Quick access to my brain.

25, she/her, helplessly confused by this hellsite, but still tagging along for the ride.

[denaphoenix]

So, what have you been up to lately?

Oh, well, have you heard about this thing called "manic depressive episodes?" Yeah, it's kind of a new hobby.

[69shadesofgray]

indie band name generator:

your favourite fruit + the last reason you took painkillers

[jenroses]

Cherry migraine works

Peach neuralgia… Works

Nectarine arthritis… Not so much.

Hubby named his band “The Possible Side Effects” because who he makes music with depends on which convention he’s at, so he can joke, “The Possible Side Effects may include you!”

So he’ll say after that, “Tag yourself, I’m mild to moderate joint pain!”

[rosslynpaladin]

Apple Barometric Inflammation? Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue now does it.

[vaspider]

Blackberry Fibroid?

Lol.

[conqueringthenoodle]

Tomato cramps kinda slaps ngl. Me and my band tomato cramps. Oh who’s up there on the stage? Oh that’s just the tomato cramps. We hate the tomato cramps. We love the tomato cramps

[whitefriartuck]

Pomegranate Inflammation

[finleycannotdraw]

Orange Headache

[santacoppelia]

Banana Rheumatoid Flare

or

Banana Fucked Up Rotator Cuff

[howmanyholesinswisscheese]

Apple Stomachache – i mean… i can see it a little??

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Peach viral fever

Viral Peach Fever?

guys I’m so good at this-

[random-doctor-on-the-internet]

Multiple Raspberry Stab Wounds sounds cool, honestly. More punk than indie tho.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

…are you okay.

[denaphoenix]

Welcome to Lychee Menstrual Cramps!

[reality-detective]

1963 Refrigerator 🤔

[takineko]

Look what they took from us 😭

[wisegirlandseaweedbrainforever]

I am drooling

[wrenchinator-central]

This gets me more excited than anything smart refrigerators can offer. I want to learn refrigerator repair just so I can buy one and maintain it for all eternity.

[sadieb798]

I literally gasped

[denaphoenix]

How's this not being produced any more? I NEED this in my life. But no, all I get is shitty plastic. It's unfair. And I don't even care that that price means this thing would cost $4.7k in today money.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Azi *seduction mode on*: I wasn't always religious, but now I am, because you're the answer to all my-

Crowley: You're a literal angel, Aziraphale, what do you mean you weren't religious?

Azi:

Azi *trying again*: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Crowley: Angel, I didn't fall, I just sauntered vaguely-

Azi *slams down 101 pick up lines*: WILL YOU LET ME FLIRT-

[denaphoenix]

Hazbin Hotel - the first two episodes, but only how it made me feel about the characters without spoiling any plot.

Angel - I’m still in love with Angel. He’s a living, breathing closed door, layers upon layers of not himself while also seemingly having no filter - and the subtlety of letting little tiny glimpses of what’s underneath show is awesome. 

Vaggie - Vaggie is amazing. She’s got so much heart and cynicism, and it’s more well-balanced than I’ve ever seen it in fanfiction. Especially digging her vibes with Angel because she’s not really antagonising him, and I’ve got a feeling that underneath it all, she’s digging him just because he says the things she’s sometimes thinking, and then she doesn’t have to say it, and can instead tease Angel for having said it, because all in all she knows that whatever’s being said will fall on deaf ears anyways. (all of that mostly being conveyed in vibes) Also, who wouldn’t revel in annoying Angel Dust? He’s annoying after all!

Charlie - Still Charlie. I don’t think she’s entirely getting it. Any of the it. Another super layered performance that gives off major toxic positivity mixed in with the non-toxic normal positivity. I feel like she might be getting there, but not before something blows up in her face worse than it’s already blowing up in her face. I just really want to take her aside and slap her - in a good way. She’s just darling.

Alastor - literally screaming. He’s delicious. He’s just - a presence. Personified chaos, and just barely scraping that uncanny every second he’s there. Love how he just ignores everything he’s not interested in addressing, and seems to genuinely be standing above everything. Unphased, and easily agreeing when presented with arguments, while also never seeming like he’s losing in any exchange. Nothing’s personal for him, I feel like, and I dig that. He’s always either “ok fair”, “ok, fair, but” or “sorry to disappoint” - those are the three modes and I just want to be half as classy as him. Or at least half as unhinged.

Husk - he’s… there. The first two episodes gave me just enough of him to kinda get me settled with the new voice, and other than that, all he’s offering are Husk vibes - which are no-nonsense, and uninterested to the max. He’s doing things, sure, but it always has the vibe of him only doing them because walking away would have just been too much effort. Can’t wait for his no-nonsense to actually contribute to things.

Nifty - I am obsessed with Niffty. Loved her before, and now that we’re getting more actual character development, boy am I here for it. She’s got a character, and the character is single-minded, trope-based, obsession. And I’m here for it. 

Sir Pentious - amazing voice acting, and Pent just continues to be so FUN. I’m pretty sure he’s got about one brain cell, and the results of that give me life. 

Adam - ok, I feel like I need to be spoiling this, because he himself said it best. He’s quite literally “the original dick”, and I don’t mean it in the way he seems to see it. There, I said it. He’s making my skin crawl, and while I’m still on the fence with how he’s being voiced, the longer I think about it, the more I think that that was actually a smart move to balance out the ick with some ridiculousness so they can have him make his statements before everyone with a vagina switches off. So yeah, barely bearable, and I don’t know if I want him to be even that bearable, because he could otherwise be powerfully unbearable.

Lute - highly dislikeable girl, and in the best way possible. Heartless and uncaring, and deep in the rationalisation tunnel. I wanna hug her just to get the experience of getting pushed away.

Velvette - will take some serious getting used to, that one. Don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this. I think what might have put me off was her voice being more… idk… cockney than expected? Or… deep? Or… assertive? Or…sane? Uhm, I don’t know what it is, really, if I’m being honest. Pretty sure I will get around to digging her eventually though. Because the potential is SO there. So yeah, kind of looking forward to getting that to click.

Valentino - currently unlocking a new tier of hating Valentino - the “I do not understand his vibes” tier, which is very much interlinked with the realisation that I do not see whatever the casting team must have seen in Valentino’s voice actor. Whatever they were going for, I don’t think they got there. I don’t even like to hate him… he’s just - taking me out of the story with his line delivery and fucking with my mind in a non-good way.

Vox - Vox is the complete opposite to Val in terms of my feelings - I love, love LOVE Vox. He’s absolutely awesome, and I just want MORE of him. The voice acting’s got so much depth. He’s bringing the sleazy, and the despicable, but also the deeply HUMAN underneath it all - which just makes his scenes with Val all the more jarring. 

Katie Killjoy - yeah, she’s just Bryce Tankthrust in hell. A tad underwhelming, but the meta’s funny, so I’ll certainly be able to deal.

All in all, it was a solid two episodes, and the music was banging, so I'm still aboard the hype train.

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

Yes, Charlie They Had Their Chance

The Christian in me really feels rubbed the wrong way when Charlie says the people down in hell are just people who made mistakes well in my opinion if you keep on doing wrong in life time and again it eventually catches up to you and you end up paying for it. I do think eventually you need to run out of chances so you can finally hit home how much your choices hurt people. Seriously, damnation as a concept isn't injustice it's the ultimate point of justice because you just have to finally make people realize how much their actions have consequences and again it falls into the stupidity that the sinners are just poor babies in need of direction when you blatantly ignore the VVV's.

[denaphoenix]

Yes, Charlie is wrong. But so is Adam.

YES, hell is not just "people who made mistakes". Some demons in hell are horrible people, who chose themselves over others time and time again, people who can not be redeemed, and have no interest in being redeemed, as, I am certain, they do not consider anything they did to have been a mistake. BUT I am also certain that there are people who regret their choices. People who have made mistakes. People who life treated unfairly. People who have the potential for Good, capital G, if given a fair chance.

Having damned those people is not wrong, given the path their lives took, but I don't think that, in an afterlife where you continue to make choices, those choices they make after they die should be discounted out of principle.

They done did fucked up, yes. But continuing to punish a person that wants to better themselves can't be the ultimate solution. Their suffering should not be entertainment for others who are just as fallible, and somehow lucked out in the lottery of life. And I say it like that intentionally, because no truly GOOD person would consider slaughtering humans "entertainment", and if you do, you deserve to be in hell just as much as the people whose demise you enjoyed.

The whole point is that it's not cut-and-dry, black-and-white, and that the heaven in Hazbin Hotel is tainted, because by the looks of it the commander of their army is a misogynistic sociopath who, by all mortal rules, should be burning in hell for not only murdering, but getting enjoyment out of it, all while putting the get-out-of-jail-free-card of "divine ordainment" in front of his actions.

[pansyfemme]

relationships and jobs are temporary. your shitty unpopular tumblr blog is forever

[sonic-justice-real-for]

[kuromi-hoemie]

[denaphoenix]

I just fell in love with these dinos. Deal with it.

[spirantization]

I really deeply appreciate the storytelling craft that has gone into ensuring that David Tennant is the Doctor forever, and can appear at any time without requiring weird timeline shenanigans. This is fan service, yes, but I'm certain the #1 fan this is servicing is in fact David Tennant.

[denaphoenix]

Honestly this just seems like an excuse to have Easter specials every year from now on? Oh, it's hard to find, you say? Well, not anymore, because you're now living in sequence, and have no excuse to not go around fighting the Easter bunny with your adopted time-shenanigans niece!

[nutmeggery]

my headcanon is that the toymaker's musical number was actually the master's idea. the master whispered from his little golden tooth "hey, you should do a campy music bit. that really scares him."

[denaphoenix]

You know what? That makes PERFECT sense.

[chongoblog]

Haters be like

“It’s totally possible to make a path that goes through every door exactly once”

[hexea]

Idk if I did it right

[chongoblog]

sorry!

[c0rpseductor]

it’s true you can’t draw one continuous line that would do the trick. but if the kitty and bunny set out by going through the doors they’re marked beside and each walked the certain way their colored arrows show at the same time their “collective path” as a team would go through each door only once. The moral of the story is actually about friendship , and cooperation, because in this world there are tasks you can’t do on your own.

im just fucking with you i’m pretty sure this has no right answer

[2pacula]

i concocted a solution with a 100% mortality rate

[chongoblog]

Stop being so incredibly funny on my impossible puzzle post

[sharkiethedork]

You can switch the tracks so the trolley will kill one person, or you can allow it to attempt the fruitless crusade of running over each person in the maze only once.

[catgirldick]

all in a days work! *passes out*

[kittybunprincess]

My indecisive butt, walking in and being faced with having to make a decision, immediately leaving

[pixiecatsupreme]

oOoOoooo I’m a ghost!

[kipplekipple]

Fire

[jo3mm]

dude my house

[tahthetrickster]

[piedude]

What I love about tumblr is when we see a logic problem meant to be frustrating and/or unsolvable, we almost reflexively try to destroy it.

This website’s userbase is a chimp chewing through a Chinese finger trap

[a-queer-little-wombat]

Doot de dooo, just walking through each door just once….

[archnemesisgoldenhair]

Cmon y'all

Was this really that hard?

[pnkq]

you missed one pal-

[weirdnessdept-deactivated202407]

[denaphoenix]

You know... they said to "make a path" not necessarily to "draw a consecutive line"... This beautiful, forked path leads through every door only once. You won't be able to follow it without passing at least one door twice, but that wasn't a requirement, now was it?

[redshoes-blues]

RTD said I’m going to give the gays what they want: existential horror and Fourteen being Donna’s gay best friend

[denaphoenix]

I think the "existential horror" part of that sentence often gets overlooked. Because I'm bi, and while Newton WAS weirdly hot, it was the existential horror I stuck around for. This is the real gay agenda. More existential horror.

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Mr Gaiman,

I recently saw a repost on Pinterest where the user explained a curious detail about a clock in the background of THE SCENE (yes, that scene)(I'm positive you know which one I'm referring to)(it's the one where they kiss if you haven't figured it out). The post also mentioned that you dismissed the theory. However, I couldn't help but notice a comment below stating, and I quote, "Pretty sure someone asked Neil Gaiman and he denied this. I am also pretty sure he's a lying liar who lies." Since then, all I could do was wonder if Neil Gaiman is indeed a lying liar who lies. So, my question is Mr. Gaiman, are you a lying liar who lies? 🤨🤨

Nope.

[denaphoenix]

What I first wanted to say was "I think he's lying". But is he, really?

Because, really, Neil Gaiman is NOT "a lying liar who lies".

He's an "obfuscating obfuscator who's obfuscating the truth"!

Can't lie if you're not giving a straight answer, now can you?

Neil's answer to the clock thing was "it SOUNDS like..." That's not a NO. And it's not a yes either. It's a non-answer. And Neil REALLY, REALLY likes those.

[thememedaddy]

[hg-aneh]

hi, i Hope you're having a great time and recovering <3

i'm in love with all your art, It makes my brain go brrrr

i don't want ti be inappropriate, but i was wondering if you will post aziracrow fanart again, just to know

love your drawings, Hope you have a very wonderful and marvellous day!

no, this is my new otp

[rylandsgrace]

#6000 years... and he still asks for Her help

[patrice-bergerons]

This is the thing that's so beautiful and devastating about Crowley, isn't it? He recognises Heaven for the corrupt institution that it is, but that hatred does not ever extend to God. Also consider the scene in the Job arc, where he and Aziraphale watch Job talk to God and Crowley says 'but just to be able to ask questions.' (The fact that Aziraphale does not question his presence there also drives me insane but separate post).

So Crowley was cast out and he doesn't even know why ('all I did was ask questions') and God won't talk to him. I think that separation, that rejection, hurts even thousands of years later and, deep down, Crowley thinks it was his own fault and failing that he fell. Hence, for example, the way he terrorises his plants.

But even when he wants to maintain that he is what he is supposed to be, what everyone says that he is (wicked, wretched, fallen) he is still there on earth doing what he thinks is right, whether that's showing Jesus the world or saving Job's children or helping Elspeth.

And this is also why I keep wondering whether God let him fall not as punishment but out of Her love for humanity, because humanity deserves someone who will stand with them in the mud and fight for them day in and out. Someone who will ask questions. A light even in the thickest darkness.

[denaphoenix]

Turn the knife, why don't you?

I think it's remarkable that in 6000 years Crowley never went beyond questioning. He does not have answers, and he doesn't make them up himself, like most other demons must have done ages ago. I think that that is what distinguishes Crowley from all other demons. Crowley turned away from God when he didn't get answers, making it a condition to his obedience. Yet he never found himself agreeing with Hell in that Her judgment was outright wrong. Because he just doesn't know. When he finds out that earth should be destroyed he doesn't say "I think that's stupid so God must be wrong" he says "why? Are there reasons I don't know that would make it make sense?" And so he spent 6000 years questioning God, without ever arriving at the point where one would go "well, She must just be a right old cunt." Not when She drowned the kids, not when She gave in to Satan who wanted to make Job suffer, not when She allowed Her chosen people to nail Her son to a cross - not ever. He still believes there might be a reason. That maybe he is wrong, and not God. That the angels are wrong and not God. That there must be something else going on, because while he does believe it to be an option, what would be the point if God were wrong?

[vidavalor]

The pub scene is even funnier when you consider that poor Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets has likely had this longtime pash on Aziraphale and, like everyone on Whickber Street, he has no idea who exactly The Ginger Goth With The Old Car is. He knows the prevailing theory is mafia but Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets has seen Ginger Goth hanging around Mrs. Sandwich and her "Sandwich Shop" and also around the bookshop a bit and also some naked guy was also at the bookshop recently, so... what's the likeliest conclusion drawn by Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets? That the old bookseller's lonely and paying for it.

He sees them come into the pub and thinks Aziraphale is classy like that and is taking the sex worker for a drink first or maybe that's part of it-- he's gone the whole 'boyfriend experience' route. Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets sees Aziraphale with that chest stroke of that Thin Dark Duke he's paying and while Mr. Brown (of Brown's World of Carpets, just FYI) isn't here to judge and gets it as he's lonely, too... and while he does think the bookseller picks some hot ones... he wants to give Mr. Fell the real thing. The kind of love you can only get between two middle-aged, still-sorta-closeted queers like they are. He'll be someone the bookseller can talk to and find some genuine chemistry with, Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets will be, so he decides to shoot his shot and knows the bookseller is skittish from their past interactions, so he goes for the meeting option. He'll have to come over to drop off the chairs, of course. Give them an excuse to talk more, alone, when Mr. Fell is not, erm, entertaining.

And poor Mr. Brown--President of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Association, Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets is-- fine, upstanding, boring as all holy fuck fella... He's met by Crowley coming over with drinks and a greeting that says this is neither the first time, nor, he doubts, will it be the last that he's had to Husband the bookseller but again, Mr. Brown of Oh, You Know By Now thinks this is a bit, so he's not intimidated.

"I was just absolutely hitting on him for real, unlike you," is what he basically told Crowley when explaining what they were chatting about.

And Crowley's like lol you got him flustered enough to host this meeting. Good on you, Mr. Whoever the Fuck You Are from Whatever Shop You Run. Look at you *go*. 😍 I've got a new favorite human, Aziraphale.

He's all "you astonish me" to Aziraphale, teasing him like you're leading the poor, balding bastard on, angel. I know it's hard for you to reign in your divine sex appeal but you should maybe try. His heart is only human, after all.

Mr. Brown still thinks Crowley's a sex worker though so he doesn't give up and is all like remember, Mr. Fell, our date is right after work on Thursday in a group setting to set you at ease but I'll see you first to set it all up because I want you and I want to make sure you know I'm not just here for the business meeting.

Crowley: That's it-- I'm adopting you, Ballsy Mr. Carpet. I like your style. But you'll never wear my angel down. We've been married for 6,000 years. I am definitely up for saving you from some demons on Thursday though and making it rain on you and literally any fruity, single shop owner in the greater metro area next season. You're on the deck after my shop lesbians. Now piss off, Mr. Barnes. We haven't been to the pub in ages and you're in my seat.

[afriendstolovers]

!!!!!!!

[denaphoenix]

Thank you for trying to elaborate, but ONCE AGAIN I cannot tell which one of them's supposed to be Crowley.