forever sleepy 😴

they let me keep the baby 😳 30

[gateway-2000-deactivated2025111]

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[tumblethroughthekaleidoscope]

Mother Mary (2026)

Anne Hathaway as Mary and Michaela Coel as Sam

[depsidase]

[custer-mp3]

they really don't make Bigass Cabinet For Computer anymore. we were at the used furniture warehouse the other day & they had so many. that's the way things should be. lock away that wretched machine when you're done looking at it

[custer-mp3]

Lock That Fucking Thang Up

[valtsv]

i just know there was a weird little girl in the middle ages out there stealing snake's eggs and putting them in her family's chicken coop in the hope of hatching a basilisk

[valtsv]

god i love the internet because if i said shit like this to people irl they'd probably just stare at me blankly but when i post it online everyone in the notes reacts like this

[maja-paja]

[topgunvolleyballscene]

how often are you getting a headache

daily

weekly

monthly

couple times a year

yearly or less

Remaining time: 3 days 20 hours

[topgunvolleyballscene]

how often are you getting a tummy ache

daily

weekly

monthly

every couple months

yearly or less

Remaining time: 3 days 20 hours

[topgunvolleyballscene]

Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too

[killy-deactivated20241228]

[evilwizard]

[hunter-rodrigez]

So I do 3D modeling and printing as a hobby, and a few weeks ago I designed wheel guards meant to prevent office chairs from running over cables and clothes... or your pet's tail.

I got the idea from cowcatchers old locomotives used to have.

Anyways, yesterday I uploaded the model to Thingiverse, and just hours after uploading it, the Community Relationship Manager of the whole website left a comment suggesting I enter the model into a competition that's currently being held on the site.

So I did... and now it's in third place not even a day later. First place is $500, but the competition still has a month to go.

Then the Community Manager contacted me again, telling me they want to feature my model in an upcoming design promotion.

Just, what is happening? I mostly made this thing for myself in, like, an hour, and now it's suddenly super popular? This is all a little bit overwhelming 😵‍💫

Other models I worked on for weeks didn't get nearly as popular. I swear, it's impossible to predict what people will like.

Anyways, if you want to print the wheel guards yourself, you can get the model here or here.

I also made a quiet version you can stick furniture felt pads on.

[these-violet-delights-fic]

People love simple, extremely practical things. I hope you win!

[enki2]

[beardaxemcbreadhobnob]

big fan of the way moles sit in dirt with their arms out like they’re in a hot tub

[beardaxemcbreadhobnob]

decadence….

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[nick-nellson]

Mamma Mia! (2008) dir. Phyllida Lloyd

[vulcanette-deactivated20260506]

the new dj crazytimes song … now that’s what I call music!

[fleetwood-mac-andcheese]

[itsbasil]

you put those tags on this post where they belong

[wetorturedsomefolks]

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.