Critical Role + random shit @caduceus-tealeaf-derolo - Tumblr Blog

there's still a week left for the funniest possible thing to happen (charles dying before the coronation) like to charge reblog to cast or whatever

nyctosaurid

the thing all sherlock holmes adaptations get wrong is making the guy an irredeemable asshole who treats everyone like shit . not only is it not reflective of the original stories they miss that “nice, smart, well mannered dude who snorts coke when he needs to think” is possibly the funniest character ever devised

aerialsquid

I feel like the modern equivalent is that guy you think is super well put together until you find out exactly how much red bull he ingests on a regular basis.

domicileensnared

Modern Sherlock is that very nice English Professor-seeming guy who you bring a problem and while walking from the door of his office to his desk he starts explaining the entire solution you need

And upon reaching his desk he’s like “Excuse me one moment.” and pulls out one of those huge Monster canisters they legally aren’t allowed to make anymore, cracks the whole thing, chugs it, takes a deep breath, and then nods at you and is like “Alright, and then what you need to do is…”

younggayanddoingokay

Imagine how much better the dynamic of bbc sherlock could have been if they did this.

kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201

why even modernize it to energy drinks??? coke didn’t go anywhere. we still have coke. energy drinks aren’t NEARLY chaotic enough.

Its is more like you hiring some guy to do private investigation about how your husband maybe cheating on you and Sherlock comes to your house high as fuck. Walks into your living room and without taking a moment to even talk to you or sign any paperwork, he turns around—pupils as big as god—and just says

“Its your best friend Brenda. I’ll email you the invoice.”

and walks right out of your house.

bairnsidhe

Because when it was written cocaine was legal and even considered healthy and useful by some laypeople, even though doctors knew it wasn’t, and Watson was always trying to stop people from encouraging Sherlock’s addiction because HE KNEW BETTER.

So consider this, Holmes, at 2am, desperately searching the flat for the stashes of NOS cans, only to keep coming up with passive aggressive pamphlets about the dangers of caffeine overdose.

Watson wakes up to a stench like Satan’s ass to find Sherlock sitting by his bed with a re-heated pot of cold brewed Deathwish Coffee that had been hidden in the back of the toilet tank (brewing) for five months. Sherlock is trying to say he’s proud of John’s cleverness in finding most of the stashes, but he’s passed into the fifth dimension and all John gets is a creepy vibrating grin and a sound like a shaken cat.

TLDR, Sherlock did die when he fell off the Falls, but he was so coked up his body didn’t stop moving until like a decade later.

shadowmaat

Sherlock as one of those cryptid types the baristas talk about (there’s a post floating around somewhere) who comes in and orders a venti with as many shots as they are legally allowed to add, plus a few more for good measure (and a hefty tip) and then adds energy drink on top of it before chugging the whole thing, to the absolute horror of the cafe staff.

junietwohundred

This is the kind of Sherlock Holmes discourse I demand on my dash. Bring me more!

itsclydebitches

Further discourse! Everyone is missing the fact that Sherlock used cocaine to “escape from the commonplaces of existence” when he didn’t have a case. The drugs are a substitute. Which means that when you hire him he’s stone-cold sober and JUST AS WEIRD.

So it’s more like realizing that your flatmate with the caffeine/sometimes drug death wish will only chill the fuck out when he has some strange mystery to unravel, so you spend your free time scouring reddit posts that might actually feature a real missing person. Or a ghost. You really don’t care which at this point. When you finally find something your flatmate is THRILLED and straight up stops eating because he thinks he can survive on intellectual curiosity alone, and yeah that’s not good, but it’s better than what he was doing to himself before. Your success is comparative, okay? You stick around for the meeting partly because you’re curious, partly because this is your home too remember, and partly because you’ve found that writing up these insane excursions helps pay off your student loans. Your Patreon is thriving. The entire time your flatmate is interviewing this poor SOB he keeps breaking into manic grins and you’re kicking him under the table, trying to help him remember that others aren’t happy about a death in the family. Halfway through he pulls a cigarette from a stash in his smelly bedroom slipper, offering the client one and yeah, that’s very nice, but… no. No thank you. He’s dressed impeccably and has a violin worth millions just lying on the floor, but the flat as a whole looks like a tornado just blew through and there’s something growing on the walls beside the makeshift lab. Is he rich? Dirt poor? Impossible to tell based on the surroundings. The entire time he rattles off observations about the client not at all related to the case and his continuing good mood depends entirely on how impressed the guy is. If he mentions “magic tricks” or “I saw that on Youtube” you’re prepped for damage control.

By 8:00pm you’ve finally convinced your flatmate to look up from his research and go half on a pizza, but the second it gets there he shrieks in excitement and runs out the door, demanding that you follow with your legally dubious gun. You apologize profusely to the delivery guy and double his tip, begging him not to call the cops. No, not because you’re afraid of arrest, you just know the head of the local precinct and he’s a pain in the ass.

You run after your flatmate knowing damn well you have to be up early tomorrow because despite maintaining a private practice you still don’t make enough to get your own apartment.

You are living your best life.

janetm74

That last post…nailed it

tjwock

Reminder that most of Sherlock Holmes is now in the public domain.

Like…. just saying.

maramahan

Personally I see Sherlock as ADHD and no one will ever convince me otherwise

I mean — it’s textbook hyperfixation/understimulation right there — I Also forget to eat and sleep and do Human Things when I’m vibing with whatever makes my brain go, and I Also take (medically prescribed) stimulants when I need to think. And Also adhd understimulation makes mundane existence an agony that one will do nearly anything to escape but at least in the modern day we have things like video games and netflix so it’s a little easier to actually get that escape without y’know completely self-destructing along the way (Sherlock Holmes plays Among Us to fill the void between cases change my mind)

And while it’s entirely legit that a modern ADHD sherlock might self-medicate with energy drinks and home-brewed toilet-tank-coffee, I’d LOVE to see an adaptation where Sherlock just. has a prescription?

So instead of hunting down his secret Bad Habit Stash, John could be like “hey, sherlock- the pharmacy called, your meds are ready” and then sherlock would be all “LATER JOHN IM ON A CASE RN I DONT NEED THEM” and John’d be like “sherlock no that’s not how that works”

And then later once the case has been solved and the existential agony of understimulation sets back in, Sherlock could be like “hey John pass me my meds” And John might be “sherlock you already took them this morning I saw you” “yeah but they’re not working yet” “dude it takes time for them to kick in” “sure sure OR I could just take more. I missed some days y’know I gotta catch up” “sherloCK NO I am a DOCTOR that’s NOT HOW THAT WORKS” And then sherlock heaves a gigantic sigh and grabs a can of RedBull that’d been stuffed between the couch cushions and John like swats him with a shoe or something because SHERLOCK NO do you KNOW what that stuff DOES to your HEART PLEASE STOP

madenthusiasms

I want this more every time it crosses my dash.

tikkunolamorgtfo

Dr Watson: Holmes’ Enrichment Zookeeper

americachavez

obsessed with the guy who just won gold in windsurfing

themunofprovidence

Wasn’t there a whole thing in the comics about aang getting offended over some air nomad super fans using the arrow since you have to be a master to get your arrow tattoos? And basically the super fan group was doing a cultural appropriation by having arrow tats? I feel like that was a whole ass thing in the comics.

americachavez

well i have great news that will ease your mind. air benders aren’t real

bright-eyed

another random epiphany i had on my drive home from the store was that things that are the most obvious often feel the most profound. i was looking at the sunset through my window. i was like “this is beautiful and it changes all the time so every sunset is a little different and also beautiful.” which led me to think “if you look at the earth from space, the clouds are never pink or blue or yellow or orange, they are just white and grey all the time. in space perhaps the sunsets are not very different or very beautiful.” which led me to think “the sunsets are only beautiful because i am so small.” which led me to think “so many things are only beautiful because i am so small, or if not only then they are at least much more beautiful than they might otherwise be, either because my vantage point of smallness allows me to see details that big things wouldn’t see, like when i see the flash of the sun at sunset with my little eyes on this big planet, or because my briefness finds vastness so incredible cuz it’s so much bigger than me, like when i sit under a very very old and very very tall tree.” and this was all somewhat obvious but it didn’t make the feeling of epiphany go away or diminish at all

persimmonns

The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin / @lobotomybarbie / ? / @citrusflowers / fermentation night by Molly Cheang illustration & painting / 8th to 6th century BCE figurine of a woman baking, Akhzib / @3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat / @moss-is-nice / ? / Everything Leads to You by Nina Lacour

smalltownboymp3

milf-adjacent

ladymaplecourt

Posts that hit different on Passover

ramnamsatyahai-deactivated20210

sloth-incarnate

Never has this gif been more appropriate

gem-femme

A vegetable is a social construct.

crawly

just learned about a building in london that is so poorly designed it becomes a death ray that melts cars and creates a downdraft effect with wind so powerful that it knocks full grown adults to the ground

crawly

imagine being knocked over by a gust of wind from this ugly ass building and then being cooked TO DEATH by the sun reflection like what a way to go

millenniumitem

i learned about this like last year or somethign and this building is literally th satan come alive. building that tries to fucking kill you and fry you like an egg

crawly

top ten buildings that Want To Harm You

angstytwat

this building is like I Will Flip You Over Like A Hamburger And Fucking Cook You

alicentsgf

The use of the present tense isn’t quite accurate because they did fix the issue immediatly after this so its no longer a death ray but yes it did partially melt a very expensive Jaguar. Its nickname ‘the walkie talkie’ got beautifully bastardised to ‘the walkie scorchie’ following this. Its also widely accepted to be the ugliest of London’s skyscrapers.

And I just wanna bring up the fact that this is not the only monstrosity built by Rafael Vinoly - he’s also responsible for the eyesore of Manhattan that is 432 Park Avenue.

Residents here have repeatedly complained about the realities of living in this haunted pool noodle, including ‘catastrophic’ floods, loud bangs and creaks, and an elevator that refuses to work when its windy.

I would say we should stop letting this guy make buildings, but he only seems to fuck over millionaires so I’m not in a hurry to end his career just yet.

alicentsgf

@branovices it’s my pleasure to inform you that the Vdara ‘death ray’ Hotel is also the work of Rafael Vinoly

dankmemeuniversity

deadaccount2000

Big Warning

If you see a police car or a cop with a speaker looking thing on it, FUCKING RUN. It’s known as an LRAD (Long Range Acoustic Device), a device that, when activated, can permanently damage your hearing and cause serious harm. If you’re too close, you’ll be left in a lot of pain and squirming on the ground permanently deaf. Ear plugs do not work. Unless you have one of those shooting range headphones, you do not stand a chance against them. Again, if you see them pull up, RUN. This is what they look like.

Stay safe.

sunfortune

To the comments asking if this is real/can cause hearing loss. Not only is it real, but the NYPD lost a federal lawsuit in 2017 for using it on peaceful protestors, during the Black Lives Matter protests for Eric Garner in 2014, and caused them permanent damage. It was spotted again at protests this week.

https://www.fastcompany.com/40585221/piercing-sound-can-be-excessive-police-force-federal-court-rules

also heres an episode of brooklyn 99 where they talk about how cool this thing is

pee-pan

Said this in an earlier post but if you see this thing RUN FROM IT IMMEDIATELY IN A HORIZONTAL DIRECTION (left/right from it). The best earplugs will not help, they only protect about 30 decibels of sound and these things shoot 160, and are effective for about a mile. Earplugs will do very little (better than nothing ig!) so the best move is to keep your mouth closed and GET OUT OF THERE. They will cause headaches, panic, vomiting and PERMANENT hearing loss. They used these in Portland yesterday (6/5), so yes, it’s a real thing cops are using now.

e-the-village-cryptid

The media isn’t reporting on it as much, but BLM protests are still happening in March 2021. Bringing this back for another year of fighting for justice.

laissezferre

catherine tate and david tennant performing genders (plural) in much ado about nothing (2011)

laissezferre

@everyone asking where to watch this, it’s on youtube! part 1, part 2

arborealgargoyle

I made the absolutely fucktacular mistake of giving my dog buttons that I recorded words on to talk with and she keeps waking me up in the thrice damned wee hours o the night to tell me and doubtless she could not pOSSIBLY wait until morning to say that she wants to eat the cat’s food

arborealgargoyle

apparently when my sleep cycle is disrupted at a very precise interval my view of the universe fractures and alters because I may have not been religious before but now I believe deeply that god with a capital G denied Dogs with a lowercase d the ability to speak for a Reason and we should respect Her infinite wisdom on this matter

arborealgargoyle

I have soared too close to the sun, in my arrogance I have built a tower too high unto the sky- it is made of cheap plastic recordable buttons and it is about to topple and take human language, as my dog knows it, down with it

arborealgargoyle

Me: *is awoken to the sound of my own voice echoing in the dark passages of the night*

Me: How could I have laughed at Victor, how could I have scorned his anguish in the sight of his glorious but unnatural creation??? Only now do I understand, only now-

My dog in the background who has taken my voice as her own: dinner dinner dinner

itsqueenshroom

my bf and I have the same fucking brain

Quiplash is the greatest game ever made because it allows for things like this and you can’t change my mind.

nylarac

ragsy

glowstickhaloboy

question was how to get kicked out of hogwarts

shadywinters

Top tier answers here

nomorelonelydays

Literally heard a convo at the library where a guy was telling a girl that he’s an omega and the girl telling him that she’s a beta, and my mind just did not automatically connect the context to fraternity pledge classes at all and I just whispered to myself “what the fuck?? What the fuck??”

cyhiraeth

a comedy of errors

slothful-rabbit

I laughed so fucking hard at this

potatochipship

thepastisaroadmap

[Image description: a video followed by 6 flags.

The video, described by @holyfunnyhistoryherring, is a captioned tik tok by @thatrobinhood, showing a white guy with short brown hair and a longer beard, wearing a bathrobe, holding a drink and talking to the camera. He says, “So I was at a tractor-pull one time (yes, I am exactly the kind of redneck that goes to tractor-pulls) and this guy showed up, I guess with his boyfriend, um, I’m not a 100% sure. But he was wearing, uh, pink cowboy boots. He had homemade cut-of jean shorts, he had a, uh, flannel crop top, and he had a pink John Deer trucker hat.Anyway, one of the rednecks behind me was looking at this guy and he’s like ‘I don’t know why anybody would come to a tractor-pull dressed like that’ and the other redneck who’s behind me goes ’listen, if he wants to come to a tractor pull dressed like that, it’s his God given right. What the fuck do you think freedom, Earl?’ and now I really want a pride bumper sticker that says ‘What the fuck do you think freedom means, Earl?’”

The flags are the rainbow, bi, lesbian, pan, trans, and ace flags. The bi and ace flags have a different font from the others, but they each have “What the fuck do you think freedom means, Earl!?” written over them with uppercase black text.

End image description]

duckbunny

kindness is a discipline, not a trait

animatedamerican

Yes.

As with many disciplines, kindness may come more easily to some than to others. But it is nonetheless something you can learn, something you can teach, something you can work at.

Something you do, rather than something you are.

emo-church

I saw this series of tweets and thought I should share it here. To anyone who wears docs: please be aware of lace code. Although many newer/younger alternative folk are unaware of it and it might seem “outdated”, it’s still important to be aware of (especially if you plan on going to any protests). You don’t want to be disrespectful or unintentionally align yourself with the wrong people.

gaymageclub

find me a place in 2020 that genuinely uses (or even knows about) the lace code. these were probably people who are way too online and found some old tumblr post about lace code and believed it

emo-church

I said this in the tags before but I’ll say it here instead so that people will be able see it in the “reblogs” section of this post:

I’ve heard people argue that lace code is not important or “a thing” anymore. It’s true that a lot of younger folk are unaware of it and don’t follow it, especially since the rise of 2000s emo culture had kids wearing docs with all different color laces and other “punk-inspired fashion” without being aware of the culture. I totally get it.

I think it’s still important to be aware of it though. You can see in the screenshots above there are still people who know about it. And there are still groups who use it (as well as other things) to identify each other in a crowd. Obviously if you’re living your daily life just minding your own business people probably aren’t gonna think twice about your laces. Nobody is gonna think anything of a random teenage girl at the mall wearing white laces, for example. But at certain scenes or among certain crowds, it has meaning to it and I think it’s good to be aware of that. I think asking someone not to wear the white laces on their docs at a blm protest is fair. If anything, it’s just a matter of safety.

emo-church

omg I really should have put everything in one long post. I already said this in another reblog ;.; Yes, the colors can vary depending on the area and can sometimes even vary among different scenes in the same area. However, the “white laces = white supremacy” thing is pretty common in a lot of areas. It’s definitely not just an American thing. It literally started in the UK as a way to distinguish racist skinheads from the originals/non-racists.

emo-church

This is probably the last time I’ll reblog this but here are some asks I got regarding this post. I thought I should add them here!

century-of-the-fruitbat

I've seen multiple late teens-to-20-something nazi skinheads with white ladder laced boots in 2020. And yes, you can 100% tell they mean it, so be careful.

thespecialpsycho

Big example of being ready to educate over being ready to throw down.

manicpixiemagicgirl

As a white punk from Dublin Ireland I can tell you that lace code is serious and I've only heard the excuse that it looks good being spouted by nazi skins who were trying to talk their way out of getting beat up. No matter what your politics, dressing like a white supremacist is never cute 😷

skepticalspectacles

I'm in west coast Canada and lace code is ABSOLUTELY a thing here.

rudjedet

Controversial Truths About Ancient Egypt Masterpost

The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction

The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity

We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either

Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender

The gods didn’t actually have animal heads

Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)

The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous

Noses (and ears, and arms) broke off statues and reliefs for a variety of reasons, none of which are “there is a widespread archaeological conspiracy to hide the Egyptian ethnicity”

thatlittleegyptologist

The carvings at Abydos aren’t modern machines but recarvings over old carvings. Sure they look like them but if you can read hieroglyphs and know that Ramesses II will even usurp the carvings of his own father just to be a little shit

rudjedet

‘No soot on the ceilings and walls of the Dendera temple!’ is actually because of extensive restoration works and not because Egyptians were in on shit like Baghdad “batteries”

While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago

The pyramid is the simplest, sturdiest shape with which to build and many different cultures discovered this in their own time. There were never any weird fish humans/aliens involved

rudjedet

The sphinx of Gizah is only an approximate 5000 years old; the 10,000 year/rain erosion nonsense is proven hokum

Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose

Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards

Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”

The Battle of Kadesh ended in a stalemate (twice)

rudjedet

While they had feline deities throughout their history, Egyptians didn’t actually worship cats themselves. This was a later Greek/Ptolemaeic addition

It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that

Herodotus lied about a lot of things and many misconceptions about ancient Egypt can be traced back to his Greek ass

rudjedet

I can’t believe I forgot my favourite Hill to Die On

Seth was not the god of “evil”, and despite his chaos providing a foil to order, he wasn’t completely villified until very late in Egyptian history, when he became associated with despised foreign enemies

rudjedet

Hats off to the few of you who’re reblogging this with tags saying you’re going to check my claims later. You make me not entirely despair of this hellhole.

Here are some vetted Egyptological books/sources (that are by and large appropriate for a lay-audience) you can find most, if not all of the above:

Lehner, M., The Complete Pyramids

Wilkinson, R. H., The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt

Hornung, E., The One and the Many: Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt

Dunand, F. & Zivie-Coche, C., Gods and Men in Egypt

Kemp, B., Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization

Bard, K., An Introduction to the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt

Stevenson Smith, W., The Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt

Kitchen, K. A., The Life and Times of Ramesses II, King of Egypt

Sweeney, D., Sex and Gender (in Ancient Egypt)

McDowell, A. G., Village Life in Ancient Egypt: Laundry Lists and Love Songs

Te Velde, H., Seth, God of Confusion