assistant to the Shell! Yes, we shall be rewarded with one (1) donut if we are able to find a single one of Shell's alter egos! Would you care to assist our search? We offer the reward of one (1) legal freebie or another negotiable reward if you wish to assist!

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost: Ah, yes, you see, before Shell was Shell, before she joins the gimmick verse, she was a simple incorrect quote blog, and I was one of her first friends on these hellsite.

Ghost: So, I will tell you.

Ghost: We aren't really doing this, are we?

Ghost: @normalperson3 & @normalperson4!!!

Ghost: *evil laugh*

[100percent-shell-oil]

Me: So these are all my secret identities. They all have different timezones, appearances, ages, pronouns, and names. I was going to change speech patterns but that sounded like a little much :/

My sister: Okay, batman

[totallyrealcops]

*Notes that down in our little cheap notepads*

Hmmm interesting

[100percent-shell-oil]

If you find out one of my other identities i will give you one (1) muffin

[totallyrealcops]

*makes more notes*

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Would you care to change that offer to one (1) donut?

[100percent-shell-oil]

Sure

Figure out my super secret identity and you get a donut

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost: *evil laugh*

Ghost: *eviler laugh*

Ghost: *even more evil laugh*

[threeraccoonsinatr3nchcoat]

Good evening. May we inquire about your association with the shell of a 100 oil percents?

Sincerely, @totallyrealcops

Sure?? Do you have a warrant

Shells actually one of my best friends on here :]

[totallyrealcops]

Yes, we do in fact have a warrent! You see, we have been search for any of Shell's alter egos under the promise of one (1) donut! If yoy could provide any information, it would be much apprecuated, as the task has been ... difficult in the vast land of Tumblr.

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost 3: An award, you say?

[shakespeare-official-account-de]

Tag four people and assign one of these to them:

Looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you

Looks like they can kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll

Looks like a cinnamon roll, can actually kill you

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll

Consider yourself included if you see this!

[shakespeare-official-reblogs]

*cracks knuckles*

Looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you: @realsafari

Looks like they can kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll: @confusedhomicidalrage

Looks like a cinnamon roll, can actually kill you: @gibbish-anon-from-gell

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll: @nanochittle

aand bonus tags bc why not: @important-question-anon @juliasreblogs @jayysnotjoyful @yes-im-youtube-kids @india-reblogs

[india-official]

Looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you: @the-red-planet-mars

Looks like they can kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll: @the-lovely-planet-earth

Looks like a cinnamon roll, can actually kill you: @shakespeare-official-reblogs

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll: @totally-italy

[totally-italy]

Ouch, I don't know exactly how to take that....

Looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you: @duothelingo

Looks like they can kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll: @france-unofficial

Looks like a cinnamon roll, can actually kill you: @the-official-italy

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll: @denmark-forreal

[denmark-forreal]

you tons of people tell me im scary??? i never got that

looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you: @actual-aspec-military

looks like they can kill you, actually a cinnamon roll: @official-denmark (i believe you can kill if ud like but use it as a last resort after mind games)

looks like a cinnamon roll, can actually kill you: @the-principality-of-sealand (bros TERRIFYING)

looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll: @definitelytherepublicofireland i think. this category was hard

IF THESE ARE INACCURATE I APOLOGIES BUT THIS IS HOW MY BRAIN SEES THINGS

[the-principality-of-sealand]

EHEHEHEHEHEHEHH.

Looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you: @france-unofficial

Looks like they can kill you, actually a cinnamon roll: @antiquitian-empire

Looks like a cinnamon roll, can actually kill you: @guatemala-official

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll: @i-say-bean

[i-say-bean]

bean <33

Looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you: @france-unofficial

Looks like they can kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll: @its-target-official

Looks like a cinnamon roll, can actually kill you: @100percent-shell-oil

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll: @i-say-doot-doot

[i-say-doot-doot]

DOOT DOOT :DD

Looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you

@gimmick-nose-thief :<

Looks like they can kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll

@big-fucking-sagittarius-astar

Looks like a cinnamon roll, can actually kill you

@100percent-shell-oil

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll

@definitely-waste-management :)

[100percent-shell-oil]

:)

Looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you @assistant-to-the-shell

Looks like they can kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll @the-principality-of-sealand

Looks like a cinnamon roll, can actually kill you @france-unofficial

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll @its-target-official

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost 2: Looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you - @unity-real

Ghost 5: Looks like they can kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll - @100percent-shell-oil

Ghost 4: Looks like a cinnamon roll, can actually kill you - @definitely-waste-management

Ghost 7: Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll - @the-principality-of-sealand

Ghost 1: Apologies, I have 7 ghosts right now, so things are a little complicated

[100percent-shell-oil]

I am in horrible agonizing pain the likes of which no one has ever had to deal with before

[the-principality-of-sealand]

What happened?

Are you OK?

[100percent-shell-oil]

I have period cramps :(

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost 7: Oh, you you are not talking about The Pain from when I walk for more then 1/4th of a mile and it feels like there is shrapnel in my ankle as I walk and The Pain slowly crawls up through my calves and I have to talk to The Voices to get any reprieve from The Pain.

Ghost 2: Your just talking about menstruation.

[assistant-to-the-shell]

I have decided to cause some chaos, so, without further ado, I am now dead.

@100percent-shell-oil @definitely-waste-management

[definitely-waste-management]

ASSISTANT WHAT-

NOOOOOOO

@totally-neptune-official we need a funeral service.

[the-principality-of-sealand]

ASSISTANT STOLE MY FUCKING JOB.

[god-of-death-official]

assistant isnt dead

[assistant-to-the-shell]

Ghost 7: Yeah, you rejected my soul, that's why we are ghosts