As You Wes

Guess who hasn't been on tumblr since the mid 2000s before some fucking gay pirate show appeared and now I have to de-2010 my tumblr.

[lena-oleanderson]

also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

[dogpuppy]

[johnnysmissingass-deactivated20]

😭😭😭

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

793.85

card tricks

[kaida427]

what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

611.642

the prepuce (aka foreskin)

is a simple "please" too much to ask?

[kaida427]

prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

179.92

forgiveness

[papanowo]

happy pride to these FREAKS

[ziocorvid]

seems believable enough

[phantomofthehoepera]

I want the record to state I have never been this hard in my entire life

[homosexualslug]

teor's last gift to wick being to give him a level 20 in charisma only for wicander to immediately fail every damn charisma check he tried to make at the manor. if he was in a grave, that lion would be rolling in it.

[kuzhik]

[king-finnigan]

god i love dying in the witcher 3. not because i have to do part of what i was doing again but because i love to just. imagine the funeral.

like i always picture them burning geralts body at kaer morhen and giving him a eulogy n shit n i always imagine they'd just lowkey roast geralt the entire time. like.

"here lies geralt of rivia (or geralt eric roger du haute-bellegarde), the butcher of blaviken, the white wolf. who walked the path for 138 slutty, slutty years, during which he was part of many important political plots and wars and fought bravely and valiantly. geralt of rivia, who fucking died because he was fighting three (3) drowners and couldn't eat his raw onions fast enough. he was not very smart."

or "here lies geralt of rivia, who died because he jumped off of a 6-foot ledge as a shortcut and didn't know that that would fucking kill him. we don't know how he managed to die from that, either."

or "here lies geralt of rivia, who, after fighting off 15 men and sustaining minimal damage, set a barrel on fire for funsies, didn't step back far enough, and fucking blew himself up. may he rest in pieces. godspeed you absolute idiot."

[asidewalksymphony]

UPDATE! They found the original photo!

[lappuncheung]

30 Remember

surprise dragon! I felt like it should look a little Haku-ish :)

[lobstabear]

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.

[knittingontheroad]

I became a tattoo artist at 49.

Married the love of my life at 50.

Got my Class A CDL at 59.

You've got time.

As long as you're breathing, you've got time.

[lizardbraining]

⚠️PHM SPOILERS

No one can convince me this isn’t why Rocky got their new little dome thing

[thefloatingstone]

The last time I saw Earth.

[moonthymes]

anyway jeff bezos could eradicate homelessness. he could literally give each homeless person 100k and it would only take less than .5% of his entire wealth. what the actual god giving fuck

[the-prolefeed]

Why do you think they deserve it

[killin-the-machine]

Well shelter is a basic need, and would at the very least allow them a place where they can get back on their feet. Food water and shelter are necessary for a healthy body and psychology. There’s also the fact that they’re people too, and a little help goes a long way in making a decent community. There’s plenty of reasons

[the-prolefeed]

Yeah they need stuff, but why does every homeless person deserve 0.5% of someone’s income

[teaboot]

You have five hundred apples, and just one day to eat them all. 

You pass by a small crowd of hungry children, and decide you’d rather 455 apples go rotten than give them to some snotty brat who isn’t your problem.

It doesn’t matter how hard you’ve worked for your 500 apples, or that you aren’t the parent of any of those kids. in the moment you decide to walk away, it doesn’t matter why they’re hungry, or who owes who what.

You had the opportunity to help people, you had the ability to help people, you had the resources to help people. You had everything you needed to make a small, tiny little difference in someone’s life, and you decided not to.

What are you going to buy in your lifetime that’s worth more to you than your own humanity?

[just-queer-things]

What are you going to buy in your lifetime that’s worth more to you than your own humanity

[i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom]

Reblogging for the very, very important lesson

[universeleads]

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

[universeleads]

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

[overwhelmedfernfrond]

I explained the “x before gta6” meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named Gică Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: “This happened and Gică Petrescu hasn’t even died yet?!?”

So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid

[venort]

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

[now-for-wrath-now-for-ruin]

King Théoden