Mike Driver
YOU ARE THE REASON

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if i look back, i am lost
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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EXPECTATIONS
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@awkwardllamarambles
Jane Austen: *creates Mr Darcy, Mr Knightley, Captain Wentworth and Mr Tilney*
Me:
have i ever told y’all about the greatest moment of my academic career
i was a freshman in college and i had this history teacher who was ~edgy~ and his hotness level on ratemyprofessor was off the charts and he was the first teacher i ever heard use the word “fuck.” anyway he would do this thing every so often where we’d have a “quiz” and the first two questions were always really easy and the last one was hard - they were all similar questions, and the point was to show what you learn about history and what you don’t.
so one day he’s like okay kids time for a quiz and the first question was who killed abraham lincoln. the second question was who killed JFK. third question was who killed william mckinley.
we all take a few minutes and write down our answers, and then the teacher asks the questions again so we can shout out the answers. everybody answered the first two with really no problem.
now, keep in mind that this class was at 9 a.m. and i was exhausted All The Time during my freshman year of college so i sat in the back in my sweats and never said a word and the teacher definitely had no clue who i was.
so you can imagine his surprise when he asked the class who shot william mckinley and without missing a beat i said, “czolgosz,” pronounced correctly and everything.
my teacher froze and in a very stern voice asked, “what was that? what did someone just say?”
i repeated: czolgosz.
my teacher: “who said that?”
i raised my hand, and my super cool history teacher glared at me. he then asked me how the hell i knew the answer. he said that in the TWENTY YEARS he’d been teaching this stupid class, nobody, not A SINGLE PERSON, had ever known the answer to that question.
i then had to quietly explain to a room full of people that there’s a musical called assassins and there’s a song about czolgosz shooting william mckinley at the great pan american exposition in buffaloooooooo (in buffaloooooooo)
The arts are important.
I shocked a teacher once because I could recite the preamble to the US Constitution (got bonus points to), She asked why I’d taken it upon myself to memorize it. I had to explain it was in a School House Rock song….
I shocked church with my ‘math skills’ when they were asking how many seconds in a minute, minutes in an hour, hours in a day, days in a year, now how about minutes in a year - and I call out five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes without pausing to think, cos Rent
Once aced a religion class pop quiz that asked me to list all of Jacob’s sons since they’re the names of the 12 tribes of Israel. The one and only time I’ve been thankful for Andrew Lloyd Webber. I even got points for getting the birth order correct.
me @ every self-righteous STEM major who derides the arts: art IS learning you fool! you baboon! you needlessly divisive motherfucker!!!
hi i’m tolkien here are my ocs. i call them Elves (not elfs!!! if you call them elfs i will block you) they look like humans but they’re tall, live forever, and have pointy ears. that’s it bye
cs lewis: are you alright with constructive criticism? i dont want to sound mean
tolkien: no go ahead i want to hear it
cs lewis: they fucking suck
tolkien: thats not constructive criticism
cs lewis: here’s my OC, it’s jesus but he’s a lion tolkien: Furry cs lewis: blocked
cs lewis: i put you in my book you’re a fairly significant character
tolkien: i based my tree OC off of you
tolkien: good fantasy can’t have things like street lamps in them it would’t make sense
cs lewis:
please stop reblogging sylvia plath poetry
For ppl asking why she’s an anti black, anti Semite. She has used the n word and compared her depression to the holocaust
Even not counting her poetry her private journals are full of disgusting, overblown antisemitism. She didn’t just use Jewish people for her metaphors, she outright hated them irl and yet decided to use their suffering for her own gain
here’s a source with some quotes
okay, I’m Jewish and I appreciate this sentiment. and if someone wants to cut out Sylvia Plath, go for it, I get it.
But. by this logic we’d also need to stop reblogging TS Eliot, Oscar Wilde, and Shakespeare quotes. Virginia Woolf wrote anti-semetic things in her private journals, too. If you only want to read classic poets who liked Jews and black people, that’s fine, but like. good luck? Sylvia Plath isn’t an exception.
idk. Tumblr’s attitude of “consume nothing problematic” just doesn’t work if you’re part of a group that most culture-creators over the last few centuries have hated by default. For people actually in those groups, it’s not like the only two choices are 1) worship authors who hate you or 2) completely cut the majority of literature out of your life. You learn to read critically and acknowledge flaws where you find them.
anyway, as a Jewish woman, I would much rather see a version of this post that said “please read Sylvia Plath poetry critically because she’s anti black and antisemetic” than just “stop reblogging Sylvia Plath poetry.”
IMO, reblog Sylvia Plath all you want, just not unthinkingly.
I’m reblogging this now because I’m seeing anti-Virginia Woolf discourse lately due to the antisemitism in her journals and like… as a Jewish person who loves Virginia Woolf’s writing and an English teacher who knows that pretty much every writer of the classics is Problematic just…chill pls
The point isn’t to never consume media that isn’t ideologically pure. That’s never the point. Were that the goal, we would NEVER be able to consume any media. Nothing is ever ideologically pure, especially as time goes on and our social consciousness expands.
We should be telling people instead, “Be critical as you read this person’s work. They held bigoted views. Understand how that is reflected in their work, and be mindful of it. Be critical, be thoughtful”
Compelling others to not engage with something at ALL on ideological grounds is in the same vein as burning books. We should be compelling others to be critical and mindful, not narrow and willfully ignorant.
“Understand how it is reflected in their work, and be mindful of it.”
Wow Tumblr has finally grown up. Love to see it.
Me irl
IF YOURE AN ENGLISH SPEAKER HERES SOMETHING YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW:
IN THE ORIGINAL ITALIAN, DANTE'S INFERNO RHYMES. THE ENTIRE THING.
THE ENTIRE DIVINE COMEDY RHYMES.
HEARING MY ITALIAN PROFESSOR READ THE FIRST CANTO OUT LOUD IN THE ORIGINAL ITALIAN WAS A FORMATIVE EXPERIENCE FOR ME.
I COULDNT UNDERSTAND A WORD OF WHAT WAS BEING SAID BUT EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE ROOM WAS HIT WITH THE SUDDEN AND INTENSE FEELING THAT THE PERSON WHO WROTE THESE WORDS WAS A MASTER OF THEIR LANGUAGE.
IT IS FAIR TO CALL THE DIVINE COMEDY TRANSCENDANT IN ITS BEAUTY.
* not just rhyme its uhmm all lines have 11 syllabes and it rhymes like ABA BCB CDC etc etc etc for EVER very good
ITS A POETIC FORM CALLED TEZRA RIMA THAT IS FAMOUSLY DIFFICULT TO USE WELL
AND MOST ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS DO KEEP VERY CLOSE TO THE ORIGINAL 11 SYLLABLE METER
NEVERMIND POST CANCELLED
NOTES OF THIS POST:
50% AWESTRUCK ENGLISH SPEAKERS
40% BAFFLED ITALIANS
9% PEOPLE WHO DONT UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RHYME AND VERSE
1% HUMAN PET GUY
Just remember. There is no such thing as a fake geek girl. There are only fake geek boys. Science fiction was invented by a woman.
Specifically a teenage girl. You know, someone who would be a part of the demographic that some of these boys are violently rejecting.
Isaac Asimov.
yo mary shelley wrote frankenstein in 1818 and isaac asimov was born in 1920 so you kinda get my point
If you want to push it back even further Margaret Cavendish, the duchess of Newcastle (1623-1673) wrote The Blazing World in 1666, about a young woman who discovers a Utopian world that can only be accessed via the North Pole - oft credited as one of the first scifi novels
Women have always been at the forefront of literature, the first novel (what we would consider a novel in modern terms) was written by a woman (Lady Muraskai’s the Tale of Genji in the early 1000s) take your snide “Isaac Asimov” reblogs and stick it
even in terms of male scifi authors, asimov was predated by Jules Verne, HG Wells, George Orwell, you could have even cited Poe or Jonathan Swift has a case but Asimov?
PbbBFFTTBBBTBTTBBTBTTT so desperate to discredit the idea of Mary Shelly as the mother of modern science fiction you didn’t even do a frickin google search For Shame
And if you want to go back even further, the first named, identified author in history was Enheduanna of Akkad, a Sumerian high priestess.
Kinda funny, considering this Isaac Asimov quote on the subject:
Mary Shelley was the first to make use of a new finding of science which she advanced further to a logical extreme, and it is that which makes Frankenstein the first true science fiction story.
Even Isaac Asimov ain’t having none of your shit, not even posthumously.
You know what else was invented by women? Masked vigilantes, the precursor to the modern superhero. Baroness Emma Orczy wrote The Scarlet Pimpernel in 1905. The character would later inspire better known masked vigilantes such as Zorro and Batman.
Got that?
Stick that in your international pipe and smoke it
I have literally been telling people this for over a year.
the first extended prose piece - ie a novel, was not, as many male scholars will shout, Don Quixote (1605) but The Tale of Genji (1008) written by a woman
The first autobiography ever written in English is also attributed to a woman, The Book of Margery Kempe (1430s).
The day may come when I find this post and do not reblog it, but it is not this day.
Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is
Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.
His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.
gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther
#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"
tired: legolas took gimli to valinor with him because they were bffs/in love/etc.
wired: legolas took gimli to valinor to prove the world was flat after arguing with him about it for decades
Sorry it’s what to elves
So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth). But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven. To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk. So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.
This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.
Legolas said fuck the horizon
I’m having a crisis around this LotR knowledge I didn’t have until now, in the year of chaos, 2020
William Shakespeare’s been dead for 404 slutty, slutty years
The Hunger Games, Actual Teen style!
On the left, 15-year-old Josh Hutcherson.
On the right, 16-year-old Jennifer Lawrence.
Think how much creepier it would be to see them killing other kids when they look so squishy-cheeked and little.
“Think how much creepier it would be to see them killing other kids when they look so squishy-cheeked and little.”
THAT’S THE POINT SUZANNE COLLINS WAS TRYING TO MAKE
Think about these cute squishy kids being forced into a romance in order to survive
And the threat of these cute squishy kids being forced into prostitution after the games are over.
REBLOGGING THIS AGAIN WITH A REMINDER THAT FINNICK WAS 14 WHEN HE WAS REAPED/WON THE GAMES AND WAS FORCED INTO PROSTITUTION SOON AFTERWARD
wait the kids were forced into prostitution after they won???
Some of the Victors were, especially if they were attractive to lots of rich people during the games. How do you think you pay off the parachute things people send you to help you win the game? Those books were so fucked up
That’s why I feel like actual teens should have been cast in the movie. It would have hammered in the message of the books so much more.
And if they had cast actual teenages, I’m sure they wouldn’t have focus so much on romance in the films. They would have focus on the horror of the hunger games, like they damn well should have.
The hunger game movies are the exact thing the hunger game books was trying to warn us about
Just going to add in a few other things that a lot of people seem to miss because it was either de-emphasized or cut entirely from the movies:
-Haymitch Abernathy was 16 when he won the Hunger Games, and the Capitol attempted to force him into prostitution as they did with Finnick and many other popular victors. He refused, and in retaliation, they gradually killed off everyone he loved one by one—his friends from home, his family, his girlfriend. He began drinking heavily at a young age to deal with the trauma of the Games, the loss of everyone he’d ever cared about, and subsequently having to continually relive the trauma of the Games in mentoring roughly 50 children, two each year, whom he’d then have to send to their deaths in the Arena.
-The Capitol also attempted to force Joanna Mason into prostitution. She, too, refused, and like with Haymitch, the Capitol retaliated by killing off everyone she loved one by one. She alludes to this in both the book and the movie version of Catching Fire, not flinching when she enters the Jabberjay area of the arena because there’s “no one left” that she loves. The movies don’t really explore this, though, while the books do more exploration both with everything the Capitol has taken from her and the lingering effects of her PTSD from her imprisonment by the Capitol.
-The only reason Peeta and Katniss weren’t forced into prostitution was because the Capitol was too invested in the “Star-Crossed Lovers from District 12″ narrative.
-Also, Katniss spent the latter half of her first Hunger Games deaf in one ear and had to have her middle and inner ear reconstructed after the Games—the explosion at the Cornucopia permanently fucked up her hearing in that ear. She’s able to hear again after the surgeries but never quite the same.
-And Peeta had a prosthetic leg! He was severely injured while fleeing the “Mutts” at the end of the Games and was bleeding out from his leg by the time he and Katniss reached the Cornucopia. Katniss gave him a tourniquet using one of her last two arrows to tighten it. Doing so saved his life, but by the time the Capitol doctors took them out of the arena, the leg was beyond saving and had to be amputated. Katniss finds this out in their “post-Games” interview with Cesar Flickerman.
-Just generally the movies glossed over or completely cut a lot of characters whose experiences in the games left them physically disabled (Katniss’s partial deafness and Peeta’s lost leg being cut entirely, Beetee’s spinal damage from the forcefield leaving him wheelchair-bound being largely kinda glossed over) or with PTSD (Katniss and Peeta’s PTSD isn’t really explored that much, Joanna’s PTSD is pretty much skipped over entirely, Annie’s barely in the movies at all, Haymitch’s entire backstory is cut, the fact that Finnick is basically just constantly putting on a show and barely holding it together under the surface isn’t ever really explored, pretty much all of the addiction subplots including Haymitch attempting to quit drinking and Katniss starting to drink at one point and everything related to morphling are cut…).
-Basically as “rough” as the movies are they sanitized the FUCK out of the Hunger Games and the world surrounding them, and that’s…not a good thing.
TL;DR: @isashi-nigami is completely correct, The hunger game movies are the exact thing the hunger game books was trying to warn us about.
Two things:
The only reason Katniss and Peeta were saved from prostitution was timing. After their own Games, the rumblings of rebellion had really started to gain traction. All victors have to do a celebratory circuit of all the Districts, but Peeta and Katniss’s celebration circuit was being used by Snow as a “everything’s fine, please don’t rebel, we’re just a pair of teenagers in live” prop tool for Snow to try and supress the rebellion. Peeta and Katniss were much more useful to him as teens in love than they were as prostitutes. Then we went straight from there to the 75th Games, in which Peeta and Katniss were fighters. Between being used to quell a revolution and having the Quarter Quell go the way it did, there was no time for Snow to loan them out to people. But had the timing been different – had there been no rebellion or had Peeta and Katniss not been central to it or had it all been delayed long enough for the post-games celebrations to die out, then yeah, they would have been sold to the highest bidder just like Finnick was.
I actually thibk that the fact that the film’s focussed on the romance and the glitz and glamour and etc was… accidentally clever, on Hollywood’s part. They certainly didn’t mean to do this, but they 100% replicated the Capitol’s attitude to the Games. They made it all about the entertainment, all about the story and the romance and the drama. So many people would have watched those movies and been taken in by the romance plot, and the revolutionary plot would have been secondary. The social commentary wouldn’t have even registered. Even the fact that they used older actors for the teens – in the books, Katniss and Peeta are never seen in public without a full face of make up once they’re Reaped. Katniss undergoes a full beauty treatment and not only is she wearing make up that makes her look older and more mature, but so is Peeta. The Capitol didn’t want them looking like fresh faced babies, and neither did Hollywood. If you watch those films merely for the entertainment they provide, then congrats. You’re the canon target audience of the Hunger Games. Hollywood was never going to make a movie that focuses on the true horrors of such a story, the way it should. Especially when the social commentary in the Hunger Games is terrifyingly similar to a social commentary on our society as a whole. No, no - they were always going to focus on the romance and the glitz and the glamour and the heroism. Which is……. kind of poetic, really. That they went and did the exact same thing that the villains did.
The Hunger Games movies are amazing and fantastic but the books are still 10x more fucked up.
Not to mention the capitol children Katniss saw killed and later mutilated. The avox that comforted her. Peetas desperation to hold on to his identity, the erasure of the idea that families can add their kids name more times into the reaping in exchange for food, the two women who Katniss finds in the woods looking for District 13. The corruption and propaganda of District 13. Johannas trauma with water and her inability to fight because of it.
The best part of the book IMO was Finnick exposing Snow in his interview. The prostitution, poison, corruption. All of it. And how he was forced into sexual exploitation in order to protect his mentally ill girlfriend
Hello, I’m auditioning for the role of Montresor and I’ll be singing “Another Brick In the Wall” by Pink Floyd.
kidz bop cask of amontillado
Me and friend have a running gag of calling root beer “amontillado” because of Poe and we’re always “Hey come over, I have amontillado”
ie: I have root beer
Or “Bring amontillado to dinner tonight”
Now, one of my biggest fears is going to a resteraunt and ordering Amontillado like an idiot. But, the good news is they probably have some in their basement
kidz bop cask of amontillado
i’m sorry but that caption had me wheezing for a good couple of minutes holy shit