A-musing Stargirl

A shy nocturnal college student and aspiring YA writer

[distant-stargirl]

Hey my lovelies,

Soooo if you’ve been following my Twitter account (link to which is in the menu bar of my page, please visit it, my beautiful page which I tried so hard to set up for all of you is getting lonely 😢 ) you’d know that I recently went out and bought a LOT of books from Barnes and Noble! Heck yeah! Gosh I absolutely love books and it’s been wayyyy too long since I’ve been at my local B&N store. It’s just so soothing for me to visit it, get myself either tea or hot coco with a pastry sit down and just r e a d. Yeah, I’m a geeky bookworm and I love it. Books, and the occasional manga, are my sustenance and it’s also been too long since I’ve bought some of my favorite books/manga for myself and added to my growing book collection. Also shout-out to the incredibly friendly and chill Barnes and Noble staff who absolutely took all of my queries about where certain books were located in stride and not once were irritated by how often I returned to ask where another one was located. You guys are the best and thank you so crazy much for putting up with me and my stupid queries!!! So let me deconstruct these books, why I bought them for myself, and why they’re my favorite in this PART 1 post:

Boneless Mercies by April Genevieve Tcholke  Honestly I know nothing about this book, it just jumped out at me as I was looking for the other books that are in the picture and after reading the flap summary and finding out that it was a dark fantasy novel with its own world and females having magical killing powers I knew this was the book for me and I had to have it so I could read it for myself. Sadly I haven’t read it yet, but it’s definitely sitting high up on my to-read list right now.

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia This Young Adult realistic fictional novel I’ve read before based on a recommendation from a local librarian friend, and once I got past the awkward beginning I just couldn’t put it down and finished the rest in almost one go. The book is about an awkward teen named Eliza Mirk who is an artist/author for a famous online websomic called Monstrous Sea. Whilst she is practically famous and extremely adept at the online sphere she keeps this persona very separate from her real life, thus making her out very awkward in her high school and constantly battles with negative thoughts from her social anxiety. Thankfully all of this changes when she meets a fellow Monstrous Sea fan Wallace who is actually... well nah I’m not gonna spoil it for you guys :P But anyways, I absolutely loved how this book described social anxiety along with the depressive thoughts Eliza faces later on and it really touched me at how accurate and realistically it described them. I knew I had to have this book for myself and today was the day I decided to get it

Kitchen Princess Volume 1 omnibus by Nastumi Ando & Miyuki Kobayashi So some of you may not know but I’m an avid fan of Japanese comics, otherwise known as manga. Well, this is another series that I’ve read before about a girl named Najika who has a special talent of having absolute taste which means that if she tastes something she can almost always recreate the recipe almost perfectly for what it is, if not improve it too! But Najika isn’t too focused on her special talent, what she wants is to find the boy who first inspired her to live by giving her some flan to eat after her parents passed away leaving Najika all by herself. And the only thing she has to go by is a spoon that was included with the flan leading her to the prestigious Seika Academy. The manga follows Najika through her ups and downs at Seika Academy as she discovers and navigates through her inherent cooking/baking talent and secretly searches for the boy that stole her heart so many years ago. So. I am a total sucker for insipid high school romance stories and this was one of the prime ones I’ve read a long time ago. Plus I’ve already read manga with Kobayashi’s artwork and Ando’s storyline and I knew I loved their artist/writer combination so this one wouldn’t disappoint me. Of course this is only 1 of 5 omnibus volumes which contains both volumes 1 & 2 and I can’t wait to slowly collect the rest of the volumes month by month, so excited!

The Ancient Magus’ Bride by Kore Yamazaki Another manga I’ve been wanting to get for a while! So for a while I’ve seen this manga really gaining a huge following over the years to the point that I even saw it being sold at my high school’s Scholastic book fair. Honestly, I wasn’t all about this book back then especially after reading summary of it despite it really being everything I should want in a manga (I was stupidly only focused on those insipid high school romance manga I mentioned before). But the years passed and I once again happened upon it at my local library and thought heck I may as well try it and see where it got me. And boy did it get me. Right from the start I was dragged under with its basic yet fascinating fantasy elements especially with its otherworldly characters and lore behind it all. It had pretty much everything I could ever hope for: an immersive and developing side-world within the real world, unique and magnetic characters, a developing magical lore, and even a small hint and undercurrent of a budding romance between the two main characters. And if my memory serves me right, I believed that the first novel actually was the one that explored the character relations and romance aspect the most so I decided to finally buy it for myself so that I could return to it at any point I wished. plus the first couple volumes had the most magical lore exploration and artwork as well so heck, another reason why I should buy this novel! Aaaaaand finally... last but not least:

Waiting for you by Susanne Colassanti Yeah, yet another insipid high school romance novel by one of my favorite YA authors. What? I love these novels especially the ones that explore the heavy mental disorders and how it feels/is to live with them on a day to day basis. This one features Marissa a teen high school girl that suffers from general anxiety and the depression that stems from it as well. The book is pretty much how she navigates her spiraling family, her search for a boyfriend, and how to support her friend Sterling who is constantly attracted to boys that are well outside her age range. Although I do love this book to absolute bits because of its mental health awareness, I feel like the book is more of a summary of the things Marissa goes through and it doesn’t really emotionally or spiritually connect with the situations that she faces. They kind of fall flat most of the time since a lot of these things are mostly told rather than shown I guess. Shame because this book really faces some serious thoughts about depression and all.

So these are some of the books I’ve been dying to buy for myself and finally decided enough was enough and bought them for myself a few days ago. Of course this isn’t a complete list of all the books I’ve wanted for myself, which i why this is just a PART 1 post as I’m already planning to buy the books which were out of stock at B&N’s today. So definitely tune in and follow me to get a notification about the future post about the other books that I decide to buy for myself and a possible deconstruction behind them as well!!! Thank you for everyone who read this post to the very end, and here’s a kookie as thanks and congrats 🍪<---- kookie!!! I really hope I didn’t bore y’all out of your minds with this deconstruction, and for those who left in the middle of it, I’m really sorry you didn’t decide to stay to the end but I understand that I can be very monotonous at times (damn me and my perfectionist nature!!!).

Anyhow, thank you all my lovelies for reading all of this again, and follow me to keep an eye out for a part 2 of this!!! Good night my lovelies, sweet dreams and as always.... I’ll catch you all on the flip-blog side!

~ Distant-Stargirl out!

[distant-stargirl]

New username/URL name change + reason behind it all

Hey all,

It me again, your neighborhood Distant-Stargirl. Yeah, I kinda forgot to let y’all know that I have a new URL, as some of you may have may have noticed from my last post. If you haven’t noticed, well, I’ve changed my username from Stargirl868 to the new and improved Distant-Stargirl, mainly because I didn’t like how impersonal my username was, especially with the numbers on the end of it. So I decided to change it to something that was unique, memorable, and suited my kind of personality but also keeping the general stargirl feel as well! So cue the new name change to Distant-Stargirl.🎉🎆🎇✨ Feel free to shout it from the rooftops to whomever wants to know!

Actually this is a nice time to talk about how and why I chose the name Stargirl, the meaning behind it, and why I’ve stuck to it all these years. So several years ago, when I was either finishing up middle school or starting high school, I was bored so I decided to read a book that was collecting dust on my shelf called Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. The book is about a unique and unusual girl who goes by the name of Stargirl, formerly Susan, who transfers into a new conservative midwest school after being homeschooled for her whole life. At first everyone is enchanted by her eccentric nature at how she plays her ukulele and serenades birthday students during lunch, how she dresses to make a fashion statement, and how she dances in the rain without a care in the world. She especially captures the attention of the narrator Leo, another male student in her grade, and steals his heart too.  But soon Stargirl’s eccentricity begins to turn the student body away from her. It starts with her attending a basketball game and cheering for an incredibly outplayed opposing school team (I think it was like 75 to 35 or something or other), which is a big no no in the high school social sphere. After that Stargirl is shunned by the entire school and the pressure becomes so great that she reverts to her former self Susan and tries to conform to the high school “popular” social standards, though it makes her unhappy to do so. Her only shining beacon is the monologue contest that Susan/Stargirl enters in hopes that if she wins she might earn the school’s favor again. She shows an immense talent for it that she passes all of the rounds and even wins the State championship for it! But on the return home... the parking lot is empty, nobody, not a single student save for an unwilling Leo and another friend, and this breaks Stargirl’s/Susan’s heart. She tried so hard to fit in and yet... she still can’t. So... she disappears. Her friendly neighbors say she moved out back to where she first lived, and Leo feels devastated that the school, his classmates including himself, managed to push away such a vivacious and inspiring person, just because they’re different. This story really made me tear up when I read it the first time. Coming from a generally open public school, I couldn’t believe just how conservative and traditional this, albeit fictional, school was. Sure Stargirl was very eccentric compared to what I’ve known to be the norm, but should she be absolutely shunned for this? No, and what hurt me most is that despite this thought, I understood there probably were so many instances just like Stargirl’s in this nation, not to mention the world. Heck maybe there even were instances in my school and I just never really noticed, blissfully ignorant in my band-geek clique.  But despite these sad hopeless thoughts, Stargirl really changed me and how I looked out upon life. From then on I paid a little bit more attention towards my friends and tried to encourage them to do what they loved to do. I also fell in love with Stargirl’s character too, how vivacious and carefree she was, and I longed and aspired to become just like she was.  So in order to remember the book, how it has affected me, Stargirl’s persona, and have a uniquely badass username, I decided to take the book’s name as my username. What I didn’t expect is that the username was extremely popular, something to do with Stargirl being a popular luck-based Chinese legend/concept/tale, or so according to my brother, so I had to add a few numbers to the end of it in order to claim this username as my own, and the ones I chose were just numbers I considered lucky and my favorite. But claim it I did and the username has kind of... stuck with me through all these years. Of course the meaning occasionally did occasionally become lost throughout the years, but whenever I did really sit down, think, and truly remember the meaning behind the name, it all comes back to me and I feel proud for choosing this username for myself.

Aaaand yeah that’s the long winded reason of why I prefer the Stargirl username in everything. Anyhow if you have any questions,comments, or whatever about my username feel free to send me a question on the “Ask me Anything” page in the top left menu bar, and I will try to answer all of the them as best I can. Now I’m gonna go catch up some homework and try to catch some zzzzz’s as well. Night ya lovelies, and I’ll catch you all on the flip-blog side!

~ Distant-Stargirl out!

[distant-stargirl]

So I’ve really been inspired by the song “Immortal” by Mariana and the Diamonds. Something about its ethereal sound and its lyrics just really motivates and inspires me.

[minor-wizardries]

The best thing about wizardry is that there are trillions of different ways that a wizard can specialize. Maybe one wizard is great at talking to bodies of water, learning how they flow and change and stabilize. Another wizard listens to buildings as they tell their histories. No matter what you love, there is wizardry at the heart of it.

[distant-stargirl]

This is such a fascinating way of interpreting wizardry through a druid point-of- view, and I and I would love to see this expanded. Like, how do these wizard apply their knowledge to the real world? Would the water-speaking wizard become like an oceanographer because of their skills of speaking to the bodies of water or would they just eventually become skilled at manipulating it to their benefit? Or would they just keep the knowledge to themselves and simply find out what story the body of water has to tell? So many great ideas!!!

[distant-stargirl]

Photos of aesthetic analog clocks found around the world Please message, comment, or reblog if you...

Hey all! Stargirl here again!

So, I really like to take photos of aesthetically pleasing outdoor analog clocks that more of less stand out from the normal indoor/wall analog clocks found in most homes. I rather like this hobby and how unique it is, compared to all the other hobbies out there. Most of the clocks I come across are during my travels abroad, and I always try to take a photo of them and so that I can later view and enjoy them privately, or so it has been for the past couple of years. Aside from sharing most of them on my google plus account privately for my family to enjoy, that is. But I’ve always considered sharing them with a MUCH wider audience as well as create a platform to share them on. Well just under a week ago, I created a new secondary blog called Clocks Around This World (since Clocks around the World was sadly already taken) just for this purpose; to share my photos of interesting outdoor clocks with a bigger audience and hopefully create a platform where people can submit their own pictures of outdoor analog clocks.  So if you’re interested in clocks, clock faces, or aesthetically pleasing pictures, please consider following this page. I’ll be posting clocks tri-weekly on the page on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. AND I’ll be occasionally posting weekly summaries of the clocks here on Sundays with links leading to the original posts of the clocks. I already have three posts set to go up next week so PLEASE consider checking them out when you can and maybe even submit your own outdoor clocks and who knows, maybe you’ll even get to be featured on the blog!!! Thank you all for reading this, and I hope to see you all soon on the blog! Catch you all on the Clocks around This World side!

~Stargirl-out!

[7th-seraph]

what if every Tumblr user suddenly looses their mouse?

[bardofspades]

J = Next Post K = Previous Post L = Like N = View Notes Space = Show Photo Shift + R = Reblog Shift + E = Add to Queue Z + Tab = Switch Blogs

[itsblueandboxy]

[tyleroakley]

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

[starkstrider]

I just reblogged this with the command, shit

[enjolrasjosette]

Do you know how much this helps people who have trouble with the mouse? (Me, other disabled people) thank you

[distant-stargirl]

I honestly had no idea of these shortcuts but I might start sprinkling them throughout my internet sessions. Also please boost this for any of my followers who might be disabled and unable to use a mouse!

[distant-stargirl]

r/ProRevenge - The GREATEST Revenge Story of All Time

r/Prorevenge has my favorite Reddit story of ALL TIME. This evil genius systematically dismantles the person who wronged him and completely destroys their li...

So I recently stumbled upon this amazing YouTube channel called rSlash that does these amazing narrations of various subreddits. Whilst yes, this youtuber isn’t the source of these subreddit posts, I just really like how he makes the stories come alive through his engaging readings. Currently I’m seeing a lot of pro-revenge, choosing beggars, and privileged parents stories circulating on his account so if you’re a fan of , definitely go check out his up-and-coming channel!

Now about the stories, the first one in particular. If it’s a true story, and it just might since “life can be stranger than fiction sometimes”, then wowwww, did this guy really get back at his wife for cheating! I’m not entirely on board for this revenge story as I’m a bit frustrated that he didn’t try to let the wife know that he knew she was cheating, because as far as I’ve heard about relationships “communication is the key”. I mean rather than distancing himself from her as the guy did, it would probably be wayyy more effective to confront the wife about her “fling” before it gets any further and start working on understanding why the marriage isn’t working.  Yes it’s going to be a really difficult road and maybe the trust won’t ever come back, but at least you both tried rather than simply watching and giving up on this marriage. Not a relationship, a marriage. That has children hanging in the balance from it. And while yes, the way this guy absolutely annihilated his wife was practically an art unto its own, it was also a bit worrisome listening to how the wife begged for forgiveness from him, but since the husband made the choice of abandoning his love for her early on, there was no hope for her to get the relationship back.  I don’t know, maybe there’s another pieced to the puzzle that I’m missing but for now this prorevenge story is a bit too prorevenge for me. What do you guys think?

[distant-stargirl]

Blog update + My New Twitter account!

Hey all! Stargirl here.  So first off, I’ve recently been exploring and trying out the various social media platforms out there from Facebook Pages to Twitter to Linked-In thanks to a course I’ve been taking this semester. I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a steep learning curve for me to get to know these platforms, create profiles I’m happy and most of all comfortable with, and then create posts that fit in under those aliases. It’s been incredibly mentally exhausting and stressful to learn and keep up with all of this since I’m an insanely private person and want to keep my identity a secret (I blame my helicopter middle school scaring us with movies and real-life experiences, as well as my bad experience with malware a couple of years back - which you can read up on here - for making me this way). At the same time though, I’m really happy that I’m being a bit more active online as I feel it’ll help me break out of my personality shell and place myself “out there” a bit, as well as learn more about myself and show you guys what kind of person I am. So, long story short, as a part of “putting myself out there”, I recently created a Twitter page and I’m sharing it here for the first time ever:

https://twitter.com/midnight_starg8

I don’t really have many posts there yet but you can find and expect tweets of news/media and other things that interest me as well as my quick personal thoughts and updates. Fair warning, though I try my hardest, I don’t tweet on a daily basis so don’t expect my page to be very active most of the time. But still, if I haven’t scared you off by this point and if this sort of thing interests you, please feel free to follow me and I’ll be forever grateful if you do! Thank you so much!!!

Now, since my twitter account will be focused on mostly my personal interests and short thoughts, I’m letting you all know ahead of time that this page will become more focused on my passion for writing which isn’t that far off from what I’m posting nowadays. Of course I’m still going to be reblogging funny/cute posts that catch my attention as well as increasing the deeper personal posts, but just take note that these posts are going to become fewer and in-between with the writing posts taking presidence of this blog. Actually to give you all a more concrete example of how things are gonna change, as well as become much more active on this blog, I’ve created a tentative posting schedule for what and when I’m gonna post:

Tuesday at noon Reblogging inspirational posts that get the creative juices flowing/Important posts that need to be boosted along with an explanation 1x a week #Notable Noon, #Motivating Meridian

Monday, (Wednesday), Friday at sunset Reblogging short stories that catch my attention with an explanation/analysis why 2-3x a week #Sunset Storytime

Thursday at nighttime Cute/Funny posts that grab my attention 1x a week #Bizarre Bedtime 

Saturday at midnight My old hs poems, personal rambling about something specific 1x a week #midnight maladies , #midnight hs poems PLEASE NOTE THIS IS NOT A SET POSTING SCHEDULE as I’m probably going to forget to post on certain days especially now in the beginning and later on. I’d say this is more of a nice suggestion of what kinds of posts and on what days to expect them to be posted rather than a key to exactly when to expect my posts. I might create posts for ALL of those days, but I also may be short on time one week and maybe post just 1 or 2 of those days. So don’t expect much out of this schedule. This schedule will be set to take effect on Monday so keep an eye out for these types of posts starting then and please let me know if there is something else you’d like to add to the schedule, switch it around, etc etc. I practically live for these suggestions, so please don’t hesitate to let me know! And that’s pretty much it for now for important Tumblr updates. Keep an eye out on Sunday for one more special update about another social medium I’ve been trying to grow, I think it’s a pretty unique and quirky idea that I’ve been planning to create for quite a while.

But for now, I appreciate you all and I’ll catch you all on the flip-blog side! ~Stargirl-out!

[sandersstudies]

I love genuinely innocent “boys will be boys.” Just saw a guy come out of a frat house to poke a pair of jeans they’d left outside - they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed that, like twenty more boys came rushing out of the house going “YOOOOOOOOOO”

[rebelminds]

I heard grunting outside my window the other night and there were four boys struggling to push this giant snowball (like 7 foot diameter) down the sidewalk.

[snarling-through-our-smiles]

I once lost my keys at a frat house.

My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully-disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch.  Apparently I puked in the toilet before passing out.  I do not remember this part.

The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house.  I stood there, right in front of the front door.  This was a novel experience for me.  I’d never been at a frat house in broad daylight before.

A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing. 

“I lost my keys in here last night,” I called back.  “I was seeing if I could go in and look for them?”

He opened the door and gestured for me to come in.

“Go wherever you want.”

I’d never seen a frat house post-party before.  Wandering up the stairs and through the halls, I was surrounded by hungover and still-drunk frat boys stumbling around in their socks and sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light.  A few of them threw puzzled glances my way.  I’m sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination.

I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller-esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed.

“Do you like dog movies?” he asked, voice all mumbly from grogginess and also from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket.

I told him I did.

He mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing.  I told him I was looking for my keys.

“Sorry, I haven’t seen any keys around here.”

I didn’t doubt him.

Twenty minutes had passed.  I’d searched just about every bedroom and nuclear-waste-dump-site of a bathroom in that house.  I’d given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommates’ forgiveness and get a new set copied.

As I stood there in the hallway, silently bewailing my predicament, a particularly-burly frat boy approached me.

“You need help with something?”

“I lost my keys here last night and I can’t find them, I’ve looked everywhere.”

“What do they look like?  I’ll put it into the group chat.”  He was already pulling out his phone.

No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell.  It was worth a shot.  “Um, it’s just a ring of keys.  The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big.  Like bright pink, you can’t miss it.”

He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat.

“Alright, I sent the message out.  Good luck.”

And with that, he turned and left.

A few moments later, I heard a distant thundering.  It was coming from upstairs, and it was getting louder and louder.  One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde of large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me.

“Someone tell the girl!” One of them shouted, faceless in the mob.  “Girl!  Hey, GIRL!!!  We found your keys, girl!!!”

They circled around me.  I hadn’t felt that small since I was maybe eleven years old.  One of them split himself off from the crowd.

“Are these -” he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, “your keys?”

And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring.

“Yes,” I whispered.  “Oh my god, yes.”

“EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!”

The cheer went up.

Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs.  I thanked them again profusely.  There was a scattered round of “no problems” and then, just as suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night.

[distant-stargirl]

This story is amazingly written, and had me hooked on it the whole way through! I love how it shows what a Frat house looks like to the outsider, but are sometimes much more than what they’re thought of to be, though in some ways they still are. Bless this story!

[distant-stargirl]

Itinerary to Hell take 2!

Hey all! I am back, and I return with the promised second take of my Itinerary to Hell poem. For those of you unfamiliar with this poem just click above on the poem’s title and you should be transported to the post where I talked more in depth about this old high school poem, my inspirations behind it, and what it reminds me of today. I also mentioned that I would post a reworked version of it, which I incidentally wrote while I wrote that blog post, and honestly I really like how it sounds! Also keep reading after the poem to see what I changed, why I changed it, and why I chose this ending. Now enough chatter:

Itinerary to Hell

ver. 2

Dark pitch shadows cloud the entrance I tremble as they do It is the portal Death’s Domain the real deal slaps me no jokes, no laughter only looming dread pressing tighter and tighter andtighter andtighterandtighter It’s waiting for me The Single Mortal Sophistry Looking To Change Its Hist’ry For Better, For Worse; a mystery the portal yawns I must go through spirits, darkness, scorn they are My Destiny A breath First one, then two And step into Death

I honestly didn’t have a story or plot behind this poem, just the idea of “I want to write about death in a symbolic way” and I had wayyy too many ideas swirling in my head about it so I took a pencil and paper, opened up my mind, let my ideas and impressions run through my hand, and boom! I had a poem written. Once again looking back at it, I realize it might’ve been a bit too on the nose and a lot more of a short synopsis, a characteristic of most of my poems (I’m a story-writer if anything, not a poet). So with this new version of it I tried to add a bit more textural feeling to it through the format changes which, as you may notice later on, I really like to play around with. First off I did add a bit more lines to the “pressing tighter” theme because I like how the format simulates and symbolizes the dread/shock just slowly beginning to hit main character as they realize what they’re dealing with. Next, I did add a few more lines to the “The Single Mortal Sophistry/Looking to Change Hist’ry/For Better/For Worse” bit because I wanted to make fun of all those young adult adventure novels for having the heroic main character that is usually “Very Weak But Still Forced To Fight Society And They Somehow Win In The End” when in real life who knows what what will happen. I really tried to replicate that with lower-casing the next line “a mystery” but I don’t think I did a good job as it does rhyme with the previous epic-like main lines. But rather than to mock their destiny, I’d like to think that the main character is repeating those epic words just to bolster themselves up reminding that they have a mission/destiny to complete, just like in all those adventures. What those adventure stories fail to mention though is how terrifying it is to face those challenges and finally go through with them. And lastly, just from a artistic perspective, I like to think the last word is spoken in a low solemn growl, like a piano note played at the end of a slow yet intricate orchestral piece. It’s just so final, yet I still would like to think it’s open-ended because it’s up to the reader to decide whether the main character died at that moment or whether it’s just a next step, a new “Domain” to conquer. I guess that’s what really draws me to write my own poems, as terrible as most of them are, as poems are so open-ended and short and filled with emotions, unlike stories where you have to have a clear start and finish. Poems are more ambiguous letting you start off and end wherever you want to, ignore sentence and grammar structure, and instead hyper focus on your theme and purpose your want to depict through it. But once again, I do realize despite my attaction to all of this most of my poems still end up sounding really short story-like. What can I do? I am a short story writer at heart!

Well that does it for this weeks reflection and personal poem analysis! Thank you so much for reading this huge poem analysis, it always makes my day if even ONE person reads these and reblogs it, means my poems and explanations behind them are at least entertaining someone! Keep an eye out next week for another old high school poem post and maybe a few other special posts here and there as well!  And as always, I’ll catch you on the flip-blog side!

~Stargirl-out!

[writing-prompt-s]

after dying god informs you that hell is a myth, and “everyone sins, its ok”. instead the dead are sorted into six “houses of heaven” based on the sins they chose.

[wpsstories]

We arrived first at the House of Lust. “House” is a misleading term. It was more of a camp, spread over acres and acres of lush forest. There was a white sandy beach (nude, of course) full of copulating couples. There were little cabins sprinkled all along the path, from which orgasmic moans regularly came belting out. Men with six pack abs and women with perky breasts strolled by without even noticing me and God. They only had eyes for each other, tickling and pinching each other with flirtatious giggles.

“What do you think?” God asked as we passed a nineteen-way taking place in a pool of champagne. Little cherubs flitted overhead armed with mops and cleaning supplies, thankfully. “Lust is our most popular sin.” I eyed the supermodel-like figures of a couple passing nearby, and could easily see why. “You can look however you want. Hell, you can be whatever gender you want. No fetish is too taboo, and no desire can be denied here.”

It was quite tempting, but I wasn’t ready to make a permanent decision here. “Let’s see the others,” I told God.

We carried on to Greed. We passed rows and rows of mansions, each more opulent than the next. Some of them were so large that they would have had enough bed rooms to fit my entire hometown. And so many different styles: one second, we were in a beautiful French vineyard in front of a gorgeous chateau with the Alps in the background. The next second, a warm tropical beach with a modern mansion atop breathtaking cliffs. After that, a ski chalet in Colorado with a roaring fire in a hearth large enough to fit an ox. Each one had various Italian sports cars and Rolls Royces parked in front, with the occasional smattering of boats, helicopters, etc.

“Any material desire you ever wanted,” God explained. “Your own world, where you can have everything. You want the Hope Diamond? You can fly to Washington DC in your own solid gold helicopter and buy it from the Smithsonian. Hell, you can just buy the Smithsonian.”

Also tempting, but I decided to keep looking.

Gluttony was next up. Tables and tables of the very finest foods: beautiful steaks cooked medium rare; butter-poached lobster tail; fresh oysters on a half shell; exotic wines in dusty bottles that had been hiding in the cellars of the world’s finest restaurants. Everyone had a glass of champagne in hand and simply lounged on couches and chairs near the tables, eating endlessly. As soon as the inhabitants took a bite, the food just instantly came back. My mouth watered even watching them.

“In every other House, the food is practically sawdust compared to Gluttony,” God explained. “You haven’t truly experienced heaven until you’ve been to Gluttony.”

I shook my head, and we kept moving.

Sloth was as you’d expect. An endless sea of the softest mattresses, stacked with cushions and pillows that made the story of the princess and the pea seem minimalist. Little angels visited each resident, giving them massages that made them all melt into their blankets.

Wrath was… well, a lot like what I’d expect Hell to be like. Fire, brimstone, whips, torture.. you know, the works. Except here, you weren’t the one being tortured. Every enemy you’d ever made in your real life was now under your thumb. “Lots of people choose their fathers,” God explained. “Lots of grudges against parents in general, you know. But you’re not limited to that. Someone beat you out for a big promotion back on Earth? Take your pound of flesh here.”

Then we arrived at Envy. It looked… well, a lot like home.

“Go on in,” God said, gesturing toward the door. I turned the knob and walked in… and found Emily waiting inside. She ran forward, wrapped her arms around my neck, and planted a kiss right on my lips. “Welcome home, honey.”

I looked back toward God. “Oh, don’t be coy,” he said. “You have no secrets from me. We all know that you were in love with your best friend’s wife.” She didn’t seem to hear him at all; she went back into the hall. “We all know that you just settled for your own wife while secretly pining after her. Well, this is your chance to live happily ever after.”

I peered into the kitchen. Emily was baking something, wearing nothing but an apron. Her curly black hair fell softly over her shoulder as she whisked ingredients. She turned back, noticed I was observing her, and an enthusiastic smile spread across her face.

“It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?” God whispered in my ear.

I wanted to take it. God damn did I want to take it. But I shook my head.

God seemed puzzled. “You need to make a decision,” he told me.

“I haven’t seen Pride yet.”

He scoffed. “No one ever wants Pride, trust me.”

“Well, I want to see it.”

_________________________

Pride was boring. Just a row of workbenches in a bare white room.

“I don’t get it,” I told God.

“Yeah, no one does,” he answered. “That’s why no one ever chooses it. Doesn’t cavorting in Lust sound better than sitting here building little trinkets for the rest of eternity? Wouldn’t you rather gorge yourself in Gluttony? Or spend time with Emily in Envy?”

I considered the options again. “I pick Pride,” I finally told him.

He narrowed his eyes. “What? Look at it!” He gestured around the room again. There wasn’t much to look at. “Why would you choose this for the rest of time?”

“Because you don’t want me to pick it,” I told him. If he was really God, he’d know what a contrarian I can be. And I knew he was hiding something, trying to pretend like Pride didn’t exist. There was something special about it.

God scowled back. “Fine.” He led me over to one of the workbenches. In the center, there was a black space. A blank, empty void that went on forever. “Here’s your universe,” he said. “You’ve got seven days to get started.” He took his seat at the bench next to me and went back to tinkering in his own world. After a long pause, he finally spoke again: “You know, it might be nice for me to actually have some company for once.”

[feral-flower-child]

FUCKING I MEAN.

IT’S LIKE 7AM AND I LOVE GONNA REBLOG SO I CAN READ THIS SHIT AGAIN

[one-in-lemillion]

This is fucking brilliant

[distant-stargirl]

This is absolutely brilliant and I want to see this made into a full on novel, because this just barely scratches the surface of it leaving more questions than answers. Who is the narrator, what did he do during his life to end up in Hell, what’s the story behind the narrator, what kind of universe will the narrator end up making, why is God in charge of Hell or is it really God the narrator is referring to, do the different dimensions end up overlapping each other, and so SO much more!  Heck, since I’m so invested in this story, maybe I’ll even end up expanding on this idea to see where it leads me. If so you can definitely look forward to seeing it reblogged here! 

[distant-stargirl]

Itinerary to Hell

Sooooo... it’s 3 in the morning and I’ve lost track of how many redbulls I’ve already consumed (it’s actually 2), so it seems like the perfect time to post that poem I keep putting off these past few days! 8D But truly, my deepest apologies for not posting these sooner, it’s not the easiest for me to let go of these poems as they show an integral part and my inner most thoughts of who I am now and was approximately six or seven years ago. But as the saying goes “no better time to start than now” and I’d share them sooner or later anyhow so here goes nothing:

Dark dark shadows cloud the entrance I tremble as they do It is the portal to death’s domain the real, real deal no jokes no laughter only darkness clouding tighter and tighter The family’s down there  waiting for me a single mortal teen that could change history for better or for worse I had opened the portal so I must go in into the world of spirits, darkness, fear it is destined for me to enter the world of Death

Morbid, huh? Yeah what I wrote didn’t really agree with the more-or-less happy-go-lucky teen that I was on the outside. It’s a shame I never dated this poem, as I dated the other poems before and after this one but if I would approximate I’d say it was written sometime back in 2012, just shy of six years ago. I’d say it’s one of my later foray’s into the idea of “death” and what comes after it, since it’s not as graphic as some of my first death poems are and delves more into the emotional and “hero is destined to fight evil to try and save the day” trope. It seems that after those initial poems I wanted to explore the emotional side of death and what it would look like physically, visually, and emotionally. And heck, I was kind of tired with all of my main characters dying at the end so I wanted to add a bit of hopeful heroism but with the same looming aspect of doom and failure. All in all, I was a curious morbid bean and I wanted to explore and try out something new.  And I don’t know if I was inspired by this, but as I reread it now, it really reminds me right now of the time Disney’s Hercules made the deal with Hades and went to save Meg from the Underworld. Just putting that out there. You’re welcome for the imagery.  Anyhow, please comment or message me with any constructive critiques or feedback about this poem, as I appreciate any and all responses I get about my works though they always are a big blow to my proud ego (goodness knows it can suffer to be taken down a peg or two). Also I did write a revised version to this original, which I feel like mixes both the original poem/meaning, and what I added now to enhance it now using the new poetry skills I learned in the years after. I’ll post it a day after this original along with an explanation of what and why I changed, so y’all have time to read the original and comment/critique it.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this lengthy discourse, it really means so much to me that y’all are purposefully taking the time to read what I have to say! As always I’ll catch you on the flip blog side!

~Stargirl-out

[distant-stargirl]

Digging up my old High School self

Hey Stargirl here! As per my previous update post, I want to start this blog off with a personal bang by announcing that within the next couple of days I’ll be sharing some of my old poems, with a short discourse of what my thoughts were going into each poem. But first a brief overview of what to expect from these poems. 

Recently my family placed my childhood home for sale, so we’ve all been really busy wading, sorting, and packing up all of our old memorabilia. On one such day, I was going through my old creative stuff, when I stumbled upon an old journal I had with all of my high school-era poems. I can’t even begin to say how quickly the old memories of being bored in my freshman study hall rolled on in just from reading the first few poems, followed by an immense amount of cringe of how awfully one-dimensional these. Even reading them now I can’t help but wince at how creatively bland, unfeeling, and depressing most of them were, especially with my obsession with death and the cold. But then again, I was a bored yet morbidly curious teen back then exploring these little-talked about topics and seeing how far I could push my writing to explore them. These poems were just a simple and easy way for me to express myself and vent all of my pent up teenage “angst”. But among these cringey ones I found a few gems that either sound good or have deep meanings to them, at least in my opinion. They might not be the best sounding ones, nor are they immensely profound, but when I read them I had a feeling that there was something deep hidden in those poems, something that I wanted to share and maybe even discuss with all of you.

So yes, I’ll be selecting and posting those decent poems with a brief overview of my inspiration for writing them was over the next few weeks/days either so be on the look-out for them soon; the first one should be going out either today or tomorrow. But for now, I’m gonna catch up on some sleep as I’ve caught a mild cold that’s making me feel insanely tired. Catch you all on the flip blog side!

~Stargirl-out

P.S: If you want to follow and find all of these bad High School poem posts, just search for the #nighttime hs poems tag and you should find all of them. For a more detailed look search the tag #nighttime unfixed poems for the original High school poems and #nighttime unfixed poems for the High School poems I’ve revised. And if you’re looking for a specific poem in mind, just search the poems name as the hashtag. 

[distant-stargirl]

My fated return + Update on what has transpired and what is to come

Hello everyone who somehow still pays attention to this blog despite my weird periods of absence, Stargirl here! Thank you so much for still staying with this blog despite it being inactive for long periods of time, and I understand it’s not the most interesting blog to continue following. The reason why there was a long hiatus after my last post in December is that I’ve had a semi-close death in my family which really shook my family to the core as the person who passed away was our main financial benefactor. Truly, no one expected this death, but thanks to my family’s strong friend support system we were still able to make ends meet through our grief and planning proper funeral services. But that wasn’t all, life had even more struggles in store for me as my ex and I hit a really rough patch in our relationship which ended up with him leaving me very abruptly around the same time. So not only was I grieving I also had to deal with a sudden heartbreak as well. And with all of these negative events clouding my mental health and throwing myself into my job to plan for my future, keeping up with this blog was honestly the last thing on my mind. please note that this is as much information as I will be revealing at this time about the reasoning behind my hiatus, and I would greatly appreciate if y’all would respect my   BUT, I am now back for good this time (or at least until beginning of June), as my time away really helped me gain a new, harsher yet motivated perspective on life with how I would be stuck in the same position in my whole life if I didn’t plan and act on my future. And act on it I did by taking baby steps to register myself for  education this year again, getting a new better paying job, and much much more.

Therefore, with this new and improved attitude I’m ready to tackle my inactive Tumblr page head on and even start posting once a week. Don’t worry the things I’ll still be posting/reblogging should stay the same as long as I find them interesting, funny, and useful. My handle “A-musing Stargirl” isn’t called that for nothing! Just be aware 

And the new once a week posting brings me to a new topic of finding out what you’d like me to review. Whilst I do have several things I could share during my year-long hiatus, I’d still would appreciate any suggestions for: YA fantasy novels would you recommend me to read and review? Are there any comics or manga’s you would recommend? Any interesting facts, youtube videos, etc.. you would recommend for me? And so forth.

Thank you so much for staying with me and I’ll see you on the flip blog side!

[distant-stargirl]

So I’ve been laughing for years at the clever WiFi names there are in my apartment complex. Personally the “Loading…” is my favorite.

[animals-lovers]

[distant-stargirl]

Happy winter vibes to everyone and have some cute snowy puppers while you’re at it!

[distant-stargirl]

So I’ve been crazy obsessed with this uniquely mysterious comic about a woman “Miss So” who is one of the rare people that has seen ghosts for her whole entire life. Her coping mechanism with it though, has been to avoid them at any cost due to a traumatic experience in her childhood. Unfortunately she rashly rents an apartment to live in by herself where a ghost of a guy resides after having passed away several years prior, and now has to cope and live with him until the end of the year when she leaves to study abroad. The art-style and storytelling is incredibly different from most manhwa’s, as it heavily relies on conveying the atmosphere through silence (or as Miyazaki calls it “ma”, the spiritual/emotional fullness of a situation), and character development through this atmosphere as well as flashbacks. It’s not like I dislike this style, but it is really hard to interpret at times what emotion and internal development is happening within the characters. But even so, this manhwa just has a way to have these silences drag out the agonizing romantic plot and have the reader fall deeper and deeper into the close psychological and emotional character study of these characters. I highly recommend this comic to those who love the paranormal as the facts behind this one sound incredibly realistic, but who also love slow and deep character studies with a painfully slow developing romantic side. But heck don’t be intimidated by my recommendations; if you want to try this manhwa, go for it, don’t let my review stop you. I really hope you’ll enjoy this comic as much as I am currently, and happy reading!