for want of a better word

disabled/mad/queer/thirties

[enki2]

[thebdelliumlady]

For anyone wondering, the PhD student's name is Myra Cheng.

Here's a link to an article about the study from the Stanford Report: link.

[chapscher]

Across three preregistered studies, participants interacting with sycophantic AI became more convinced of their own rightness and less willing to repair relationships. Yet at the same time, participants rated sycophantic AI models as higher quality, more trustworthy, and more desirable for future use, which may explain why this behavior has persisted despite its harmful impacts.

Myra Cheng et al. "Sycophantic AI decreases prosocial intentions and promotes dependence." Science 391, eaec8352 (2026).

[mothric]

thinking about the time a former housemate said to me "hey I put these box fans in the living room because it's hot" while gesturing to the fans that I was actively sitting in front of because it was hot. and I said "okay thanks." and she kept standing there like she was waiting for something else so I said "am I blocking the airflow? do you need me to move?" and she said no I'm just letting you know they're here, in the living room, for circulation. and I said well yes, I did put that together. I am enjoying them. thank you. and she looked confused. so I asked "am I meant to do something with this information or are you just informing me?" and she said no I'm letting you know they're here because It's Hot In Here. she seemed a bit aggravated, and her emphasis seemed deliberate.

it took me asking three more times before she finally told me she wanted me to leave the fans where they are instead of moving them to my room or something. and I said oh! I had no intention of doing so but thank you for letting me know what the expectation is.

about a month later she brought up that conversation as the moment it actually clicked for her that I Am Autistic And Will Not Magically Intuit The Unspoken Request You Didn't Ask Me.

[mothric]

I have observed enough allistic communication to know that generally, if somebody points something out to you that you can already see or are already clearly interacting with, they are making an indirect request. but as I don't know what the request is, the only way forward is for me to guess (and likely get it wrong), or prompt the allistic to tell me clearly what they need.

however, allistics don't realize they do this, so asking them to say the unspoken surprises and confuses them. this is not their fault. allistics can be quite emotionally fragile and perceive directness as confrontation, so they habitually rely on indirect speech and coded language to preserve others' feelings. this is why they may find it difficult to be direct, even when asked. I have found that with enough gentle encouragement and reassurance that they are actually helping you, you too can achieve successful communication with your allistic friend or loved one. :)

[identitty-dickruption]

when you look at a psychiatric diagnosis and you see that it has a 3:1 diagnostic rate of women to men, it's more likely to be diagnosed in trans people than cisgender people, and it's most prevalent in hispanic people out of any ethnic group. you really do have to consider who benefits from a label that amounts to "Biologically and Pathologically Hysterical". yknow.

[identitty-dickruption]

it’s not a “stigmatised” disorder. it’s a disorder that was designed to stigmatise, to shame, and to oppress. acting as though the diagnosis is a stigmatised one is missing the part where this diagnosis is in fact meeting the exact purpose it was designed to fulfil

[beyond-a-name]

OP's tags from both the original post and the reblog were too good to hide.

that's really exactly it.

as someone who could very easily qualify for a diagnosis of bpd or cptsd, and even very often resonates with both, everything described in bpd is just a demonization of the same patterns of behaviour described by cptsd. it is just describing you as evil for struggling with being hurt so much, and in doing so, takes the focus away from the person hurting and puts it onto how it inconveniences everyone else.

we really need to be critical of how these labels come to be, because they are deliberately created, and they are created by people with biases. they are so often just a tool of oppression, another extension of a discriminatory machine.

I hope it isn't derailing, but I think this is also really illustrated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. "narcissist" was a word for an asshole before it was a word for a disorder. rather than describing how someone might struggle to relate to others or be open to true connection, and centering the person who needs to heal, they instead called everyone who struggles with that an irredeemable dick and dressed it up in medical expertise so you wouldn't think to question it. frankly I think it's silly to call for treating "narcissist" like some sacred medical term instead of looking at how fucked up it is that they called a disorder that???

it was ages ago, but there was a post on here talking about just how many "disorders" and diagnoses boil down to "shitty bitch disease". and well, once you see it, you never stop seeing it. anti-social personality disorder? shitty bitch disease. npd, shitty bitch disease. obstinate defiance disorder (come the fuck on) well that's shitty bitch disease. bpd is maybe the most classic example of this. you don't need to listen to her, she has shitty bitch disease. pay no mind to the fact that this label somehow only makes it onto the most marginalized. don't worry about that, because you don't need to listen to those people anyway. they don't have reasons or pain or bad days or feelings or any of that pesky stuff that real people have to explain their actions. no no, we haven't abused them, not at all. haven't you heard? they were broken from the start, and I can prove it. see? they have shitty bitch disease.

[muppetshow2026]

to be honest im really sick of the fact that fat people are supposed to suck it up when other peoples worst fear is looking like them

[grungixfungi]

Sorry I started sobbing uncontrollably when you expressed the slightest concern for my lack of human connection, and casually mentioned you think I deserve better than a life of isolation and loneliness. Super weird. Not sure what was up with that lol. You still think I’m cool and mysterious and sexy, right?

[faintlyhauntedsanctuary]

Leftists will be like "acab fuck the police they use their position of power to abuse people" but will wholeheartedly bootlick doctors and support the psych industry even though they do the exact same thing

[miss-wizard]

DO NOT LET SOCIAL MEDIA TURN YOU INTO AN AMERICAN

[coleblackblood]

As an American: Seriously, please don’t

[miss-wizard]

ok well i don't

[alatismeni-theitsa]

"Americanization" is a real phenomenon, and how non-Americans should be cautious of it is taught in different countries at school. It's taught in Greece and people from other countries told me their elementary or middle school teachers (using the American grades, to make it make sense to the majority on the site) talked to them about it.

It's common sense here, except for USians, so I'll analyze it a bit more for the dominant demographic here. In a globalized setting, the most dominant culture affects the others and sets the trends. The way our language works, how we think, our levels of politeness and intimacy, and our levels of respect. (flash news, they are going down 😂)

I don't want to imply that there is nothing good in the US. There are plenty of positives in the country. It's just that for the rest of the cultures online it's a constant daily fight to not forget our roots, with the degree US media and brands have permeated our lives. In Greece at least we watch more US American media than Greek media nowadays, and many of our shows are rip-offs of USian ones, with little adaptation to Greek reality and culture.

And to demonstrate the amount of this exposure, a 22-year-old Greek asked me the other day "if something happens we call 911, right?" This might have literally cost them their life, in a dangerous situation! Because all the movies and songs they consumed (not an unusual thing for the Greek youth) were what they knew. And I found a similar comment in this comment thread.

[kingwren]

Lots of Americans in the notes failing to understand this post. It's not about not liking the US. It's not about you feeling ashamed or guilty for being American. It's not about you.

It's about American media drowning out native language media all over the world, and workplaces requiring the English language in your repertoire more and more. It's about proper translations and foreign language dubbing of films disappearing because "everyone speaks/should speak English anyway." All of this is leading to the deterioration of native speaker groups of languages worldwide.

In my country, Dutch language courses can't find enough people who want to study the language, while English language courses are overflowing with people who want to study the language. There is even widespread distaste for the Dutch language for being crude or sounding rough or what have you. That's our native language!!! That is our culture in its purest form!!! That is knowledge we inherit from our parents as they did from theirs!!! That is how we learned fairytales and folk stories and myths!!! That is the language that shapes our communication and our way of thinking!!! To hate your native language is to hate yourself at the deepest level.

And yet it's so normalised. Droves of foreigners living in the Netherlands will never learn a word of Dutch, because "everyone speaks English anyway." We are the world's leaders in non-native understanding of English, but it comes at a cost. A grave cost we will continue to pay.

If you're looking to support your non-American friends in any way that is not performatively shouting "I hate being an American" into the void, first of all, unlearn that hatred of yourself and your culture. You are of no help self-flagellating, and there is a difference between holding your country accountable for its issues, and denying yourself your culture because your country is doing and has done bad things.

(I am not going to get into arguments about whether or not US American culture exists. It does, and if you think differently you are welcome to change your mind.)

Secondly, learn about other countries. Learn a bit of Chinese. Take an interest in the Italian political system. Ask your friends about their countries' folklore. Watch documentaries about art from Nigeria. Absorb information that is not fed to you by American media.

And thirdly, quit expecting your non-American friends to communicate in a way that appeals to you. The French and Dutch will always seem rude to you because our way of communicating is far more direct than the way you communicate. People from other cultures may seem vague to you because their way of communicating is far more indirect, and you're not used to that either. Quit being frustrated when you don't get what we mean exactly. Quit assuming we mean the absolute worst thing you could imagine just because you didn't get what we meant the first time. Ask us to explain if you need us to, and learn to accept that we are different from you.

We are already adapting to your culture 100% of the time we are online. It's your responsibility to adapt to us, too. At least do your friends the courtesy of learning about and adapting to them.

[onedivinemisfit]

We are already adapting to your culture 100% of the time we are online. It's your responsibility to adapt to us, too. At least do your friends the courtesy of learning about and adapting to them.

[flowercrowncrip]

I saw you made a post before about how you didnt know how carers are supposed to act can you maybe give some points about it because i might need one soon and im wondering whats good and bad

Honestly I’m still figuring it out, but here are some things I think I’ve figured out so far:

- carers should not act like you are a massive inconvenience if you need help/ ask for something to be done differently

- carers are not your friend while they are at work. They can be friendly and you can be friendly back, but they aren’t your friend while at work. Again this can be tricky, and I have one carer who I’m now friends (and colleagues) with, but there are important differences. When they were still my carer there were different social rules.

-if you go to a group or event a carer should be in the background unless you’ve specified otherwise. I once went to a trans group with a cis carer who spoke (a lot) during a group discussion. This was absolutely not okay. I really struggled with this at first because it would be so rude to do this in other forms of relationships. Becoming okay with this and insistent on it has improved my life so much.

- carers don’t get a say in what you do, wear, or go unless that is part of their job (say if you need help to tell what clothes are appropriate for the weather). This is a big difference between friends and carers. If I’m going somewhere with a friend they might suggest alternatives they find more fun, a carer shouldn’t do this.

- carers should respect that they are in your home/ life. So they shouldn’t leave their stuff all over your house, even if they stay for several days at a time. They shouldn’t move things without you asking. I have a room in my house where my carers stay overnight, and a designated cupboard in the kitchen/ shelf on the fridge and I expect their things to stay in those spaces.

That’s what I can think of off the top of my head. Anyone who has a carer is free to add to this.

[hahawishmeluck]

-keep track of their responsibilities, you should not have to remind them everything that needs to be done every single time

-not flake, especially getting meds bringing to appointments helping with forms etc

-be patient with you

[moonflowero1]

- should communicate clearly, ahead of time, their own needs and availability, without judgement towards you

- should not act defensive when you ask for something

- should remain calm and still help you, as needed and with consent, when you are triggered

- should not take pictures of you, your home, or your pets unless you specifically ask them to (ex so you can see what's in your fridge, check a wound you can't see), and should delete those photos ASAP if taken with a device that isn't yours

- should be alert and ready to help the whole shift. SOBER.

- should be understanding and receptive when you try to communicate with them, especially around boundaries that may seem unconventional to them

- should not struggle to be on the same page as you when you try to tell them to stop or give you space (ex if you freeze up and become unresponsive, they should be trying to check in with you, not continuing to touch you...)

- should be comfortable with both complete silence and lots of chatter

- should be able to roll with your worst moods

- should not be lovebombing you (getting you random gifts frequently, constantly saying how pretty you are, calling you pet names, being overly touchy outside of what's needed for care)

- should not act cold or spurned if you don't match their energy/friendliness

- should not lecture you on how you manage your care (if you manage it), your life, what you eat, who you make friends with, how you hire people (if you hire people), etc.

- should not share "funny stories" or names of their other clients with you (if they do, this means they're sharing your private life with others too)

- should not go behind your back to ask about your disability

- should commit to memory the way you want or need things organized in your living space and stick to that, instead of what's easiest for them

- should not make fun of you or joke about your disability (unless you've established a dynamic with them where you're okay with that, but they definitely shouldn't be like that right out the gate)

[sycamorality]

shoutout all my neurodivergent folk who Dont have autism or adhd

[sycamorality]

hey fellow autistic folk and adhders. this post isn't about you. this post is about all the other neurodivergence that is specifically Not autism or adhd. maybe the clearest post on the site about that actually. i'm autistic and have adhd too, but this post is specifically not about that. stop making it about your autism or your adhd.

it's about npd, bpd, psychosis, schizophrenia, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, dysgraphia, epilepsy, DLD, did, osdd (and any other plurality/multiplicity), depression, brain damage, anxiety, tourettes, down syndrome, ptsd, and everything else. it's specifically about neurodivergence that ISNT autism or adhd.

[lethalwizard]

can i just say it absolutely gives me the shits whenever yanks call an australian english and when corrected go “well same difference” cunt can you

[lethalwizard]

“yeah but it’s different because america has non english immigrants, and first nations peoples and-“ you have fucking thirty seconds left

[butt-rice]

i wish there was a way to say "you're right, but this is really ineffective and even counterproductive messaging to anyone who doesn't already agree with you" without sounding like an asshole

[tlirsgender]

Being critical of your interests is sooooo fun when you have the critic gene & then you sound kind of insane to the average tv watcher when you're like "this is my favorite show, It's Racist" & then you try to clarify what you mean & get that [Speech (legendary) - FAILURE] "the racism is really interesting though"

[tlirsgender]

[Speech (legendary) - SUCCESS] I find the sociopolitical context of pulpy old sci-fi born circa the civil rights movement really fascinating to analyze especially when it was progressive for its time but still reveals the writers' unexamined biases in the subtext

[sqbr]

Them: So you're saying its bad and I shouldn't watch it?

Me: I mean depends on your tolerance for this type of racism, but like I said it's my favourite show, it def has some great parts if you're up for it.

Them: Oh so it's not racist.

Me: It absolutely is.

Them: So you're saying racism is ok??

Me: No.

[mikkeneko]

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who hasn't been held in a decade: oh I'm pretty low maintenance, yeah honestly I think I'd find that overwhelming or something, can I just hold your hand instead? If that's okay of course?

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who feels ill at the notion of taking up space: yeah I can stand. Yeah honestly it's no biggie I like standing. Do you mind if I lean here? It's okay to say no.

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who would rather die than be considered selfish: I'm really sorry to ask I'm probably just being annoying but could I ask for another pillow? Yeah there isn't one in the room. Yeah no worries I can just bunch up some towels if needed.

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who's most outlandish and fantastical fantasies are a coffee date and seeing a movie with someone: oh I don't get out much. Yeah I don't really like being around people. I'm pretty much an introvert. Or something like that yeah.

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who would break down screaming and crying if someone showed even a hint of affection in person, who would fall apart at the seams if you held her still and asked her if she was okay, woman who if allowed too would wrap herself around you and sob and weep until she became severely dehydrated: oh yeah sorry I spaced out for a second there. Yeah I'm doing alright.

[standwithdaanes]

having a process for people who have done morally horrific things to make amends, rejoin community, and do right going forward is actually fundamentally crucial for the left. having a clear and accessible pathway for people to be socially (if not interpersonally) forgiven is how you get people radicalized against capitalism and imperialism and white supremacy and patriarchy. its how you turn turns "these people think i am a bad person" into "these people think something and someone coerced or forced me into doing bad things, and these people want to help me do something about that."

if you want more revolutionaries, you must have a system to turn guilty, traumatized, angry bystanders and collaborators into revolutionaries. and I say a system and process because its not "oh the drone operator said they were sorry and felt bad so its all good now :)" there is no shortcut here. but it is absolutely necessary. no revolution is comprised of morally pure people. in many cases, the most devoted revolutionaries are the ones who know exactly what it is like on the other side.

[soup-mother]

RIP bozos

[whyenn-reader]

firm believer you can't be a ''good person''. too much niuance to life.

[whyenn-reader]

you can be good (adjective) but you cannot be good (identity)

[whyenn-reader]

if you think you are good (identity) you are more likely to cause harm as you don't consider yourself to be capable of it

[transfagrified-in-the-void]

Here is a free pdf of the players handbook

Here is a free pdf of xanathars guide to everything

Here is a free pdf to monsters manual

Here is a free pdf to tashas cauldron of everything

Here is a free pdf to dungeon master’s guide

Here is a free pdf to volo’s guide to monsters

Here is a free pdf of mordenkainen’s tomb of foes

For all your dnd purposes

[zxiqky-wicky]

Reblogging for other dnd nerds

[demon-rum]

>^>

[jacobtheloofah]

also here is a whole website that not only has a shit ton of adventures and such but lets you search for any item or npc or whatever and see their stats and info at your fingertips

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

and here is the same version of the above website except it uses the 5e rules as they existed prior to the 2024 relaunch, which is what you’d prefer