i recently read Hida Viloria's memoir Born Both. Viloria is a very accomplished intersex activist who went on Oprah and other major TV shows to advocate for intersex issues, who helped establish a major intersex advocacy group in the US, and who literally was sent to speak to the Olympic Committee on the subject of intersex women in the Olympic games. they have CAH and clitoromegaly, and this was noticed by them and by others from a young age (they were lucky enough to not have been subjected to IGM).
"I’ve heard about a health clinic with great sliding-scale rates from my trans friends, and I decide to go there to try to find out what type of intersex variation I have. Some intersex people look male, some look female, and some look in between, and I’ve learned that there are different medical conditions associated with intersex people’s appearance. For example, according to my intersex friend Craig, who has Klinefelter’s syndrome, most folks with Klinefelter’s are registered as male and look and identify as men as adults. Craig shows me old pictures in which he looked different, but still male, even before he was pressured into taking testosterone (as often happens to Klinefelter’s men because they have low levels of testosterone). The T made him grow a beard and a lot of body hair for the first time, which he’s angry about, as he preferred his previously boyish good looks.
I’ve never cared to have a “diagnosis,” and I don’t have any health issues, but now I’m kind of curious. I figure since I’m talking about being intersex more publicly and frequently now, I may as well know. The clinic sees mainly transgender patients, but I imagine that training will help them understand, or at least be sensitive to, my needs.
After telling the physician that I’m intersex and explaining why I’m there, to my surprise she looks me up and down and asks me which gender I feel more like, man or woman. I explain that I don’t have an issue with my gender, or with being intersex. I’m simply there to get some medical information.
The doctor ignores my statements, asking me once more whether I feel male or female. I can tell she’s not trying to be rude though, so I just answer truthfully that I feel both. I repeat that my visit isn’t about my gender identity, though, but about finding out which medical condition is responsible for my large clitoris, with which I have no issues.
“Okay, you feel both, but which one do you feel more?” “I don’t know,” I reply. “It’s really hard to say…” “You must feel like one a little more than the other though, right?” I’m surprised, and a little annoyed, that she seems unwilling to continue without a binary answer. But I want to get on with this, so I finally give her the answer she’s looking for.
“Well, if I have to choose, I guess I’ll say female.” “Okay, great.” She does a blood test and sends me on my way. ...
... I’m called in to see my doctor. She seems rushed.
“So the tests came back negative,” she says. “You have nothing to worry about.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you are a perfectly normal woman.”
“But, I’m intersex, and there are different types, so which type am I?” I ask her. She looks at me with a puzzled expression. “If you want to come back, we can do more tests, but you’re a normal woman, okay? Don’t worry!” she says, as if I were seeking reassurance.
The incident leaves me feeling invalidated and makes me aware of a pattern in the medical response to my being intersex: denial. I hadn’t been subjected to medical procedures to eradicate my intersex status, as others have been, but it is in a way being verbally eradicated.
read this line, read it aloud to yourself, right it down somewhere: I hadn’t been subjected to medical procedures to eradicate my intersex status, as others have been, but it is in a way being verbally eradicated. That is intersexism and you are not alone in experiencing it.
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