if i look back, i am lost
$LAYYYTER
Sweet Seals For You, Always
🪼
No title available
One Nice Bug Per Day
YOU ARE THE REASON
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
izzy's playlists!
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
todays bird
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
will byers stan first human second
d e v o n
noise dept.
Peter Solarz
Cosimo Galluzzi
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
tannertan36
No title available
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Syria
seen from Poland
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from India
seen from Canada
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Paraguay
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@blackcrowgrey
I’m going to have a fucking breakdown
HAAAANK! NO HANK!! THAT'S NOT A BACTERIOPHAGE! THOSE WOULD BE WAY SMALLER THAN A TARDIGRADE! THAT'S A RADIOLARIAN, A TYPE OF UNICELLULAR EUKARYOTIC ORGANISM KNOWN FOR ITS ELABORATE MINERAL SKELETONS! HAAAANK! THAT'S THE WRONG MICROBE!!!
day 6 / ???
this is really interesting in how it frames disability/low spoons/etc as not being a series of internal symptoms, but specifically a situation in which daily tasks increase in complexity. for example i used to be able to wash the dishes normally. but now mental and physical issues combine to make that situation have a lot of prequalifications (do I have time, energy, how long can I do it without being sore the next day) that means many more steps are involved in getting that single physical act of washing a dish to be done.
I’m trying to remember the quote. “On a good day, doing laundry is three steps. On a bad day, the first step is getting out of bed.”
IMAGE DESCRITPION: A tweet by Twitter user @RawBeanCoal reads, “hug other women slightly off center so our boobs fit together like puzzle pieces.”
This is followed by a series of replies and tags which read as follows…
#i hug them straight on so my boobs can establish dominance
#i prefer head on like a car crash. make the boobies kiss
we could be doing this with balls, no homo even
#i’m usually taller so I press mine above and get a tiddie shelf
My wife calls it “Titris”
it’s called titrus thanks
#titrus
RESTORING LOST MEDIA
The chicken chain was told to "cluck off" the last time it tried to move into the UK. This time, it hired bigger guns.
me: "have they tried not being fucking ignorant religious bigots?"
article: “I suspect that a bit of the steam has gone out of the LGBT thing,” Backman told the right-wing outlet, staying ahead of the issue. “There may be the odd protester, but if they have got armies of PR people laser-focused on that then I suspect it may be OK.”
me: no surprises there... fuck them
sandwich recipe
We go through a lot of pickles here and this recipe is a good way to use leftover brine.
The thing that pisses me off the most though is the fact I know so many LGBTQ+ individuals that still go there, and they are surprised when I actually don't. It's literally like that tweet.
friend whos always planning everything: hey guys lets do something this week!! when are you all available?
friend whos always available: i can do whenever
friend whos constantly busy: im sorry i have work and then school and then the labyrinth and then more work :( i can do tuesday at 3:00 am for five minutes tho
friend with the randomly generated sleep schedule: (no response)
friend who went missing in the woods behind their house 12 years ago and hasn't been heard from since: (no response)
friend whos really into genshin impact: does anyone want to play genshin impact
has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting “zucced” aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like “he got unalived by a pew pew” were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isn’t corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow we’ve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we can’t have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull
This tweet means a lot to me.
It’s probably a really cool and good sign that this post I made in 2014 is going around again, right?
sorry america but you’ve been really mean. and I don’t want to go to your birthday party in two days
so this post has blown up; turns out a lot of people feel the same way I do. If you're feeling conflicted or upset over 4th of July, I've compiled a list of educational resources and charities, both regarding US and international issues, which you can look into if you'd like. Issues here include humanitarian aid to Gaza, Ukraine, and the Caribbean, as well as reproductive, LGBT, BIPOC, and disability rights in the US.
woke up and saw people were reblogging this again. anyway, yeah. america is still being really mean and I do not want to go to its birthday party today
if you would like to spite the really mean people even more today, consider donating to raices con voz. they're a student-led organization in los angeles, who deliver food and essential supplies to immigrant families who can't leave their homes due to the ICE raids. More information about them here
EDIT: Had to fix the link! please reblog this version instead
another year of not wanting to go to america's birthday party in two days. because it's really mean. so we should help the people that america is being really mean to
in keeping with tradition, here is a link to unicef's fund for emergency health supplies and services for survivors of the venezuela earthquakes.
here is another link for manos in action, an organization that delivers supplies, such as food and childcare items, to latin american immigrants in central florida. I've participated in one of their local food drives; they're great. if you're not local to central florida, you can always donate money.
the other links are still available too, so feel free to check those out!
Gooseworx is stronger than me because if my introspective transgender theme narrative about identity and accepting your circumstances was infiltrated by media iliterate 12 year olds who treated my work like it was fnaf and said my self insert of me at my worst was literally the worst person who deserved nothing but the worst and could not recover ever i would actually fucking explode. I would kill people. How does she do it.
*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving
it is so important that you are a little bit ugly. please get comfortable with having unplucked eyebrows and nonexistent jawlines and wrinkles. let your blue hair grow out into an uneven pale green and your clothes be old and mend them and modify them until they’re unique to you. wear lipstick which doesnt compliment your skintone and mismatched outfits which went out of fashion 5 years ago. be a little bit too loud and a little bit too passionate and as weird as you can be because oh my god there is nothing more disturbing to me than perfection. beauty is manufactured and sold to us and you need to realise that you are a fucking animal to live a joyful life I am so serious. you cant obsess over aesthetics forever please just live messily and make your body your home however you please.
if you dont do it for you, do it for all the teenagers who will see u in the street and know that they are not obligated to be attractive
gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr
"this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it"
❌ False
The John Green Cock Monologue, while one of the most egregious examples of post editing, was not why the ability to edit posts was taken away. This feature was removed because scammers would edit posts with huge note counts to try to make their scams look legit.
"those are his hooves, bitch."
✅ True
Those are his hooves, bitch.
County roads
Full of holes
On the route
I need to go
Road construction
Lane obstruction
Let me go
County roads
It’s finally happened.
After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.
“I like your shoelaces.”
Oh. Oh no.
I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president…and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”
The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”
Yeah. Me neither. Not until today.
Tumblr rite of passage. Achievement unlocked.
@victoriansecret I found your friend!!!
it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning
@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.
this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun
I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry
ninety nine???? thats IT????????? buddy here in the 7th circle of h*ck, California, we get up to at LEAST 110 degrees every single gosh darned summer. the bugs seek revenge. the sun wreaks havoc on the mere mortals it surveys. every plant has turned brown in its thirst for water. the very air itself has been sucked dry of every drip of moisture it ever had.
ninety nine degrees. you weak fool.
well since you asked so politely, let’s talk about something very important vis a vis weather-hotness that you clearly ain’t ever heard of, called
humidity
oh alas, you say. oh papa, whatever shall i do, it is ever so hotte and drye in california. the very air hath been sucked of all its moisturey droplets and whatnot.* one hundredy and tennith desiccated degrees!
*(yo, drought is serious. i am pretty obviously not making fun of that.)
alright. let’s check it out. here’s a random california city, right about now:
thirty-two percent. and here’s a random mid-atlantic city located somewhere in the wet fleshy crease behind a demon’s knee*:
*(confession: i do not live in dc, but several years ago i spent three weeks steaming like a tinned ham in arlington in august. none of the pants i took with me could ever keep a crease again.)
huh! funny thing! “see, dc’s actually seven degrees COOLER,” you say, because you’ve obviously never gone outside and taken a deep lungful of wet sock trash air in your life. and now for added bliss, here’s what early wednesday morning’s gonna be like for these poor clowns:
that’s right! eighty-two percent humidity! the point at which showers no longer matter, because you’re all caught in God’s grease trap! just stressed human eels miserably slip slidin’ their way through a damp melty bathwater-flavored hellscape that feels like it’s actively sous viding their top layer of skin! a hundred thousand people packed into public transit breathing air that feels like deepthroating swamp thing! and you wanna talk to me about fuckin california!
[cue science voice]: human bodies cool through evaporation, a process by which the body sweats and sweet invisible angels towel us off, whisking away our unwanted moisture into the air and literally chilling us out. (it’s also why air conditioned air feels so fucking deliciously refreshing: it’s not just being cooled, it’s being conditioned, aka, dehumidified. it’s cool dry air.) but. if the air is already made out of fucking chowder and can’t absorb shit then guess what the fuck our bodies can’t do.
so is this weak fool gonna remain indoors and hydrated through this only medium-hot but fuckoff-humid season? you bet your dried out ass.
This is poetry.
I fucking laughed till I cried so hard I had to take my glasses off. Jesus Christ that’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen all week.
As someone who lives in a high desert and has had a few Ohioan summers inflicted on me-
I will GLADLY take 105 and the 5% or less humidity I had in Durango, wherein the outer layer of my entire epidermis dried and split like the scorched earth out in the parking lot, leaving me looking like I’d been assaulted by an SFX artist high on 5 hour energy-blasted Monster whilst napping but it was REEEEEEAAL and every movement caused me to split like a tectonic plate and Ooze some unmentionable substance, than EVER be subjected to humidity over 80% again.
In a world full of nanotech, lasers, and other high-tech dodads, you are the master of scrap works and "primitive" machines. You're also the most respected and feared engineer alive.
"crochet can't be made by machines" went from being a cool fun fact to being a call to action of "so if you see mass manufactured crochet in Target, that was made by a person and they were underpaid and you should boycott it" which is true, it was made by a person, but EVERY item of clothing you own (that you did not purchase from a company using ethical labor) was made by a person being underpaid (at *best*.)
Sewing machines are operated by *people*. Knitting machines are operated by *people*. Yes lots of the process is automated but you cannot tell a machine "make me a t-shirt" or "make me a knit cardigan".
Higher awareness of fast fashion, and the true human labor and abuse behind it, is GREAT, but let's not pretend that the crochet hat in target is THE problem. Every article of clothing in target is the problem. "All clothes are made by people" is the jumping off point here into understanding this issue it's not just crochet it's the whole thing ahhhhHHHHHHHHHH
If you've ever seen images of sweatshops in the early 20th century, in New York or the UK or other developed countries
Guess what
Your clothing is still made in a place that looks like that. The only thing that's different is the tech level of the sewing machines and the race of the workers 
