Today's Document
Discoholic 🪩
No title available
Andulka
Janaina Medeiros
cherry valley forever
Three Goblin Art
taylor price
Peter Solarz
Cosimo Galluzzi
roma★
if i look back, i am lost
tumblr dot com
★
AnasAbdin
No title available
No title available
No title available
sheepfilms
will byers stan first human second
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Albania
seen from Netherlands
seen from Romania
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from Germany
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seen from Türkiye
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seen from Sweden
@einarshadow
#Please little bird
I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.
A woman makes a deal with the devil… but before signing, she actually reads the contract. She is the first to do so.
She’s got a good head on her shoulders. That’s what Grandma said and Uncle said and Daddy said and Peter said. She’s got a good head on her shoulders.
So even though the brimstone in the air is making her eyes water, even though the ground is so hot it’s making the rubber of her soles soft, even though he’s looking at her with fire in his eyes, she’s not going to go throwing that away now. This deal is too important to lose her head now.
“It’s the standard contract,” the devil says. The pinstripes on his suit aren’t black like she’d first thought. They’re red and they shine in the red light of his eyes. “I get rid his cancer and then you give me your soul on your dying day. That’s a good deal isn’t it? You’ll have the rest of your lives together.”
She hunches over the paper and her shoulders shake. He thinks she’s crying right now, he thinks she’s trying to muster the courage to sign, but she’s not. She’s reading the fine print because it’s the only part of the paper that’s not red like the pinstripes of his suit. It’s black, blacker than anything she’s seen and she knows it’d be bad to let her eyes skip over it.
She bites her lip until blood wells. When it drops, it falls on one word. Just one. Her blood eats through the ink of this word, steaming and hissing. She breathes in the smoke and feels the word settle deep into her lungs.
Then, when she’s done, she stands tall and she looks the devil in the eye. His smile flickers when he sees that she’s got the same fire in her eyes as him, when he sees that there aren’t any tear tracks on her face.
“Sure,” she says, heart a rampaging thing in her chest. “That’s a good deal.”
His smile returns full force when she signs it. He takes the paper lovingly into his jacket, presses his own bloodied finger to it to sign it, sweeps a bow, and promises she won’t see him until she’s on her death bed.
She knows she’ll be seeing him a lot sooner than that.
Keep reading
A woman makes a deal with the devil… but before signing, she actually reads the contract. She is the first to do so.
She’s got a good head on her shoulders. That’s what Grandma said and Uncle said and Daddy said and Peter said. She’s got a good head on her shoulders.
So even though the brimstone in the air is making her eyes water, even though the ground is so hot it’s making the rubber of her soles soft, even though he’s looking at her with fire in his eyes, she’s not going to go throwing that away now. This deal is too important to lose her head now.
“It’s the standard contract,” the devil says. The pinstripes on his suit aren’t black like she’d first thought. They’re red and they shine in the red light of his eyes. “I get rid his cancer and then you give me your soul on your dying day. That’s a good deal isn’t it? You’ll have the rest of your lives together.”
She hunches over the paper and her shoulders shake. He thinks she’s crying right now, he thinks she’s trying to muster the courage to sign, but she’s not. She’s reading the fine print because it’s the only part of the paper that’s not red like the pinstripes of his suit. It’s black, blacker than anything she’s seen and she knows it’d be bad to let her eyes skip over it.
She bites her lip until blood wells. When it drops, it falls on one word. Just one. Her blood eats through the ink of this word, steaming and hissing. She breathes in the smoke and feels the word settle deep into her lungs.
Then, when she’s done, she stands tall and she looks the devil in the eye. His smile flickers when he sees that she’s got the same fire in her eyes as him, when he sees that there aren’t any tear tracks on her face.
“Sure,” she says, heart a rampaging thing in her chest. “That’s a good deal.”
His smile returns full force when she signs it. He takes the paper lovingly into his jacket, presses his own bloodied finger to it to sign it, sweeps a bow, and promises she won’t see him until she’s on her death bed.
She knows she’ll be seeing him a lot sooner than that.
Keep reading
movie called technically blonde where she goes to trade school instead
No but you don't understand. Rocking up to Welding class with 100% barbie pink tools is such a POWER MOVE.
"Jeremy, I'd really like my orbital sander back ^_^"
"... didn't know it was yours..."
(Legit excited, no sarcasm) "Someone ELSE has the original Box 20-Volt Brushless Cordless Detail Sander with Dust Management?!?!?!?!"
"...no..."
Teacher walking up like "Miss Woods, is that a nail file"
(Elle, blasting compressed air to get rid of the nail file sand)
"Actually, its an emery board. But yes! :D It's a finer grit than what we have, and I've always found these easier to handle"
"...Ok, fair enough."
Elle making friends with the 6 year old daughter of one of her classmates. (Child care ain't cheap, I get it. Bring your kid to class)
Elle learning how to drive a forklift/motorcycle/semi-truck
Elle giving an impromptu lecture in the break room about what gifts to give their wives/girlfriends/mothers
Fucking laser cut "bless this mess" sign on her locker (I lied. It would totally be live, laugh, laser)
Elle's car breaks down and 20+ dudes coming out to show her how to fix it. (And realizing her mechanic is ripping her off)
Every single guy in the building filled with instant despair when she gets with one of the butch lesbians in the program.
Gimme plzzz
My brother recently bought a house in the rural outskirts of his city, and apparently it's a real fixer-upper, but that's always been the kind of thing he loves doing. So he has a truck now (to haul stuff for all the repairs he's doing on the house). He's already fond of flannel. He bakes his own bread.
And now a cat has turned up, so he has a cat.
With Christmas rapidly approaching, it's dawning on me that my own brother is, in fact, Hallmark Christmas Movie Small Town Man.
If he shows up to Christmas dinner with a bewildered hedge fund manager who got stranded in his town and fell in love with him over an ice sculpture carving competition or some shit, I'm gonna have to stage an intervention.
god forbid men do anything
Our fandom forbearers did NOT suffer through Anne Rice, strikethrough, and other bullshit for fucking ACOTAR and Harry Potter fans to fucking ruin it for all of us by selling fanfiction. I am not losing novel length yaoi epics because some of you don't know how to act in fannish spaces and yes I do blame the booktokification of fanfic but I also blame those of you that treat fandom like content to consume and not a community to engage with.
Seriously people, learn fandom etiquette. It exists, it exists for extremely good reasons, and it's been decades in the making.
You know the saying, 'OSHA regulations are written in blood'? Yeah, that applies to fandom etiquette. We didn't make this shit up to lord it over newcomers, these rules evolved as a form of fucking self-defense and by god we'll die on this hill.
So stop putting other people's fanfictions on KINDLE UNLIMITED!!!
In case you're unaware: that can (and will) get the writer and publisher a Cease & Desist and very possibly a lawsuit. Which they will lose.
Fanfic must be free or else it is breaking copyright — even advertising on a fanfic website is risky.
You do not own the copyright. You do not own the characters. You do not make money off copyrights that are not your own.
Who TF is putting fanfic on Kindle Unlimited??
anyway can we all just agree that Isobel is the most attractive character in bg3. hot moon-worshipping lesbian who’s dating an angel. and she has cool hair.
The weird collection that starts hanging out in your camp in BG3 is such peak dnd, I love it. Just picking up strays as we travel down the Sword Coast. Got the world's beefiest elf and a baby sorcerer and a bone man AND darkness incarnate except he's just a slightly eerie child. Rotated some of them out but I've still got an ginger orphan, her ginger cat whose terrified of everyone, a legendary High Harper/Arch Druid, some moon lesbians, and a random demon who we all hate. At any given moment one of them is probably a murderous shape shifter but. you know. that's how it is sometimes I'm sure it'll be fine.
i love bg3. where else will i see a lesbian moon angel break a guy's spine over her knee
Thank you bg3 for giving me moon lesbians
Boobs and breasts if i’m being honest
hips and thighs, if I may
How the fuck did he get hired there giving his name as “The Doctor”?
Im pretty sure he either used psychic paper or said “fuck it” and just made his own name tag and pretended he was hired.
I have one of those Doctor Who books that gives extra info on stuff and someone made up the application he sent to get hired and you really have to find it and see it because it’s pure gold. He put his age as like 1,200 and crossed it out and put 50 or something then wrote “Is that too high?” and crossed that out too and just wrote 29
I know I already reblogged it, but I had a feeling I’d seen that application IRL, so I dug out my books and went looking.
:)
i cant
“Male so far”
Adventures of Superman 01.06
I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?
Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.
The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.
there are only two genders: frog and pig
I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either
1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR
2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children
yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology
oh god
Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it
Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?
Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like
So do with that what you will
Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):
Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha
I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.
In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.
This is the worst addition to this post
I am reminded of Treasure Planet.
In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies
I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?
Or is that just something my brain made up?
Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman
Last time I saw this
post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at
the second Eggman
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
anyone in this thread smoke weed
In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them
(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)
Treasure Planet had mpreg???
I can't believe Doppler and Amelia are canonically t4t! Good for them, good for them.
In Doctor Who, Thomas Kincade Brannigan (Catkind) and his wife Valerie (Human)...
(Ignore David Tennant)
Have children, and they are just LITERAL KITTENS.
You were once the demon king. “Defeated” by the hero, you went into hiding to pursue a simpler life. Today the “hero” has appeared, threatening you family to pay tribute, not realizing who you actually are. Today you show them what happens when you have something worth fighting to protect.
You are told at seven that you won’t ever do anything good in your life. You grow up knowing that it doesn’t matter that you help your younger sister make her letters properly or that you’re the one who stays up late with mother when too many custom orders come through the tailor shop. It doesn’t matter that you don’t want to hurt anyone or control anyone or anything of the sort. It doesn’t matter that your name means Light in your mother’s native language because as soon as they realize that you’re the Demon King, no one ever calls your name again.
You are chased out of your village the moment your powers bloom at fifteen years old, and the skies turn black with your fear. A rock hits you between your shoulder blades just as you make it to the main road and you stumble, falling to your knees in a mud puddle at the very moment the skies open up.
“She’s cursing us!” the midwife who delivered you screams over the thunder. “She’s damning us with her!”
Your mother is crying, but she doesn’t raise a hand to help you. She did everything she could, keeping your Role a secret all these years. She won’t risk anymore with another little girl to take care of.
No one tells you that you have a choice. No kind stranger drags you out of the rain and into the warmth of their home where a wise sage tells you it is not how we are born, but what choices we make.
Instead, you take the little pack your mother hid for you in the depths of the forest and sling it over your shoulder. There’s money, provisions, and more wraps to cover the evil mark on your left bicep.
“Your destiny will find you,” your mother told you only hours ago. “I forgive you for it.”
She meant the words as a comfort, but you only heard condemnation in it. Without having killed so much as a fly, she is already blessing you with forgiveness.
Keep reading
this is great actually
