parenting commitment level 3000
apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy
Not today Justin
Keni
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Discoholic 🪩
Stranger Things

JBB: An Artblog!

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
AnasAbdin

Origami Around
noise dept.

PR's Tumblrdome
art blog(derogatory)
hello vonnie

Janaina Medeiros

No title available

JVL
DEAR READER

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

@theartofmadeline

if i look back, i am lost

seen from Türkiye

seen from Italy

seen from Brazil

seen from Belgium
seen from Bulgaria
seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from France
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Uzbekistan
seen from Brazil

seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from United States
@butterscroch
parenting commitment level 3000
apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy
disabilities are not superpowers, that being said having auditory processing disorder my entire life made me insane at freestyling, cause my mental libary of homophobic phrases (rhymes) is massive and keeps expanding every day
HOMOPHONIC PHRASES HOMOPHONIC HOMOPHONIC SOUNDALIKES RHYMES ECHOS
HAVING AN EXTENDED LIBRARY OF HOMOPHOBIC PHRASES DOES NOT HELP YOU WITH FREESTYLING UNLESS YOU ARE EMINEM.
NOT THIS ONE IM BEGGING
Happy 21st of September!
this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*
i know what i’m doing dw
Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?
Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck
POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK
desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”
You're failing.
You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY
Pluto is Roman, not Greek
?????
Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.
I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me
HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*
I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe
Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano
FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER
wrong.
Achievement Unlocked:
Lightning Bait
You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.
FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN
I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz
For science
OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND
HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE
ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)
POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE
HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE
APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE
KRATOS: GOD OF WAR
HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE
APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE
ares is the god of war, not kratos
WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN
I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore
op god of war is not official greek mythology lmao
Someone needs to read a Percy Jackson book
hey is this still post of the year or
how's the hole op? want some snacks? a blanket? a shovel to dig yourself out?
I'D LIKE OUT NOW I THINK
this is frying me so bad
if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te
*eeoo
Okay th*n. *f you’r* sure about th*s.
Old Macd*nald had a farm.
*eieio
i’m going to shatter you like glass
World Heritage Post
"autistic people need instructions for every simple task" okay how about we talk about the neurotypicals not following clear instructions. what do you mean it didn't work the way you wanted, i gave you the instructions. oh you didn't follow them? you didn't see where i clearly indicated the directions you were supposed to follow for this task? and you're shocked it didn't turn out right? you decided to pull a Jared I'm 19 and go rogue? you're surprised the road less travelled isn't fucking paved because no one travels it? do you get off on this
nice try but that doesn't work on me. appreciate the attempt tho <3
There's a whole genre of comments on recipe blogs where someone says they left out a key "unhealthy" ingredient and the food turned out like shit, so the recipe is shit.
shoutout to whoever stole my amazon package containing nothing but a single pair of shoelaces.
World Heritage Post
internet politics and real-world politics have gotten so separated, and pretty soon all this internet weirdness is gonna come crashing into real life and politicians are gonna start throwing around words like “SJW” and “anime communist” and “dark enlightenment” and it’s just gonna be the most ridiculous fucking thing
date of origin: 13th of april, 2015.
happy 10 year anniversary!
This post.
This fucking post.
It is in some ways, the only piece of evidence I have that there was a time Before.
Little gem from Reddit
lord the peasants are so loud today
pheasants. PHeasants. The birds
Don't you mean classist Typo, as in discriminating against poor people, and not classicist, the type of academic who studies antiquity in southern Europe?
World Heritage Post
Tumblr Code.
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.
always reblog tumblr identification
World Heritage Post
Schrödinger’s boys
FUCK
What about cracking open a cold milkshake
As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.
mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town
i think “video games aren’t really the violent child-corrupting threat some parents worry they are” and “certain circles of gamer culture are incredibly toxic and can lead people down dangerous/hateful ideological rabbit holes” are ideas that can absolutely coexist
Artificial violence is not actually a corrupting influence but hanging out with assholes sure is.
the real corruption was the friends we made along the way
biggest reason i make so many flop posts on here is because everything i do reeks of the desperation to make a popular tumblr post. this is deliberate, because it is what protects me from ACTUALLY making a popular tumblr post. so long as i crave it, tumblr fame will never find me. it is only when i turn away, and accept my fate of obscurity, that people will lay their eyes upon me. and it WILL be because i tripped and fell on my stupid face while i was turning
time for people to do the funniest thing ever
Do not.
You can only reblog this today.
I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again