I Done Fucked Up

27 |♐️|Demi-sexual| Born:🇲🇵Raised:🇬🇺|🇺🇸🇵🇭

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[beyond-crusading]

"I asked ChatGPT-" Well I asked the immortal Dragon that Uther chained in the caves beneath Camelot and HE told me to commit treason

[dragon-in-a-fez]

you know what really helps you locate any small paper cuts you might have forgotten you have? putting your hand in a bucket of acid. cool things I learned today

[goldenleopard34335]

Why. If I may ask. Why would you Do That

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I buy citric acid crystals in bulk and mix them with water to make a bath for cleaning aquarium equipment. and then sometimes I reach in with my bare hand to take things out because I am fundamentally the kind of person who would do that

[the-knight-was-actually-hollow]

You have. The. Dream job

[dragon-in-a-fez]

this is not my job, I just have an aquarium

[goldenleopard34335]

DO YOU HAVE FISH????

[dragon-in-a-fez]

yes that is who lives in the aquarium

[madeofclothandlove]

this has the energy of a world heritage post

[dragon-in-a-fez]

do I come to your blog and curse your bloodline

[wizardarchetypes]

i was at an event last night in california and i went to the bar to order wine bc wine was like, a thing, and i looked at the menu and saw i was completely out of my depth bc idk any wine names, so i turned to my right and there was a man in a gorgeous suit standing at the bar beside me and i said “do you know anything about wine?” and he said “a little, yes!” i told him i liked white and dry wines and asked if he’d order for me. he asked the server for two glasses and had one poured for each of us and then he clinked his glass on mine but he didn’t take a sip, he just watched me taste mine and then he asked what i thought and i said “it’s pretty good, but like i said, i wouldn’t know.” he laughed and told me to have a good time & i walked away. fifteen minutes later i found out he’s the winemaker.

[girlypop-shitto]

[jager-bruder]

[queen-scribbles]

[nevershootamockingbird]

[ Image One: Photo of two gray wolves on a snowy ridge. Text below the photo reads "Wolf 21 and Wolf 42 on their last day together. They were nearly 9 years old, twice the average life-span of Yellowstone wolves. (Photo: Kim Kaiser)"

Image Two: A screenshot of text that reads "Forty-two was the quintessential mother. She'd put unruly adolescents in their place and she raised her daughters' young as well as her own. The year she took over as alpha female, the Druid pack successfully raised 20 out of 21 pups born.

In the past few years, 21 and 42 were nearly inseparable. They cut a distinctive picture as they led their offspring through the Lamar Valley - 21, a large, bulky male, part black, part gray, usually trailing the lithe and darker 42.

After 42 died, 21 spent two days off by himself, howling. Seasoned observers reported that it was more howling than they had ever heard the wolf do in his entire life.

"Do wolves mourn?" I asked Smith.

"I'll leave that up to you," he replied."

Image Three: Meme reaction of a man with his eyes closed, holding his hand partially over his face as he says "hold on a second. Man, hold on a second." / End ID ]

[talesfromtreatment]

The owner gave me permission to share photos... but look! Look at this little French Bulldog!

A nose! Minimal facial wrinkles! Breathes quietly! *delighted gasp*

[silly-jellyghoty]

Yes! And it's still super adorable!

[silverywillowtree]

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

[library-seraph]

The first attested cat in Japan was given to a young 9th century emperor and his diary about it includes such gems as 'I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long.", "The color of the fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink.", "When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. You cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were circular Bi disk." and "I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.” Basically posting about how his void is the best little void and so good at getting really round

[teaboot]

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

[justlightmeonfire]

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

[teaboot]

Also the amulet

[whimsicalmayhem]

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

[teaboot]

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

[madeofklay]

I saw this perfectly in my head and had to recreate it

[teaboot]

Holy Shit

[whatagrump]

Apparently a lot of people get dialogue punctuation wrong despite having an otherwise solid grasp of grammar, possibly because they’re used to writing essays rather than prose. I don’t wanna be the asshole who complains about writing errors and then doesn’t offer to help, so here are the basics summarized as simply as I could manage on my phone (“dialogue tag” just refers to phrases like “he said,” “she whispered,” “they asked”):

“For most dialogue, use a comma after the sentence and don’t capitalize the next word after the quotation mark,” she said.

“But what if you’re using a question mark rather than a period?” they asked.

“When using a dialogue tag, you never capitalize the word after the quotation mark unless it’s a proper noun!” she snapped.

“When breaking up a single sentence with a dialogue tag,” she said, “use commas.”

“This is a single sentence,” she said. “Now, this is a second stand-alone sentence, so there’s no comma after ‘she said.’”

“There’s no dialogue tag after this sentence, so end it with a period rather than a comma.” She frowned, suddenly concerned that the entire post was as unasked for as it was sanctimonious.

[thewritinggrindstone]

And!

“If you’re breaking dialogue up with an action tag”—she waves her hands back and forth—”the dashes go outside the quotation marks.”

[writing-is-a-martial-art]

Reblog to save a writer’s life.

[jaydove-writes]

Thank you

[localcanadiancryptid22]

Oh my god thank you. No wonder grammarly keeps complaining about my punctuation when I boot my writing up into word counter

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I hope everyone involved in the decision to make astronauts use Outlook on their way to the moon never goes a day of their lives without stepping in a fire ant colony

[autistobrat]

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

[poetry-protest-pornography]

This is the best one

[ruffboi-mags]

(in case anyone needs context, since i know there's a bunch of younguns who didn't even know the "It's gonna be May" meme... The song playing is NSync's song "It's Gonna Be Me", the guy in the mint green t-shirt is NSync member Lance Bass, and the guy in the pink hoodie is his husband Michael.)

[elephino-but-i-need-a-name]

I need to you all to know that the original caption for this is : “POV your friend mispronounces a word once and now it’s a national holiday.”

[alien-slushie]

I really need more of Danny thinking hes the "stupid" one in his family.

Like yeah sure write it where he could get good grades if he had the time for homework/studying. But, from Danny's point of veiw, he has to seriously work for his grades. Sure Jazz studied, but honestly she never really needed to study, she could have gotten all As without it, but she liked studying and preparing for collage so she did.

So yeah, compared to his family, Danny's the stupid one, and its a mentality the plagues him.

It doesn't matter that he got into some of the same schools as Jazz, Jazz got full ride scholarship offers, meaning shes smarter.

It doesn't matter that Danny's papers on ecto-biology are more accurate than his parents', and was revered by many ecto-biologists, Danny was just less bais than his parents, and he had the advantage of actually being part ghost.

To be fair, this is only Danny' point of veiw and how he sees himself. Jazz, and his parents don't think hes stupid, if anything they think hes the smartest in their family because hes the most socially aware out of all of them. They know what a hardworker he is when he actually cares and puts in the effort, and they hate he can't see how smart he really is.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You know as an American born in the late 90s I’ve watched my country blow up foreigners on tv supposedly in the interest of national security since I was a toddler but quite frankly we live on a natural fortress of a continent with friendly nations to our north and south and have been attacked on our own soil literally two times in the past hundred years and we have military bases on every inhabited continent on earth. It’s never made sense to do these things for “national security”. It never will make sense unless you value the shareholders of weapons companies over the lives of children. And apparently a concerning amount of people do.

[even-more-nonsense]

Failure to reach the heavens

[hhhhhhhbees]

HOLY SHIT

[fallow-grove]

yknow what would be a fucked up phone feature

[ahno-nimus]

No, I don't. Please, proceed.

[fallow-grove]

if whenever you plugged it in you had to manually enable charging mode and there was no built in way to automate it

[ahno-nimus]

That would be fucked up.

[fallow-grove]

yknow what would be more fucked up

[ahno-nimus]

Football field full of viruses.

[ahno-nimus]

Abraham Lincoln teeth sculpture.

[ahno-nimus]

Really big vampire.

[ahno-nimus]

Inside-out Sweden.

[fallow-grove]

if they added automatic charging mode but paywalled it

[ahno-nimus]

Yeah that's pretty fucked up.

[ros-sauce]

Not to be the world's youngest boomer but I hate that everything's trying to be touchscreens now

[ros-sauce]

Washing machines and stoves and all that ought to have dials. It's not right for them to not have dials. Put them back they can't breathe

[ros-sauce]

WAIT A SECOND YEAH. THIS IS PART OF THE PUSH TO MAKE TECH MORE INTIMIDATING AND LESS REPARABLE ISN'T IT. Tech CEOs when I get my hands on you

[dragon-in-a-fez]

they got fucking stoves with capacitive touch buttons now. right where the spilled pasta water goes.

[kawuli]

bring back levers that go ka-chunk