Stargazer

[icon ID: A picture of a red moon with bats flying across it. End ID] [banner ID: An image of an empty road with tall trees on either side and a cloudy sky. Above the road, there is a sign that says "We didn't think you'd make it this far", in red block capitals. End ID.]

[chiropire]

《 Jasper ☆ he/him ☆ 18 》

Disabled, autistic, mentally ill.

Queer To The Core — gay genderqueer transmasc.

In mental health recovery.

Fat, white Irish, and Punk.

Interests: queerness, psychology, Halloween, space, rocks, sharks, music, mythology.

Hobbies: reading (mostly graphic novels and webtoons), collecting things, art.

Fav Medias/Fandoms: HTTYD, Sonic, Godzilla (especially Legendary Studios version of the Monsterverse), Spiderman.

Link to my carrd.

(Most recent update: 21/11/2025)

[victusinveritas]

[black-crested-jaybird]

I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.

[37q]

[crippled-peeper]

I love my big transgender life

[busket]

choosing to play oppression olympics isnt just mean and inconsiderate. like I feel when you call ppl out for it theyre like "does it hurt your feelings that I said your privileged?" like no you are actually doing some serious damage to your own cause

like the recent estrogen legislation. estrogen should never be made a controlled substance. everyone should have easy access to gender affirming care, including DIY. but when people try to spread awareness for this serious issue by acting like trans men arent as affected by institutional transphobia, it just becomes an argument about disinformation, because testosterone is ALREADY a controlled substance. I want estrogen to remain an uncontrolled substance because I want to save trans women from the bullshit than trans men have been having to deal with for over 30 years. and then you have a bunch of people arguing about this bullshit with each other while the law just plods on thru the government and everyone loses.

recently I saw a person talking about the recent, tragic murder of Juniper Blessing. but instead of honoring her memory, this person said that trans men dont experience the same danger. and of course that caused people to bring up the also very recent murder of Luca Redbeard. Both these violent hate crimes and murders happened THIS MONTH and it makes me sick that the trans community cant even honor their memories properly because theyre too up their own asses arguing about who has privilege and social power over the other, instead of seeing that we are all living the same fucking nightmare

[chiropire]

I know nobody sees these but here's a little update on my life because I want to share.

My name and legal gender are officially changed and I'm on a waitlist for gender affirming care (4+ years unfortunately).

I have a mass in my liver and the place we went to for a private MRI couldn't even find my vein to inject the contrast dye. I randomly had high activity in my thyroid for a bit and then it stabilised 😭. I have slight hypertension and tachycardia but the Cardiologist just told me to drink more water lol (he did order an ECG tho).

I only go into school Monday-Thursday and have decided to stay an extra year at school since I was stressed about having to try to finish by the end of may (there was an issue with a teacher and everyone in my year lost all of their work done for a specific course and now had to complete that course in one year or we would all fail).

I've made some genuine friends at school this year. Such a huge thing for me since I haven't had actual friends irl for so long it's genuinely been years. Always denied needing friends and said I was happy alone. Turns out I never had true friends.

I take medication for my anxiety and depression and it's genuinely gotten so much better. I've become noticeably less depressed and anxious.

I'm not in therapy anymore. And the last time I was, there was a massive incident that caused me to relapse and ruin all my hard efforts and now I'm honestly scared to go back even though sometimes I feel like I need to.

I don't have meltdowns or mental breakdowns as much, though I do still have shutdowns randomly (honestly hard to tell with shutdowns since my mind goes blank and I stop thinking).

I'm able to make a slightly larger variety of food for myself now. It's a very very slow journey for me, getting comfortable and used to making foods. I need to be explicitly shown, instructed, and told to the first many times before it finally fully registers itself in my brain as something I can make on my own.

I passed my Driver's theory test and have my provisional license. I might start driving lessons in July.

I've joined a D&D group in my town that usually meets up every other week. And I recently started electric guitar lessons every Friday.

All in all, I'm doing much better than I was before and I'm happier too. Still not perfect and there is so much I still want to change. I don't yet have the motivation, discipline, mindset, whatever it is I need to have, to be able to work on my body and it kinda kills me inside, but maybe some day.

I always used to get annoyed at people who would say "it gets better", but I get it now. It really does get better.

[galactic-mayhem]

To all trans men on this site, im gonna put you onto something. If you are in need of a binder but have unsupportive parents or are closeted, if you have a fondness for the ocean, or if youre bored with the normal colors of binder available, go to Waterlust and get a top

As you can see above, theyre all patterned like marine life, but theyre also reversible! One side has the pattern, the other is solid color, and they're all fun colors like blues and reds and greens, but some like the whale and tiger shark ones are more subtle grays and blacks. I have the whale shark one and the spongebob one (which was a limited run), and theyre both very well designed and printed. My spongebob one has served me for roughly four years and it hasn't worn at all.

What really matters? The binding power, and these things are great. I'm a triple D cup and with a medium I look like I have subtle pecs. They're also much less compressive than other binders due to their materials (which are mostly recycled!), so you can wear them for longer without getting sore. When I did more intensive theater and band performances, I could still act, dance, and play bari sax without getting winded or hurting myself. They're also swim tops, and I've scuba dived in these as well comfortably.

If that wasn't all, proceeds from each purchase are donated towards marine conservation and education initiatives! Purchasing shark printed ones specifically donate to shark studies and conservation orgs, parrotfish and coral prints support coral restoration initiatives, and so on. The high price tag is for a good reason.

Overall, if you're looking for an all around good binder, one that matches your whimsey and supports a good cause, Waterlust is the place to go.

[uncle-alam]

fagging out in these most treacherous of conditions

[anxietyproblem]

[chiropire]

Literally on my way to get my GRC (Gender Recognition Certificate) signed so I can send it off. Gonna change my legal name and gender!!!

[chiropire]

Officially 18 today!!

Wild how I used to think I wouldn't last this long. But now I'm here, out to my family and school, diagnosed autistic, just being myself.

Got my first ever birthday card from my parents calling me their son and using my preferred name. Now that I'm 18 I can apply to have my legal name and gender changed, as well as get on the waitlist for T.

Life does get better – something I used to not believe.

[chiropire]

Finally told my school that I'm trans and they were super supportive! They're going to change my name on the attendance sheet, use my preferred pronouns (and name), and I'm also allowed to use the men's bathroom if I want to :D

I asked the Resource Person to tell the other students and teachers for me since I wouldn't have been able to handle the stress.

Pretty nervous to go in tomorrow and see how my friends feel about it, but (hopefully) it'll be okay. I probably should have told them myself, but honestly, the stress would have been too much for me.

[callmesirkay]

loving my body to spite everything is very punk rock of me

[donniehaspronouns]

if y’all hated the last tapestry I made I got something even better. happy pride!

also didn’t block this one so don’t even ask

(link to the chart)

[whirling-ghost]

[ID: a crochet piece reading "mutilate your body until it's yours" in trans pride colours on a black background. end ID]

[chiropire]

Something I've been thinking about recently is how, ever since early adolescence until now, I've identified as aspec. I identified as aspec as soon as I found the term and knew what it meant. But now that I'm almost an adult and my mental health is getting better, it's changing.

I always knew I liked women but I never found myself having sexual, romantic, or really any other attraction towards them besides aesthetic attraction. Until now at least.

My mental health is getting better slowly. I'm on the long thorny path of recovering from chronic depression. And now that I have better access to my emotions I'm suddenly attracted to someone for the first time in my life and I'm nearly an adult!!

It feels like my life is being flipped upside down honestly. It's weird. Not necessarily bad though.

But now I'm not sure how to identify. I know I can use whatever terms and labels I want. I've identified as and with aspec for so many years. I'm sort of attached to it now but it doesn't feel the same. I definitely don't identify as fully allo but fully aspec doesn't click anymore. Greyspec feels the most accurate but even then I'm still not sure.

Autism be damned, I'm too gay for this (joke)

[chiropire]

Went out yesterday without a parent, carer or other adult I knew around. First time in so many years. This might seem so small and insignificant to so many people but this is actually a huge achievement for me.

I'm slowly getting better. After leaving school and starting at an alternative education center, I'm feeling less shitty constantly. I'm finally able to actually start recovering from the almost decade-long depression I've been suffering with.

Of course, my mental health still isn't the best, but still. And I have a friend again! It's been so long since I've had someone I could confidently say I'm friends with.

My life might not have been the best, but it's certainly getting better :] (smiley face)

[existennialmemes]

Please be patient. I'm trying very hard to be A Person™ but it's really difficult for me, and I'm not particularly good at it. There was no tutorial and the rules seem wildly inconsistent.

[theuselessdove]

Dunno if any other moderate support autistics like me worry they would never be able to have a long term romantic relationship.

I def did but guess what!!!

IM MARRIED!!!! Yippee we’ve been together for five years and married for a year and a half. We both still live with my parents because of the support I need. He takes such good care of me and is super understanding of my needs. We’ve been talking about getting a care taker when we move out for me.

It’s not impossible to find love if you have higher support needs. We can have fulfilling romantic and sexual relationships. We are not less deserving of love because of how much support we require!!