Jingling Miserably

Just a poor fool trying to jape through this bitch of an earth Sara/30/bi/absolutely inconsolable

[bingles-the-fool]

Time for another phone refresh. Will relegate tumblr to big computer, so see you around sporadically

[botccher]

probably gonna go through some weird and unknown phase of my life soon

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[amateur-climber-pro-shitposter]

Every year The Internet Archive hosts a competion to make art using newly public domain materials, and I've been losing my mind at this submission:

https://archive.org/details/555-milf-tar/

[catgurltreats]

Adam Sandler: So here's my pitch. There's this guy, average guy, kind of a loser, stays upbeat, his only real flaw is that he's a child at heart and doesn't hide it

Me: Ok Adam. This is fresh as fuck every time

Adam: And one day, he meets this beautiful blonde, and she doesn't really respect him. But he KNOWS there's a connection, and there must be something wrong that she doesn't see it

Me: Adam you're blowing my fucking mind this is untouched territory for you

Adam: So the guy crosses a few lines, yaknow? He steps over the line a little bit but it's for love, right? So it's cool. He solves the problem with social heroics, stays persistent and even though things get rough he wins her heart

Me: Yesssss this is literal gold Adam this is ingots

Adam: And I'm thinking, like, who we can get to play the guy?

Me: I think we both know just the guy

Adam: You don't think it's weird that the awkward everyman hero with a heart of gold is me again?

Me: Adam. Hand on heart bro. I couldn't care less

Adam: I'm so glad. You're my rock

Me: Can I borrow another $10,000

[littleguysdaily]

[sevendurst-deactivated20241019]

distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save m

[butterflypeaflowertea]

feeling this old mitski tweet so hard lately

[realfootage]

[lolt64]

i just showed an ant the truth and it popped like a firecracker

[hungwy]

holy shit all jobs are bad

[johannestevans]

I love when household beasts are like whoa. You were gonna piss all on your own? No backup or companionship or anything? Babe. I got you. I'm right here. You don't have to be alone during this difficult time (pissing), and you won't be. Ever. This is not a discussion.

[dreadwedge]

i will be 96 years old one day and i will still treat a 92 year old like a child when they tell me they were born in 2001. my millennium advantage

[noelledeltarune]

i hope i am not just an online presence to you all but also someone who has a really bad headache

[mobydyke]

harry du bois steps up to the lectern in front of the crowd. "as a lesbian...." he pauses, looks at kim questioningly. kim shakes his head imperceptibly. harry looks back at the audience "...supporter"

[lazarus-lazuli]

i have no comment this is just the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all day

[pitchburgh]

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

[pitchburgh]

you should also be able to do this to job listings