if willy wonka had an ao3

author of some fics you may have heard of | any pronouns

[str-ngeloop]

you will struggle to say the unsayable thing for five years straight. and then it will suddenly become easy on a Wednesday morning

[frontmansdefender]

wigginsgolf on instagram

[netherworldpost]

;)

[ape-of-naples]

lmao

[ape-of-naples]

come on

[maxknightley]

"of course this is a valid historical source. it says 'this happened' right there at the top of the page."

[sacred-portal]

[tangledbeast]

If it makes you feel any better, he hated it too.

[gayserblast]

This is the funniest and saddest sentence I've read all week

[brucebocchi]

[garaks-padded-bra]

forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

[userfish]

[jame7t]

daddydom ASMR but 5 seconds in he gets attacked by a cackling witch

[cornsumer]

i’m sorry but what the actual fuck

[jame7t]

a cackling witch

[manicpixiedreamkiller]

how many sharks does a tornado need to be considered a sharknado

1

2

3-5

10 ????

more ??????

other ????????????

Voting ended onMar 27

[manicpixiedreamkiller]

this is the level of analysis we’re looking for here people

[thestuffedalligator]

They’ve been rebuilding the Tower of Babel, but this time they have a team of linguists on site. Every time God smites the builders and invents a dozen new languages, the linguists have a dozen decently sized translations in about a month and work can start up again.

The linguists have been really into it. They say the new phonemes are fascinating. As for God, I assume that at this point he’s just curious to see how far this goes.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

To keep us on out toes, God gives the next group of builders an extra place of articulation called the flongus between the pharynx and the glottis, creating an entire new column of the IPA chart with sounds between sounds that are literally physiologically impossible for non-flongled people to replicate.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Improved symbols for the flongal plosives ("gacks"), flongal trill ("hacks"), flongal fricatives ("groans"), and and the flongal lateral approximant ("moans")

[inthefallofasparrow]

Update: The builders have now simply switched to communicating entirely through a universal sign language like they should've done to start with. No sounds need be spoken, flongal or otherwise. The Tower steadily rises. Be seeing you soon, God, you little bitch.

[koth-harvest-final]

update: the builders are all speaking different sign languages now

[littlegreen]

oh i’m sorry would you rather me beat an alive horse?

[pancakeke]

"there's a guy in the walls" movies exist in a universe that I fucking WISH was real. imagine how easy it would be to install stuff in walls if the space behind a wall was not 3.5 inches/8.9 cm deep and I could get my whole self in there. of course that would mean a guy could get in there too, but what are the odds.

[starving-shartist]

<currently blogging from inside this idiot's walls>

[pancakeke]

PLEASE help me feed these ethernet cables downstairs or I'm gonna kill myself before you get a crack at me

[starving-shartist]

thread it down here champ, we'll get this installed come hell or high water

[pancakeke]

you are the best scary murderer who could have ever crawled into my walls

[velartis]

“what radicalized you” bro EMPATHY

[puppygirllaika]

"what radicalized you" well in kindergarten they told me to share things and be nice to people.

[jakeperalta]

not using AI genuinely feels like the rest of the world is experiencing some kind of mass amnesia. if someone says they never use it, the immediate response is that can't be true because "everyone" uses it to write their emails or answer their questions. saw a comment suggesting that not using chatgpt to write an essay is "like the 90s". girl I graduated in 2021 and we weren't doing that! how is it that everyone has suddenly forgotten that they were entirely capable of doing these things all by themselves for their entire lives up until the past few years!! am I going crazy!!!

[flipchild]

[tumblr] is a beautiful website where all kinds of people come to diversify their echolalia

[brawltogethernow]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[taraljc]

o fuck there's two of them now did they grow this one in a lab from a cutting?

[lethalbutterfly]

Obviously he made him out of chocolate. C'mon now.

[feldfrog]

Angel on my left shoulder telling me to do good. Devil on my right shoulder telling me to do bad. Rat on my head teaching me how to cook