Moonshine @distilledinternets - Tumblr Blog

Dreams of a better world.

I can't believe home depot literally produced a wildly successful science fiction musical and we all just pretend it didn't happen. on one hand yes it had a boring white guy main character but like.... home depot just... Made it? And it had shit ton of box office sales? and no one even talks about this. this is like avatar (2009) all over again

indigobuntings

OK so. After a lot of frantic googling I realized this was all a dream. home depot did not in fact produce a wildly successful science fiction musical. I was on allergy meds and took a nap and my brain simply prophesized this. slightly disappointed because I wanted to watch it.

krchov

(by @galwednesday)

charminglyantiquated

a short comic about witches and wishes and wanting things.

(all my comics are here!)

veritystars

Beautiful story! I also love the color composition! ❤️💙

meantfortheshore

moremetalthanyourmom

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

youcangofindatree-deactivated20

Gotta try it

clevermanka

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

emmagrant01

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

mercurialkitty

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

songbirde108

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

onethingconstant

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

naeonnoir

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

retroasgardian-deactivated20180

spiduhgirl

It’s called the Murder Strut.

elegantmess100

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

b3gayd0crim3

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

linkedsoul

One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him.

It works wonders.

noping-out-deactivated20241117

In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them.

If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm.

chasing-asterion

seperis

Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how.

Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you.

Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds.

taraljc

I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT

marithlizard

Patriarchy Chicken and The Murder Strut, dance names for the new millenium.

jomjjeoro

hey guys. this is my invention. check it out

bastionkeeper

listen no matter how depressed I am whenever this post shows up on my dash I fucking lose it I just laugh so hard, it’s such a good post. The way it’s presented? Soap on a sink nozzle, okay clearly this is some sort of handwashing appliance. Then there’s just water going everywhere no further explanation it’s so good I’m so happy

natalieironside

It's fascinating (and infuriating) to live in an age where almost everyone I know is languishing in Dickensian poverty but social media is slap full of professional-managerial computer-touchers who've never known hunger insisting that the economy is fine because their metrics say rich people are still rich.

natalieironside

A bad economist and a bad engineer are often bad in the same way; they're both people who, when reality doesn't conform to the model, decide to get mad at reality instead of adjusting the model

teaboot

And they kill people

hong-kong-phooey11

marauders4evr

It occurs to me that there are people who weren’t on this website in 2012 and therefore never saw the magical gif that you can actually hear:

It’s been over five years and that still impresses the hell out of me.

rosetintmyworld84

Eldritch Horror Jolene Masterpost

This incredible reinterpretation of Jolene has become one of my favorite things. I have stitched together a master version of the song from the posts here, here, and here. Jolene, Jolene , Jolene, Jolene; I’m begging of you please don’t take my man. Jolene, Jolene , Jolene, Jolene; Please don’t take him just because you can.

Your beauty is beyond compare With flaming locks of auburn hair With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

For years our town’s been terrorized By the beast who takes disguise In the shell that calls itself Jolene

Our sleep disturbed by quaking breath Eyes closed against the threat of death That lies behind the teeth of that Jolene

The closer that you get to her The more those edges seem to blur To something that cannot be called Jolene

Jolene, Jolene , Jolene, Jolene; I’m begging of you please don’t take my man. Jolene, Jolene , Jolene, Jolene; Please don’t take him just because you can.

He screams about you in his sleep, And when he wakes does naught but weep, In terror of the one they call, Jolene.

We cower here beneath your gaze, That sets the earth and sky ablaze, Have mercy at the end of days, Jolene.

Before her wrath no foe could stand, Their corpses piled upon the sand, The blood of gods are on her hands; Jolene.

Her hunger barely satisfied, She feasted on the ones who died, She slumbers now in starless skies; Jolene.

Jolene, Jolene , Jolene, Jolene; I’m begging of you, please don’t disturb her sleep. Jolene, Jolene , Jolene, Jolene; We’re safe while she still slumbers in the deep.

Your teeth are sharp, your mouth agape Your claws rend flesh, there’s no escape From judgement of the Eldritch One, Jolene

Blackening the summer skies, With burning wings and countless eyes, We tremble at the thought of you, Jolene.

Bliss withered from this awful truth, Gone is the ignorance of youth, The unrelenting mark of that Jolene.

Jolene, Jolene , Jolene, Jolene; I’m begging of you please don’t take my man. Jolene, Jolene , Jolene, Jolene; Please don’t take him just because you can.

The foolish who came to defend, Their broken minds will never mend, They fell at the mere sight of you, Jolene.

But I’ve seen beyond that auburn hair My eyes have met your vacant stare And I’ve been told I’m hard to scare, Jolene

Jolene, Jolene , Jolene, Jolene; I’m begging of you please don’t take my man Jolene, Jolene , Jolene, Jolene; I’ll end this story just how it began I’ll take your teeth if you try to take my man

dqnquality

vincent2845

playlander

sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

headspace-hotel

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

headspace-hotel

I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.

This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.

As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.

Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:

Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.

There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.

And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”

The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.

This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.

From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.

agent-octopus

Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something

headspace-hotel

there's art now

jetlaggingbehind

questions-within-questions

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

normal-horoscopes

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

stargazing-enby

This is my new favourite post in the world

astronomical-bagel

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

trekkiesagainstchastity

And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

longzone222

Visit Original Link

worldheritageposts-official

World Heritage Post

thetetra

I managed to listen to exactly 3 seconds of this before I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe.

theweirdwideweb

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

vigilantsycamore

eeby deeby... i haven't heard that name in years...

mememuseumofhistory

sinclairmaxwellao3

Hello! So I made some name signs for when I'm signing with other ASL users and decided to share for your viewing pleasure. Obviously this isn't every character. We would be here all day, if that were the case but I may do a Part 2 at some point in the future. Enjoy!

depsidase

cyborbs-deactivated20231020

best thing tumblr ever did for me is the term "rotating it in my mind". it's really true that sometimes you think about something real hard but you can't tell what the thoughts are exactly. it's revolutionary stuff, i might even say