Insert clever line here

Hello 27 she/her

[perfect-puppy]

[capitaobarba79]

[free-and-to-none-accountable]

It used to be cold. There used to be all these bugs.

[free-and-to-none-accountable]

Maybe he understood for the first time that to the boy he was himself an alien. A being from a planet that no longer existed. The tales of which were suspect. He could not construct for the child’s pleasure the world he’d lost without constructing the loss as well and he thought perhaps the child has known this better than he.

[dappercyborg]

The grass used to be green in the summer not brown

[middleearthorcseeksspaceorc]

In autumn, puddles would freeze overnight, and give the sharpest, sweetest snap when you stepped on them. All gone by late morning, but reappearing the next day with sharp crinkles and chimes.

[whatdoyoumeannospaces]

mayflies used to coat the road so thoroughly in spring that their corpses made the road more slippery than black ice.

[vrpltransdyke]

All I remember are the live bugs. I remember driving down the highway and openethe window, hundreds brought in by the draft. Saved from being splattered on the hood and windshield. Flying awkwardly as they mated midair.

I don't remember when the last time I saw one

[libraryogre]

Why did every gas station have the windshield cleaners? Because driving down the highway resulted in your windshield getting caked with dead bugs.

[ruins-of-gods]

There used to be winters here. Actual winters - snow so deep you had to carve through it. Snow so deep that shovelling the driveway was a day's affair, and my brother and I could hollow out the piles to make forts. Snow that you were never sure quite how deep it was, because it would compact under your boot before you reached the bottom.

This year there was not a single snowfall deep enough to survive the afternoon.

[catsi]

in grade 12 we were reading romeo and juliet and we were at the romantic-ass balcony scene and this hot girl in the class volunteered to read juliet’s parts and i put up my hand to volunteer for another part and the teacher goes ‘oh do you want to be the nurse, amanda?’ and i was like ‘no i wanna be romeo’ and the hot girl swiveled around in her seat to give me a Look™

she and i later ended up making out at a bunch of parties in university lmfao

[catsi]

in retrospect this moment was absolutely pivotal to my butch awakening but it was also just a lesbian power move

[eyeballs-2-entrails]

I too got a girlfriend over this play. In grade 10, I was reading the balcony scene to study with two other people (one guy and one beautiful girl) and I insisted point blank I had to read as romeo, because he had the most lines and I’m a dramatic little shit.

So the other two in my group are used to my antics by now. We’re all friends, so the pair of them decide that the one guy in our group gets to be the nurse. Now, my Juliet and I have been friends for a couple months by this point, so I decide to be a little more dramatic.

We put Juliet on a spinny chair, and pump it up as tall as it goes, and my baby, closeted lesbian ass crouches on the floor, ready to be as melodramatic as possible. Like, I’m about to do a rendition that makes William himself walk into the class and tell me to take it back a notch or twelve.

And then I look up.

And holy shit.

There she is, Juliet, haloed in the worst fluorescent light known to mortals across the globe. Light just streaming down around her, that weird off-green colour that it always is. And she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. My little gay soul is barely holding on as the words barely leave my lips, breathlessly. “But soft… what light from yonder window breaks?”

And Juliet was the sun. Romeo was not exaggerating that line at all.

Juliet and I have also been together for more than 4 years now. She’s every bit as spectacular as she was when I was a lovestruck teenage Romeo, kneeling on the yellowed linoleum floor of second block english.

[rebakitt3n]

[average-smoothie-enjoyer]

My favorite "humans are space orcs" idea is that trope where aliens kidnap some humans for their zoo, except it ends up like Jurassic Park. And the poor Alien Humanologists who were invited to the park are like:

"You mean you locked up a pack of curious, highly competitive persistence predators with NO enrichment in the enclosure? You FOOLS! If you had bothered to throw a basketball or half a box of Legos in there, KE-X9 would still be alive!

"Well of course they climbed the retaining wall! Did you think to study their evolutionary lineage AT ALL?"

[what-even-is-thiss]

The humans would find a way to use the basketball and legos to escape. I mean one time a guy somehow escaped from a prison in Mexico without breaking any laws so his escape would be legal so honestly given enough time the Jurassic park situation is inevitable.

[purplemuskrat]

Okay I HAD to look that up.

The guy's name is Joel Kaplan and he and his cellmate escaped via helicopter in 1971. The guards were busy with movie time!, and when they heard the chopper they thought it was an unannounced VIP visit so they scrambled to get into formation. They were so busy looking Official that Kaplan and his buddy just. Ran right past them. Whole thing took less than 2 minutes.

They got away with it because:

Kaplan owned the helicopter outright so no rental/leasing agency could claim improper use;

He and the pilot gave their real names when they crossed the border (idk if they didn't ask for anyone else's or...?);

Most importantly, it was a non-violent escape. Nobody was hurt and nothing was damaged.

Turns out that escaping prison is not, by itself, a crime in Mexico. "The person who tries to escape is seeking liberty . . . The basic desire for freedom is implicit inside everyone." Apparently a lot of countries hold that view. Felt some kinda ways, as an American, learning that.

Anyway Kaplan was also rumored to be a CIA agent so that's neat.

[revizyonist]

med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times

[revizyonist]

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

[ancelineonline]

I have four kids. I’ve had one or another of them need some kind of surgical procedure that requires anesthesia four or five times over the past 15 years.

This Tumblr post is the first time someone has explained to me *why* I couldn’t feed them before those instances.

I’m not stupid. I understood that just fine. Hell, my kids would have understood that just fine. But no one bothered to tell us.

[bowditch]

i did know this before having kids (i have six). we have a kid that's needed multiple procedures requiring anesthesia. and every single time, i am asked multiple times if i'm sure he was not given any food or water after a certain point.

every single time i have had to say, "i understand that if he had food or water, he could aspirate it into his lungs under anesthesia. i am not lying to you." THEN someone would make a little note and i would stop being repeatedly asked.

not a single time was that risk explained to me. the only reason it came up was because i already knew. i still don't understand why it isn't standard pre-op counseling or pre-op check information, when me as a parent acknowledging the actual risk also put THE MEDICAL STAFF at ease because i conveyed that i had informed understanding as reason to not lie about giving my kid food.

"maybe some people will get nervous and refuse surgery" okay so they need more counseling about risks and anxiety, not less information in a way that actually does endanger their child or themselves!

[arctic-turtle-cassiopeia]

Reblogging to save a life and teach medical professionals basic communication skills

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[jmtorres]

“buttercups” is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:

imo there’s correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

[demon-and-human]

Hello I would like to add to the confusion:

That purple fella is a Morning Glory as told by my mothers (texan)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

⬆️ morning glory

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#amazing work everyone hit the flowers

[savagedefectives]

‘previously undreamed-of’

[mx-chievous]

this just gave me a glimpse into an alternate reality where human society functions the way carpenter ant society does

[malgudinights]

We actually have something similar in India. It’s done for the festival of Janmashtami which celebrates the birth of Krishna. The story goes that when he was a baby, Krishna was always getting into pots of yogurt and white butter and just eating it by the handfuls. So his parents and village took to hanging the pots from the ceiling to keep it from him. But he and his friends would get long sticks and climb on each other’s shoulders and steal the pots anyway. So on Janmashtami now, people attempt to recreate his heist and it’s just the most adorable thing.

[useless-catalanfacts]

Castellers from Catalonia found out about this tradition in India, and they thought it was amazing that we had such a similar tradition so far away. So they went to India to meet them. They filmed it all and released it as a documentary on YouTube (called Dahi Handi - Documental viatge a l’India, you can find it easily).

Then in 2006, they invited a team of govindas from India to perform in Vilafranca’s square during their festivities. Vilafranca’s central square, especially during the Sant Fèlix festivities, is the place for castells. It’s the most important center for this tradition (people from Tarragona please don’t kill me for saying this but you know it’s true). And the Vilafranca colla (casteller group) is one of the best and most important ones in all Catalonia, they’re like superstars in the world of castells. So this is a huge honour to be invited by the castellers of Vilafranca. The govindas also received an official welcome in the city hall, and invited to a rehearsal of the Vilafranca castellers. They rehearsed together and then made a tower all together in Vilafranca’s central square, where the Vilafranca castellers were at the base to make the govindas’ structure stronger and higher:

(The ones with white shirt and black trousers are Indian govindas, the ones with white trousers and green shirts are the Catalan castellers from Vilafranca)

Everybody was very happy and the govindas and castellers got along together very well so, in 2019, 200 castellers from Vilafranca (including the mayor, who is a member) went to India to visit them again for the Janmashtami festivity (that @thepivanquisher​ explained) in Mumbai.

The day they arrived in India, the Vilafranca castellers did some castells in front of the Gateway of India monument, ending with two pilars where the anxenetes (the kids on top) unfolded a flag of India and a flag of Catalonia.

The castellers and govindas also rehearsed together in Mumbai. I’ve seen a video and it’s so lovely, it was in a square of a working class neighbourhood and it was full of people waiting to meet them.

The castellers were also invited to take part in the ritual before Janmashtami, and they were also received by the Islamic community of a neighbourhood of the city. They were very happy to be so well received.

And then the day came:

(That’s govindas doing their tower and behind you can see the Vilafranca castellers, in their usual clothes, cheering for the govindas).

(And that’s the castellers doing their castell after!)

The castellers also performed in a school in the Mumbai and used their rest of the time there to give support to the NGO Mumbai Smiles which helps fight against poverty in the slums.

(The castellers in a school)

Again, they got along very well and were happy to celebrate together their shared passion. They have also learnt from each other: the Catalans showed their method to the Indians so they now can build higher towers, and by looking at how Indians climb they learned how to be faster. That’s why they have invited each other to their countries more times after that.

I think it’s wonderful and I hope to see more of such exchanges 😄

(By the way, we don’t call them “human towers”. In Catalan, “castell” means “castle”. They are human castles, and “castellers”, the people who do it, means “castle-ers” or “castle builders”.)

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[fruitcakebro]

Holy moly they're GOOD. The music is fucking FIRE, and the outfits??? They're all so PRETTY???

[snoodly-boop]

Does anybody know who these are??? Do they have albums!! 🤩🤩🤩

[raspberryslut]

I was so curious that I had to go find this band. They're called Fortress Dwellers and they have a website with all of their socials!

They released an album too! I don't think this song is on it but the rest of their stuff is SO GOOD !!

MUSIC | Fortress Dwellers

Step into the fantasy world of Fortress Dwellers. A fantasy Renaissance musical collective blending epic original music, immersive performan

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

Went to the grocery store with my kindergartener. We weighed some bananas: 2 pounds even. We weighed a watermelon: 4 pounds even. We weighed some mangos: a little over 1 pound. We weighed the watermelon AND the bananas: 6 pounds even.

“That’s funny” said the child “because 2+4=6 and two pounds and four pounds is six pounds. It’s like the same as math!”

“What happens if you add 6+1?”

“SEVEN”

“What if we put one pound of mangos on the scale?” <mangos added>

“IT’S THE SAME!!”

“OK, what’s 7-4?”

“Three?”

“What if we take the four pound watermelon off the scale?” <watermelon removed>

“Mama! Are you telling me math works In Real Life? Think of all the things you could measure!!”

[not-equippedforthis]

'sincerity and innocence of purpose of an iceberg drifting into a major shipping lane' is by far one of my favourite character introductions to date

[godsfavoritespecialangel]

The chances of your fish committing credit card fraud is low, but never 0

[tuxankhamun]

[victusinveritas]

[frasohei]

[eisenkrahe]

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[punissuer]

ID / TL;DW: young Black man explains the history of voodoo dolls: they originated in England, where Black people where prohibited from learning to read or write, to help witches keep track of what ailed their patients. Eg., person goes to witch and laments headache, they treat their headache and make a small doll (called "poppet"), trying to represent them as good as possible, stick a needle in its head and put it up a shelf. When they return next week, the witch takes their poppet and asks about their headache. If it's gone, they remove the needle, otherwise they know they have to treat a rather persistent headache.

[tartrazeen]

I'm just gonna freeze-frame this for everybody:

[ohwait-shesinspace]

As an ace, this is true allyship.

@justcakethanks original template

[sandmandaddy69]

[sooooootiiireddd]

I will not hide this

[largishcat]

i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

[thepseudologist]

So real for this

[limpurtikles]

Kinda related but I feel the same way with people being annoyed at someone asking "are you hurt/are you all right?" after tripping or having an accident or something. Especially if they respond with a sarcastic "Ghee, what do you think?!" Like damn bitch I dunno, I wad just using a standard-phrase to inquire about wether or not you are in urgent need of help, tell me if I need to call the hospital or just get a band aid. What else am I suppose to do in that situation, run up to you and yell "Status report"?!