and weep, for I am not there.

you have to understand my brain is 💯% empty early 20's/only adding to make blogs I follow comfortable 😚

[kosmogrl]

[frog43]

wha t if oregon trail was called wagon age: oregons

[naamahdarling]

This made me so angry the first time I saw it I’m reblogging it again.

[luxiethefool]

happy 10 years to wagon age oregons

[vulvalini]

[scottbaiowulf-deactivated201805]

Male writers writing female characters:

“Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.”

[m1ssc0mmun1cat10n]

‘ She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards’ is the greatest fucking sentence I have ever read.

[silly-activites]

THE ORIGINAL??

[dduane]

(smh) Never thought I’d see it in the wild. Yet here it is. :)

[summercrane-deactivated20201109]

Visit Original Link

[maplebungus-deactivated20221118]

this post has been a wild ride for me

[official-graveyard-posts]

Official graveyard post

[unyieldingsilence]

‎ ‎

[cheaphalloweencostume]

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

[cheaphalloweencostume]

happy birthday devils sacrament. i wish you were never born

[hollanovarchive]

Hey 💗

I hate RR for saying that Ilya has no close friends in Boston. Could you rec some fics in which Ilya has a support system in Bostom? Maybe a list with best bro Cliff? Or best team Bears? Or Sveta is simply the best?

Thanks. 🌟

I have a few!!

Ilya's Support Crew

🏒 of a certain age | 7.5

Cliff figures out why Ilya’s keeping his Montreal girl a secret. She’s not a girl at all...she's an elderly woman. Or maybe an elderly man?

🏒 penthouse of your heart | 11.0k

Cliff's investment in getting Ilya to admit he's more invested than normal in Montreal Jane throws him and the Boston Raiders down the path of queer allyship

🏒 my best friend's new best friend | 11.7k

Cliff is very proud to be Ilya Rozanov's best friend (or at least his best male friend). But then Ilya moves to Ottawa, dodges Cliff's attempts to hang out and, oh yeah, suddenly announces a close friendship with a guy he's hated for most of a decade. This would be much simpler to deal with if Cliff had any idea how to talk to Roz about feelings. Or how to talk about feelings at all

🏒 Friendship In Retrospect | 14.2k

Cliff Marleau gets assigned to keep the new Russian rookie out of trouble. Fifteen years later, he gives a speech at Ilya's wedding

🏒 Store Bought is Fine | 28.2k

Ilya Rozanov does not come pre-installed with good communication or healthy coping skills. Is he going to seek out help on his own? Hell no! But when a family member kills himself, fellow Boston Raider and friend Cliff Marleau decides that Ilya is going to therapy come hell or high water. And Ilya... well, Ilya is just playing along to keep the peace. Right? He doesn't need therapy. But if it helps his friend be less worried, so be it

🏒 If It Wasn't for that Meddling Kid | 101k

Ilya stays in Boston, gets a rookie, and tries to figure out how to make a secret long distance relationship work while there's a Russian teenager in his house

🏒 New City, Same Idiots | 106k

Cliff Marlow gets traded to Ottawa and Ilya Rozanov better be ready to run it back

🏒 Something You Can Fix Series

Make sure to check out other fic rec request here -> Requested Lists

[loveridden1999]

jesus was yeast

[baddywronglegs]

Happy Yeaster

[mostlyvalid]

A proposal

Sometimes, in fandom, we just want to write id-tastic fic that rolls around in tropes that might be viewed as problematic. But we don’t want to address the problematic side of things in this particular fanwork; we just want to roll around and wallow.

It is considered courteous to give readers a heads-up via use of AO3 tags. I propose a tag that signals that a given fanwork is for rolling around, not giving a measured evaluation of anything. The MCU has carved out a space for this sort of fic with the “HYDRA Trash Party” tag, for which I commend them. Trash Party is a bit too specific to cover all of the ground I’m thinking of here, though; I propose “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.”

For those of you not familiar with Arrested Development, Michael Bluth finds a paper bag in the freezer labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.” He opens the bag, finds a dead dove, and reacts as follows:

[gif of a white man saying “I don’t know what I expected” in a deadpan manner]

The “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tag would essentially be a “what it says on the tin” metatag, indicating “you see the tropes and concepts tagged here? they are going to appear in this fic. exactly as said. there will not necessarily be any subversion, authorial commentary condemning problematic aspects, or meditation on potential harm. this fic contains dead dove. if you proceed, you should expect to encounter it.”

(more at KnowYourMeme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-dont-know-what-i-expected)

[lazy-universes]

WHOA WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THE POST THAT SPAWNED DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

[yourlocaltinsmith]

Happy dead dove do not eat birthday!

[novur]

Visit Original Link

SO SOME ASSHOLE GOT HOLD OF MY PHONE AND CHANGE ALL MY CONTACT NAMES, ICONS AND RINGTONES TO THIS FUCKING THING

SO NOW WHENEVER I GET A CALL MY PHONE THINKS IT’S BEING ALL CUTE LIKE “it is a mystery >O>” FUCK YOU MAN

[darling-highness-deactivated201]

This is a blessed post and that ringtone is the cutest thing bUT I CAN NEVER FIND THE FUCKING POsT FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS

[yiffkashit-deactivated20171026]

its was a mystery

[47-protons]

i’ll find the post five years from now but technically by cheating see y’all in a bit

[ncanspeak]

I cheated, see you in 5 years

[nonbinary-octopus]

did you do both now and in 5 years or did your scheduling have an error?

[djkoenig-deactivated20140905]

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

[chronically-ill-dandy]

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

[djkoenig-deactivated20140905]

thanks for ruining my post jackass

[chronically-ill-dandy]

(￣^￣ﾒ)＼✿ "Fine, I'ma keep ya damn flower.“  

[sandmandaddy69]

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

[ferret-on-pancakes]

[its-your-mind]

[miteistic]

[nick-nonya]

[cleanedupcorporationprogress]

[boothyghost]

[all-save-challenge]

I love this post especially the rat part

going on me feed

[trolleybusaberrations]

what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post

[bingle-official]

[primordialsoupvendor]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

[cthoseris]

[neuronary]

‘redditors need to know this’, ‘twitterinas need to know that’… no. you need to know one thing and that is that you are not allowed to complain about werewolf fuckers. this is the werewolf fucking website. grow up and go fuck a werewolf.

[once-a-polecat]

[were--ralph]

What does this gif have to do with werewolves?

[flizaa]

if you have to ask you’re not ready

[were--ralph]

can you explain? i don’t get it

[thefirstanomally]

This is like someone just informed the newcomers about the devils sacrament taking place every full moon and the devil itself popped up asking “what sacrament?” with a cheshire grin.

[ufo-offical]

*flies past*

[the-tree-line]

we could go back to telegraphs instead of social media. send your mutuals unspeakable strings of morse code at 4:30am

[the-tree-line]

.- …. …. …. …. …. / ..-. . .-.. .-.. / -.. --- .-- -. / .- -. -.. / -… .-. --- -.- . / -- -.-- / .--. . -. .. - … / - --- -.. .- -.-- / -.-- . --- .-- -.-. …. / --- ..- -.-. …. / -.-- --- ..- -.-. …. -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- / … . -. - / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- -.-- / - . .-.. . --. .-. .- .--. ….

[kaijutegu]

personally i prefer semaphore

[iridescent-lightning]

so prefacing this with the fact that I know that the fun is sorta taken out of this by me translating, but not everyone will have the energy to look it up themselves, so I figured I'd help out.

Morse code: AEEEEE FELL DOWN AND TROKE MY PENIT TODAY YEOWCE OUCH YOUCH!!!! SENT FROM MY TELEGRAPH

Semaphore: NO NOT YOUR PENITS

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that

[yaldabaothadeez]

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a slapping,

As of some one gently flapping, flapping at my chamber door.

“’Tis some fairy,” I muttered, “slapping at my chamber door—

            Only this and nothing more.”

[wintersoldierfell]

Quoth the walrus, "Are you sure?"

[its-your-mind]

Took this as a challenge and queued this for two years from now

[hongjoongpresent]

ID: tags from livingnotetonote that reads: in 2 years this will be incomprehensible. End ID

[avidreaderffn]

do you know what this is talking about

yes, i was there gandalf

yes, i wasnt here for it but i've heard about it

.....no?

Voting ended onMar 18

[baddywronglegs]

"I was there Gandalf"

Fucker I've not been allowed to leave there

[javascript-official]

I am sorry I am not very good with bussiness, is it good when the market looks like this.

[javascript-official]

you people have one joke

[madlori]

I enjoy it immensely when a commenter addresses all of Tumblr as "you people" as if they aren't here at the devil's sacrament with the rest of us

[caspercryptid]

New sleep style: hitting the snooze button so many times that you sleep two additional hours in ten minute intervals. I call this Horse Sleep

[caspercryptid]

Worse sleep. That was meant to say worse sleep

[caspercryptid]

I Am So Fucking Tired

[caspercryptid]

Literally immediately after reblogging this to correct it I went "wow, it has a reblog already?" And got all the way to checking my notifs before I realized. That it was me.

[caspercryptid]

I actually wasn't that far off you guys

[caspercryptid]

HOLY SHIT THE POST IS SAVED

[caspercryptid]

Anyway horse sleep: sleep, but horse. Worse. Sleep but worse. Definitely one of the two.

[caspercryptid]

We shall have a summer wedding

[earhartsease]

the night mares will continue

[martindykewood]

do you guys remember “kick his ass baby i got yo flower”

[onelonelystory]

this is like asking a medieval christian monk if he remembers the ten commandments like if not what have I been wasting my years learning