he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@chrmrander
Was anyone gonna tell me Vincent Martella, voice of Phineas Flynn on the Disney Channel original show Phineas and Ferb is on some absolute king shit on his twitter or did i just have to see this amazing series of tweets myself?
There’s more just go fucking look yourself
BOY’S ON SOME REAL KING SHIT LEMME TELL YA
I have to add this gem
hozier singing about bones, dead bodies, preys, predators, decomposing, satanic sacrifice, oral sex:
me and the girls:
femme doesn’t mean “trying to look sexy to anyone who sees them”. butch doesn’t mean “doesn’t care about their appearance”.
+ femme doesn’t mean “innocent and stupid”, butch doesn’t mean “violent and angry”
femme means woman in french. stfu
is she... yanno? *points to where a nose ring would typically go*
I hardly see any heroic posts about Muslims on here, so here you go.
I love that it takes the time to specify that his attack of choice was a flying kick
The hero the world needs
I remember this. But I feel we’re missing some key points. When it happened, he was out jogging with his puppy:
He heard screams and sprinted towards them. He jumped a fence, saw a man pinning a woman down and immediately fly-kicked him in the face, knocking him out. He then gave the woman his jacket because her dress was ripped and got her a taxi home. She only managed to get in contact with him and tell the papers cause she later found his driver’s license in the pocket of the jacket.
“If I see a person in danger then I will intervene. I would not want to ignore it and then read the next day that a woman had been raped or murdered.”
And his message to the attacker:
“He is a coward and a man with no morals. I won’t forget his face.”
Glaswegians will always fly kick someone I swear. Good on him.
Something else I love about this is that they’re calling the rapist a “beast” because that is an appropriate word to use for someone who would do something that horrible instead of showing him any form of sympathy or humanizing him
What a lad
“i wont forget his face” is such a badass thing to say
easy to remember a face that has your sneaker tread permanently imprinted in it
all stories have an inherently biased perspective because theyre all written by writers. this precludes an understanding of aspects of life experienced by people who arent writers such as ballin, fitting in at parties, having abs
but wait didn’t ernest hemingway have abs and fit in at parties?
yeah thats why he barely used any words
#old man and the sea short bc he had a rager to get to
Do you think people in the afterlife get notifications when someone mentions them in a post?
I hope so, Diogenes must be fucking losing it.
current emotion: lumpy bird drawn with touchpad on ms paint at midnight
This Friend Is Available To All Ages You Fool
my biology professor has such a chaotic energy about him, last week i went to his office hours and somehow we ended up on the topic of gay marriage:
he said that when he lived in texas they changed the law to define marriage as “between a man and a woman in a house of religious worship with the intention to have children” so he filed his taxes as single and when they called him up like “you filed married last year” he was like “you changed the law, i was married by a judge in a courthouse and i have no intention of having kids” and they told him “you know who that law was for” and i guess he hung up on them and did not, in fact, pay taxes as a married man that year
Chaotic good
NO! This is Lawful Good! He is following the LAW! Chaotic doesn't just mean cheeky!
this is like how Sweden stopped classifying homosexuality as an illness because people started a campaign of calling in gay to work
malicious compliance is one of the best tools in the arsenal of civil rights activism
Always reblog for malicious compliance
Plop
(via)
Omg I'm so glad someone was there to save that weird looking puppy
The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.
Wait…what?
Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄
also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck
snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected.
seriously though check out his cookbook its beautiful
and filled with lgiht humor, legit cooking, and charming life stories
Whenever I think about snoop I remember that episode of cribs where he lived in an unusually modest house compared to everyone else on that show, spent the entire time with his young daughter hugging onto his leg and dragging her around as he walked. He even talked about how he didn’t want his kids to be musicians and that he just wants them to have a chance at a normal life / he doesn’t wish music career drama on anyone
The dude is mega down to earth for having a networth of 135 million dollars and staying relevant for longer than some of the top charting musicians have been alive
he says he keeps a supply of poptarts in the house for his nieces/nephews and grandkids but admits theyre really for him and then goes on to discuss what selection of condiments your fridge should have to jazz up leftover takeout hes one of the most thoroughly human humans ive ever known of
Doesn’t he also coach football for kids, and stops smoking during the season to set a good example for the kids?
all these people going on about how Hozier is the peak representation of musical soft masculinity when Snoop has been out here rocking the smoothest braids and most hype manicures for decades
Okay but even when wet concrete is fairly dense and frogs are very light so there is no good reason for that hole to be as deep as it is. Even if it had been dropped from a great height by a bird of prey it wouldn’t have created a deep crater in the exact shape of its body. If a sadist had planted the frog there and stepped on it, the frog would’ve been flattened by virtue of being squishy or the person’s foot would’ve left a print too. The only explanations I can think of for that hole to be that deep is if someone got a little mold of a frog and pressed it in or got tools and carved the image of a frog in there.
so this. is deliberate. someone wanted a small frog shaped hole in the concrete
so it was a miracle
Women: I would prefer to be with a man who doesn’t abuse me, isn’t an addict, doesn’t cheat, bathes Journalist: WHAT A BRUTAL LIST OF DEMANDS
im sorry but
how do people sneak out of their house??? I could be going to pee in the middle of the night and my mom will be like what tf you doing
If your family ever feels dysfunctional just remember that my parents got divorced and didn’t tell each other where they were moving to so they ended up moving in the same neighborhood and becoming neighbors
My life is literally a sitcom
Is it true that straight boys eat footballs for breakfast
yeah everyday, the leather makes them feel more secure about their inability to satisfy women
