Warning: Seriousness may occure

Hey Ya'll.~ Welcome to this blog 'o mine.~ I sometimes post my art here, but i mostly just reblog shit that i think is amusing, interesting, or i just think is cool.~ Hope yall hava good one.~

[calladraws101]

You became what? 10

[yonhuilee]

Here’s my graduation film from CalArts! Thanks to my friends and family who supported me along the way! Watch other films made by my classmates: vimeo.com/channels/calartscharanimfilms2015

[pocketpicasso-blog-deactivated2]

EVERYONE DROP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND WATCH YON’S INCREDIBLE FILM! drama! action! tons of heart! “Dodoba” will blow you away!!

[glubtier]

…I would watch a whole series about this frog

[laquilasse]

Part 2/2 of my lotr marathon sketchdump! Happy new year everyone

Please don’t repost! Instagram / Twitter : Laquilasse

[nirishoxford]

Reblog this if you like Lord of the Rings, just do it, ask no questions all will make sense later.

[niuniente]

CAT by  By 九米 / Zhaobangni (1631123)

[readableporn]

And when I say I lost my shit–and by all lost gods did I– I mean it.

[adulthoodisokay]

unmute unmute unmute

[munkseel]

for the love of EVERYTHING holy u GOTTA unmute

[benepla-deactivated20180521]

if you ever have about an hour and a half to kill, instead of watching a movie, please watch the three part series of the mcelroy brothers playing fallout 4 and destroying it from the inside out

like i can barely sit through a ten minute letsplay anymore and yet i watched all of these absolutely entranced the entire time

[benepla-deactivated20180521]

friendly remembly

[norablook]

a genuine masterpiece

[gelisayshi]

I finally watched all of these the other day and i haven’t laughed that hard at a let’s play in such a long time.

[that-good-good-blog]

I’ve never laughed harder in my life than I have to these videos. Watch.

[wethatkindoforc]

I think about The Final Pam every day. I want to be her when I grow up.

[argumate]

where are those startups that are disrupting the glasses industry

[ms-demeanor]

zenni and it’s amazing and i love it 40 dollar bifocals fuck yeah

[ms-demeanor]

Hey I’m reblogging this again because if you need glasses here’s what I do:

Go to Costco/Sams Club/WalMart - wherever they’ve got that $58 eye exam. That’s with no insurance, btw. Just $58 cash on the counter, you get your eyes examined.

They’ll give you a copy of your prescription. ASK THE DOCTOR TO MEASURE YOUR PUPIL DISTANCE. If they don’t it’s not a huge deal, you just have to have a ruler around that has millimeters so you can measure it yourself and it won’t be as accurate but being off by as much as a centimeter isn’t a problem.

Make them give you a copy of your prescription - you are allowed to have this, they have to give you it, you don’t have to buy glasses there. If anyone challenges you say you need a copy for your records and you’re not going to buy glasses today.

Go to https://www.zennioptical.com/ and start looking at frames/glasses that you like. If you create an account it’ll let you upload a photo and based on your pupil distance the site will estimate how well various frames will fit you.

Add the frames you like to cart and start checking out - the checkout process will ask you for your RX details that will be written in the boxes on your RX page. It’s pretty intuitive to copy it over but if you get lost use the livechat feature on the zenni page.

Start selecting your glasses details. Your RX will determine what kind of lens you get (go with the one zenni recommends for materials and thickness) but your needs will determine the other stuff. I make sure to get the fancy oleophobic coating because I’m a slimy bog monster. I also get the cheapest pair of sunglasses possible because bog monsters hate the sun. You can get transitions lenses or anti-scratch coating or super lightweight lenses or whatever works best for you. The extras will add up in cost but you gotta do what you gotta do - my life is much better with a pair of sunglasses than it is with some clip-ons for my regular glasses; your life may be better with transitions lenses instead of carrying a second set of glasses. DO WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU.

Don’t bother paying the rush shipping, this is going to take two weeks regardless.

GLASSES ARRIVE. WEAR GLASSES.

If the fit isn’t perfect see if the place that did your eye exam will adjust the fit for you. They often will free of charge.

GLASSES. GLASSES. I CAN SEE.

PROGRESSIVE BIFOCALS THAT COST $40 WITH CUTE FRAMES AND NICE COATING.

SUNGLASSES.

FUCK

It costs less for me to get two pairs of bifocals, one tinted and one clear, with special coatings and nice frames than it would cost me to get one pair of single-vision glasses from Warby Parker.

The cheapest frames available for adults on Lenscrafter’s site is $69.95. That is JUST the frames, not the lenses. The lenses are like $200. The anti-glare coating is like $70. THE ANTI GLARE COATING IS FREE AND INCLUDED WITH YOUR PURCHASE AT ZENNI. Just the frames and the coating at lenscrafters costs more than my two pairs of glasses AND my eye exam.

I can’t articulate how many literal headaches Zenni has saved me because I just used to wear my old prescription until I had trouble keeping my eyes open from the strain. Now at the first hint of eye strain it’s like “Not today, Satan!” and I can plan for the $100 expense that’s going to last me potentially years.

[boxingcleverrr]

Obligatory reminder that a ton of people have added but still, Zenni and other likewise sites (1-800-Contacts) require the prescription be up to date within a year. So yeah plan that in, any time you shop, that script has to be from within the last year. 

[absentlyabbie]

I would also like to submit glassesshop.com because, though I shopped Zenni exclusively from 2012-2017, in the last six months I have gotten four pairs of glasses from GlassesShop, and still paid less than a hundred dollars.

The key difference for me was that while Zenni was utterly eye opening (ha, eye pun), they rarely do sales, and GlassesShop is constantly rolling through a variety of sales. There is almost always a wide selection of glasses on Buy One Get One Free promotion, and the free pair includes the lenses, no matter what add ons are on there or whatever kinda prescription you got, as long as its the less expensive pair. 

They also do weekly specials where rotating selections of frames go on clearance-rate pricing, from $6.95-12.95. This is just the tip of the iceberg of the constant variety of sales, promotions, and discounts they offer, and doesn’t include that, also unlike Zenni, if you have an account every purcahse you make accrues points which can be applied in dollar amount to future purchases, even with discounts/sales/promos also applied.

Like Zenni, GlassesShop lets you upload a selfie to “try on” frames you’re interested in, but they have a much wider selection and variety. They take about the same amount of time as Zenni to craft and ship your glasses, and they’re on par as far as quality and accuracy of prescription goes.

I will always be grateful to Zenni for opening the door for me on the online glasses market, because as someone netting less than 20k a year after taxes glasses used to be a “upon pain of death/causing a car accident from blindness” purchase but have become a “well that’s a great sale and I LOVE those frames… I guess I could do with another pair of glasses, there’s $30-50 in my budget!” kind of thing, and that’s incredible.

But I probably won’t be switching back, as after having made multiple purchases, the only thing I like better about Zenni compared to GlassesShop is Zenni has better cleaning cloths.

Regardless, they’re two excellent, amazingly affordable alternatives to spending minimum of $100 at a brick and mortar glasses store, and I’ve turned into something of a proselytizer for both, because people deserve to know they have these options.

It’s bad enough we’re out here paying to see, but too many of us don’t realize we could be paying a lot less to see, and in the cutest glasses best suited to our tastes, instead of whatever’s “cheap” at WalMart.

[oncewild]

also gonna throw out eyebuydirect, which does some great sales. I’ve gotten prescription glasses as cheap as $6 and prescription sunglasses for $20.

[prairietopdx]

Ordered from both Zenni and Eyebuydirect before and a great experience every time. I just bought two new pairs from Eyebuydirect. I upgraded to their blue filtering lenses (didn’t expect a huge difference but woah, it was definitely worth the upgrade) and with the sale going on, I paid less than $60.

[pleasedotheneedful]

eyebuydirect is legit

though I still remember the chuckle I got when that resident asked if I had warby parkers and I told him where they really came from

[thecatsmayo]

firmoo is nice too

[dollsahoy]

Reblogging for glassesshop and firmoo–those’re new to me.  I’ve been really happy with EyeBuyDirect, especially when they have sales, and Goggles4U isn’t too bad (I haven’t liked the glasses I’ve gotten from Zenni, but obviously experiences vary.)

[leaveharmony]

@elfyourmother This one?

[elfyourmother]

THIS ONE thank you

[robpilled]

Here’s my one week film for film workshop class B^)

pls enjoy

[bighonkinqueeniesbadbadbackstory]

I hope you blew the professor away

[crystalsharpwing]

Goodbye for now

well, it’s been a trip, but i don’t think that this site is doing me any favors, so imma gonna step away for a bit. i’ll drop by to see what’s what, but that’s it.

So. Ya’ll hava good one, and, maybe, i’ll see yall around.

[iamthedukeofurl]

Stupid Overwatch Headcanon

Jesse McCree is, like, AMAZINGLY good at stealth. That’s why he was recruited to Blackwatch. When he wants to, he can move perfectly silently.  This was an asset in the field, but it was becoming a serious problem on the base, because you had all these trained soldiers with hair-trigger reflexes who reacted badly to people appearing suddenly behind them.

They ended up making him wear spurs so they could keep track of him. If he ever takes them off he’s a ghost. 

[acesvega-archive]

The spurs are a cat bell I can’t believe it

[xekstrin]

yeah but i bet they had to make him think it was HIS idea or else he wouldn’t do it

Jack: The cowboy thing is ridiculous. Next thing I know you’ll be wearing spurs Jesse: ………………… Gabriel, a few feet away muttering into his walkie talkie: Target successfully influenced, should I press it Ana: No. Give it time. It has to be organic.

[galwednesday]

A fic where Steve and Bucky are super gross and mushy on the phone because it started as a joke making fun of couples that use pet names, but now it's escalated due to their chronic one-upmanship. Steve refers to Bucky as Jamie/Jamiebaby in these conversations, so Steve's coworkers are expecting a girl with particularly sappy tastes. Instead a brick shithouse shows up to the office party and just fuckin roasts Steve the whole time.

Shout-out to the Stucky discord for helping brainstorm the pet names!

Clint looked around the conference room with satisfaction. The decorating committee had leaned extra hard into the non-denominational theme for this non-denominational holiday party, so the only nod to the season were the paper snowflakes taped onto the windows. There were rainbow streamers twisted above the doors, and Clint had appropriated a trailing strand of royal purple and was now wearing it around his neck like a crinkly paper boa. Most importantly, Clint had managed to snag a table near the back that was strategically positioned between the bar and the buffet table, and he’d claimed one of the leather roller chairs that didn’t squeak. The night was off to a good start.

The Stark Industry bigwigs were having a much more formal gala on the atrium level, but Clint was but a humble security guard, so he was down in the building’s largest conference room with the rest of the peons. The joke was on the important people, though, because the peons got all the same delicious catering without having to sit through speeches from the Board of Directors.

Tony Stark, son of the company founder and terror of the engineering department, dropped into the chair next to Clint. They’d met five months back when Clint had nearly arrested Stark for trespassing when he’d set off the motion sensors during an all-night engineering binge. Once the accusations and apologies had been dealt with, Clint had escorted Tony back to his workshop and kept refilling his coffee pot until he passed out over his drafting table. It wasn’t the most conventional way to start a friendship, but it was about par for Clint; at least neither of them had actually wound up in prison this time.

“So, that was easier than I expected,” Tony said.

“They kicked you out already?”

“I thought I’d have to hit on a few of the board members’ wives, but violating the dress code was enough.” Tony absent-mindedly rubbed a smear of engine grease on his wrist, then wiped it on his Metallica t-shirt. “Howard sent me packing as soon as I walked in. Is Steve coming?”

“He said so. And he’s bringing Jamie-baby.”

Tony lit up. “We finally get to meet Steve’s mystery partner?”

Steve had been placing calls from the security desk to the mysterious “Jamie-baby” as long as he and Clint had worked there. Clint could never make out the other side of the conversation, but Steve always gave the caller endearments like “honey-pie” and “angel face” while Clint (and Tony, if it was a day when he was hiding from his dad in the security office) mimed vomiting all over the security monitors. Steve usually ended the calls with “See you at home, Jamie-baby,” which was as much information as Steve would disclose. “I don’t want to skew your first impression,” he always said, with that face that meant he was up to something, and good luck figuring it out. Clint had a healthy respect for that face.

“He said they’d both be here.” Clint scanned the crowd, looking for a boy scout’s face on a lumberjack’s body. “I don’t think he’s shown up yet.”

They only had to wait ten minutes, during which Tony cut paper snowflakes into increasingly complex geometrical shapes and Clint scaled the windows to stick Tony’s snowflakes above the ones already in place. Clint was dangling ten feet above ground from a complicated network of window blind cords when Steve walked in. He waved energetically to attract Steve’s attention, then directed Steve towards their table and climbed (climbed, fell, same difference) back down to ground level.

Steve was followed by a beefy dude in a blue button-down with the left sleeve neatly pinned up below the shoulder. He had the kind of broad, angular face that managed to produce dramatic cheekbone shadows even under the conference room’s soft fluorescent lighting. Their intern Peter, who was taking pictures of the party for the office newsletter, was going to love this guy.

“Hey!” Steve leaned in for a hug, and Clint enjoyed the sensation of being briefly engulfed by a friendly blond grizzly bear. “Buck, this is Clint and Tony.”

“Nice to meet you,” the one-armed cover model said. “I’m Bucky.”

Clint hid his flash of disappointment. He’d been hoping to meet Steve’s mystery partner Jamie-baby, but obviously something had come up. Bucky looked like Clint’s kind of guy, at least. He was already leaning around Steve to scope out the buffet.

“Glad you could make it.” Tony held up two flutes of slightly different amber liquid. “Who’s the designated driver?”

“Me,” Steve said, and accepted the sparkling cider Tony passed him.

Bucky took the other flute. “There more where this came from, or is this a one-and-done kind of deal?”

“It’s an open bar,” Clint said.

“Fuck, yeah,” Bucky said, and drained half his glass in one gulp. “Steve, I take it back, your holiday parties are the best.”

“Told you. I’m hitting the appetizer table before the brie wheel runs out, you want anything, sweetpea?”

“Yeah, get me five of everything wrapped in bacon.”

“On it, lambykins.”

“Thanks, fucknugget.”

Tony choked on his champagne. Bucky raised his eyebrows at Tony and set his glass on the table. “That your special holiday party outfit, or does this office have a really loose interpretation of business casual?”

“Huh? Oh,” Tony said, looking down at his grease-smeared band t-shirt and ragged jeans. “Nah, I’m trying to get fired. It’s a long story full of power struggles and non-compete clauses. Lesson learned, never work for your overbearing family patriarch, no matter how much your mom guilt-trips you.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Bucky said. “There a bathroom around here?”

“Down the hallway, second door on the right,” Clint said, and barely waited until Bucky was out of earshot before turning to face Tony so fast the swivel chair kept rotating and he was forced to swing around again. “Did Steve just call him lambykins? This is the smoking gun!”

Tony nodded rapidly. “Bucky is Jamie-baby. We’re blowing this conspiracy wide open.”

“What did Bucky call him back? Duck crumpet?”

“Fucknugget.”

“For real? That’s what I heard, but I thought my hearing aids were acting up.”

“So are they roommates, or,” Tony made an obscene hand gesture, “roommates? I say roommates.”

“I say roommates,” Clint said, doing an insinuating eyebrow waggle. “No way sweetpea and lambykins are platonic friend terms.”

“I call Rhodey ‘honeybear’ all the time.”

“Yeah, well, you’re you.”

“Fair point. Shh, they’re coming back.”

Bucky sat back down a minute before Steve returned carrying half the buffet table, most of which he transferred onto Bucky’s empty plate. He spent a few moments arranging the dates wrapped in prosciutto into the shape of a heart.

“Wow,” Bucky drawled. “Such romance.”

“Anything for you, Jamie-baby.”

“Thanks, sugartits.”

Clint and Tony exchanged a frozen look. What was the appropriate way to respond to someone calling their roommate…boyfriend…person sugartits in the middle of a work party?

“So, uh, do you go by Jamie or Bucky?” Clint hazarded.

Bucky snorted. “The only one who calls me Jamie is this asshole.”

“Becca does it.”

“Becca does it when she’s trying to wind me up. You do it because you were put on earth to test me.”

“Aww, buttercup, don’t be like that,” Steve said, making cow eyes at him. “You know you’re my precious honeybunny Jamie-darling.”

“Yeah, sure, and you’re my teenie-weenie termagant.”

Steve looked down at himself pointedly. “I’m six-two, Buck.”

“You’ll always be a shortass to me, sunshine.”

“Hah.” Steve slapped the table, a huge grin spreading across his face. “‘Sunshine.’ I win.”

Bucky groaned and let his head fall forward. “God dammit.”

“Pay up,” Steve said, holding out a hand. Bucky dug around around in his jeans pocket, then dropped a wadded-up dollar bill into Steve’s palm.

“I just got that back,” Bucky said mournfully.

“You’re too sweet for your own good, Buck.” Steve layed a smacking kiss to the side of his head. Bucky huffed, then turned and pulled Steve in for a real kiss.

“Aha!” Clint pointed at them triumphantly. “Roommate roommates! Boyfriend roommates! Do I get a dollar? Bucky got a dollar, I feel like I should get a dollar.”

“Technically, he’s not my boyfriend,” Steve said.

Tony paused, a dollar bill half out of his wallet, and held it above his head when Clint tried to snatch it. “He’s not?”

“Nah.” Bucky leaned back in his chair and pressed his left side against Steve. “I’m married to this butterball, if you can believe it.”

“Close enough,” Clint said, and climbed up the back of Tony’s chair to yank the dollar out of his hand. “Wait, does ‘butterball’ count as an insult or not?”

“I don’t even know anymore,” Tony said.

Steve wrapped an arm around Bucky and sipped his sparkling cider, the crumpled dollar a lump in his breast pocket. “He’s calling me a turkey. It counts.”

“I’ll get that fucking dollar, Rogers,” Bucky said. “Just you wait.”

“You’re a sappy drunk, Barnes. I like my odds.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes. “Is that why you volunteered to drive tonight?”

Steve pulled Bucky in to settle more comfortably against his chest. “You can’t prove nothin’.”

“I should’ve known. Doesn’t matter how big you get, you’re still a little shit.”

“Love you too, pumpkin.”

[crystalsharpwing]

Warning: Seriousness may occure turned 5 today!

[argumate]

If space travel doesn’t involve sea shanties then I think we’ll have missed an opportunity.

[collapsedsquid]

You see though, for sea travel you want big strong people who are capable of managing rigging.  For space travel you want small low-mass people who are technically educated, as they are called, nerds.  Your space shanties are going to be less booming and more squeaky.

[italo-disco-calvino]

in so far as there will be space shanties, they’ll be filk

[argumate]

I call shenanigans on the big strong people; sailors were young and malnourished by modern standards, and climbing around the rigging is easier if you’re small and light.

[krakenartificer]

Like, I am 100% in favor of shanties in as many situations as possible, but I’m having trouble coming up with a mode of space travel that would require multiple humans to move in concert, thus necessitating songs with a strong beat to move to.  

[animatedamerican]

Sea chanties were for providing a strong beat to move to.  Space chanties might very well arise just because we’re bored, out there between point A and point B for so long.

(Also yes, @gdanskcityofficial up there has the right of it.)

[bigscaryd]

Space shanties are for warp piloting. Under warp drive, human time perception and time as measured by crystal or atomic oscillators don’t match. Starship pilots listen to a small unamplified chorus singing a careful rhythm while keeping their own eyes on a silent metronome that the chorus can’t see, linked to a highly-precise atomic clock. How the chorus and metronome fall in and out of sync tells the pilot how to keep the ship safely in the warp bubble and correctly on course.

Depending on route, a typical warp jump can last anywhere from one to ten minutes, and most courses consist of five to fifteen jumps before a necessary four to six hour break to check the engines, plot the next set of jumps, and give everyone a chance to recover. A good shanty team, with reliable rhythm, a broad, versatile, and extendible repertoire, and the stamina to do 3-4 sets a day over the course of a voyage, is just as vital to space travel as a pilot, navigator, or engineering team.

[galahadiant]

@tmae3114

[jewishdragon]

YESSSSS

[gallusrostromegalus]

Other reasons Shanties will experience a revival in the space age:

We will sing for any freaking reason, or no reason at all, and Shanties are FUN to sing.

Deep Space is a lonely place and recruiting people suited to long periods of isolation might be a good idea.  People from Newfoundland/Labrador, for instance.

SPACE WHALES

THEY’RE DEFINITELY REAL I FEEL IT IN MY SOUL

“What Do We Do With A Drunken Sailor” is basically a revenge fantasy against your most incompetent co-workers and if there’s something humans love doing, it’s being petty.

[decepticonsensual]

Plus, no need for work songs in space?  Tell that to all my colleagues who’ve come up with little ditties they’ve sung under their breath while at the computer.

“The Printer Song” and “I Will Fucking End You, Google Chrome” are my favourites.

[lesbiansitara-moved-deactivated]

I wish that ao3 had an option to filter warnings (and tbh certain authors) out like I will never ever want to read it and just seeing it puts me off so much that often I end up closing my browser because that content upsets me so much lmao

[darcylindbergh]

There is a way to do this but I can’t recall how to do it. it’s something you type into the box for “other filters” or something, I don’t remember. who knows?? It’s not a great option, and I don’t know if you can sort out authors that way, but it’s better than nothing if someone can reblog this with how to do it!

[fordeductions-blog]

Alrighty friends! It takes some specificity, but you can do this. Let me show you how!

So I started with going to the Sherlock (TV) section of Ao3. On the right we find this lovely section! ((I know I’m going over things you already probably know, but I figure this post may go to new Ao3 users, so bear with me.))

Underneath this, I chose sort by Kudos, because that’s a quick way to find most popular fics, for the sake of this demonstration. 

With those filters on, we end up with this being our first two results: 

As you can see, we have Nature and Nurture by earlgreytea68, and The Internet Is Not Just For Porn by cyerus. So what if I am utterly sick of seeing earlgreytea68 on my list? Let’s pretend I’ve read all their fics, or that I just don’t like her, or whatever. I want this author out. I go to this section on the right: 

In “Search within results” I type earlgreytea68 into the bar, with a minus sign in front. This gives me the following page, upon hitting the sort and filter button:

There goes earlgreytea68! But now I’ve decided that Crack is just not my thing, I’m sick of that, too, for heaven’s sake, I want something reasonable in my gay slash fanfiction about detectives that solve crimes about glowing dogs and irish megalomaniacs. Heaven forbid this get ridiculous.

Well, then I add this to my search:

Which gets rid of everything with that tag. My results are now:

Performance in a Leading Role is now my first result!

You can do this as many times as you want; the biggest problem I have is trying to filter out multi-worded tags. For example, “Secret Relationship” is hard to filter. Better to go with authors you dislike or with words like “DubCon”. 

I hope this helps! Also remember that googling site:archiveofourown.org and then adding search terms will mean google searches Ao3 for you, and sometimes that works far better. 

Good luck!

[darcylindbergh]

An excellent in-depth guide! Thank you!!

[eyesofmedusa]

omg changed my whole ao3 rarepair game

[stucky-ficrecs]

An excellent guide to filtering on AO3!

You can filter out phrases by enclosing them in quotes. For example, if ABO and Hydra Trash Party are not your things, try:

-“alpha/beta/omega dynamics” -”hydra trash party”

[possibly-an-obsession]

I have more advice!

Say, you’re in your random fandom- I went with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, since I’ve been reading Iron Man stuff recently. Tony Stark is awesome.

But anyway, you’re on the page, and you see that there are 174,774 works! That is way too many for a casual afternoon’s browsing.

And you see that the first one is Peter Parker/Tony Stark and that is not your jam. It doesn’t work for you, or it squicks you, whatever. Wouldn’t life be easier if you could browse without seeing that pairing (or whatever pairing you don’t like)? You can!

First, click on that pairing tag(You may want to open this in another tab, actually.):

and it’ll take you to the page for that pairing tag. Click this button:

and then look at the address bar! The actual page is unimportant. Copy the numbers located here:

and go back to the original search page! Down on the side, in the same place you can get rid of other tags, type -relationship_ids:”the number you just copied”

Then hit ‘sort and filter’ annnd… magic!

The fics with that pairing are gone! You can also do multiple pairings, get rid of any tags you don’t like, and sort it by date or length or kudos, or whatever.

Enjoy.

[irenkaferalkitty]

I’d just like to add that these sorts of search modifiers ALSO WORK IN GOOGLE AND MOST RESEARCH DATABASES. The more you know.

[ygofanfiction]

good info for my sweet ygo family

[grumpy-old-fandommom]

Jolly good,it came back on my dash again

[abrieftasteoflove-deactivated20]

[adultwednesdayadams]

Something Rotten!

[ariaste]

omg a musical song about COMPLAINING ABOUT WRITING My whole life I have been waiting for this. MY WHOLE LIFE.

[once-upon-a-reblog]

OH MY WORD

[erebusodora-deactivated20190104]

YES.

[the-tao-of-fandom]

@veleste

[gaslightgallows]

THIS. THIS IS WHAT I’D SING.

[ts-virgil-angst]

my brain literally anytime i sit to write

[hidy-corner-deactivated20200414]

That was beautiful

[itsclydebitches]

AU where Dumbledore’s Army uses the Chamber of Secrets instead of the Room of Requirement

Ultimate security as Harry is the only one capable of opening it. 

Myrtle proudly spending her time acting as a guard/lookout. 

Later, Harry diligently teaching Ron, Hermione, and a few choice others, like Neville, how to mimic parseltongue so that they can open it too. 

Muggleborns experiencing vicious satisfaction that they’re using this chamber as a place of education and defense, reclaiming the very space Slytherin built to rid the school of their presence. 

Hermione methodically dismantling the basilisk’s corpse, covertly selling the priceless ingredients to potion masters, using the funds to continue their work - buying books and battle robes and new wands for those who can’t afford it. 

(Hermione saving a portion of those ingredients for her own research, straightening in triumph when she learns what basilisk venom does to horcruxes, knowing she has vials of it hidden up in her room). 

Harry reverently adding the Chamber of Secrets to the Marauder’s Map, proudly continuing his family’s work and reveling in the difference they’re making. 

These students - these kids - choosing to train in a dark, horrifying place that was never meant for them. Learning spells amongst shadows, growing stronger in inches of murky water, the smell of a decomposing corpse in their noses, memories of all that had happened here haunting them. They know this is what war is really like and it helps to push them forward.  

[itsclydebitches]

Updating this because people have brought up some REALLY GREAT plot-holes and I like trying to flesh out my AUs soooooooo…

Ginny is the one who suggests using the Chamber. Of course she is. Harry isn’t the type to think of that, but for Ginny… for Ginny the Chamber still haunts her dreams, too often, and she’s furious that a part of the castle is restricted to her - a part of her home that she wants to avoid. She suggests the Chamber, partly for the DA’s benefit, mostly for her own. 

Visibility is a concern - what if someone sees them going into the girl’s restroom? They think it’s a serious issue until Ron starts laughing. No one comes near that bathroom anymore, he says. Not ever. It was barely an issue while brewing a month long polyjuice potion, Ron and Harry popping in and out to add ingredients or to stir. Now though? Now that Myrtle has stepped up her game (shrieking, flooding the room if someone unwanted comes near), now that Hogwarts is infused with rumors that Harry fought a basilisk right in there, now that the nearby corridor still has a bloody, horrifying message that even the professors haven’t been able to erase*… well, students avoid the area like the plague. 

Even if they didn’t, the House Elves help them out. Dobby did, after all, suggest the Room of Requirement before Ginny brought up the Chamber. Who better than the workers who see but are not seen to help the DA keep watch? 

The castle helps too. By now it knows Harry and desperately wants to protect its students. More than once Umbridge follows a DA member, only to find the staircase moving unexpectedly, taking her in another direction entirely. Sometimes there’s even a door directly beside the lavatory - appearing out of nowhere - that students can slip inside if they feel the need… 

Getting out is the other concern. At first they think to bring brooms or levitate one another out… but that’s just not practical. Then, one of the Hufflepuffs asks the obvious and yet oddly illusive question: how did Salazar get out? They start a search and by the end of the day they’ve found at least four hidden exits. 

One exit leads out into the Forbidden Forest, a space that’s not nearly as terrifying as it once was. Harry speaks quietly to Firenze and secures the help of the centaurs for when they need safe passage late at night. One day they encounter a group of acromantulas… and Harry learns of Hagrid’s strict new rule - friends of Hagrid are never food, no matter how easy the prey. The students don’t realize it, but they’re slowly gaining allies. Those in the forest begin to take notice of the children who walk both bravely and respectfully through their trees. 

(And one day when they’re too tired to walk back, a familiar blue car pulls up and throws open its doors. Ron cheers like a maniac. Ginny laughs and threatens to tell their dad). 

Though the exists are great, it’s Hermione who realizes the Chamber’s true benefit - it lies outside of Hogwart’s apparition zone. How can it not? Godric, Helga, and Rowena didn’t know of its existence when they first made the wards. So now the DA can go with ease, they just can’t pop in from anywhere else in the castle. Which is, admittedly, perfect. Apparition lessons begin in earnest. 

(And during the Battle of Hogwarts, DA members take Slytherin students by the hand - those who wouldn’t, couldn’t, fight their own families. They take them down to the Chamber and tell them to apparate out. Leave while you still can. Keep safe). 

 Harry realizing that parseltongue is easily imitated and coming up with an actual password that has to be spoken, one linked to a spell too. It helps that the snakes around the entrance are semi-sentient and are loyal to their new master. They know who’s meant to go down there and who’s not. 

Neville joking one day that they should be learning how to use swords, considering that’s how the original battle down here was won. Harry takes it seriously. Not the swords bit, but using physical/muggle fighting techniques on wizards who are too reliant on their magic. They begin reading up on hand-to-hand combat and knives. 

Harry needing to test their progress and getting a really stupid idea… but honestly, those often work out in his favor. So one sunny, Saturday morning - when everyone else is lounging outside - Harry sneaks the DA into the third floor corridor. Fluffy is gone, as is the mirror, but the rest remains, no doubt left in case Dumbledore ever had to guard something else precious. Hermione, Ron, and Harry spend the day supervising, teaching their peers how to react under pressure, think through situations, and rely on one another’s skills. 

And then one day things get weird (because they always do with Harry) when he realizes that the miniature chamber the basilisk was kept in is the only part of their hideout they’d yet to explore. See, given their rarity, it’s unsurprising that wizardkind knows so little about basilisks - not that they reproduce asexually or that only a parseltongue can hatch the egg. So when Harry crawls into the chamber, and finds a strange egg-like object nestled there, that begins pulsing a soft green color in his presence, and when he basically says, “What the hell…?” out loud, and when it comes out in parseltongue because he is surrounded by snake things…well, let’s just say a few minutes later Harry crawls back out, very sheepish, a baby basilisk cooing around his neck. He laughs pretty shakily and mutters something about finding their mascot. 

(And they name the beast - because of course they do - and Hermione invents a soft device to cover its eyes and feeding it is an absolute horror… but they do grow to love their ‘mascot.’ And during the Battle - when Harry is off in the forest and Hogwarts is losing badly - no one is more surprised than the Death Eaters when Ron and Hermione come tearing out of the school riding a goddamn fully grown basilisk. Hermione rips off the cover on its eyes and sets to work). 

* “In the book, it says that Filch could not get the messages written by Ginny off of the wall. It is unknown if he ever did, and it has not been mentioned since.”

[reallifepadfoot-deactivated2018]

Fucking love this

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READ IT

[shanastoryteller]

Let Down Your Hair

he is a young man, with a young, pregnant wife. they are poor, and can’t afford much, so he sneaks into the witch’s garden at night to steal away the rapunzel lettuce his wife so desperately craves.

when the witch gothel catches, him she demands the child that her garden is feeding as payment.

he agrees, because there’s nothing else he can do.

he and his wife can have more children, but not if they’re dead. they can have more children later, when they have the means to provide for them, when they’re older and more sure of themselves, when the prospect of being responsible for another mouth to feed isn’t quite so terrifying.

his wife is still slick with blood when he wraps their daughter in an old pillowcase and brings her to the stone wall separating their land from the witch’s. “are you going to hurt her?” he asks, clutching his crying daughter to his chest.

gothel raises an eyebrow and says, “what a foolish question.” she pulls away from him and is gone in the next instant.

his arms feel empty, but lighter too. he’ll never say this aloud, but it’s almost a relief to give the child away.

they couldn’t even afford to feed themselves, never mind anyone else.

he wants to be a father. he doesn’t want to be the father of a hungry child.

~

this is not the first time gothel has bargained a child away from its parents. and so she tucks the squalling little girl in bend of her elbow, and goes where she always goes.

“caroline!” she calls out, “oh mother caroline!”

she stands in front of large house, one that has the general appearance of being many houses stacked up on top of each other, all different colors and sizes and styles. also, from the side, it does not look unlike a rather large shoe.

the door bangs open, and a small wave of children run for her, small sticky hands grasping at her dress and cloak, and gap toothed grins everywhere she turns. “have you brought us another brother?” a girl asks, wrinkling her nose. “i have too many brothers.”

the boys turn to her, glaring, but the girl is unrepentant. she’s the only girl in among the younger kids, and is quite cross about it.

then the older kids surround gothel, the ones that had had the patience not to go chasing after her at a sprint. the teenagers like to pretend like they don’t care, but she has many eager and impatient eyes on her, lots of twitching fingers eager to take the baby away from her. that’s fine by gothel – she’s eager to be rid of the blasted thing.

“that’s enough!” a powerful, creaky voice shouts. “that’s quite enough of that! make room, make room, let me through!”

the crowd of children part for mother caroline. like gothel, caroline has dark skin and black hair, a strong, wide nose and plump lips. but while gothel appears to be a woman in the prime of her youth, caroline is an old woman. her back is straight and strong, and there is strength in the width of her waist. but her dark hair is streaked with silver, and her skin has started to bend to the will of time and gravity, causing delicate wrinkles to frame her face. “little sister,” gothel greets, “you’ve gotten older.”

caroline shoots her an irritated glance, “while you haven’t changed at all.”

“you could have became a witch like me,” gothel says, not for the first time, “you were always quite good with physical magic. then neither of us would age at all!”

“change is inevitable,” caroline says with the type of finality that makes gothel’s skin crawl. “let me see the child.”

the children crowd impossibly closer as gothel hands the baby over, red faced and new. caroline cradles the babe against her chest, then stills, her lips pulling down at the corners. “what’s wrong?” gothel demands, peering down at the baby anxiously.

she looks like any other baby gothel has seen. her face is squished oddly and her eyes are a watery blue. she has ten fingers and ten toes – gothel checked! – and she was crying when her father handed her over, but she’s quiet now.

“i can’t take this child,” caroline says.

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