A note for those who have trouble measuring butter with a spoon as I do: one cup I am sixteen tablespoons. Butter/margarine bricks are usually a half a cup, so just cut one eighth of that amount
These are really good! And yes, for the love of god, if you have it use white sugar and brown sugar, add just a pinch of salt, and as many chocolate chips as you darn well please. Great with icecream, whipped cream on top, or a tall glass of milk (keep in mind you gotta eat it with a spoon, you can’t dip it in milk)
When I say I want Shane and Ilya to retire at the same time, I mean the exact same time. As in after their last game ever, there is a five minute standoff as they both wait for the other to step off the ice first. "After you. No please you go first. No you. No you. You got onto the ice first Ilya. Well you were born first Hollander so you go." They eventually agree to hold hands and step off together, squeezing their big shoulders thru the small gap at the same time.
This continues into who leaves the shower first, who leaves the locker room first, who leaves the stadium first etc. They are an hour late to their retirement party.
At the risk of sounding anti-intellectual, I think that college should be free and also not a requirement for employment outside of highly specialized career fields
technically you can, if you don't care about degrees.
Free Harvard courses.
Free Courses from Stanford.
Free Courses from MIT.
Free courses from Yale.
Free courses from Princeton.
Free courses on Coursera.
Free Courses on EDx
Free Courses on Alison
For paid, there's The Great Courses+/Wonderium. 20$ a month for unlimited courses.
When searching, the phrases you're looking for are Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs), or you can do a general search of say, "free online college courses."
Oh, and so you don't get surprised like I did, have an avoid: Hillsdale College is a conservative Christian site and not a valid MOOC place. Sign up with them and you will get things like THIS IS WHY THE LEFT IS TURNING YOUR KIDS TRANS AND GAY in your inbox.
⇆Yuuta from sea glass gardens to pez dispenser debris. LET HIM SUFFER!
⇆ SLIDING DOORS: pick a character from one fic to drop into another!
It’s after the conclusion of SGG, into jjk canon territory and past it, because we’re not doing the entire Shibuya incident thing for this. Yuuta comes back from Africa to a not-destroyed life and is trying to do like, normal readjustment things after a study abroad experience, like hauling ass down a busy street after a special grade curse you spotted while just trying to get a nice relaxing cup of tea and now you’re really really hoping it lets you corral it into an unpopulated area instead of attacking willy nilly.
(The special grade curse, feeling Yuuta’s aura coming down the street: oh fuck oh god it’s the megalodon I gotta haul ass)
He runs through a crowd of children. It’s not his goal. It’s an unfortunate by product of the situation. Yuuta is cursed by the cosmos. He bumps a child. Accidentally. He is not a monster. Okay admittedly subject for debate but it was not intentional. He doesn’t know that crowd seems to have a lot going on some guys passed out he hopes he’s okay but bigger fish and whatnot.
He feels suddenly, randomly dizzy, and starts to pass out. Bigger fish and whatnot. He heals himself with RCT and carries on.
He does miss the tiny version of him appearing in a dazzling sparkle of light behind him. He. He had bigger fish. And whatnot.
Hana’s teacher, seeing Hana hit a second fucking person who keeps walking and leaves his fucking copy behind: *faints on the spot*
From Yuuta’s perspective, he felt kind of weird for the rest of the day, went back to his dorm, passed out, and woke up the next morning to Nobara trying to smother him with a pillow because there’s a photo of a tiny Okkotsu Yuuta schleping alongside newly minted global power couple Leku.
And Yuuta’s like. Okay. That might as well happen.
And he’s like. Not Ideal! He has to go get tiny him and figure out why there’s a fucking tiny him. But he missed a day. A day. How bad could this have gotten in just a day?
Anyway he goes to UA to try and collect tiny him and the police are immediately called so the answer is “very”
From Izuku and Mirio’s perspective, they were about to leave the scene and Hana’s teacher piped up with the very relevant information that there’s another fucking copy of some random guy who already took off and fuck it, this might as well be their day. They figure they can take him to UA, figure out who the guy was, and offload on him his own personalized nightmare. Simple solutions to complex problems.
Mirio, gods greatest man: hey kiddo! what’s the last thing you remember??
Baby Yuuta, eyes wide with the Horrors: my. my friend. rika. She just. She died. Her head was open and, and all over the street. And then. She. She climbed out again. Of the blood. As a monster.
Mirio, doesn’t know why he can’t have normal days: o… kay…
Frankly they just assume this kid is super traumatized by his friend’s death and not actually haunted by violent and malcontent spirits, you know, the way Izuku is, and take him back to UA so they can try to contact a family member. But baby Yuuta also comes with his own Rika. When he gets upset on school grounds, Rika lashes out. There is some violence by invisible, unstoppable forces. Lots of screaming and crying and begging for Rika to stop. Extensive property damage. Some injuries. The continued erosion of Aizawa’s sanity.
But Mirio is an enchanting presence even to violent and malcontent spirits, so Rika chills out without killing and only minor bloodshed.
Okay then! Obviously this kid is going through a lot and has an uncontrollable and powerful Quirk of his own! That, for some reason, Aizawa can’t erase. All the more reason to immediately track down who he is and get his older self to help manage this Quirk!
Anyway they run the name Okkotsu Yuuta with the birthdate Yuuta gives and it comes back to a kid who is medically Quirkless and legally dead.
Aizawa opens another criminal investigation.
I’ve decided that all jujutsu sorcerers are Quirkless and their cursed energy is an entirely separate thing. It’s some genetics overlap where they don’t get Quirks too, late the toe bones. The one who grew up in clans are entirely severed from heroics society and are only vaguely aware that Quirks exist. They mostly look down on Quirks as lesser to jujutsu sorcery. The ones who grew up outside of clans, like Nanami or Nobara, either are diagnosed as Quirkless or their technique gets mistakenly assumed to be their quirk.
By middle school Gojo just started fucking lying about Megumi’s status because he started using his technical Quirklessness as a bullying bait and he was kicking the shit out of too many people. He got expelled so many times that Gojo was running out of school districts to put him in. He managed to get expelled in 13 minutes once. Ijichi hadn’t even made it out of the parking lot yet. And Tsumiki insisted on going to the same school as him (he would do dumb shit without her there to yell at him otherwise) so now he had two kids he was going to have to home school if he didn’t figure something out, which somehow portended more violence than with Megumi having access to an entire school of victims. Gojo eventually just fucking wrote down Super Punch in his records and told Megumi to lie and say he had some kind of mild increase to physical abilities as a quirk that was really the product of his cursed energy.
Anyway you have tiny Izuku insisting he doesn’t have a quirk and this guy fucking killed and replaced him and baby Yuuta sitting next to him seeing Horrors Beyond Comprehension and whispering that Rika says she won’t let him die. They’re both living two opposite ends of the spectrum of horror movies. They trust the other implicitly as a result and are now roaming the UA campus together, causing Izuku specifically Agony. It’s a weird dynamic. Shinsou has no idea what’s going on.
Aizawa asked nedzu to figure out what the fuck was going on with this kid and why he was legally dead when there’s security camera footage of him very much alive chasing something off frame and disappearing into Tokyo backstreets and Nedzu almost immediately gets a call from the prime minister of Japan wanting to know why he was asking questions about Okkotsu Yuuta and warning him to stop digging. This delighted Nedzu. He is burrowing into this little tangle of information like a maggot into rotting flesh. He has not had this much fun in years. There have been multiple high level emergency government meetings trying to figure out what the fuck Nedzu is up to and how to stop him.
So there’s Yuuta. Unknowing. Dreading this life experience as a whole. Who is really hoping maybe he can treat this like school pick up situation and apologize for the trouble and figure out how to Get Rid Of That Thing.
However—and this is key—he goes to school with some real fucking assholes. Public humiliation is their most cherished spectator sport. And Nobara told literally all of them before she told Yuuta.
They all schlep along after him, refusing to fuck off and let him do this. Yuuta wonders why his life has to be this hard sometimes.
Megumi is there to be actually helpful, because he’s a little bit better at navigating the real world than Yuuta and Yuuta’s his favorite senpai, so he wants to be there for him. Yuuji is there for reasons of gay jealousy, because no one told him the context of sgg and all he knows is that some beautiful son of a bitch came back from Africa and suddenly Megumi was hanging out with him and they were close and people were talking about how Megumi was his boy and all he hears is about how Yuuta’s this gorgeous and perfect asshole who gets his execution suspended and the curse living inside of him resolved in a million dazzling lights and has fucking Nanami kento as his legal guardian. What do you mean he’s jealous. What. Who’s jealous. Not him.
Anyway if Megumi gets to go he doesn’t see why he doesn’t get to go too.
Everyone else went to mock Yuuta. Yuuta expected this. He does not appreciate it, but he expected this.
Anyway Yuuta goes to the intercom of the UA gates and is about four words into his shambling explanation about how their celebrity students appear to have hard launched their relationship with a tinier him stumbling beside and how he’d just sort of like him back now, please, before he’s immediately buzzed in and told to please come in and join them at the Class 3-A dorms.
Yuuta feels this is a trap, but does not see how he has another choice. He goes in.
UA security guard: do you know these people
Yuuta: no
Panda: you son of a bitch we’re raising a child together
Megumi, the child in question, has not been told this yet: I’m sorry what
Yuuta: never mind that
Yuuta enters. This is increasingly apparent to be a trap. He decides to see if they’ll just let him walk off with the kid anyway. They. Will not.
Aizawa insists they can’t release tiny him unless it’s to a guardian. Yuuta offers to leave and come back with one. Aizawa says they need the guardian to come before they can let either of them leave. Yuuta asks if this is another governmentally sanctioned kidnapping situation. Aizawa stares at him for a long time and asks what that even means.
Yuuta says it was just a joke, but no one seems to believe him.
He texts Nanami to come get him and hopes the police are not already en route and, if so, that he can convince them not to call the police.
The police are already en route.
Aizawa wants answers. Yuuta is good enough at acting and lying to make this not a complete disaster.
Everyone else with him is bad enough at it to make it a complete disaster.
Aizawa: why are you legally dead
Yuuta: Im sorry but I really don’t know what you’re talking about
Maki, at the exact same moment: that’s a different Okkotsu Yuuta
Panda, also at the same moment: he got better
Nobara, thinks this is funny: he’s hiding from the yakuza
Yuuji, hates him: he’s in the yakuza
Inumaki: tuna
Megumi, the only other person there even mildly good at lying: *staring at them in horror*
Izuku feels like the heavens just opened and sent him the only man alive who’s more of a train wreck than him to save him from this social interaction. Who is he. Does he know that Izuku is also cosmically cursed. Does he know that they are both haunted by violent and malcontent spirits who live inside them. Does he know Izuku has fallen a little bit in love with him, here, in this moment. Also who is that guy standing behind him because he has the vague sense he knows him.
Izuku: have we met before
Megumi, knows for a fucking fact he made it three and a half days in the same elementary school as Izuku before he was expelled and permanently banned from the entire district: no
Sero, noticing him: oh shit didn’t you go to my middle school
Megumi: no
Sero: fushiguro right? You were like a year below me, you, uh. You were pretty notorious for beating up all those… *suddenly afraid* you know what maybe I’m mistaken
Megumi: you are
Nobara, smells blood in the water: wow fushiguro that sure sounds like you
Izuku, connecting the dots between Megumi and that feral Quirkless child that was his best and only friend until he got expelled for biting Bakugou and multiple other people and Izuku never saw him again: ohhhhhhh
Megumi: I have to leave actually
Aizawa, needs the police here: no one is leaving without a parent
Megumi: I’m an orphan
Izuku: your teen dads died????
Nobara: he’s lying man I’ll text his dad
Megumi: *grabs her phone*
Nobara: *pulls out a hammer*
Yuuta, confiscating the hammer from her, which results in her pulling out a second, larger hammer: I am begging you to let them leave
Aizawa: *starts taking deep breaths*
At this point, Tiny Izuku realizes who Megumi is. He’s impossibly relieved to have found Megumi, that vicious Quirkless kid who seemed to have a lot going on in his home life and was being raised by three teenagers of no apparent biological relation to him, who resorted to immediate and indiscriminate violence in defense of Izuku, which Tiny Izuku could really use some of right now.
Tiny Izuku: I need to talk to you
Megumi, looking heavenward for strength: why are there—you got hit by the same thing Okkotsu did, didn’t you.
Izuku: unfortunately yes.
Tiny Izuku: it’s different. And you’re the only one I can trust. Except for all might if he does show up. But right now it’s just you
Megumi, doesn’t know why this is his life or what the worlds most famous man has to do with this: okay
Mina: boooo why does he get to be the only one you trust
Tiny Izuku: he’s Quirkless too! He gets it
Sero: what no he isn’t
Megumi: *stares at him, threateningly*
Sero, afraid now: but maybe I’m mistaken
Megumi: you are
Tiny Izuku, horrified whisper: oh my god they got you too
Megumi’s willing to just let whatever that means sort of ride. But this is immediately and violently thwarted by the love of his friends. Yuuji and Nobara nearly suffocate laughing. Because no, no, this is their favorite story about Megumi. He was just such a violent little freak of a child that his dad just fucking falsified his paperwork because he was using it as an excuse to beat too many people up. He has been expelled from 23 different schools in the greater Tokyo area. They both find him impossibly enchanting. Yuuji’s completely in love with him. What. Who said that. Not Yuuji.
Megumi, after a long pause: I’m gonna take off
Aizawa, needs to stop discovering new crimes in this little torture matrix of a situation: no one no one is leaving until I speak to everyone’s guardian
Yuuji, raising his hand: wait does that mean me too because I am actually an orphan
Aizawa, taking deep breaths: if you’re underaged you still have a guardian
Yuuji: haha you’d think so
Aizawa, needs a Xanax: yes???
At this point, Bakugou comes in.
Bakugou, seeing that one guy who got expelled for biting him in childhood: what the fuck
Bakugou, now seeing tiny Izuku: what the fuck
Megumi, never forgets a guy he fucked up: didn’t I get expelled for beating you up. are you still a piece of shit.
Sero, nervously laughing: but wasn’t your entire thing beating up bullies why would you have beat up…
Megumi: *stares at him, threateningly*
Sero, feeling unsafe: you know i forgot i had a uh, dentist appointment. I think, uh. I think I’m gonna… go
Megumi, still wants to leave: you know what me too I’ll walk you out
Sero, feeling more unsafe: *crying a little* please don’t
Tiny Izuku, recognizing Megumi’s iconic bitch stare, newly hopeful again: it is still you. Listen you have to help me I’ve been killed and replaced
Megumi, interested there are still life problems out there that he hasn’t personally had yet: huh. that so?
Izuku, close to tears: no
Tiny Izuku: yes. can you help me
Megumi, shrugging a bit: I can look into it. if he really killed and replaced you I’ll kill him for you
Izuku: hey wait
Tiny Izuku, bursting into tears: I knew you were the best friend I’ve ever had
Megumi, viewed him as more of an acquaintance: okay.
Bakugou, thinks he’s stroking out: guys what the fuck is going on
Then Megumi tries to leave again. Aizawa insists Megumi can’t leave. Megumi stares at him for a long time and asks him if that’s a hill he wants to die on. Yuuta starts laughing nervously and says that was a joke, but no one believes him.
They wait in haunting silence until Nanami arrives.
When Tiny Yuuta sees him, he immediately bursts into violent and inconsolable tears.
Tiny Yuuta: that’s not my dad
Yuuta: hey hey it’s okay! He just… takes over our guardianship when we get older
Tiny Yuuta, horrified: mom and dad die????
Yuuta, has had a long day: they don’t die they just stop loving us
Tiny Yuuta: *shocked into traumatized silence*
Izuku, has no idea how there’s someone alive whose life is more of a mess than his: :o
Inumaki, softly: tuna
Maki: that means fuck, dude
Rika: *explodes out of the wall*
Panda, weakly: oh hey guys look it’s Rikaaaaaa
There’s screaming. There’s violence. The dorms have to be evacuated. Panda is thrown through several brick walls after insisting that he can resolve this through the power of the dream of millions. But it is not Rika’s dream. Yuuta has to personally contain Rika, to the bewilderment of Tiny Yuuta, who didn’t know he could do that.
After Panda crawls out of the rubble, Panda and Inumaki hang out at the side and try to start a betting pool about whether Yuuta will destroy his second school with the power of love. This is to the direct confusion of all of Class A, who want to know how he did that the first time.
This is also to the direct confusion of Yuuji and Nobara, who were not told anything about what happened before they came to jujutsu high and suddenly have a lot of questions. Megumi does not want any of them answering any fucking questions about what life was like before Yuuji started at the school. This generates even more questions.
No one understands what’s going on, except for Yuuta, who wishes he understood less of this, actually. He says this out loud, furthering Izuku’s belief that Yuuta is his soulmate. Izuku starts wondering if it’d be weird if he asked Yuuta if he wanted to hang out, on account of god hating both of them. It’d be weird, right? Probably weird.
There is a very tense conversation between Aizawa and Nanami, where Aizawa does not want to let them leave until the police get here, and Nanami explains that Aizawa’s involvement with his kids is over and that the police have already been called off. Aizawa does not fucking want to hear that. Matters. Escalate.
The prime minister of Japan has to call UA in extreme distress and tell them that if those fucking people are not off of UA grounds in the next ninety seconds he is canceling every ounce of public funding for UA, ever.
Then they just all sort of fuck off.
It’s just an odd, fucked up thing they never get answers about and always slightly haunts them. At one point, Megumi shows up in the dead of night, having inexplicably gained access to the dorms, tells Tiny Izuku he confirmed he was not killed and replaced, refuses to explain how, and then just fucking leaves. No one knows why this happened. It’s just another confusing and painful aspect of their existence.
Izuku thinks of Yuuta wistfully, like he’s his soulmate lost at sea. After years without him, he decides he’ll probably never see that guy again, and then immediately runs into him at a konbini the next day, because god loves to prove him wrong. Once in a blue moon, one of those random fucking guys from back then will show up and take over a crime scene from the class a alumni, usually whenever it’s a crime scene particularly horrifying. At one point in his career, Sero gets trapped in a cursed spirit’s barrier and is saved by Megumi, who he is still afraid of.
From the jjk gang’s perspective, they have a New Child to raise, which is a healthy activity for teenagers everywhere. Everyone is fucking jazzed about having Baby Yuuta as the new village baby, except for Yuuta, who hates all of this, and Baby Yuuta, who is horrified by all of this, and Megumi, who found out he was the old village baby during this and is too angry to talk to anyone. Inumaki and Panda, with great ceremony, draw up a very complex shared custody agreement for Baby Yuuta, which involves intense negotiations for who gets him on Arbor Day and the entire month of June and nearly escalates to the point of violence.
It is immediately rendered moot by Nanami, who informs them that jujutsu high is hardly a proper place to raise a young boy (he knows from personal experience), and takes custody of him until the Quirk is resolved. Gojo insists on raising Baby Yuuta with him, thereby successfully babytrapping Nanami Kento for the third time.
Panda and Inumaki consider this an abduction of the child they birthed and decide to double down on raising Megumi, thereby abducting Gojo and Nanami’s child right back. Megumi. Suffers.
I have this one very sprawling, episodic fic I call the Peter Parker Roommates AU that I deeply adore that’s basically based on the idea that, when the three Peters hugged at the end of multiverse, they got kind of glitched together and gained the ability to hop into each others universes.
They discover this fact entirely by accident after the entire matter is settled, everyone’s been sent back to their home universes and forgotten Tom Holland!Peter.
WHAT THEY SHOULD DO:
Tell the fucking wizards
WHAT THEY DO NOT DO:
okay so the thing is
They know, okay? They know that this is probably “cosmically dangerous” and “endangering the fabric of reality” or whatever. They all don’t want to rip a hole in the space time continuum that destroys all of existence.
But there’s a very compelling counterpoint to not telling the wizards.
And that’s that all of them are homeless and rent is very very expensive in every version of New York City and it is very very hard to get a roommate when you’re secretly fucking Spider-Man. They have never had such an unparalleled opportunity to split rent three ways before.
the thing is that apparently changing the fates of people who were “important” to your “past” may or may not change the world you come back to. 2/3 Spider-Men did not know they would be homeless coming out the other end of this and are very unprepared. The last 1/3 only had like 7 minutes of forewarning and is likewise caught off guard.
THE SPIDERMEN AND THEIR RESPECTIVE LIVING SITUATIONS:
Tom Holland!Peter (“Pete”): cold, homeless, alone, and sad. Has no idea if he still legally exists or not
Tobey McGuire!Peter (“Peter B.”): see the thing is that he’s been figuring things out and on/off with Mary Jane for a long time and when he left his universe last he and MJ were actually making a pretty good go at long term domesticity and had an apartment together and were really happy. He gets back and they’re very much off again and not on speaking terms, apparently, for reasons that he can’t figure out because they’re not on speaking terms. He has no idea where he lives. He cannot find it. He has tried. Where are all of his things. Currently has the clothes on his back and nothing else.
Andrew Garfield!Peter (“Peter P.”): not technically homeless but seriously considering it as a preferable alternative. The thing is that when he last left his universe he was living on his own, having moved out of Aunt Mays house for her safety and sanity. The universe he returned to was not that. He’s back in his childhood bedroom and apparently in this universe he was fighting a crime ring he was not fighting when he left because his closet is full of cocaine and he does not know why or where he got it or what mob he stole it from. It’s just. It’s an enormous amount of cocaine. He can’t remember what to do with it. He needs to get out of his aunts house and take his cocaine with him.
Anyway they realize that Peter B.’s aunt may never lost her house (a de-Goblin’d Norman Osborn paid it off and refused to accept any reimbursement whatsoever in complete guilt over what happened with Pete’s May). However, she is the oldest out of any May by a lot and needs to be in full time assisted living care home (also forcibly paid for by Norman Osborn for reasons that. Yeah. Would not explain. Makes sense why now.) and the 3 Peters decide to move in together at Peter B’s home and split living costs from there.
Honestly it’s too sprawling of a fic to adequately summarize so here are the highlights:
Peter B’s universe has a long time Daredevil that he’s absolute best friends with and neither of them will admit that they’re friends. They’re in a “purely professional” relationship except they like send each other recipes and go antiquing together on the weekends. Both of them fucking hate their universe’s Avengers, who just cropped up.
Okay it’s not that they HATE them it’s just that they hate them. The thing is that this universes avengers didn’t get the hard launch of an alien invasion. Peter B’s universe had Just Spider-Man for a very long time and then Daredevil and Luke Cage and Jessica Jones and other street folk popped up and now the government is trying to roll out their own superhero team. The thing is they don’t have a super large amount to work with since there’s no alien invasion and people fucking love Spider-Man and other solo heroes so they just play the team angle really hard. The government basically launches a PR campaign that’s about how superhero teams are inherently more trustworthy and have more accountability because you have them keeping each other in check. They’re trying to rope in Spider-Man because he’s got the most street cred out of anyone like just join a TEAM get support from a TEAM and it’s just. It’s so annoying and inconvenient. Leave him BE.
Daredevil is having similar problems and is similarly angry about it. He’s not joining a team with tony stark out of all the godforsaken people. Get off of his rooftop and stop trying to recruit him.
They decide “fuck it” and to form a “team” with each other so that way they can say LOOK we have a TEAM we did the TEAM thing leave us alone now. What’s their team name? Uhhh… red. Team red. Because they both are wearing red. Leave them alone now.
This leads to some random guy named Deadpool taking out billboards and television ads begging to be made a part of their team. They don’t know who he is. He left a muffin basket nailed to the Peters front door with a knife as a bribe/for your consideration gift. How does this man know where they live and who is he. Anyway the muffins were fantastic
(Pete during Peter Bs biweekly bitchfest about the avengers: hey it’s probably a good idea you’re not teaming up with them because shield was secretly nazis in my universe
Peter B, slamming his hand on the counter: I KNEW IT)
(Peter B’s Matt (“Mr. Murdock”) waking Pete up in the middle of the night: what do you mean they were secretly nazi’s
Pete, violently realizing that his attorney was daredevil the whole fucking time: oh I’m gonna torture him with that *cue three months straight where he makes a bunch of lawyer jokes around his universe’s daredevil to drive him mad with paranoia*)
Mike Murdock shenanigans when Pete’s Matt gets caught as Daredevil, arrested, and put on trial and Pete, who has decided he owes him a life debt for his help when he was in the hot seat, concoctes a wild scheme where they claim it was his twin brother Mike Murdock all along. Forces Mr. Murdock to go along as their “Mike” by promising to find a way to reveal SHIELD as secretly nazis, because they’re so fucking annoying and Mr. Murdock wants public humiliation and pain for the inconvenience of having to deal with them
When they do reveal them as secretly nazis they do it through Peter B’s universe’s Bucky, who ends up moving to Pete’s universe in a sort of recovery/witness relocation thing. He moves in with Pete’s Matt (“Matt”), who hates this fact. Leave his home.
Peter B’s universe’s Steve hurdles into depression when it’s discovered that he was working for Nazis and Bucky doesn’t want to see him (he immigrated to another universe and they were planning to tell 0 people that fact) and keeps moping where Peter B has to see it, ruining his now AMAZING mood now that the avengers and shield were publicly ruined. So he drops him off at Matt’s apartment. Matt hates this fact. Leave his home.
This Steve decides that immigration to another universe is the only and best option and becomes a barista and decides his fake name is going to be his favorite character from his favorite book from the 40s that was sadly mostly unknown. So he goes around as Frodo the Barista now. What do you mean that book is popular here. He can’t change it again.
He fights crime as a vigilante in Brooklyn with his Bucky in his free time. Matt is frothing with rage that this is his problem and demands Pete do something about it. Pete starts spreading the rumor that this is the ghost of Captain America and Bucky Barnes haunting Brooklyn, obviously. He is aware that his universes Bucky is still alive. People believe it anyway. Now there’s ghost tours in Brooklyn to see the ghost of someone who’s still fucking alive.
(Matt: I need them out of my home I can’t take this anymore
Foggy, squinting at him: you fucked both of them didn’t you
Matt: that is BESIDES THE POINT)
Peter P’s universe is the only one without a daredevil and he is SO UPSET. He loves daredevils. He wants one so so bad. This is so unfair.
Then law student Matt Murdock starts dicking around in black sweatpants and Peter P could not be more excited. Oh god oh fuck yes yes yes yes it’s happening
His Matt is deeply confused as to how he already caught Spider-Man’s attention and doesn’t want to team up with him. He’s just cleaning up his neighborhood. This isn’t a Thing he doesn’t have a superhero name. When Peter p insists on knowing who he is he just replies “I am a Man of Justice”
Peter P is so fucking psyched and blinded that he got a dramatic theatre kid Matt Murdock that he forgets himself and decides “I’m gonna call you MJ. You look like an M name” and then has a panic attack because BOTH the other Peters fell in love with an MJ. Did he jinx this cosmically?? Oh god
The thing is that Peter P’s universe didn’t get an Avengers, they got a fantastic four. Peter P is in a very unwilling and one sided rivalry with Johnny Storm on account that Johnny Storm keeps trying to rival him and he’s like. Fucking 17. Peter P is an adult man in grad school he can’t, this is, it’s just embarrassing is what it is. However Pete fucking betrayed him by dating Johnny Storm (re: had a star crossed and doomed to fail genuine relationship with him that helped him recover from losing MJ and Ned and crashed and failed due to the fact that Reed Richards was chasing the multiverse and Pete decided he couldn’t risk what he had with the Peters after losing his entire family to the multiverse last time. They broke up and both were devastated)
(Peter P, under the impression he has Big Brother Authority, which does not exist: I FORBID IT
Pete: I do not care man
Peter B, has a headache: let’s all take a step back
Peter P: he’s, he’s immature and bad and always dating new people every week and and he is trying to steal your sweetness
Pete: *stares at him* *ungodly screeching*)
The thing is that the Johnny Storm led to an agreement where they could not date each others friends/enemies multiversal counterparts because it got weird fast. What do you MEAN that your MJ is your Daredevil Pete has ONE FRIEND IN HIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND THATS HIS MATT PETER P CANNOT DATE HIS MATT
This leads to a period of time where Pete insists upon living out of a little hobo sack in his universe, which leads to an even more embarrassing period of time where Peter B is aggressively trying to hunt him down and force him to talk about his feelings, which is the one thing Pete is refusing to do. Peter B refuses to let Pete (who is in his self destructive loner phase, they all have one, it’s a Peter Parker thing) live alone. He needs a roommate who can patch him up or peter b will fucking web them together. Pete says “fine” and gets a roommate. The roommate is the Punisher. He is the only one who thinks this is a solution. Except Frank is weirdly good with angst riddled seventeen year olds and pete gets more emotional actualization and moves back in with the other Peters
Peter Bs JJJ has actual journalistic integrity and some modicum of concern for this random teenager that his photographer took in and thinks he just needs stability and structure and support in life to succeed. He keeps trying to be a mentor figure in Pete’s life who is simply not having it.
He eventually ends up in multiversal shenanigans and discovers Pete’s version of him, who he decides is the Evil Version of him who sells fucking scam multivitamins and slanders a perfectly nice young man. His thing was different they’re not talking about that anyway he has to kill the version of him without journalistic integrity
Peter B, could not be more tired: *deep breath*
Mr. Murdock is in a long standing polycule with his Karen and his Foggy and the thing is that both his Karen and his Foggy have baby fever but can’t adopt because their lives are hostile to children’s continued survival and he decides that what he really needs for them is a durable orphan who can be their like, pseudo child and he can be like the weird uncle to. He just sort of shoves Pete in their path, who fucking owes him for the entire thing with Mike Murdock, and it’s really very extremely awkward when they figure out he was doing it to help Karen and foggy get out their latent parenting instincts. Pete feels violated.
There’s this entire subplot with scarlet witch and multiversal versions of her orphaned twins trying to find a version of their mom (who died in Peter B’s universe) that they can be with that would take too long to get into but whenever they misbehave on the quest to find Pete’s scarlet witch and see if she ever considered motherhood they threaten to send them back to their home universe to be Mr Murdock’s durable orphans
I like to imagine Rose’s brothers gave her shit for not sticking it out with Shane Hollander long enough for him to meet the family then when they find out it’s because Shane is gay they give her shit for not passing him along to one of them and she’s like??? you’re not gay??? to which they’re like !!!! everyone’s gay for Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov ain’t special
when the brothers find out that Shane and Rose broke up she definitely got a text saying “nobody panic we can still clutch this. quick, tell him you’re pregnant!”
you are my favorite fanfiction author bar none and your way with words haunts and enchants me every waking minute. i am obsessed with kintsugi, pez and sgg and there are a great many things i would do for peter, izuku and yuuta.
all of them are outlawed by the geneva conventions.
you said you had fic ideas for izuku and megumi as friends and i Must Know More. is there any chance we could have some of your classic insane ramblings on the topic?? what are these ideas and do you think there are any other jjk/bnha crossover character dynamics that would be fun to explore?? gojo and yagi, for example?? I Need More
Thank you so so much. You are so kind and I’ll weep. Like you have no idea how happy that makes me.
So with my own fanfic ideas that I spin about in my head, I have my “serious developed storylines” and my “silly little bits that are fun to chew on but would never work stories.” Izuku and Megumi being friends are hard in the second category.
It’s the kind of story that just wouldn’t work together, at least not to me. Their stories are just too mutually exclusive. They both deal in massively high and all consuming stakes, and their conflicts just don’t coexist well without just feeling silly to me. Like I can’t seriously imagine having all for one at play in a conflict that also has Sukuna. You’d have to neglect one of the stories and themes in favor of showcasing the other and I just don’t like the vibe of that as a legitimately developed story.
I also just think JJK sort of negates the issues of BNHA.
I see a lot of debates about power scaling and who would win in a JJK v BNHA matchup and like. I’m sorry to BNHA but I usually see JJK winning the fights.
It’s not even about relative power. It’s about the mechanics of their abilities. You need cursed energy to fight cursed energy, and a lot of the jjk cast’s abilities are just. Invisible to the bnha cast. Obviously there’s a lot of nuance to individual fights but overall I just don’t think the abilities mesh well together without ruining stakes.
I like it when characters are smart about their abilities. When they use them to their full potential—within the bounds of their own senses of morality, personal knowledge of what’s happening, etc. So if I’m writing the JJK character existing in conjunction with the BNHA characters, all for one is dead in a fucking afternoon. Megumi sent his invisible wolf to rip out his throat from a distance and all for one had no way of even knowing it was there. Like it just makes too many conflicts irrelevant for the universes to mesh well.
That all being said Izuku and Megumi are my trash friendship pair that I love to chew on.
I think I like them so much because they legitimately shouldn’t work. Personality wise, that is. Megumi’s catchphrase is practically “I’m not a hero, I’m a jujutsu sorcerer” and Izuku’s rolling in like “I’m a hero and I want to save everyone.” They’re both very intelligent and analytical characters who’ve got very similar tactical approaches of breaking down their opponent’s abilities and counteracting them, but their disposition towards like. Life in general is diametrically opposed. For some reason I love the idea of shoving them in a room together.
But their stories, again, aren’t really compatible. So I don’t really ever get to a fully fledged storyline. It’s just a bunch of disjointed ideas that I spin around on for fun.
I have this ongoing silly little tale I sometimes chew on for fun where Izuku’s a Zenin that’s got a bunch of random little potential plot ideas that aren’t really connected. The general idea is that Inko got pregnant in a very drunken one night stand with some random Zenin clan member and had no idea what was going on with the cursed energy thing. But the Zenin always brings their blood back into the clan, especially if they have cursed energy, and they got inko to give him up by convincing her that he’d die in the outside world. He could see curses, which canonically get aggressive when they realize they’re being watched, and the Zenin convinced her that it was either “give him over to them with no visitation rights” or “he dies before he hits six because a curse ate him screaming.”
But Izuku doesn’t want to be a sorcerer. He wants to be a hero. Also these people fucking suck.
The thing is that the Zenin don’t actually give a shit if the loser rejects without cursed energy take off, but they are aggressive about members with potential trying to leave the clan. You fall into line or you die as a deserter. Izuku feels this bodes poorly for him, personally, who’s got both cursed energy and potential as a sorcerer.
But all sorcerers are slightly insane. It’s basically written down as part of the job description. You’d have to be crazy to actually want to fight curses. So Izuku gets the idea to try and trick his family into thinking he’s too sane for this line of work, which, of course, is the kind of plan you’d have to be fucking insane to even try. Izuku is a dream candidate for jujutsu sorcery and he is absolutely fucking sweating because of this.
He just starts crying at the sight of any curse. Full on terrified weeping. He feels that’s what sane people would do.
Anyway he makes it to high school age and, after dancing the line between being too pathetic to be a sorcerer candidate but not so pathetic that they should have succeeded at killing him by now, he gets Naobito to the point where he has accepted that the least embarrassing option for the clan is to just sort of let Izuku disappear into obscurity and hopefully get gutted by some curse out there.
Izuku meanwhile is banking on them not fucking realizing what he did ever, or at least until he’s too high profile of a hero for them to kill.
So there he is, with a plan that he’s spent his entire life developing to convince his family he’s fled to be homeless and is probably either weeping or dead somewhere, and to convince UA that he’s a totally normal heroics student and not a homeless wizard in hiding from his own fucking family, and there’s one thought he just can’t escape from.
It’s about his cousin Megumi.
He doesn’t know why. They pretty much never spoke growing up. Megumi was the ten shadows who only got to be with the clan once a month, and Izuku was the crybaby disappointment who wasn’t so much as a blip on his radar. And then Gojo cut them off permanently. Izuku hasn’t seen him in years.
But the only thing he remembers about his cousin is how fucking miserable he always looked.
And he can’t escape the thought that no one will ever try to save him.
It’s important to note that Izuku does not fucking trust Gojo Satoru in this. He thinks that Gojo’s using Megumi, and that impression is reinforced when he eventually approaches Megumi in secret and realizes he has no goddamn idea what it means to have the ten shadows. Izuku is convinced that Gojo’s just like everyone else but better at pretending.
Izuku offers Megumi a deal: Megumi helps him survive long enough to become a hero, and Izuku buys Megumi’s freedom.
He’s going to be a hero. And he’ll have to be a popular one, because he needs to be high profile enough that the Zenin can’t off him if they find out what he did. That means money.
The higher ups have Megumi buried in the kind of debt he’d never be able to claw his way out of—not working as a sorcerer at least. The higher ups would be setting his rate. They’d make sure he could never pay it off.
But Izuku could pay off Megumi’s debt for him. And Megumi could decide to still be a sorcerer to to leave jujutsu sorcery or to live on Izuku’s fucking couch until he figures out what he wants to do.
Just help Izuku get free. And Izuku will free Megumi in return.
Izuku frames it as a quid pro quo, but honestly, it’s riskier to involve Megumi than to not involve Megumi. If he gets caught, he’d have humiliated the clan in a way that would see him sentenced to death. But if they found out he was trying to help the Ten Shadows escape them forever?
He’d be tortured to death. Slowly and publicly. They’d make an example of him.
It’s just a really bad idea to involve Megumi. That fact doesn’t escape Megumi either, thought neither of them admit to it aloud. The Zenin clan are more likely to watch Megumi than they are likely to even think about Izuku. It’s just a bad fucking idea.
But Izuku does it. Because every time he thought of Megumi, all he could think of is “No one is ever going to save that guy.” And he just couldn’t bear the idea.
From that general premise I have like a half dozen different disjointed story lines of them trying to pull this entire thing off. I have Izuku still getting OfA and fucking boiling in anxiety and guilt about it because how does he break it to his mentor and lifelong hero that he actually has a different and questionably more sensitive secret. I have a plot where Stain was a curse user and was just pretending to have a normal curse and he and Izuku are facing down like •_• because they both know the other could get them killed if they rat them out to the higher ups. I have Tensei’s paralysis actually being a result of a curse and Izuku calling up Megumi like “I have no idea how to break this fucking thing without outing myself do you have any ideas.” I have them fucking panicking when the dorms happen and home visits are mandatory and them deciding to try and convince mr Aizawa that Megumi’s his 19 year old cousin who is his sole living relative and has legal custody of him, despite Megumi being younger then Izuku. This escalates into them stealing Gojo’s identity to pull it off… and Nanami’s identity, because Yuuji somehow ended up playing Nanami Kento, “Gojo Satoru’s” fiancée. When are they getting married? Uh. Soon. Next month. Please come to the ceremony. Oh fuck he will?? They didn’t think he’d accept that invite. Fuck.
I have plots where they fail and the Zenin find out too soon, and then they have to scramble to get Izuku out of this alive. I have plots where Megumi ultimately decides to trust Gojo enough to ask him to save Izuku, against Izuku’s express wishes. I have plots where Kenjaku targets UA as a way to increase the number of curses in the world, since it’s such a symbol of hope and prosperity that all of its students being mysteriously massacred would plunge the world into chaos, and Izuku has to figure out how to keep everyone alive until help gets there. I have plots where Maki finds out and is fucking furious with them both because what do you mean she could have had family she didn’t hate this entire time?? Fuck both of you. Of course she’s in on the plan now shut the fuck up.
Some of these plots are connected, some of them aren’t, but all of them are more fun goofy things for me to chew on than serious storylines. No matter how much I tease it out, JJK ultimately predominates too much of bnha for me to find it to be a fulfilling storyline. Like I don’t just want it to be “JJK but Izuku is also there.” I want it to be both stories in balance, but it’s just too hard to balance with JJK
I think there’s a lot of potential for very interesting character dynamics. Gojo and Yagi are top examples. Both uniquely understand the burden of being the strongest, but Gojo’s still in his prime, and Yagi’s in his decline. In the stories I have, their interactions are usually complicated by Izuku, who doesn’t trust Gojo but who Gojo is trying to help for Megumi’s sake. This puts Yagi on the off step, because he wants to be Izuku’s protector but is struggling to manage it.
I also really like Nanami and Aizawa as parallels. I feel like between their backstories and their philosophies, theyd related to each other in a way they struggled to with other people.
But ultimately the character interactions vary depending on what variation of the story I’m chewing on. A lot of it depends on the surrounding context. And since this is more fun, non-serious story development for me, the contexts vary greatly.
HA you know I didn’t even think of that. Emotionally Shane and Hawks are sitting on the floor of the same dark room with bloodshot eyes and hoodies pulled over their faces. If they existed in the same universe and this was happening at the same time they’d both be wondering who the poor motherfucker competing with them for the number 1 spot in the worldwide trending twitter tags is. I’d say they’d wish the other the best but honestly they’d both wish the other gets MORE famous so the heat gets taken off them
Your Heated Rivalry / BNHA crossover desperately intrigues me, and I am dying to learn more about it. Does the Dekusquad make it to the Olympics, and if so, what happens there?
They eventually make it there, but not during the events of this crack crossover self indulgent fic.
In my mind, the We Got Weirdly Into Competitive Curling And Whoops We Became Contenders For An Olympic Run is genuinely one of the ways the dekusquad has been using the pizza underground in like, the greater pez canon. Long after the events of this cringe crack fic (and pez), when they’re Fully Licensed Pro Heroes, I think the dekusquad does eventually go to the Olympics for curling and it just becomes Another Batshit Thing Those Fuckers Do. Everyone in the Olympic village is trying to be normal but pan to the left and there’s fucking Deku, fellow Olympian, politely clapping during men’s luge.
But they dont compete in their Miscellaneous International Curling Competition in the course of this crack fic. No, immediately after stopping the villain attack the dekusquad collectively decides they need to fake their curling death and start fresh.
Something incredibly concerning happens in the course of this fic, you see. Like, yes there’s the whole “blah blah large scale villain attack on a major sporting event” and the whole “blah blah secret gay hockey players whose secret is being barely covered up by the thin fucking veil that is tododeku fake dating to distract the media blah blah.” They don’t care about any of that shit. that is all basically a regular Tuesday to them. No, there is a far bigger problem they have been confronted with.
The Pizza Underground is in danger.
They’re in Canada to enable their secret underground lives as an internationally ranked curling team. The only reason why they’re able to maintain a secret underground life as an internationally ranked curling team is because they’ve been putting on disguises and shimmying out of campus on the pizza underground after curfew so they can pursue a curling career under fabricated identities. This is how they feel alive. If Aizawa finds out why they are in Canada he will realize that they’ve been off campus during quiet hours and must have a way past the $7.5 million USD security system the school installed to contain those awful little fuckers.
This is immediately and overwhelmingly their greatest concern. Not the gay hockey player thing. Izuku’s got more repressed and tragic homosexual pining than that happening between ghosts living in his bones. Their concerns are dedicated solely to the Pizza Underground.
After the villain attack is thwarted, the dekusquad is accosted by the press who asks, of course, Why Are You In Canada.
To which Izuku says, Oh We Are The World’s Biggest Shane Hollander Fans. Love That Guy. Greatest Hockey Player In The World. Haha He Is Japanese We Are Japanese And He Is So So Good At Hockey. That Is Why We Love Him. Came Just For Him.
Which is a fucking lie. They came for their curling careers and decided to partake in North American Bloodsport while they had an afternoon free. They found out who Shane Hollander was like four hours ago when they walked into this stadium and heard people talking about him like he was the second coming of hockey Jesus. Izuku does have his jersey but that’s because he shiv’d a dude in a storage closet while they were still trying to shut down the villain attack before it started and needed to get a new shirt before anyone noticed the blood splatter and the jersey stand was just the physically closest option. It cost like $200 and his immediate reaction was overwhelming visceral disgust. But now they have to gaslight the world and more concerningly Aizawa into thinking they’ve always loved that guy. Fuck their lives.
The media, meanwhile, is eating it right the fuck up. Shane Hollander Is The Favorite Hockey Player Of The Heroes Of Yokohama. Of Course He Is Everyone Loves That Guy. Make Him Even More Famous.
Shane Hollander, quietly: fuck
After the attack is over and police have taken over securing the scene, the Dekusquad ends up sending someone to very professionally duck their heads into each team’s locker room and say Hi Can We Speak To The Team’s Captain It Is For Very Important Stadium Security Reasons and then they bring them into the windowless room they’ve commandeered and Shane and Ilya are like “shit what’s the security thing what do you need” and they’re like “oh no we were 100% lying we just thought you’d want to talk to each other alone where your teams couldn’t see you For No Reason In Particular. Seriously don’t worry about what we know we could not possibly care less and won’t be sharing it with others.” And they’re about to fuck off and leave them to address *gestures* That but in that moment Aizawa finds out they’re on the news again and calls them. And it’s just
Aizawa, immediately: I did not approve Canada. No one told me Canada. Why Canada.
Iida: sensei with all due respect school is not in session and we do not have to inform you about where we are in advance
Aizawa:
Aizawa: you’re up to something
Aizawa: I’m getting on a plane.
Uraraka, as soon as he hangs up: FUCK
Yaoyorozu: yes this is less than ideal
Uraraka: he’s going to find out
Iida: we don’t know that yet there’s still time
Uraraka: no it’s too late we need to run we need to go while we still have a head start. he’s going to find out about the pizza underground and hunt us through the Canadian wilderness like we’re prize elk and it’s the first day of open season. If we leave now we get an 18 hour head start it won’t be enough to save us but we can at least put up a fight
Yaoyorozu: no it’s not too late we can still cover up why we’re here. Midoriya Todoroki what did you tell the press
Izuku: I said we were big Shane Hollander fans
Uraraka: WE DIDNT KNOW HE EXISTED UNTIL FOUR HOURS AGO
Shane Hollander, also here: •_•
Todoroki, looking at his phone: hey why is everyone texting ‘war is over’ in the group chat
Izuku: I was wondering that too
Iida, rubbing his own forehead: I cannot take you two right now
Yaoyorozu, was not there when Todoroki and Izuku explained the bit about how they were hard launching a fake relationship to distract from how gay the hockey players are for each other: … is war not over
Izuku, to Todoroki, in genuine confusion: is japan at war right now??
Iida: IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING IT IS
Iida, taking a deep breath: THEY THINK THEY ARE FAKE DATING. IN UNRELATED NEWS.
Todoroki, who would not mind real dating Izuku but respects the fact that Izuku is in love with Iida who is the obvious choice: yes obviously we are fake dating. But Iida if we’re at war with someone Japan should have told us they can’t hide that
Iida: *murderous silence*
Iida: anyway
Todoroki: we’d notice in the supply chain if there was a secret war Iida
Iida, taking a deeper breath: ANYWAY. Hockey is a very violent sport maybe Aizawa will believe we became enamored with it
Mirio, just #blessed to be with these crazy little weirdos, also the only one who bothered to google who was playing tonight: you know Shane Hollander is notorious for hardly ever fighting right
Uraraka: we are FUCKED
Iida, nodding soberly: you’re right no one will ever believe we like him.
Shane Hollander, still also here: •_•
Uraraka: look we leave tonight we go to ground we avoid civilization and maybe we have a chance. If we fake our deaths first we can buy three hours before sensei figures out the blood is fake. Does anyone know how to pull off a self-sustaining survivalist lifestyle in the woods
Izuku, does not know how to do that but has Four who knows how to do that: yes.
Uraraka: of course you fucking do. Genuinely where do you find the time to learn this shit
Mirio, decides he probably needs to intervene around now: okay okay so before your parents let me supervise this trip they made me agree to an incredibly thorough list of behavior I was not allowed to enable and oddly enough faking your death and fleeing into the woods was on that list
Todoroki: huh. Was stopping a terrorist attack on the list
Mirio: you know weirdly no
Iida: no that makes sense my brother does not believe in setting unreasonable expectations. Our track record does not promise compliance with that rule I will say
Izuku, staring at his phone, genuinely confused: why did all might just text me “it’s about time.” About time to do what
Todoroki, equally confused: I can’t think of anything
Ilya, quietly, to Shane: what are they saying
Shane, only like 75% fluent in Japanese and worried he is having a stroke: I, I can’t be translating this right
WHAT THE DEKUSQUAD SETTLES ON IS THUS:
Mirio’s list of dumb fucking secret rules forbade them from faking their own deaths and fleeing into the woods but it did not forbid them from faking the deaths of their curling doubles. Aizawa may find out that they are lying about being here for hockey but that doesn’t mean that he finds out that they’re here to enable their secret lives as an internationally ranked curling team. If he doesn’t find out about the curling thing then he doesn’t find out that they’ve been sneaking out after hours and the pizza underground is safe. He is going to be suspicious of any event with a Japanese presence when he inevitably figures out that they are lying to him about caring about hockey. If a Japanese curling team mysteriously drops out of a nearby competition right after he arrived in Canada then he may find out and investigate it. They need a way to sever the link to their secret curling lives entirely. If the Japanese curling team tragically dies in the eyes of the law then Aizawa probably cannot accuse them of being dead internationally ranked curlers. They need a way to fool the local coroners office who’s got ideas. Izuku is thinking they fake a moose attack.
#pez dispenser debris#I like it when people have a close pass with the dekusquad they’re so fucking insane#the pizza underground is sacred to them it’s all the care about#and Shane Hollander speaks Japanese for the purposes of this fic but it was not on his Wikipedia page with left Izuku very put out when#shane accidentally overheard him talking about the bomb Mirio was trying to defuse in real time#Izuku made the mistake of being visibly Japanese and buying a shane Hollander jersey and suddenly he’s ’won the opportunity to meet Shane#Hollander himself.’ next thing he knows he’s in skates doing one of those ‘can this normal fan shoot a real nhl goal’ thing during the brea#between periods and there’s a villain disguised as arena security glaring daggers at him because they know Izuku shiv’d their dude and#Izuku’s TRYING to figure out the status of the bomb Mirio’s defusing over his earpiece and Shane Hollanders looking at him weird and /fuck/#that guy speaks Japanese doesn’t he. Shane does sort of because of Yuna but it’s not public knowledge#he speaks Japanese but it’s not perfect the way his French is and a focus group felt he was both ‘too Asian’ and also somehow ‘not Asian#enough’ as a result. he doesn’t know he was like 18 when people decided this for him it never made it on his Wikipedia page. repeat the bom#part please repeat. repeat that.#Shane and Ilya reminds Izuku of first and second so he figures he’ll help them out by fake dating Todoroki#Todoroki’s a good sport for doing it even though he’s in love with Iida#who is the obvious choice
unironically i think we need to bring back computer labs because APPARENTLY some people WERENT taught basic computer literacy and internet safety in school
things about computers/the internet i think kids should be formally taught in schools because theyre important to know and the amount of soon to be grown adults i know who know NOTHING about any of these is quite frankly almost all of them (and resources to learn if you dont know these things, because its never to late to get better with computers)
how to troubleshoot by yourself when you have a technical problem
what common file types are
some very basics on how to use ""developer tools"" on your computer (because i cant think of a better way to refer to them) like task manager and command prompt (and their mac equivalents, terminal and activity monitor ofc)
how to read and understand a privacy policy and what your personal data is, as well as what it being collected actually means and steps you can take to keep it private
how to understand terms of service
(hey. if you have trouble with reading legalese and worry about being able to understand these policies anyways, here's a site that gives basic summaries of privacy policies and ToS)
what a cookie actually is
internet privacy and your digital footprint!! seriously i dont know why we stopped teaching people that they shouldnt be putting their entire real identity online in a world where your online actions can ruin you irl
basic safety measures like antivirus software (and why you should use it or if the built in one on windows or mac is enough for you) and backing up your computer (also a mac guide)
common keyboard shortcuts (and on mac)
as an additional note: things i think everyone should know on computers and the internet but schools may bit hesitant to teach about for whatever moral/legal standards schools pretend to operate on
vpns and adblockers! (btw for most of these where you can pay for things im purposefully not recommending any specific software but seriously just use ublock origin for an adblocker)
how to not get a virus while pirating something
what a temporary email is and when to use one
red flags that you shouldn't trust a website (and how to quickly check the security of a site)
what javascript on a website does and how to disable it to get around paywalls
ok one last addition! if you want to take it one level higher, i think learning the very basics of at least one programming language is good for people. it makes computers less scary and it makes you feel very cool, and a lot of people get discouraged about it because it seems overly complicated and hard to learn outside a formal classroom setting, so heres some resources for learning the very basics of python (because i consider it the easiest language to learn and knowing one language will make it easier to learn others)
an online compiler so you dont need to download anything or worry about running code directly on your computer if that makes you nervous
a basic video guide to introduce you to python and walk you through beginner steps
a guide to some syntax and commands you should know (this was literally my lifeline in my first CS class)
some performance tasks to give you things to code to practice and assess yourself
