Briefly High Angel

[upset-to-dead]

Ilya: Marly, I need to tell you something because you are my friend.

Marleau: Yeah whats up?

Ilya: I am bisexual

Marleau: ...okay?

Ilya: The fuck does that mean?

Marleau: I already know that

Ilya: How did you know?

Marleau: You've literally begged to suck my dick at least twice while hammered

Ilya: .....

Ilya: .....

Ilya: .....

Ilya: Did you let me?

Marleau: Uh, yeah. Duh.

[moetxt]

i tried making a contrapuntal poem for hollanov, which can be read 3 ways: shane’s side alone, ilya’s side alone, or both sides together. inspired by the long game.

[hrsocials]

suggestion: this tweet except it's shane instead of his forefather sidcros,,, possibly ilya is the one name dropping him lol but also i'm sure anyone with eyes could say it

.one hundred and one. i picked something boobier than the original sorry ;) back to the internet crashout over shane having a man on our next episode

[vesnuszki]

ilyas #hislingerie are the three inch inseam shorts commando because his dick is so large it peeks out through the bottom. hard times for shane hollander

[vesnuszki]

@averagesquire #just lounging around the house and’s shane notices what he’s wearing and basically crowds him against the#like he has to suck ilyas dick about it#ilya being like noooo i got stuff to do i gotta …. go to the store (he put these shorts of to get his dick sucked)#shane doesn’t even pull them down just pulls out ilyas dick through the leg hole and sucks him off in the living room

oh yeah they love this game like ilya puts them on purpose and is like but shaaaane i have ERRANDS and then immediately sits down on the couch with his legs spread

[potatounicoorn]

Also fun fact to consider with the shallergies and making some angst and fics with it is that pretty much all NHL teams have their own private chefs and kitchens on their service, and they in fact, feed their players and they do that pretty heavily monitored on because the teams also have nutritional experts etc at their service :)

As in it would be somewhat funny af for Ilya to become the ultimate food police and allergy advocant for the Centaurs, meanwhile the Centaurs food related staff is just doing a thousand yard stare in the background, telling themselves "hey its cute and great that he cares :')"

[haveyouseenmyhat]

Ilya Rozanov kissing his ring around the chain at his neck, pointing at Shane Hollander: I won this cup for you✨❤️😘💕🥰

Shane Hollander who just lost the Stanley Cup: (like a feral cat) I will [beeeeep] kill you 🤬😾😡

[felifiran]

During Summer 2022, married Ilya and Shane watch all 4 Hunger Games films

Ilya declares Shane to be Katniss (‘so you’re the sad little baker boy?’ ‘I am the very brave very smart baker man’). Hayden is Gale. Obviously.

After watching the second film, Ilya develops a habit of saying if it weren’t for the baby in his best Peeta accent, and it becomes his excuse to get out of anything (‘I would pick up Hayden from the airport… if it weren’t for the baby’). It drives Shane insane, which only makes Ilya say it more. He even ups the ante, and starts touching Shane's stomach while he says it, which makes Shane even more deliciously vibratey angry

At a late summer team barbecue, Bood overhears this (‘My love, I would go and get you a beer… if it weren’t for the baby’, complete with tummy touch) and assumes Hollander is pregnant (he doesn’t concern himself too much with how, it's none of his business, really)

At the first training session of the season, much to the confusion of everyone else, Bood acts like an enforcer and keeps people away from Hollander during scrimmage. He lets Rozy get close, because Rozy is one of his best friends and Bood figures Rozy wouldn’t do shit to his pregnant husband, but then Rozy checks Hollander into the boards hard

And Bood just sees red and absolutely decks him

[reheatedrivalri]

The best reply doesn’t exist:

[striving-artist]

The best piece of advice I ever got was not meant as advice, but as an edict. If I was going to threaten people as a joke, it had to be so far out of proportion with what happened that it would be obvious I was joking. This changed how I expressed frustration with others. It then changed how I expressed frustration with myself.

Not “I’m going to hit you” but “I am going to buy a tuna sub from the gas station and hide it under the seat of your car”

Not “I’m going to kill myself” but “I am going to walk into the desert and let the scarabs take me”

The other side then happened. When I mess something up, instead of saying it’s bad and perpetuating negative thoughts, swing hard the other way.

Not “this art is terrible” but “this shall be framed and mounted on the wall in my museum exhibition as testament to the suffering I had to overcome”

Have been doing this since high school. It was my drama teacher who asked me to please stop scaring the actors. The other half of the edict was that I had to say it in a polite tone, and end it with either please or thank you.

Life changing. 10/10 Mr Muëller. Highly reccomend.

[avelera]

I’m a big fan of reenactment archaeology. I think there’s a lot to be said for recreating a scenario to better understand decisions made in generations past. Usually there’s an inherent logic to them.

Which is to say, that now that I have a baby of my own, I understand so much better the common cultural practice in which unmarried women wear their hair loose and uncovered, while married women have their hair covered and/or bound back.

I doubt it was just for modesty, oh no. No, my friends, I see now that the reason for this common practice of mothers binding back their hair is because there is nothing, I mean nothing, a baby love more than YANKING EVERY STRAND OF HAIR THAT COMES WITHIN GRABBING DISTANCE OF THEIR STICKY, SWEATY, AND IMPOSSIBLY STRONG LITTLE HANDS.

[pseudomantis]

[is-the-owl-video-cute-deactivat]

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

[phaeton-flier]

How about you mind your own damn business

[okoyestrainee]

The main reason I push back against the “Shane Hollander doesn’t really listen to music” camp: I believe deep down in my soul that this man has insane rhythm. He may not always know who’s singing the songs he likes, but he likes music. More than that? Shane Hollander can dance and you will not convince me otherwise. Shane can move them hips.

Walk with me here. Imma hold your hand, no napkin in between.

Picture this. Harris shooting silly videos for the Centaurs’ IG account. The guys are competing to see who can hula hoop the longest. Everyone fails spectacularly in twenty seconds or less, save for Bood (2:14; West Indian rhythm, baby), Ilya (2:02; simply refuses to be bad at anything), and Shane (9:58, 9:59, 10:00…).

“I didn’t realize this was possible,” Harris murmurs behind the camera. “How much longer do you think he can keep this up?”

“Forever?” Troy’s not sure’s blinked in the last two minutes. “Or at least until practice tomorrow?”

“I have nothing straight to say,” Wyatt interjects. “And I’m not putting my life on the line with Roz here.”

Bood snorts. “Guarantee Cap can’t hear us. He’s on another planet right now.”

Ilya’s gaze has been locked on two alternating points for the last twelve, almost thirteen minutes: Shane’s face, completely blank as he concentrates on the music on his headphones and the task at hand, and Shane’s hips, moving in a repetitive figure-eight over and over and over and—

“Oh, he’s gone,” Dykstra chuckles. “He’s not in this universe.”

“I feel like we’re intruding,” Haas whispers. Despite his statement, he remains just as transfixed as everyone else. “And learning more about them than we needed to know.”

Wyatt pipes up again. “Okay, but are we leaving or…?”

Nobody says anything. The locker room is silent, save for the rhythmic shift-whoosh of the hula hoop moving around Shane’s hips.

Bood hums appreciatively as they pass the fifteen-minute mark. “What do you think he’s listening to?”

“White noise.”

“Hockey podcast.”

“Recording of him and Roz. For muscle memory.”

What’s Shane listening to?

[fuck-u-maga]

[faemorrigan]

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point

[faemorrigan]

"this story is misogynistic!!"

>looks inside

>about the pressures of societal misogyny and how its bad

[needyilyarights]

i think Shane is the dad who treats his kid like pizza dough. Just flipping them all around, tossing them into a pool like a beach ball. Carrying them around by their ankles. And the kid fucking loves it. Like “daddy do the thing” and Shane is like :) and then lays down on his back, sets the kid on the soles of his feet and then launches them 10 feet towards the couch.

And it makes ilya so fucking nervous. “Gospodi Shanya be careful! You are trying to kill me. You want me to have heart attack.”

[hothockey]

the thing ! about shane dropping to give ilya head in .05 seconds and then coming up so worried he did it wrong is actually !! that it doesn't matter if he did suck (ha) at it. ilya has got the read on him here. he's not gonna say if it was bad. that's not the point.

the point is that when a #2 draft-pick career-overachiever is desperate enough for your cock to drop the knee at the doorway of your first sexual encounter when he couldn't clock your flirting or his OWN flirting for over a year, and didn't initiate anything until you jerked off in front of him and pushed him against a wall and slid your thumb into his mouth but now! now he leans into your kisses like he is trying to breathe through your lips and clutches at your waist in awe and shoves his hand greedily into your pants to get you hard enough in 12 seconds to suck and THEN asks you with a panicked look on his face if he was bad -- you say, ah no, opposite. too much, too good!

too good of him to be so longing and so eager and so ready for you to take. too good of him wanting to be so good right off the whistle. to want so hard and so wet and so deeply, its consumed the back of his brain and made the back of his throat ache and made him moan around you while he tried to balance covering his teeth and sucking and pulling back your foreskin. too good, that he wants you so so fiercely.

and you double-check your instinct, you ask, is your first time with a man, first time feeling this? leading shane to vocalize it. leading him to his desire. yes, he lunges for your lips. yes, he was curious.

did you like sucking my cock? and he skitters away from it, tries to make his desire less, but you have his desire in your hands and you are scruffing it and forcing it to look at the flame. don't play it off. did you like it. yes? and shane who says of course it was different in a lifetime from now, gives it up instantly and says, yes.

and ilya grips that desire and says, shall i let you have it again? and that!! that is the point.

[penandinkprincess]

i feel like of the two, ilya would be the one more likely to get the shitty "oh, that nag at home" nudge nudge jokes, and it's extremely funny to imagine him just. not engaging at all. he fucking LOVES being married, and he is shane hollander's greatest fan. you are talking absolute nonsense to him.

he gets a text on a night out maybe at all stars with players he doesn't usually talk to, and obviously they know ilya and shane are married and shane stayed back at the hotel instead of joining them

"ahhhh, gotta get home to the old ball and chain soon, huh?"

"what even are you saying to me"

"old lady isn't blowing up your phone?"

"i am married to a man. there is no lady."

"but he's the girl in the relationship, isn't he?"

"is english your second language also? you seem confused by the concept of gay marriage."