I’ve been holding off on writing to you for a long time, even though I so often find myself wondering what you’re doing, how you’re doing, and what you’re experiencing. But I just haven’t had the strength to ask. To be honest, I was deeply hurt, and I struggled to come to terms with everything.
I fell head over heels in love with you and in the process, I lost touch with reality. I found myself dreaming. It was the kind of feeling that sweeps through your life unexpectedly, leaving nothing unchanged.
For a time, I allowed myself to go with the flow, dream wildly, to envision a life I had never imagined before.
It was as if you awakened longings in me that I didn’t even know I had, desires for something greater, something profound.
In the same time your very presence had a calming effect on me, grounding me in a way I didn’t know I needed.
When I learned you were returning to America so soon, just as I had begun to welcome you into my life, it felt as though the ground beneath me shifted.
I started dreaming following you. The idea of it consumed me - I wanted to be saved, to take a leap into a new world with you. My mind was filled with romantic ideas and I nurtured those dreams so carefully, right up until the moment you left.
I was desperate to hold on to something that I knew was slipping away, and yet I couldn’t find the words to tell you how I felt.
But somehow this feeling got me that I owe the explanation to you.
That last night we spent together remains etched in my memory, bittersweet and profound. Like a gift and a heartbreak.
So much was left unsaid. I had much to tell you, so much remained untried and I felt incapable of action.
But I really treasured every second we shared. You’ve lingered in my thoughts ever since and I miss the simple joy of being around you. Hang out with you.
I will never forget the way I felt as I watched you prepare to leave. It broke something in me but it also awakened something - a longing, a hope, perhaps even a kind of courage I hadn’t known before.
Since then, I’ve been trying to make sense of it all. Your presence, brief as it was, has stayed with me, lingered in my thoughts and shaped the way I see myself and the world around me. You made me dream and for that, I will always be grateful.
I’m only writing this to say thank you!
You left a mark on me, one that I’m only just beginning to understand. As time moves forward, I’m learning to let go of the past while finding grace in it.
As the future unfolds,
I leave the past behind,
and turn it to gold.
Wishing you all the best,
dededos
jacobvanloon
baratheonpilled
andulkaphoto
izzy806
areudirty
annaxmalina
