the fandom life is crushing me

[nooneaskedbut]

Thinking about the way that the Reggie’s abuse effected all of the Umbrellas. The way they grew into man-children with poor coping skills, undeveloped social skills, and completely unbalanced lifestyles. The way they all pretty much regressed into washed up child stars, escaped into coping mechanisms or repressed entirely. Vapid, depressed, petty and suspended in their shortcomings. The Hargreeves are adolescents.

All of them except Five.

According to Luther, even in their childhood Five “always thought he was better” than the others. If you ask me, it’s because of his self awareness. He was never looking for parental validation, or a normal childhood, he understood what he was to Reggie and seemingly accepted it. This is arguably how he was able to have a closer relationship with the shunned and exiled Vanya, as he understood the structure of power his father had created and was able to defy it without manipulation. This is also arguably why he and Reggie seemed to clash so much. His acceptance and cooperation wasn’t the same as Luther’s blind loyalty afterall. His self awareness made him hard to control. He was prideful, and independent. But then, one thing led to another, and he sustained the biggest humbling possibly imaginable.

One tiny fuck up, one little mistake, and he was forced to grow up. Fast. Exponentially fast. He buckled under the pressure of his new horribly fucked up life, and aged literally and figuratively well beyond his years. For better and for much much worse, he seized control over his life and survival. There were no shortcuts, only painstaking work and persistence, for decades. He is the adult. Only to finally, after an unspeakably long and painful journey, make it back to his siblings to save them from themselves.

And what does he get?

He ends up a fucking man child.

[bruisepoking-archive]

the comments on this tiktok… the unity… the commitment to the bit…. women are so sexy

[1617]

yeah i’m shy but i’m not “☺️ 🥺” shy i’m “😐🧍” shy

[92m]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[the-real-skeletor]

Cant wait

[shyce-overgod]

Do I have to get my own or is it provided?

[the-real-skeletor]

Government subsidised

[d-stabilize]

Every shitty live action Netflix adaption looks like this but worse

[heardbook]

That’s giving them too much credit they don’t put red heads in

[villaincousland]

(y/n), (y/n), (y/n), (y/n)

I'm begging of you please don't take my man

[it-burns-when-i-pee]

Your beauty is beyond compare

with flaming locks of (h/c) hair

With (s/c) skin and eyes of (e/c)

[kata4a]

out: naming girls after virtues

in: naming them after vices

[official-kircheis]

avarice, insolence, decadence, lunacy, vanity, conceit, hysteria, envy, malice, rage would be good goth girl names

[moobloom-mooshroom]

Bad and Skeppy do what dream and George cannot, and that’s openly communicate their feelings of jealously and admit that they strive to be each other’s center of attention constantly. Rip to pissbaby and the unseasoned chicken but they are simply built different.

[gwyoi]

So do seahorses read fpreg.

[dabidagoose]

[billclintonsbeemilk]

Pedophiles don’t belong in the LGBT community. Go die in a fire. You are not welcome.

[beyondbeerus]

Actually we do because lgbt is about celebrating the weird/taboo so yeah

[modernwolfman-deactivated201811]

nope. nope. no it’s not. that’s incredible homophobic/transphobic. you don’t belong in the lgbt community.

[cuteiemonster]

Please unfollow me if you believe pedophilia counts as a group in the LGBT+ community

actually, if you’re a pedophile please unfollow me. I don’t want that shit any where near me

[assiraphales]

guys its a wonderful life was literally such an anticapitalist masterpiece that the FBI claimed it was communist propaganda and under investigation they found the movie “deliberately maligned the upper class, attempting to show the people who had money were mean and despicable characters.“ 

[assiraphales]

in one scene the main character george bailey is vouching for someone trying to buy a house outside the slums & the antagonist mr potter is like “u need to stop filling their heads with impossible ideas, the working class needs to be thrifty” (all while hoarding an insane amount of wealth) and george slams him w this 

he really said the rich view the working class as cattle and that bitch was right!!!!! say It louder!!!!!

[ursulaklegun-deactivated2024122]

I keep telling kids at work they can read manga and watch anime for free online and they’re like “but that’s illegal” and I’m like. Trying to find a way to tell them that it doesn’t matter without being a bad influence

[ursulaklegun-deactivated2024122]

When I was in middle school we watched anime episodes in three part videos on YouTube and no one gave a damn about the law

[patrochilles-or-bust]

The three parters 😭 age me why don't you

[sailormoonsub]

this is so awkward because Pestilence seems to have come back out of retirement this year so now there is FIVE Horsemen and only FOUR Horses

[lilkittay]

The fifth horse has been LOOSE IN A HOSPITAL for the last 4 years.

Soon to fixed.

[aceoftigers]

The entire history of the world, religion, politics, and pop culture came together to make this joke possible.

[shipping-horror]

@actualkeigotakami @maya-tl

[calder]

vegans make peace with honey

no shut up do it

[calder]

vegans will pretend not to hear when natives tell them their agave products are unsustainable because they have whimsical feelings about, and i cannot stress this enough, the freedom of hive insects

[blackwashedmax]

Honey is literally murder but go off

[kasaron]

Prove it.

[blackwashedmax]

They literally puke their guts up to make your honey

[kasaron]

I have not seen any evidence tonsugges they are harmed or die in the process of production. They do regurgitate the nectar as part of the process to concentrate it into honey (an interesting process) but they do not suffer any injury during this process. If they did, the cost to produce honey, which is done naturally as a measure to survive over winter and through times of lower availability, would outweigh the benefits. If you kill several bees to produce enough honey to make one more bee, It makes no sense. Any animal that did that would die, even with human intervention.

Do you have any sources which suggest otherwise? I’d be interested to hear of this (relatively publicly available) information was false or misunderstood.

[blackwashedmax]

Bee farmers use whats called a honey maker. It’s a crude devices. It similar to a meat grinder. They force the bees in and grind them up. What comes out is a paste. That paste is later filtered into what we know as honey

[hematite2]

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

[leonardo-nierman]

@zoologicallyobsessed please show us pics of your bee grinder

[gemstone-gynoid]

they might be falsely thinking about a honey extractor machine. but all these do is you place the beehive frames inside and a motor rotates it at a speed that removes the honey, which is then tapped through a tap at the bottom. 

[darkenedyeastextract]

…do they think they put bees in that and spin them around until they vomit…?

[demonius-darkblade]

bee carnival

[yeah-yeah-beebiss-1]

bad and naughty bees get put into the b e e c e n t r i f u g e to extract their honey

[bastlynn]

Vegans coming after beekeepers is one of my major teeth grinding annoyances. For many reasons, because there’s so many lies. And to go one step further because it’s such a waste. You see, the strongest vegan argument is that they don’t want to exploit animals or take from them without their consent.

… but… Bees consent. NO. I’M NOT KIDDING.

How? Bee hives aren’t kept on leashes. They’re outside, the bees can travel miles every day. They follow their queen. Who is also outside, not on a leash, and can travel miles every day. If she doesn’t like the hive for any reason - for example: it got too hot, too cold, too messy, too filled with sugary stuff and they need more space… then the queen leaves. And with her the hive.

The queen stays in the hive because the hive is the best place to live. Period. Done. End of. If the hive is staying with the beekeeper it’s because the keeper is doing their job correctly and keeping them happy because the bees can, and do, leave bad beekeepers.

Of all the animals we have domesticated as livestock, bees are the ones you can most easily argue are consenting participants in their keeping.

[doncdesole]

NAUGHTY BEES GET PUT IN THE BEECENTRIFUGE

IM CRYING OS HARD

[aksldhfgaajdshgaslg-deactivated]

can you tell this hit me hard?

[aksldhfgaajdshgaslg-deactivated]

dinosaurs 🦕 eating people🧍‍♂️

dinosaurs 🦖 💕 🦕 in love

dinosaurs having a party 🎈 🎉

they eat fruit 🍉 🍍 🍎 and cucumber 🥒

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

Me at first

Me at the end

[tua-koffee]

I can’t begin to imagine the potential there is with five working at the commission because they pulled him out of a wasteland so it’s like this is one of our best hit men and he’s like “ya’ll gotta machine to wash dishes??? Woah”

[five-fucking-hargreeves]

The Handler: You don't have to hunt for food anymore. We have a cafeteria.

Five, arm already elbow deep in a mouse hole: a w h a t

[ford-ye-fiji]

Herb: there’s a spider on my desk, quick take it outside

Dot, pulling out paper: I could ask Tony in accounting for a cup?

Five, snatching the spider and stuffing it into his mouth: no need, problem solved 

Dot and Herb:

[crimson-vampire]

Listen guys,,,

I’m obsessed with the fact that c!Techno’s chat are actual voices in his head. Like, this man actually canonized it. Pog

And I was like “wow, that would be pretty cool if that happened with the other streamers, too!”

So I uh… I came up with headcanons for each streamer’s chat… And just like how only Techno can hear the voices in his head, the others can only hear their voices

- c!Dream: his chat is just a little army of white blob guys that follow him around! They chill on his shoulders and whisper “pissbaby” and “simp” at him all day long. But recently, no one’s really seem them around…

- c!George: I was gonna say mushrooms speak to him, but I really like the idea of like… small fairies always flying around him 🥺they love to call him Gogy! They kept tugging at his clothes during the Manberg vs. Pogtopia War to get him to participate, but he ignored them up until the very end

- c!Sapnap: this man’s a pyromaniac so any sort of fire speaks to him. He’s also got small fireballs that sorta float near him and constantly want to fight him

- c!Philza: oh the wind definitely whispers to him. They like to play with his robes and help boost him into the air with his elytra. They also tattle on the other Sleepy Bois. Philza will be chopping down some wood when the wind’ll come and let him know that Tommy has stolen Techno’s crown and won’t give it back. They also help and warn Philza of unexpected guests

- c!Wilbur: the shadows whisper to him, but that’s fine

- c!Tommy: I was stuck on Tommy (so if you have any other ideas, let me know!) but I like the idea of his chat coming out of other people’s mouths. Like, he’ll randomly be talking to Dream when all of a sudden Dream shouts “DON’T TRUST HIM, TOMMY!” It freaks him out every time and he tries to ignore them. If there’s no one else around, the voices force themselves out of his own mouth. Tommy doesn’t like being alone.

- c!Tubbo: bees, of course

- c!Quackity: guys 🥺ducks!!! Just imagine little ducklings following Quackity around,,,

- c!Fundy: foxes, of course

- c!Ranboo: endermen, of course

- c!Antfrost: cats, of course

- c!Niki: 🥺flowers speak to her,,, which is why she loves being in the flower shop. Or like, she’ll be on her way to L’Manberg when a nearby Poppy just says “hi Niki! How are you?” and she’ll have a little chat with it!! After the Manberg vs. Pogtopia War, all the flowers in L’Manberg froze when she uncovered that piece of TNT. They called out for her to run while she still could, and wilted when everything was blown up anyway

- c!Eret: water! He loves to take long walks in the rain and alongside rivers just to hear what they have to say. But also consider: rainbows

- c!Bad: for some reason, words magically etch themselves into the walls around him. They don’t freak him out anymore, but they used to. Especially when they used to bully him. But they’re much nicer now! The curse words that sometimes appear, though, make him think that someone’s playing some kind of prank on him

- c!Skeppy: his voices come from a singular diamond that he carries around in his pocket. It’s like carrying around a speaker phone, except there are so many people on the other end. They like to watch him play pranks on Bad

- c!AwesamDude: guys, imagine little creepers following him around… He’ll randomly go “MMMMMMMMMM ME GUSTA” and the small army of little creepers will all respond with “MMMMMMMMMM–”

- c!Karl: music speaks to him! It’s like the music notes are a language that he can understand and respond to. They like to sing and compliment his laugh and laugh at all his antics

That’s all I got, but if you guys have anymore ideas, feel free to share! I tried not to make all of them have little creatures that follow them around because it gets kinda old. Like, I love the idea of the wind speaking to Philza

Idek if anyone else is interested in this idea, but I’ve fallen in love with it so <:

[vtinesday]

I LOVE THE DUCKLINGS AWWWW

[l-art-stuff-l]

THE ONE WITH TOMMY THO

okay but what if for Tommy the voices come from drops of tears and blood. like think about it. there’s always a little bit with Tommy, no matter where he goes. like, a zombie attacks him and all of a sudden there are voices shouting at him to not trust Dream, to run, fight. then there are the few voices that appear when he’s sad, the ones that long for Ghostinnit to be real. just imagine