Captain Brittnicorn

[neverthere12345]

poppin’ that bussy

[1999gorl]

“WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS” DSFKLJDSKLJKLJFSDKJLXCZ 

[companionwitch]

Merry Crisis

[naamahdarling]

*voices in unison to the tune of O Christmas Tree/O Tannenbaum*

Oh ChrisChris Tree, Oh ChrisChris Tree, How lovely are your faces!

*with declining control and barely-suppressed laughter*

Covered in celebrities, Mostly actors and one former governor of New Jersey!

[theoreocat]

[goddess-scarlette]

i needed the full songs worth of this not 15 seconds

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Have an unproblematic cute. Definitely turn the song on.

[polyamorous-tangles]

Because everyday needs to begin with a smile

[theoreocat]

And again this shows up at the top of my activity feed 🔥

[monfevre-deactivated20180114]

the thrashy thrashy by the fridge gets cuter each time

[van-goghing-to-hell]

AAAAAAA

[xenablade]

@killerqueens-squishbeans

[whatwhiteswillneverknow]

White Woman Discusses Her ‘Black Woman’ Transition on Maury

Martina Big started out as a white woman, and now she’s here ... with Maury Povich, explaining why she chose to drastically change her appearance. The plastic-surgery-obsessed Big appeared on Maury, wearing a gigantic “Black Girls Rock” necklace and her best kinky weave. Even as the audience sat dumbfounded and confused, you could tell Maury was thinking, “I should have just did my usual paternity-testing show”.

When Maury Povich is a voice of reason, you need to check your life decisions.

[iwishthiswasacreativeurl]

i’m sorry i had to add these audience reactions because i felt every single one of these emotions while watching this

[hheennttaaii]

[evangelworldorder]

Top 5 curve of all time.

[square-enix]

when i was a little kid i got bullied on the playground so my mom asked me “what did jesus do when people were mean to him?” and i thought about it for a second and then started crying and screamed “he DIED”

[thingstolovefor]

[bitchycode]

[thingsilearnedfromsatc]

[brunette-nymphette]

This is the best episode ever

[chief0keefe]

[krabby-kronicle]

[adventuresinchemistry]

Least favorite lab equipment?

idk it really depends on the day

but my favorite lab equipment will always be our hand crank centrifuge

[jewishdragon]

im sorry the what

[adventuresinchemistry]

this bad boy, for when you’re too lazy to walk up two flights of stairs to the shared lab space with the preparatory centrifuge but not too lazy to put some elbow grease into spinning your shit down

[metricparty-deactivated20221104]

Method: Samples were centrifuged at whatever rotations per minute (RPM) Joey “the beast” McRipped could achieve on his saucy days. We’re not sure how fast, but it was impressive. Supernatant decanted off and….

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

reblog if you’ve ever been horrified by your own Customer Service voice

[c-bassmeow]

she is so FAKE 

[tastefullyoffensive]

George W. Bush is the Michael Scott of Presidents. (via mo_wad/brokuski)

[fuck-customers]

Lmao this American girl walked up to a Hungry Jacks (Burger King) register with her drink and really, really loudly (I was at the other side of the place) proclaimed: “I asked for Lemonade, you gave me Sprite” in a really bitchy, entitled voice.

The cashier (and everyone within earshot) just looked at her like “the fuck is wrong with you”

In Australia, Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned.

Enjoy your 90c refund you cheap ass ho.

[jhenne-bean]

“Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned”

[freshest-tittymilk]

@fleamont can you verify?

[movednowbye-deactivated20221103]

Yeah this is correct. Lemonade is sprite. Clear fizzy liquid type thing. Solo is closer to what American lemonade is but we don’t actually have what you guys consider lemonade anyway so she was never going to get what she wanted lmao.

[freshest-tittymilk]

Y'ALL AIN’T GOT LEMONADE?!?!??

madness…

[kingjaffejoffer]

“we don’t actually have what you guys consider lemonade“

[thetallblacknerd]

That entire continent exists on a different realm of existence

[blasianxbri]

What the… Lmao

[yosoyleche]

Why is it called lemonade then? 🤔

[fiontan]

@casualswfan What is wrong with you guys?

[seascrapes]

IT IS THE SAME DAMN THING. You Yankees and your fifty brands of the same :P

[fiontan]

LEMONADE AND SPRITE ARE NOTHING ALIKE

[verdytai]

Things heating up in the drink fandom

[fairytalesandimaginings]

I’m pretty sure the same is true in the UK at least was in 2010 except Sprite didn’t seem to be a common brand so I’d ask for Sprite get blank looks eventually figured out to ask for lemonade 

[questions-within-questions]

Sprite is a recognised brand here, but it’s not omnipresent, it is also considered a brand of lemonade.

[larena]

This is fucked up.

[tparadox]

Sprite: lemon-lime soda (pop/carbonated beverage). Lemonade: lemons, water, and sugar. Still.

[zarekthelordofthefries]

LEMONADE IS NOT CARBONATED WHATT HEFUCC CK ARE YOU ALL DOIGN

[taiey]

Living? Sensibly?

Also on what planet does Sprite have lime in it.

[romansnow]

Sprite, the lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage, is made on Earth.

Earth is the third planet from the Sun, the densest planet in the Solar System, the largest of the Solar System’s four terrestrial planets, and the only astronomical object known to harbor Sprite.

The people of Earth are known as “Earthlings” or “Spriteloids” interchangeably (although not to each other).

[elsandifer]

At least in the UK, if you order lemonade you’ll sometimes get Sprite, but if it’s proper it’s a lemon soda akin to the Italian gassosa - less sweet than Sprite.

[froborr]

Oh shit, I’ve had gassosa, it’s AMAZING.

[elexuscal]

I just want to say that the whole ‘lemonade and Sprite are interchangeable’ is pretty common throughout Asia as well, in my experience

[kingkilling-and-stormlight]

@bre-e-e-e what madness is this?!?!?!?!

[bre-e-e-e-deactivated20170219]

@kingkilling-and-stormlight so… what you are all saying is. Lemonade is … not fizzy… in America?

[lierdumoa]

You guys have orange juice at least, right? Grapefruit juice? In the US, Lemonade is a juice, like orange juice, but made with lemons instead of oranges. You can buy “fresh squeezed lemonade” at many restaurants and fast food venues. Typically it’s diluted a bit with sugar water, so the sour flavor of the raw lemon juice isn’t so overpowering. 

In the south, it’s very common for people buy whole lemons and make their own lemonade at home using a citrus juicer.

[monanotlisa]

In Germany, you’d ask for “Limonade” and yeah, you may get a Sprite or a Fanta; it’ll always be a fizzy nonalcoholic drink and usually come in lemon, lime, orange flavor. Only in healthfood or hipster establishments would it ever be an actual juice drink.

[minim-calibre]

As a fan of homemade rosewater lemonade, I am twitching at the thought of sickly sweet carbonated beverages that taste like they were invented by someone who may have been in the same room as a citrus fruit once but can’t remember what it actually tastes like being called lemonade.

[orcasocks-blog]

Wtf did y'all think beyonce was talking about????

[scuttleboat]

oh wow I hadn’t even considered that. Like millions of people worldwide hearing the album title but not understanding what lemonade means even on the most superficial level.

[maramcgregor]

This is so epically disturbing. Lemonade is such an integral part of spring and summertime. I just … this breaks my brain and my heart. The cultural references too. Just, all the American shows that reference lemonade and people in other countries are thinking Sprite? There’s a reason kids do freshly squeezed lemonade stands. You can’t buy it like that from a store. And there’s nothing quite like screwing it up and getting the sugar ratio wrong. And parents grinning through the too sour or too sweet mess and praising your efforts. Lemonade Is a Thing.

[fastphoridae]

Wait does that mean Aussies make Shandies with sprite?????

[pandor-pandorkful]

Does this mean a significant portion of the global population don’t know what to do when life hands you lemons?

[fozmeadows]

Yes, Australians make Shandies with our carbonated soft drink lemonade, though if you’re using it as a mixer, you’re less likely to be using Sprite and more likely to be using Schweppes, which looks like this:

Like. We absolutely have a concept of flat, juice-based lemonade, but as an earlier commenter said, it’s a niche hipster speciality rather than the default, and even then, it’s still going to be premade rather than fresh. 

[jeremiagoeswoah]

OH GOD THAT’S WHY AMERICAN CHILDREN CAN MAKE IT AND SELL IT SO EASILY. I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW KIDS COULD MAKE A CARBONATED DRINK AT HOME.

[ryblogs]

[allnjstn-deactivated20250522]

Reblogging for Beyonce. This thread is gold.

[gaycoffeelover]

@cresselian

[kendallhaleart]

This came to me after living in a town for 5 years where if you aren’t married and having kids, everyone hates you.