PERFECT NACHO CHIP

Benzination, mostly. 30s, Scots, Purple is a good colour.

[langblrwhy]

[dragonflea]

"Put Baby in pelican mouth" has transformed my thinking in ways I haven't entirely discovered yet. The other day at the shop I heard "just give us your ID card at the till to get 15% off such-and-such products!" And my brain went "Big Chain Store perfec/t size for give all your personal data! Deals very cheap and fun your data safe give data to Big Chain Store. Give data to Big Chain Store. No problems ever with Big Chain Store because good size and safety for ID card weak of so much yummy personal data. Abig Chain Store yes a place for data give data to Big Chain Store can trust Big Chain Store for give data to all its friends. Friend Store"

[textpostscymraeg]

mae "Rho Fabi yng ngheg pelican" wedi trawsffurfio fy meddwl mewn ffyrdd dydw i heb eu darganfod yn gyfan gwbl eto. Y diwrnod o'r blaen yn y siop glywais "jyst rhowch eich cerdyn ID i ni wrth y til i dderbyn 15% i ffwrdd o'r hyn a'r llall!" Ac aeth fy ymennydd "Siop Gadwyn Fawr yn faint perffait/h i roi dy holl ddata personol! Bargeinion rhad iawn a hwyl dy ddata yn ddiogel rho ddata i Siop Gadwyn Fawr. Rho ddata i Siop Gadwyn Fawr. Dim problemau byth gyda Siop Gadwyn Fawr oherwydd maint da a diogelwch ar gyfer cerdyn ID yn wan o gymaint o ddata personol blasus. Siop Gadwyn Fawr ydy lle ar gyfer data rho ddata i Siop Gadwyn Fawr gallwch ymddiried yn Siop Gadwyn Fawr i roi data i'w ffrindiau i gyd. Siop Ffrindiau"

[were--ralph]

obsessed with this

[ouroborosorder]

at the point and click adventure club straight up unsure what to do next

[ouroborosorder]

Goin' up to a girl like "She doesn't want to talk to me right now. She doesn't want to- She doe- She doesn't want to talk to me right no- That's the bartender, but I think I've had enough for toni- I can't leave, the party's just getting started!"

[ziggyplayedd]

things that made me stop wanting to die that require no effort whatsoever

change the color used to highlight text on your laptop

move the pictures on your wall

stack whatever clutter is in your room into piles even if you don’t have time to clean it all

slightly vary your commute, even just by one street

change where you sit and scroll aimlessly on your phone even if it’s only to the chair in your room instead of your bed

drink water or juice out of a wine glass in the morning because nothing is real

shower with the lights off, without music

buy $3 flowers at trader joe’s—they look bad next to the more expensive ones but they look so good in your room

start typing things you don’t post into your notes. your thoughts can be worth documenting even if you don’t deem them worth sharing

wake up super early just once. you don’t have to make it a habit it’s just extra satisfying to go to bed that night

listen to the entirety of your favorite album from 2015

[sandersstudies]

Almost all of these are about variety. Humans need stimulation! We need enrichment! We literally cannot do the same thing every day!

The other day I was feeling miserable, so I hopped on a bus and rode it all the way back to where I’d started, and my brain, which had finally had some proper stimulation via new environments, was suddenly ready to go again!

This is why taking walks/drives and trying new hobbies are good for you! Don’t turn yourself into a sad zoo animal! You need some pumpkins to roll around in your enclosure!

[yippeeepenid]

ITS BACK!!!!!

god i fucking love the quote “dont turn yourself into a sad zoo animal” it has really inspired me!

[lil-shiro]

Idk why but i find this funny even tho i need context

[dastardlydorito]

[sandmandaddy69]

[alamuts-lair-of-madness]

A "salad" of radishes on the side would make this dish perfect.

[wanderrealms]

You could add mozzarella pearls to the radish salad. Soften the pepperiness of radishes a little.

[alamuts-lair-of-madness]

Do they sell mozzarella balls that small?

[wanderrealms]

Yeah, they're sold as mozzarella pearls. The idea is that you can throw them into a salad, instead of shredding a normal sized mozzarella ball.

Some stores have mozzarella in a tube shape and it's firmer. You can slice pieces and put them on pizza and they keep the shape better.

[alamuts-lair-of-madness]

Yup, balls and bricks are what I'm familiar with.

But yeah, more spheres for the sphere menu! xD

[recess-is-in]

could have mochi for dessert

[mrcloudyfun]

At the Tumblr Ball Pit Diner

[knightofleo]

[herpsandbirds]

Common eider

[phynoma]

This needs to be immortalized because it's what made me turn on the sound. And they were right

[ovadrive]

[castellankurze]

The Gimli Glider is one of those stories where every aspect sounds more fake than the last and yet it all actually happened.

-A passenger plane was underloaded with fuel because Canada had just converted to the metric system and everyone supposed to double check their numbers got it wrong. -When the plane ran out of fuel they were too far away to make it to an in-service airport and had to head towards the Gimli military base.  Which was shuttered. -They were coming in to fast due to a lack of flaps control and had to perform a series of slips (as shown in the video above) to slow down, basically drifting a giant passenger plane. -As they come down they realized that just because Gimli’s been decommissioned doesn’t mean it’s abandoned because a bunch of people are having drag races on the runway they’re about to need. -Despite everything they managed to land safely and no one was killed or even hurt which is why it’s one of the best air disasters to meme on.

[zanmor]

The Wikipedia page on this is fantastic and my favorite line from it is “Flying with all engines out was never expected to occur, so it had never been covered in training.”

[lesferatu]

Nice

[jellogram]

Whoever made you think you'd get teased for not drinking alcohol at parties was lying. You're their new supreme. You can go pick up more snacks. You can take care of the fallen. You can talk to the cops. If you have a car, you can drive people home.

In movies they always portray the sober person as a nerd but it's more like being a priest. Your lack of engagement in the carnal realities of the party makes you holy and powerful. You are a vital pillar of the community. A rock in a raging storm. Now go answer the door for the pizza man.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[salamandorange]

The most PATHETIC lil baby sounds...

[whitebear-ofthe-watertribe]

I love when little creatures who are entirely loved and well cared for have the BIGGEST baby reactions to normal things. Like yes sweet pea, you DO have the hardest life of anyone ever, for sure, and you’re SO BRAVE about this minor inconvenience of *checks notes* having some water touch you

[cephalon-sancti]

There is nothing sadder and more pathetic than a baby marine mammal having to get into the water. They are suffering the most out of any baby animal ever. How dare they be introduced to their natural environment.

[json-derulo]

endlessly funny that some pets will just decide they are service animals now without any training or feedback from humans. babygirl no one hired you. you do not have a license for this

[json-derulo]

I’m not talking about humans pretending their untrained pets are service animals so they can bring them places they shouldn’t be allowed. I’m talking about my dog, who took one look at the two people with severe ADHD time-blindness and executive dysfunction who adopted him and was like, “Great. I am your Watch Dog now, as in, dog who functions like a watch. That is, if your watch was a seven-pound furby that could run this house like the goddamn navy. I will catapult myself onto your chest and nip at your hands when you fail to get up and Do Things in response to my incessant whining that it is Time For You To Eat Lunch/Get Out Of Bed/Go Exercise/Take Your Meds/Etc Now Now Right Now. This is a service I provide for to Helping You. No, you cannot opt out of the Helping You. Do not attempt to resist the Helping You.”

[json-derulo]

⬆️ Trained Professional

[json-derulo]

[ineffectualdemon]

My cat knows when I should stay in bed and screams at me until I do and then sits on me so I don't get back up. If I do get up she follows me and screams until I sit down again

She knows by sniffing my mouth first. Which she does at least once a day

When I am struggling to eat she'll do her "I need food" act even when her food is full until I eat

[fallowthistlefield]

@thebibliosphere I think we've found Holly Mop's people

[thebibliosphere]

Some beloved critters really take the ‘companion’ role so seriously they train themselves to go above and beyond to the point where you’ll find yourself being bullied into lying down by a 10lb Shih Tzu. And then they’re right. You were getting a migraine. (It’s me. I’m in bed with a migraine with a 10lb Shih Tzu lying on top of me.)

[alexseanchai]

oh look it's my cats

[jmtorres]

my cat is currently sitting on top of me CERTAIN i should stay in bed

i started a new med she has not adjusted to me having energy tbh i have not adjusted fully either the whole situation is weird

[jmtorres]

and Diesel

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Just figured out something about Diesel that makes me feel like such a dumbarse

[luck-system-shenanigans]

do share please

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

So for those who don't know, Diesel is a typical housecat. He has typical cat behaviours and enjoys typical cat things. He's my neighbour's cat, not mine, but I feed him even though I probably shouldn't, mostly because somebody has to.

Like most cats, Diesel enjoys tasty food. He gets wet food each afternoon and can get pretty pushy in the hour or so pre-food, which is normal for cats. Sometimes, he also gets pushy at random times of the day, including a couple of hours after already having wet food, which is also not unusual for cats, so I just chalk it up to his annoying cat behaviour. It'll be a few hours after his dinner and he'll stand in front of my computer screen staring at me and I'll go to make a coffee and he'll run to the fridge and meow at me, and grab my leg when I try to leave the kitchen; it's all very annoying but hey, some cats are annoying, whatever. It's particularly annoying because he mostly seems do to it when I'm super hungry and then it feels awkward to fix myself something while he's looking at me like this, then pushing him away from my food, and somehow after I eat he's never

He does it when I'm hungry.

If you can see where this is going then you're a lot smarter than me, because it wasn't until this week that I started paying attention. When Diesel started badgering me and luring me into the kitchen, I started going. I started making myself some food. I sit down to eat it, he jumps up to smell it like normal; I push him away like normal and he goes to eat some of his dry food (the same dry food that's been there all day but he's been ignoring and bugging me instead) while I eat my soup. Afterwards he stops bugging me and either goes off somewhere to do his own thing or comes over for a snuggle.

Diesel's not leading me to the kitchen to ask for wet food. He's leading me there to tell me to eat. I'm being fuckign. Handled. By a half-stray housecat.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

He's currently purring at me and asking for post-dinner snuggles but it just feels condescending now.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Me: Diesel do not eat my soup.

Diesel: I am confirming that you have food and not yet another craft project to get lost in. Good. Now I will go to my bowl and we can eat together.

[boybeetles]

Someone in Glasgow please go see this for me pls. I will be there in spirit 🙏

[breadlesbian]

i still do not understand what possessed so many well-respected actors to do the spy kids movies like

did they pay really well? did you want these beautiful, terrible movies to be a blemish on your career forever?? why

 antonio banderas did so many high-profile movies then in spy kids he looked like this

tony shalhoub has won multiple emmys but he did spy kids and

even fucking george clooney wtf

steve buscemi is pretty goofy but still

salma hayek’s pigtails in this wow 

elijah wood was the lead in a movie that’s tied for the largest number of oscars of all time and he played a character creatively named “THE GUY”

sylvester stallone is like a cultural icon and he played not one but FOUR ridiculously dressed weirdos

alan cumming is the only one i can understand 

[aphony-cree]

The films were made by Robert Rodriguez who’s mostly known for gritty dramas like Sin City. His film From Dusk Til Dawn is credited with kick starting George Clooney and Salma Hayek’s movies careers. Almost all of the big names in the movies are people he’d become friends with while working on previous projects. He built a studio in his home so these films could be made quickly and cheaply, which meant the cast was basically signing up to hang out at a friend’s house for a few weeks and do some fun acting

Kids don’t care about production value, you can make big bucks off a cheaply made kids movie as long as the story appeals to the kids and there’s something to draw in adults. The big name actors drew in parents so they’d spend money on the movies and let their kids watch them on repeat, and kids loved the stories. Each movie was made for $40 million or less and the franchise earned over half a billion dollars. The actors got big paydays for a small amount of work with a director they love

[transarsonist]

It’s also, every decision in the entire first 3 movies was made on the premice of “is it fun? Is it funny? Does it bring joy?” And it shows.

[maximumsunshine]

Sometimes you just want to have fun.

[prokopetz]

I will accept that housecats ordinarily do not hunt cooperatively, but whenever a mouse gets into my house, my cats will literally coordinate with each other to flush it toward me so I can grab it with my special Mouse Catching Glove and chuck into the field out back, so clearly it's a skill they can learn.

[froxictog]

My cat, meanwhile, carefully rotates so that she is facing directly away from the mouse at all times, because if she faced towards it, she might be obligated to do something about it.

[orcposts]

do not go gentle into that good night

[orcposts]

be a bit of a bitch about it

[transbian-uprising]

can't in good conscience leave this out