Things Mattys Like

you thought this was a porn blog, didn't you?

[animentality]

[drcockasaurus]

“You’re taking it out of context”, In what context do they sound good?

[drcockasaurus]

Dude tumblr is a lawless land these days. You took out porn away and we got piiiised. Anarchy. Fuck Maggie thatcher. Fuck brexit. This is a lawless waste and we just want our tissues back.

[valtsv]

the funniest character headcanons are feral, homophobic and tax evader i dont accept constructive criticism and you cant change my mind

[shaggytwodope-deactivated202104]

hates the irish, fucks to survive, war criminal

[regbian-moved-to-lezbianz]

alignment chart

[wrexingdrew]

[spar-kie]

[identificat]

[ironpour]

[thebroccoligoblin]

What sort of comedy is this because it describes me best

[pussylipgloss]

uptown funk made me sexually attracted to bruno mars…….

[woodmeat]

stop!!!

[woodmeat]

wait a minute

[woodmeat]

fill my butt put some liquor in it!

[la-laborista-republiko]

[ithelpstodream]

[curlicuecal]

This actually made me feel really good about my day because I somehow managed 80 points?

a fuckin. professional.

[tabstop-2]

@pleaseperidont  @cuddlyplaguedoctor

[cuddlyplaguedoctor]

I really like this.

[ottomantwerks]

Better get your kids vaccinated so they don't catch

these hands

[ottomantwerks]

Stop fucking reblogging this

[halfstable-deactivated20190928]

[t0tsu-deactivated20201126]

This is soo bad its good

[creekfiend]

Thank fucking god for plumbers who are willing to go behind their corporate bosses’ backs and be like “yeah don’t pay the 150 dollar emergency fee just gimme 40 bucks under the table, also, don’t buy a water heater from us, my boss will charge u like 800 bucks. go to Lowe’s and ask for a Scratch n’ Dent, they’ll give you for like 200 bucks. Call me tomorrow and I can install it for you in like an hour” wow… solidarity

[creekfiend]

I cannot express how much I would rather slip one workperson 40 bucks directly into their pocket for doing me a solid by not making me get ripped off by his bosses, like…….. thanks bro

[brainbubblegum]

[anonymoustypewriter]

You know i just reblogged this but im reblogging again to say i keep looking at baby jesus with the lighter and cackling madly because i love this so much

[radioactivepeasant]

this makes me laugh every year

[onlytwitterpics]

[germanshitposting]

[randomitemdrop]

Item: can of German party soup

[szuddenly]

you think you want me to shut up? i have to listen to myself even when im not talking

[tooiconic]

wow this is a fucking mood

[only1600kids]

It’s Not Unusual

[stand-up-gifs]

Baron Vaughn (x)

[smosh]

I’ve never seen such an appropriate font change in a gif set.

[statsdead-deactivated20200602]

[mooglemain]