sixpencee got less hate for straight-up admitting to owning a child slave than I do for saying children shouldn't be treated as property
like i'll say "parents should not be able to unilaterally override their child's consent" and some dipshit will see the word consent and the smoke from the hollowed-out crater that used to be their critical thinking skills will immediately coalesce into a message in my ask box calling me a pedo. no fucking hope for any of you
which I say, by the way, because one of my closest friends was able to be effectively disappeared off the face of the earth and sent into the woods to be sexually abused and tortured into being straight due to parents effectively owning their children as property. if you are a minor your consent simply does not actually matter - whether you get vaccinated, whether you get to go to school, whether people get to hug touch you, what you wear, how your hair is cut, what your hobbies are, whether you get to have friends, and yes, whether you want to be sent to a torture camp in the woods or not - your consent is entirely meaningless because your parents can simply override it, and there's fuckall you can do about it, because you aren't a person, you're just property. the family dog has more protections against being abused than children do
but! if you ever point this out you get called you a rapist
This is a complicated post for me, because as a parent of a young child (two year old afab) there are some things I cannot, for her own safety, allow her to refuse consent for.
(I recognize this is not exactly your point but stay with me, we’ll get there.)
Right now, at two, everything is “Scary!” Including things like going through the well-lit house that contains nothing but our belongings, her toys, her papa (who she adores) and me (her mother). She does not want to walk across the house on her own. Turning off the overhead light (room still well lit by other lights) is scary. A dead bug on the window sill is scary. Everything including things she enjoys (baths) are scary and she doesn’t want to do or be around or interact with any of it. Some of these things are things that she must do or interact with.
In addition to this, there are things she does not like or does not want to happen to her person. She doesn’t not like having her diaper changed (but is not yet potty trained). Obviously, this must happen for her own hygiene and safety. Given her choice, she would live on juice, gummy worms, and whoppers. As her parent, I cannot allow this. She would never brush her own teeth and does not enjoy having her teeth brushed. Still, they must be brushed.
here’s where I get to your point. As I see it, you’ve listed things that fall into very different but important categories. The first is things that responsible parents must insist on for safety and wellbeing (vaccination, education, to an extent who you get to include in your social circle, to an extent what your wardrobe includes) and things that the child, as a human who should have rights, absolutely SHOULD have right of refusal over. (Who can touch them, what they wear (with caviats) who they’re friends with (with caviats).
children will do things like refuse vaccines because they’re afraid of needles and have no understanding of the concept of tetanus, which is common in dirt, and often lethal to children under ten. My child will and has already been, exposed to tetanus because she’s a toddler and loves dirt. She also hates getting stabbed with a needle. I don’t blame her for this, but also, tetanus.
children will also refuse to go to school. Many do not enjoy school (for valid reasons!) but being able to read, write, and do basic math are things many parents are not equipped to teach, but which are critical for life as an adult in the modern world. Some reasoning skills and a basic understanding of science are good too, but most parents are even less equipped to teach those. So school cannot be optional and a child’s consent unfortunately, must be overruled in this case as well.
the friends issue is a hard one and is a frequent source of disagreement, but here’s the problem. Children often don’t have the context to see when a friendship isn’t healthy. There are friendships I’ve already ended for my daughter because the other child (who she likes) tends to hit and kick her, and grabs toys out of her hands. My daughter is two. She doesn’t understand that this is not a good friend to have, and cannot defend herself from this. The issue gets more complicated for a teenager, but if I saw that she had a friend who was encouraging her to sneak out, or indulge in underage drinking, or illicit substances, I would end the friendship. She might like that person, but that is not someone I’m going to let her be around, for her own safety. Will it override her consent? Yes. Is it still the actions of a responsible parent whose duty to my daughter is to keep her alive and as safe as I can manage? Also yes.
here’s the hard part. You’re right about children’s consent about being allowed to refuse touch, refuse trips with people they don’t like, or decide what they wear (with the understanding that I’ve seen (fellow at the time) teenagers go on a hike and get hypothermia because they didn’t want to wear a coat. Their parents should have insisted, and didn’t, and it put them in danger.).
TL:DR you’re right. Children and teenagers should have a lot more personal consent and autonomy than they do, but a responsible parent does also have to insist on healthy life choices that their child might not make on their own. Some people abuse this.
