check out my statues

toxic thottery

[mumblesplash]

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

[infectiouspiss]

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

[infectiouspiss]

mommy needs you to print this document now and if you don't mommy is going to turn you off at the wall

[infectiouspiss]

listen to mommy okay? if you don't be a good little printer and fucking print my document and i know you want to okay mommy can see it in your print queue if you don't. print. my fucking document. mommy's going to get the hammer

[urie]

americans are sooo desensitized to guns and sometimes it manifests in ways that affect your media literacy. like remember in the first episode of sherlock when john watson opens up his drawer and you see a gun in there and youre supposed to understand that this is narratively significant and conveys his suicidality as well as his willingness to skirt rules and laws but the first time i watched it i was like oh well theres his desk gun. lots of people have those

[organisminparadise]

Wyd after drinking the Linux slurpee

[ominous-signs]

wait.

[otpprompts]

Excuse me , what do notp mean ?

[circusclownproductions]

“Can I be mean for a second” I would not care if you killed the bitch in front of me. Now what’s bothering you queen

[thereissomethingunderthestairs]

Will you treat him gently with his bread soft carapace...? (...)

[e-102]

THIS ONES FOR AMELIA

[cookie-sheet-toboggan]

baby girl I don't know what that acronym means. it would be so sexy of you to write out that piece of media's name in its entirety. Just the one time for momma please.

[rubysapphrald]

i didn’t know perez hilton was a stage name that he purposefully modelled after paris hilton’s real name i thought she just organically had an evil gay wario or something

[tripleabatterybuni]

never beating the siblings allegations

[deep-state-partisan]

[dwinkus]

peasant visionary: & then it stood before me, a towering wheel of flame that beheld me with 10,000 shimmering eyes!

me: idk man it still sounds like an ocular migraine

peasant visionary: #MyGrain

[fairycosmos]

[bumblebeebats]

This was genuinely what it was like growing up in New Agey circles btw, my mum's friends would come round like "So I went out to the woods this weekend and fasted and meditated and I had a vision of the Sacred Stag and all my guardian angels and I asked them how to find love and they said that I need to focus on my own healing first and stop repeating cycles of the past" and then the very next week it'd be like "So I'm back with James again" girl..... the Sacred Stag could not have been more clear....

[weird-goodbyes]

please lord, take all of Perlah’s pain and discomfort and give it to Ogilvie. please lord, take all of Princess’s pain and discomfort and give it to Ogilvie. please lord, take all of Dana’s pain and discomfort and give it to Ogilvie. please lord, take all of Donnie’s pain and discomfort and give it to Ogilvie. please lord, take all of Emma’s pain and discomfort and give it to Ogilvie.

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[dibellan]

ppl who post x reader fic in the tags, what is ur aversion to the read more function? this is a genuine question

[lokaror]

did you seriously just allocate skill points mid conversation...? thats so rude...

[orcposts]

okay well you've been save scumming this whole date so like....

[lokaror]

*loads back to before you noticed*