I feel pretty and witty and gay

Ich bin auch witzig.

[senatortedcruz]

Wonderful photo

[a-french-guardsman]

Me when I'm a dead knight effigy but I keep smiling through eternity because I know I'm serving major cunt

[a-french-guardsman]

Update: I have found the full effigy and it's even crazier actually

[catsandwich-deactivated20240213]

This is a literal sexual harassment training video we had to complete

[quendergeer]

i assumed this was porn

[hollanderthoughts]

I have the perverts mind and the perverts heart. My soul? that is also quite perverted.

[manofbeskar]

sham doodle

[curseofmeatthawsmoth]

Greek Nathan's foot long Yogurt Hot Dogs

[interviewvampiredaily]

First official poster for season 4!

[thememedaddy]

[ironychan]

TIL anyone who's going to overwinter in Antarctica has to have had their appendix out. Because removing an appendix that's not causing any trouble just as a precaution is way better than having one that's about to burst when you're on the ass-end of the planet with no way to be rushed to a hospital if shit gets real.

[ironychan]

No, by the way, we absolutely did not think of this ahead of time. A dude named Leonid Rogozov got appendicitis in Antarctica. Fortunately, the expedition's doctor diagnosed him quickly and knew how to remove an appendix. Unfortunately, our man Leo was the expedition's doctor.

What did he do? Well, he set up a mirror, gave his belly a shot of novocaine, presumably told a colleague, "hold my vodka," and he removed his own fucking appendix. He survived.

[sunlaire]

this picture has such "i lived bitch" energy

[doyouremem8erme]

yknow what im just leaving this whole tag thread out here

[biggass-pancake]

no no, i get it. i can see why you're confused- I want the CANON to be completely platonic, fucked-up exploration of intimacy that transcends human sexuality but never includes human sexuality.

I want to be the pervert that makes them fuck.

[tainbocuailnge]

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

[tainbocuailnge]

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

[nudityandnerdery]

This seems like a good post to include this link on:

Your Cookware Got Worse On Purpose

One buyout firm quietly collected Pyrex, Corelle, Instant Pot, and Oneida. Farberware is a name on a 200-year lease. And the pans still wort

Talking about popular kitchenware companies undergoing enshittification, and gives you a list of brands towards the end that are more reliable.

[akindplace]

sometimes you gotta try no to blame yourself for the fact that you’re not doing the things you wish to do. oftentimes it’s not because of laziness, but because of exhaustion, and the two are completely different, especially when pushing it can cost you your health. and you’re not failing just because you’re tired, you’re not worth any less because you’re exhausted, you’re just trying to get through life the best way you can, and that’s already a hell of an effort

[hellenhighwater]

I forgot to eat dinner so I'm having 11 pm corn on the cob. This counts as a meal

... It's possible that I really need to do some grocery shopping

[hellenhighwater]

Okay for those of you living in pitiful ignorance, take a raw ear of corn with the husk on and cut all the way around the base (as pictured: above the point where the husk meets the cob, so that the entire husk is severed but still wrapped around the corn. Do not cut through the cob.) Then, with the husk still on, microwave it for 5-7 minutes. It'll basically steam it inside the husk. Remove from microwave --it will be hot, so use a mitt or a towel--and firmly pull the top of the husk/silk, which should come off easily in one piece, unsheathing a flawless corn on the cob. If it doesn't, you probably need to cut a little higher around the base, so all the leaves are severed. No picking off silk!

[hellenhighwater]

For the nonbelievers (and for me, a second corn)

[hellenhighwater]

This website works so well

[anglaised]

it is so annoying being so self aware about all my issues like okay what now girl

[dahlia-molinas]

if christopher nolan was really the visionary and ground-breaking director everyone claims he is he would have cast ben affleck as penelope

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[mousidy]

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

[spader7]

musa of mali