It's so difficult to express neglect.
Other forms of abuse have always something that stands out, that's out of the norm. If you've been neglected... You instead miss something. You don't even question why it was important because you never had it in your entire life. And how do you express it?
Maybe it's just something that happens, not every family is the same. Yet you can't grasp why your behavior is different than your cousins, why you do feel that something is out of place.
But you can't desire something you never had and never knew how it felt like, right?
You can try to open up. But you never suffered any personal violation. You're just envious. You didn't have it, they seem so happy. They are so happy.
Neglect always feel minor. Even the worst case of neglect can be brushed off with: "oh poor baby, now you have someone that feeds and cleans you. You are now healed".
But neglect is a form of abuse too.
Neglectful parents pride themselves with kids when they hear situations of abuse: "I'm not bad, I never hit you. You should be thankful of your family". But you still created deep wounds in my soul: I'm not able to function, to behave like a normal being.
Tough it up, you must face everything on your own. But you were 7, 11, 14 years old. And you were put in front of situations that would be difficult even for an adult.
You had to learn a way out, without any guidance. You had to learn how to swim in a stormy ocean, because the ones that should've teached you in a calm pool were never there for you. Sink or swim, and at least you managed to breathe. But at what cost?
Your head manages to stay up, but your body is all clenched up. You can't move. Everyone around you is walking, the water arrives at their hips. They run into the sun, you can never reach them.
It leaves scars. It's hard to heal. It's abuse but it's not seen as that. Tough it up, they say.
It's so difficult to express neglect.
