I want to share a perspective that might make some of you uncomfortable, but I urge you to keep an open mind.
To all the elder sisters out there, especially those with younger brothers...be open with them. I have a younger brother and I make sure he grows up seeing women as human beings, not mysteries.
I ask him to grab my towel, my pads, or my clothes when I need them. If I’m changing my shirt and he sees my bra, I don’t rush to cover up like it's something shameful. I watch movies with him that introduce natural intimacy..not in an inappropriate way, but in a way that normalizes affection and prevents unhealthy curiosity. I never want him to grow into a man who objectifies or disrespects women just because he was kept in the dark about their realities.
But it’s not just about that. I make sure he knows how to cook, clean and take care of himself. When I cook for him, I ask him to help..peel garlic, chop an onion, fetch ingredients.. because I know if I don’t, he’ll grow up thinking the kitchen is a place for women. I get him to wash utensils, mop the floor, do the little things that build respect for labor, regardless of gender.
And I talk to him...really talk to him. I ask him questions that make him think, like, ‘Whose death would break you the most?’ He answered ‘Mom’ with tears in his eyes. That moment mattered. I let him know it's okay to feel, to cry, to be soft when the world tells him to be tough. I teach him not just to respect women, but to respect people. He’s very conventionally handsome and I don’t ever want him to become a man who takes advantage of that. I want him to be kind, empathetic and responsible.
And to the elder brothers out there..you can do this too. You can teach your younger siblings, especially your brothers, to be good men by being one yourself. Talk to them. Let them see you struggle, be vulnerable, be human. Be there for your sisters when they need help, when they’re in pain. Buy them pads, bring them chocolate on their periods, listen to them when they rant about life. Because good men don’t just happen..they are raised, they are taught and they learn by example.
