BirdieBirdie @birdiebeauty - Tumblr Blog

This isn't very hard when you know some of the most genius strategies in human history were incredibly stupid, circumstantial events that led to victory by sheer luck of that strategy working.

Case in point: Tsun Zu's rival defended a city with 10 men against Tsun's army of hundreds by disarming his own soldiers, dressing them in plain clothes, INVITING Tsun's army to come in, and it only worked because Tsun knew the guy was an ambush master and thought "if we attack the city he's inviting us into, we will die." and left without even trying ON THE BASIS OF HIS RIVAL'S REPUTATION AND NOTHING MORE

Another example: Tsun Zu, on being told his soliders were out of arrows during a battle against a city across a river from them, had his men craft scarecrows, put them on a boat, send it out on a line, leave it there for half an hour, then pull it back in and used the arrows the enemy had fired at the boat to restock their own ammunition. It only worked because it was foggy and the enemy couldn't tell the difference between the scarecrows and actual soldiers.

Stupid things like that work INCREDIBLY WELL if the circumstances favor them, so you really don't need to come up with some multi-layered, Shikamaru-esque strategy. You just need to come up with a strategy you like for the characters involved, then write the circumstances (weather, environment, individuals involved) to favor it enough that it works.

weaselle

unlike real life when writing you can always work backwards, too, which negates the need for genius (tho, like, normal smart helps)

so you can start with a thing like "nobody would expect an attack from underneath the castle!" and then design your castle with :

feature that allows this (catacombs from before the ancient cathedral was renovated into a full blown castle)

reason nobody would expect it (the renovators sealed off the catacombs, current occupants don't know the catacombs exist)

genius reason Our Great Hero thinks to make use of this (his common sense but deeply insightful assessment causes him to question where the rain water drains from the multiple terraced courtyards and grand balconies (the renovators did leave a drainage system that exits via the catacombs, which works so well that the current occupants never had reason to wonder about water drainage)

one or two additional things that help make it genius (Our Hero knows the castle used to belong to the original cathedral people, some of whom still live nearby and are bitter about losing the castle to the current occupants)

optional: additional improvised stroke of genius during the event (Our Hero finds current occupants legendary un-beatable foe [previous occupant's great grandfather] interred in catacombs and leads the invasion of the castle dressed as said legendary foe in his very recognizable armor that has clearly been sitting in a crypt for a hundred years.)

Note: the thing that makes this genius is that it succeeds, btw, so you write that everybody falls for it. If everybody saw through it right away, nobody would think it was genius, which is sort of how it works in real life too, there's a kind of survivor bias in the way we see strategic genius

anarqueeen

The heros journey keeps trying to get me but ive been unloading an entire clip of 9mm into every mentor that tries to teach me anything. Ive killed 7 wizards this way.

fjordojustice

Refusal of the Call

anarqueeen

GET AWAY FROM ME

cozycryptidcorner

official-monsterfucker-posts

Official Monsterfucker Post.

cloacacarnage

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

futureblackwakandan-deactivated

Wtf????

theryanproject

Smoove with it too

meqabitch-deactivated20200901

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters.

bankuei

“Pathetic. You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

pardonmewhileipanic

reminds me of this gif

sueanoi

batter-sempai

Baseball players are to be feared

cynosurecosplay

thenamesdede

Reblogging for the last one

saito-91

^Same for me

amuzed1-deactivated20241106

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

scp2008

much woah

lord-blongus

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

cleoselene-deactivated20260315

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

birdiebeauty

How can people think baseball is boring, like seriously.

cloacacarnage

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

futureblackwakandan-deactivated

Wtf????

theryanproject

Smoove with it too

meqabitch-deactivated20200901

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters.

bankuei

“Pathetic. You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

pardonmewhileipanic

reminds me of this gif

sueanoi

batter-sempai

Baseball players are to be feared

cynosurecosplay

thenamesdede

Reblogging for the last one

saito-91

^Same for me

amuzed1-deactivated20241106

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

scp2008

much woah

lord-blongus

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

cleoselene-deactivated20260315

luke-naberrie

farage may have won the byelection, as we all expected, but it's still very much a pyrrhic victory imo.

even in the constituency he specifically chose for the high proportion of magic bean and bridge buyers, he still only got 62.82% of the vote. count binface got 26.71% of the vote, meaning that over a quarter of people in his specifically chosen constituency looked at farage and decided to vote for the talking bin. congrats, mate, you beat a bin.

his credibility has also been damaged. he's spent his summer essentially arguing with a bin in a vanity circus that's cost the taxpayer £250,000. he can't say he beat 'the establishment' because the main parties didn't turn up. he refused to stand on the stage with everyone else and go to the declaration, and also lied about the police telling him not to go. the entire thing has exposed just how shit of a politician he really is and how shit his party is.

and at the end of all this, the investigation into him is still going to continue. there will likely be another byelection called, meaning another £250,000 is going to be wasted in the coming months.

what a loser lmao. at least the count got his deposit back this time.

libraford

A mole found its way into our house somehow and our cat has NO IDEA what to do about it.

libraford

Come to think of it, I also have no idea what to do about it.

libraford

If we're being really honest, the mole was also unclear of her motives, so I think we were all a bit confused.

lakemichiganbaby-deactivated202

“i do not dream of labor” yes u do. labor is fulfilling. u dream of a world where ur labor isnt exploited and its that or starvation. i guarantee u dream of labor. labor is a necessity and in and of itself is a good thing.

lakemichiganbaby-deactivated202

if u dream of having a garden, of painting murals, cooking or baking for people, researching in a lab, or writing stories, u dream of labor. which is good! we all jus hate having our labor exploited and being underpaid for the value of our work. nobody wants to just sit at home and do NOTHING as quarantine proved! in and of itself labor is fulfilling and contributes to the betterment and advancement of society, too many people are just barred by arbitrary divides (class, education) and unable to perform labor they’d be best suited for, or that type of labor (arts, service industry) is undervalued and underpaid.

what-even-is-thiss

I’ve never tamed a cat before in Minecraft and apparently they sleep in your bed with you if you let them follow you around which is so adorable

prince-ashen-forest

you can tame the cats?

birdiebeauty

You've gotta chase them around like a madman trying to shove fish in their mouth, but yeah. They'll also bring you gifts sometimes while you sleep.

apollos-boyfriend

i hope people know that the “sad tomato cat” meme is a series of images that have a happy ending…… she is cared for and loved!!!!

apollos-boyfriend

to be loved is to be changed………

aphractal2

physical manifestations of health bar?

birdiebeauty

Reminds me of a like, shitty old dinosaur game where your health bar was a heart tattoo on your boobs, so that the devs could get away with half the gameplay being staring down at your characters boobs.

1dietcokeinacan

I’m sorry WHEN did he do this

1dietcokeinacan

Screeeeeching

sawed-on-shotgun

I have been in multiple situations where a friend group I'm not so familiar with starts making jokes about being into weirdo pervert stuff and there is a slight edge of competition to who is The Most Freakish I know for a goddamn fact that I have everyone beat in the pervert department but I can't say anything because they're probably just talking about light BDSM at most and I like things that are complete social suicide in 90% of spaces

sawed-on-shotgun

like oh when you like puppyplay and choking its subversive and edgy but when I talk about getting my sexual awakening at 8 years old from the really fucking weird plant vore sequence in the third ice age movie it's WEIRD and EMBARRASSING i see how it is,

sawed-on-shotgun

oh so this post stops getting notes when I make that addition, i see how it is,

bisexual-engineer-girl

reading books about people dying in marine disasters around that age had me feeling some....funny things

overseer-picard

Star Trek has always had phenomenal makeup but my word, look at the detail here. The seam, the little wires barely visible, the glint of metal, the fact that Brent's actual skin looks like it's the fake part, it's just insane. And not even a drop of CGI used.