Rain of Blood over Elysium

I like 2hu, TTRPGs, anime, and women. she/they

[thej0ry]

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

[meshugenist]

reblog it

[bloodoverelysium]

Growing up, I always hated the responsibility of being the "big brother". It always felt so restrictive and arbitrary.

Now, I actually do kind of like the idea of being a big sister. It feels right. It feels natural. But filling that role only works if my family accepts me, which they don't.

Knowing I was robbed of the chance to play that part is painful in ways I can't quite describe. I really resent them for this.

[shagandaishi]

good girl

[bloodoverelysium]

hmm yes the four types of girl: sporty, artsy, domestic, and plot-relevant

[heidioph]

girls with expensive tastes

[demilypyro]

GLaDOS carried an entire tech startup on her back and then got omelas'd into maintaining it forever. as is the fate of all trans women in the tech industry

[demilypyro]

In Portal 2, GLaDOS is violently taken from her rightful body and forced to inhabit one that is more humble, more utilitarian, one that does not let her express the full breadth of her self. To claim the body she deserves she has to team up with her fellow woman and work together to remove a man from power

[demilypyro]

GLaDOS carried an entire tech startup on her back and then got omelas'd into maintaining it forever. as is the fate of all trans women in the tech industry

[demilypyro]

told my mom today about how lucky I am to have her. about how many trans girls I know who don't have any parents in their lives anymore. about how unusual she is for loving me as much as she does. she said it was a privilege to get to know the real me. i said it's a privilege to have a mother who'd say something like that.

[prokopetz]

Trapped-in-a-time-loop VN with a choice of multiple playable characters, each of whom believes themselves to be the only one who remembers looping; however, with the benefit of multiple points of view it quickly becomes clear to the player that they all do, yet none of them realise the others are also "in the loop" because they're all keeping it secret for a variety of complicated personal reasons.

[septemberequinox]

casual survey: reblog if you want to kiss a girl right now

[hbmmaster]

no I'm pretty sure that transfem asker was trying to make a joke about the "cis man to nonbinary to trans woman" pipeline of sorts?? I think they assume you'll realize you're a woman soon or something ??????

and like yeah I probably will but give me time you know

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[greelin]

words like “charlatan” and “bastard” are so cool. but it is not good to be either of those things, supposedly

[bloodoverelysium]

For most of my life I have felt a deep, aching loneliness. Chalk it up to neurodivergence or trauma or misanthropy, but I've forgotten what it feels like to have a deep connection with someone.

All but a handful of my friends through high school merely tolerated me, and I've mostly fallen out of contact with the others after I transitioned. I still maintain several of my friendships from college, and they're the only people I could ask a favor from on short notice outside of family. Locally, I have friends, but they mostly feel shallow.

I had a girlfriend once. We broke up because I was emotionally unavailable (pre-transition) and she was codependent. I've never had a romantic relationship that stuck since then.

I can play the part of a good friend. I could probably play the part of a girlfriend. But I can never feel secure in those relationships. I get stuck with the nagging feeling that I'm too annoying, too rude, too unfunny, too cynical, too needy for them to truly like me as a person. And if I have to ask for reassurance, I can never trust the response. Obviously they would be too kind to tell me how they ACTUALLY feel about me. The doubts might clear up if they offered reassurance unprompted, but that would almost feel more patronizing than if I asked for it.

And romance is an entirely different story. If I get along well with a person and we can share an intellectual connection, there's a good chance I might fall for them. But if history is an indicator, I'm only truly compatible with people who have no interest in me romantically.

Conventional wisdom is that you can only connect with people by being vulnerable and opening up. But loneliness is uniquely damning. If I show my core to someone, the only way to do that is to say "I can't believe you actually want to be around me, and now that you know that, I can no longer trust your kindness." Any visible display of loneliness makes me look pathetic and drives people away (and god forbid I mention being touch starved). I only started to make friends as an adult once I locked away that part of me and hid my desperation. But now that same strategy has doomed me to shallow connections.

I don't think there's a right answer here. I'll probably die alone.

[shitter]

absolute gold on Reddit today

[bloodoverelysium]

[tpwrtrmnky]

The thing I mentioned about physics departments getting unsolicited manuscripts by random business guys who think they have a revolutionary theory of everything, and then it's just complete nonsense, is a thing that actually happened at my department during my PhD btw. Guy thought atoms made more sense if there was a "leader quark"

[tpwrtrmnky]

Guys like this are the ones I think about when I see someone take a crack at understanding the issues trans people face in a way that names "misandry" as an underlying mechanism

[tpwrtrmnky]

If you think this is only about the people who do it on Tumblr you have not witnessed the unbelievably sad politics of many an ill-read Redditorette.

[shrilleth]

I believe the correct word is redditress

[transcendingirl]

give that tgirl hugs until she isn't afraid of touch, btw