A Certain Kind Of Weird

Hello! Call me Marijn! They/them Old enough to get gray hairs apparently, ADHD, American ——— Current hyperfixation: [redacted] ——— This blog is basically a dump for anything I like + my hyperfixations. Avatar made in ThePastelHobbit’s Picrew. Banner from Google.

[earmo-imni]

About Me

Oh, look, I finally made a pinned post.  Okay, here’s the important stuff:

Hi!  I’m Marijn (rhymes with line, if you’re curious).  I’m a 26-year-old aroace nonbinary person (they/them pronouns).  I have ADHD, so sometimes I’ll get a hyperfixation and my blog will temporarily become mostly that thing for a bit.  I’ll try to keep my current hyperfixation updated in the blog description. My previous url was marilleraine.

Originally, I didn’t try to keep any kind of organization on this blog.  And by originally I mean “for the first few years.”  So a HUGE chunk of my posts aren’t tagged, or only tagged for common triggers and what I wanted to save.  I now try to maintain some kind of organization, though, so I’m making a list of tags I use here.  Also lists of my main fandoms, blorbos, OCs, and sideblogs. (If there’s no link, that’s because I haven’t made it yet.  This is a work in progress.)

Please note that due to my ADHD my tagging is inconsistent at best. There will be untagged triggers, discourse, and real-world shit here. Please take care of your mental health.

Tag List

Fandom List

Blorbo List

OC Masterlist

Sideblogs

Also, for your perusal, my controversial opinions. (If there’s no link check back in a few days) (Some of these should not be controversial, but they are, so they’re on there.) i highly recommend reading this before following me, but if you don’t, whatever, I can’t force you.

Finally, please be aware that I do not donate to strangers on the internet. I just don’t have the time, energy, or executive function to ensure every person I see asking for money is legit, so if you come in my inbox asking for money you’re getting blocked at best. If you’re actually legit, I’m sorry, but I can’t help you. There are other people who help boost fundraisers and the like, go find one of them. Please.

[microsff]

Every morning, the queen asked her magic mirror to show her the most beautiful person in the world.

The mirror replied "To whom?"

"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".

The mirror would show her, and she'd be amazed.

[nullen-void]

The first time, she says "To me," and the mirror dutifully shows her her reflection. And she is pleased.

The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.

The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.

The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.

The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.

The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity

"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.

"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.

"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.

The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.

It is a different person each time, and they are all beautiful.

[sunderwight]

Cursed to be stuck inside this ancient amulet for years but you know I was kind of getting used to it. The solitude had eaten away just enough of my sanity that I'm pretty sure it only would've been a few more days before I started hallucinating some really neat shit.

But then. THEN. This fuckass twink descendant of my mortal enemies picks up my amulet. Takes right out of the sacred chamber. I guess it was finally a ruin now? Worse timing possible, too late to stop me going insane and right before the insanity could pay off.

So some clueless idiot is actually wearing me for the first time in centuries. I'm gonna wreck this dude's shit, I don't care if he is weirdly nice and kind of pretty in the face department. The second I accumulate enough power I'm breaking out of here and making him regret being born.

[sunderwight]

Okay so I did accumulate enough energy that I might have been able to break out, maybe, but also probably not quite just yet. Which is why I had to use it to stop that dragon from killing Captain Fuckwit.

Like I had to do it. If the dragon kills him how am I supposed to be the one to do it? I didn't rot in that sealed chamber for centuries just so that the last living descendant of my most hated enemies could get offed by something that wasn't me. There's no poetic justice in that and also I am NOT owing any dragons any favors.

[sunderwight]

I've been thinking about how I'm going to kill this guy. I mean there's not a lot else to do, I'm still stuck in the amulet so mostly I'm limited to being spooky in his dreams until I suck up some more power. But it's going to happen. I'm out of the sealed chamber now there's so many opportunities and also I'm patient. I've learned to be extremely patient. Would be weird if I hadn't.

Anyway I'm not going to kill him right away. Where's the satisfaction in that? He's the last descendant of my enemies (pretty sure) so of course I gotta drag it out. This is the only revenge I might ever get. I'll have to capture him. Keep him sealed away for a long time, see how he likes it. But like. In a nicer placed than that fucking chamber because unlike some long dead assholes, I have standards. Plus I'm also going to spending a lot of my time there too, menacing him and shit, so it better be nice for me.

I'm thinking summer house on an otherwise uninhabited island. I keep him there where there are no dragons or ogres or demon kings to interrupt, and I tell him all about the shitty things his ancestors did, to like. Demoralize him. So that he knows that even though I'm a scary evil creature that's going to be his ending, he doesn't get as much moral high ground as he'd probably like. I make him eat meals with me just to draw out the tension, and then I give him nightmares, making him twist and writhe in his sweat-soaked sheets while his heart hammers against his ribs and he wonders if this will finally be the night I finish him.

Yeah. Sounds good.

[sunderwight]

Fuck. Turns out there's another one. Descendant of my hated enemies from centuries ago, I mean.

Hope he falls off a cliff.

[sunderwight]

Listen. Giving him command of the remnants of my dark army is just practical right now. I don't have the energy to communicate extensively with them myself, and they'll keep him alive long enough for me to take my elaborate revenge without me constantly having to intervene and sacrifice my own energy to do it. And anyway I have ceremonies to plan, it's going to be amazing, I'm going to round up every last remnant from the old days so that they can witness my final triumph when I claim his life and soul forever.

Also, he used them to humiliate that other fuckass descendant guy. Even I can begrudgingly admit it was pretty well done. Corrupting influence gain! I'm kind of surprised his allies haven't all abandoned him for using dark and sinister forces to save their lives, though, but I guess it's fine if they don't. Sure why not. We can be cool with raising cursed armies in this day and age apparently. Yeah that thing I was sealed away for for centuries is just not a big deal now. Cool cool cool.

[sunderwight]

You know what, I'm going to make his friends come to the ceremony too. So they can also witness my triumph and his utter defeat and subjugation at my hands.

Maybe I'll even let them visit him in his woeful imprisonment afterwards as well. Just to really hammer the point home. They're not the worst company, at least. Not as annoying as heroes used to be. We can have them over for dinner while I lord my victory above their helplessness. Real power move to just let them come and see the guy that they are nevertheless unable to free from my dark clutches.

I guess I better make sure they also don't all die either, if that's the case. It's a good thing I'm patient. So many fucking setbacks!

[sunderwight]

AHAHAHAHA!!!! YES!!! FREEDOM!!! I'm out of the FUCKING amulet!!! At last, nothing stands between me and total domination!!!

The hero is already kneeling, too!!!

[sunderwight]

God fucking dammit.

Those guys were supposed to be dead for centuries! And they're still ruining my life! Fucking. That fuckass other descendant managed to summon them and of course THEY are still not cool with me or my dark forces, although I'm going to be real, they weren't looking too noble and above-aboard themselves when they turned up. That was some hypocritical undead revenant bullshit.

Of course I ended up fighting them. They attacked first! Again! They were even trying to kill their own descendant! And those heinous bitches called me the monster. I've never tried to kill my own descendants. Probably because I don't have any but still. At least try and take over his body first or something!

Well actually they did try it, I think? But that hero of theirs had worn my amulet for so long that he was too corrupted for it to work. Ha!

Small victories.

I'm going to need to hang onto those.

Because now I'm sealed back in the fucking Chamber Eternal again.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING---!!!!

Okay.

Alright.

I'm not going to lie this isn't looking good. I'm not in the amulet anymore but the seals on the chamber are strong, made with the souls of those fuckdamn ancient heroes. All my power is left with their descendant on the outside now. My plans are thwarted. I'm going to languish in this minimalist hell of a chamber until those ancient souls run out of juice, and currently they're forming a dome of spiritual energy so flush with power that the ghosts on the moon can probably see it.

It... it's going to be... I mean. It'll be fine. Back to getting to the good part of going insane, right?

[sunderwight]

You guys are not going to believe how I got out of the chamber.

[sunderwight]

Okay I think I've figured out what's going on.

I was really confused at first because, why would my sworn enemy who I've been plotting vengeance against this entire time free me from the chamber? At great effort and personal risk, no less? That fight was absolutely brutal, I'm not sure I could have even done it myself in his place, and I mean his situation without even bothering was quite good. He had all of my power. His ancestors were likewise distracted with sealing me away. He could have ascended to become the next Dark Lord or, I don't know, ran around doing his Power of Friendship bullshit for the next ten thousand years largely uncontested. Not only does he not have a further use for me but if anything, I present a massive threat to him if I can regain enough strength to take my power back.

But I think that's it! That Power of Friendship bullshit! Somehow, this guy has mistaken me for an ally.

I can work with this.

As long as he doesn't suspect that we're actually enemies, I can bide my time, restore my power, wrestle control of my armies back from his grasp, and then get him back on his knees.

I just need to pretend that I've actually been helping him out this entire time.

[sunderwight]

I really want him back on his knees. That was a good look on him. He's got like super long eyelashes for a dude. Plus you know that's where he belongs, groveling before my might! Mwahahaha!

[sunderwight]

Well this is going surprisingly well. Like I don't think it's even occurred to him to be suspicious of me? He hasn't even tried to drug me with truth serum or test me at a holy spring or drag me in front of any tribunals. When I caught one of his little friends passing information to his rivals he just... took my word for it. I could have been lying. I wasn't, because I was actually expecting him to check, but I could have been.

I'm almost starting to wonder if he really is descended from those ancient hero fuckers, he doesn't act like them at all. The apple must have rolled into a goddamn river and been carried off to sea after it fell off that tree.

This is going to be easier than I thought.

[sunderwight]

Just because I'm pretending to be his ally doesn't mean I can't still sabotage him, of course. That one little traitor might have been a real mole, who is... somehow still in the group, and not beheaded or anything(????). But I'm pretty sure the king's son is genuinely devoted to his brother-in-arms, to my hero-enemy, and hasn't committed any convenient betrayals that I can dig out and wave around to get rid of him. If that even would get rid of him (see: traitor mole still in group). More's the pity.

Such a strong political alliance with the ruling family will further cement my hero's power in this region. Potentially, that will make it even harder to extricate him for my own purposes later on. Of course, it's not worth the risk if I do something too extreme and it gets traced back to me, so I can't simply kill the prince.

But I didn't study medicine at my grandmother's knee just to forget all the useful bits in my dark rise to power. That idiot won't be riding out to adventure alongside his 'sworn brother' tomorrow if he has too many embarrassing rashes to get into his saddle.

This might seem like a petty plot that is beneath me but it's tactically sound. I've thought about it a lot.

[sunderwight]

I hate having no powers. Keep forgetting I can't turn invisible.

I can't believe I'm probably going to get ousted because I was caught putting itching cream in the shithead prince's ointment.

[sunderwight]

Apparently the prince is engaged to a princess from a neighboring kingdom who is also his childhood friend and one true love.

I don't know why people keep bringing that up as if I should care, but they haven't thrown me in a cell yet. So. Okay?

[sunderwight]

Starting to think I could just light this place on fire and everyone here would start apologizing for all the smoke.

[sunderwight]

I take it back these people are abominably over-observant. I'd rather be caught trying to poison the prince again, but the hero's singular suspicious friend, that woman knight, just had to follow me to the abandoned shrine instead.

Cats are one of nature's most successful predators. Properly trained, a dark familiar is an excellent spy and helper, and I am in need of every advantage I can get right now. Everyone knows the best way to ingratiate yourself to animals is to get them young. Feeding kittens is a sinister action.

I mean it's good that it helps my cover that these people think otherwise, it's just that they're wrong. Half of my family was executed for feeding cats. Back in those days everyone knew what was up and nobody cooed about it.

[sunderwight]

Shit, shit, I knew we shouldn't have kept that mole around. Fucking sob story bullshit. The hero's captured. My dark feline army isn't ready! I'm going to have to turn to some other means of regaining him before the enemy steals my power from him. They can't be allowed to do that. It'd kill him but more importantly it would make it that much harder for me to ever reclaim it.

[sunderwight]

HOW FUCKING DARE THEY?!

The only one allowed to strip him and put him in chains is me!!! ME!!! He's mine!!! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE FIRST TO DO THAT TO HIM!!!

Bastards! Hacks!

I didn't sell my soul to eight different devils to be upstaged by some fuckers who barely grasps the fundamentals of summoning circles. Fuck the low battery I don't need the dark forces of beyond to take these bitches out, their rituals are shit enough I'm going to end them with a piece of chalk and three drops of blood. Hold my fucking beer.

[sunderwight]

Fixed it.

[sunderwight]

Gonna have to rework some of my dungeon/summer home plans. Chains are tacky. Some good enchanted silk rope works just as well.

[sunderwight]

Hero says he needs to reward me for saving him when we get back. I should probably decline whatever it is, that's what all these people seem to do, but I'll at least see what he's offering first. Just in case it's worth cracking my cover for.

[sunderwight]

You guys are not going to believe what the reward turned out to be.

[sunderwight]

I'll have to revise some of these long term plans.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[atlinmerrick]

I literally said, "Are you kidding me?" IN THE GASPED ADMIRING WAY.

[baddbyrne]

okay not to ocpost again but the worst thing about having an oc is sometimes they become The Character to you. and you need to talk to someone about it like wow I can’t stop thinking about The Character… but in order to do so you have to like sit them down and explain everything about your oc first. and then it’s just you explaining your writing ideas. i need to talk about them the same way i would talk about any random character i love to someone.

[thoodleoo]

reading about the participation of children in rituals as a form of play in ancient greece and came across an incredibly charming story from julius pollux's onomasticon where a flood prevented the adults from reaching a sanctuary to sacrifice a ram to heracles, and the children solved the problem by....sticking a bunch of sticks in an apple to give it "legs" and "horns" and offering it as a sacrifice instead. it's such a charming thought and i can perfectly picture kids these days also pretending at sacrificing an apple "goat" at recess

[oodlyenough]

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.

[snarkspawn]

him angy

[jackeloop]

What Table Would You Be At?

In the long dark winter of our soul (aka the summer break) something needs to take the effects of my hyper fixation

Are you a Soldier? On a quest for justice or revenge? Ready to fight and flee and raise your weapons?

Are you a Seeker, searching for something lost? Something that needs to be found before it is too late.

Or are you a Schemer? Do you have a day job that needs work and night shifts that keep you up until dawn doing the hard work it takes to change fates?

Show me your results! I wanna seeeeeeee

I did my best to keep spoilers out of it, so you should be able to take the quiz even if you're not caught up on Arc 1 yet.

[torstherapy]

[theaspecyear]

People need to understand that the point ISN’T “being single is not a failure if you’re aromantic”, the point is being single is not a failure full stop.

You can be allo and be single; it’s allowed. You feeling attraction doesn’t mean your priority NEEDS to be finding romance (it can be! But it also can not).

Being single should be normalized no matter what your romantic/sexual orientation is. It isn’t a tragedy.

[cartoonverisimilitude]

I’ll take your “Jewish Ryland Grace” headcanon and raise you a “Jewish Eva Stratt.”

Think about it. An Eva Stratt raised Jewish but erased all public records connected to her people to protect them. So they wouldn’t be blamed for her mistakes. An Eva Stratt who wrapped her mission in Christian symbolism to make it more palatable to the public. An Eva Stratt who wholeheartedly believes in G-d.

An Eva Stratt who sits in the back during Yom Kippur services knowing the one person whose forgiveness she wants most can never grant it to her. An Eva Stratt who lit yahrzeit candles and says the Mourner’s Kaddish every year on the anniversary of the Hail Mary launch..just in case.

An Eva Stratt who chose to study history because of the stories her parents and grandparents told her of how their people were cast out and mistreated and killed over and over again - and she wanted to understand the why but could never find one. So she switched tracks to do everything in her power to make sure “Never again” wasn’t just a hollow slogan.

An Eva Stratt who knows how horrible humanity can be and still did everything in her power to ensure that they survived the impossible.

An Eva Stratt, who upon receiving the cure for the astrophage said the shehecheyanu for the first time in years.

….:Imagine a Jewish Eva Stratt.

[yet-another-blorbo-poll-blog]

Have you ever written fanfiction of your blorbo?

Yes, and I’ve shared it

Yes, but I haven’t shared it

No, but I’ve made aus of them (whether it got shared or not doesn’t matter)

No, but I want to

No, and I don’t want to

Other/nuance

Voting ended on35m

[janegumball]

⭐️Through the Generations⭐️

Happy to share that these will be unlockable pin designs in my upcoming pony pin kickstarter!

Sign up to be notified when the KS goes live 💕

[whyenn-reader]

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

[astriiformes]

To be quite honest with you all I do think that aro/ace-spectrum fans in fandoms where people are desperately inventing crossover ships and humanizing non-human characters in order to have a conventionally attractive guy to ship the main character with, instead of possibly having to enjoy a story with no romance in it, have the right to refer to everyone else as cowards.

[earmo-imni]

Thinking about that one Hermione Granger/Severus Snape fic that was actually not squicky af (for me) by virtue of Hermione having an accident with her Time-Turner that sent her back to the past so that Snape was a student only two years older than her

And also it was like half a million words long

(Obligatory “I do not support JKR, Harry Potter just comprised a huge portion of my childhood and early fandom years so I have a lot of memories of it” disclaimer)