ojovivo
ellievsbear
$LAYYYTER
Cosmic Funnies
Claire Keane
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Origami Around
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Not today Justin
Cosimo Galluzzi
tannertan36
★
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Mike Driver
roma★
pixel skylines
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
hello vonnie
d e v o n
seen from Brazil
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@el-garedou
the thing about "people have talked about it you're just 21" is that it's not really "young people are stupid" it's more "if you come into an academic discussion you should know what people have said on the matter lest you talk out your ass"
thinking about that time Ra’s heard Damian yelling so he grabbed his swords to go kill whoever was threatening his grandson, only to discover it was just Dami and Talia playing swords and trash-talking each other
we need a Protestant reformation in the Batman fandom. Abolish the cult of the robins
(1/2)
(2/2)
I think I might be about to send a deranged email
Couldn't find an email address so it was instead a deranged form submission
HUGE NEWS
Something else I see people keep forgetting: between humans and Eridians, we are the astronauts. And we are good at it.
Eridians' perception of the world relies on something that is completely absent in space — sound. They haven't been looking at the stars their entire existence the way we have. Their concept of aliens might only be as old as their discovery of astrophage. They made a bad ship, because it was their first one ever! Rocky himself says they rushed it, and that multiple (vital) things broke. Their mission was just as much of a Hail Mary pass as ours was — they had no idea what they were doing, if they could even travel in space safely. And, as it turns out, they couldn't.
Humans are the ones who have been doing it over multiple lifetimes. Mary is state of the art. We've been space farers longer than most humans have been alive. We can actually see through space. We are more likely to survive exposure to the void. We can encase our lighter, more flexible, more mobile bodies in a material that lets us walk outside of our ship, and, to a degree, we can get our bearings out there in a way Eridians just can't.
Eridians are not looking at Mary and thinking she's a bad ship. They are not thinking humans have no idea what we're doing. They are looking at this species that can walk in the stars, have been perfecting machines to take us to them for decades, have been dreaming about them and mapping them and naming them for millennia, and used all of that to save them, and thinking, wow.
Activated them like sleeper agents
Bahahaaa cue alll the Gotham villains staging an intervention with Bruce about his relationship with The Bat™ like he’s acting like some rebellious teenager dating for the first time
Bruce, lashed to a chair: I'm so glad to see you all but can you, like, untie me and let me go? I'm meant to be having drinks with the girls and I have Pilates in the morning- Harley, sitting backwards in a chair in front of him: Brucie, baby, we have to talk about the Bat- Bruce, thinking that they worked it out: Oh? What about? Two Face: Bruce, doll, he's no good for you. Bruce: huh? Penguin: Bruce, my boy, listen. The Bat is not a good guy. Look at what he did to my guy Tony Goon Tony: *clutching a steak to his swollen eye* Bruce: I have no idea what you're all- The Riddler, resting a finger against Bruce's lips: Bruce you have to learn to love yourself. Bats is trash. Ivy: He's toxic. Bruce: I'm not dating Batman. We just- Rogues: Bruce, knowing its a futile attempt and being sorta touched they care so much: But I love him. The Joker, arriving, tossing his keys in the nearest bowl and pausing to study the scene before him: *points at Bruce* What the fuck is that?
do you think the dc universe has a news site like the onion that’s just like…
“meddling parents still alive, preventing bruce wayne from adopting yet anther orphan”
“new study shows that 87% of all americans class superman as american citizen despite being born on a different planet, but only 49% avoided eye contact when asked about why martian manhunter doesn’t count”
“area woman thanking her lucky stars that batman and superman fell out on the same day she was due to go to boss’ niece’s bat mitzvah”
“arkham guard astonished by trip to iron heights, only now learning what locks are for”
“area man pretty sure he should be making more than $60k a year if his boss has 10 billion dollars to waste on robotic exosuit”
“breaking news: lex luthor sues superman for loss of earnings, claims that continually losing fights to him is negatively affecting his work ethic”
“Hub City mayor declares state of unemergency after two hours without a violent crime”
“grown man who dresses in halloween costume every night thinks clown his biggest problem”
“disappointed child realizes Booster Gold at birthday party the real one, not just a guy in a costume”
“drunk Aquaman rampages through ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ ride”
“new Teen Titan not attached to any Justice League member wonders why they’ve been issued a uniform with a red shirt”
“Earth totally not a tax haven, say Green Lantern Corps as they assign eighth lantern to same planet”
“’no one knows how to stop him’ says armed police officer as non-powered clown-themed supervillain begins 82nd massacre this year”
Halfway through these I forgot that these were supposed to be Onion headlines and not actual headlines for the DC universe.
Heyyyy there Spooks sorry for ditching you out of nowhere last month and then going on a mission for 3 weeks without any sort of notice or way of contacting me to the point you got so anxious you sent Supes to verify I didn't die in the middle of space, just wanted to know if you were free next Saturday ? I tried to talk to your kid but you know how creepy he gets sometimes hahaha. Please call me back when you can ok ?
continuation to this post (cw for suggestive content)
Commission info.
Inspired by a post I saw
Dick: I hate how everyone thinks or just assumes that my favourite superhero is Superman. Like how did that even get out? Why is it like something everyone know about me? It isn't even true!
Tim: As a professional stalker, it's probably because Clark and Bruce think it's Superman.
Dick, serious: Trust me, Clark knows it isn't Superman.
Jason: Then why does he keep giving you his merch?
Dick: It's different, okay? He always gives me the first piece of his new merch. It was originally because I was possibly the only child he knew, but now, it's just our thing.
Tim and Jason: *raise an eyebrow*
Jason: But you know what that looks like to others, right? Superman giving you his merch?
Dick, opens mouth, closes it, opens it again: I never considered that. But still, you'd think people would ask, right? I mean, between the three of us, we have the same favourite.
Jason, immediately: My favourite is Wonder Women.
Tim, not having it: Your favourite member of the Justice League is Wonder Women, not your favourite superhero.
Jason: *huffs but doesn't disagree*
Dick: And you know what? Even when I was younger, Supes was never my favourite—
Bruce: *walks within hearing range but not visual range*
Dick cont.: I liked that he smiled and laughed, you know?
Jason and Tim, with their backs to Bruce: *look absolutely baffled*
Bruce: *freezes*
Dick cont.: Superman could just... save a kitten... or you know... stop a crash and then go fight Lex Luther and then crack a joke with a kid. He could do anything and that appealed to me. I liked that.
Bruce, heartbroken at the implication that Dick liked Superman more because Clark smiled and laughed whilst in costume while he was bound by the constraints of the persona he created for himself: *walks away, out of hearing range*
Dick: But really, my favourite superhero was never costumed. It was Bruce... Well, it is Bruce, not was.
Tim, grinning like a gremlin: Was huh?
Dick: NOPE! Not was, is and forever has been and will be. Just like Batman is my favourite costumed hero.
Jason: I still say Wonder Women is bet—
Dick and Tim: *give him the look*
Jason: Alright, fine. But Bruce is my dad, okay? I'm biased. Of course, he's my favourite. He saved me! If I wasn't biased, it would be...
Tim and Dick: *Stare harder*
Jason: ...still Batman. Damnit. Go away. Let me live in denial. *huffs petulantly*
"I'm not imagining it, am I?"
Diana rests a hand on Clark's shoulder, shaking her head. "I am sorry, friend." His shoulders sag, and Dick feels worry flutter in his stomach as he steps properly into the room.
"Supes? You alright?"
The blue fingers of his glove itch to reach out, but he needs a better read on the situation first.
"Bruce is avoiding me."
Okay.... "And you're not mad? Usually you two get into a second fight about it."
Diana nods. "Indeed. The issue is, Nightwing, they never had a first fight."
"Huh."
"Yeah."
"Which is why..."
"Yup."
"You're worried."
"You know it's bad when he gets like this." Clark rubs his face. "Have you guys noticed anything?"
Dick thinks back. "No, I was at the manor with Tim and Jason yesterday, but we didn't see Bruce."
A week later, Dick climbs through Clark's window, smiling apologetically when Lois startles. "Hey guys, sorry to bust in."
"'Marry a superhero,' they said," she mutters, giving him a kind smile as she takes her plate and moves from the dining table to the kitchen island.
Clark's gaze rakes over him, and Dick slips into Lois' vacated seat.
"Dick?"
"It's Bruce." Clark's fork freezes on the way to spearing a piece of pasta, and it's Superman whose eyes snap to his. "I've noticed something."
"Everything alright?" Lois calls when Clark sags in his seat, like he did last week on the Watchtower.
"'S not hero business, Lo, c'mon back."
The three of them catch up through dinner, after Dick is served up the serving Clark was going to have for lunch tomorrow. (Lois had offered hers, but the garbled noise of affront from her husband set the two of them into a fit of giggles as Clark made perfectly clear he was not going to let that happen.)
It's afterwards, as Dick curls up in their armchair and the couple settles into the accompanying couch, that they return to the broody elephant in the room.
"He won't look at me. Not when I'm looking back. But he's just been staring at me, all sad-like, whenever I'm not looking at him. And it's even worse on patrol! The first thing I noticed was he smiled at me, in the cowl, which wasn't that unusual, but there wasn't anything smile-y around. Then I was joking with Tim, and he laughed, which he never does in the field, you know what he's like."
"Mm," Clark hums.
"So, you know, I checked him for contamination, and that's when the staring started. He looked so down in the dumps during the checks, and it hasn't stopped since."
Clark nods, tracing the lines of Ma Kent's throw as he thinks. "He's like that with me, too. That's how Diana and I caught on, anyhow. Every smile, or time I was the one to guide a child away, he'd get all down until the mission distracted him again."
"But Bruce loves kids."
Lois takes a sip from her water, humming in the back of her throat. "And you know he's always gearing up that deadpan humour of his, to try and make the Superman crack a smile at the wrong moment."
"Ass," Clark mutters, without venom.
"So, it's both of us."
"What did you do?" Lois asks sternly.
"Nothing."
"Really?"
"Not a thing, babe."
"Really? Nothing at all in the last week? You didn't talk bad, you didn't do anything?"
"No!"
"No."
Lois taps her lip with her glass, watching them both with the scrutiny of years of honed skill at investigation. "Then what could it be?"
saw an edit of these two side by side and it changed my brain chemistry
important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are
reblog if you're also lame and weird.
I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either
Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines
I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”
every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid
#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)
Every person on earth needs to read this post. It will make people’s lives a lot better and lessen the crises everyone faces in day-to-day lives.
I reblog this every time I see it because I am not immune to the recency bias
"Bruce never reveals his secret identity to mind readers or the Lasso of Truth because he truly believes he's Batman and Bruce Wayne is just the mask-" WRONG. Bruce Wayne is so fucking good at lying, both at the mental and physical level, that he allows himself to truly believe whatever he's saying in that fraction of a moment and THAT'S why no one can ever force him to reveal his identity.
Bruce has been lying for SO long that he can drill down to the tiny ways his body needs to breathe, move, etc and the way his mind feels when it's telling the truth. And then he tells himself, just for a moment, that whatever he's lying about is the truth. That he doesn't just need to believe it, but that he does.
Of course when someone asks him, in that moment, who he is -- the answer is "I'm Batman." Because in that moment, that is the only answer. It's the truth.
IMO he’s not lying. He’s codeswitching.
Not one of us has only one identity or one style of communicating. Not one!!
I am lurkinglurkerwholurks. That is me. I have other names, other labels, other ties that shape me. I have a job with a title. I have contexts that shift how I communicate and present myself as do we all.
Bruce just took it to an extreme, as he does with everything else. To stay balanced, he has to maintain a consistent self of sense but consistent is not the same thing as flat or one-dimensional.
He is Bruce Wayne. He is Batman. He is Matches. And he is many other things as well. All of these are the truth. None are a lie.
imagine some drunk guy taking a smoke break outside a club giving Jason shit for his “low quality” bodymod and how scarification shouldn’t be done while you’re still growing and clearly his “J” was
and then Jason turns to him mid-cigarette, says “Thanks, got it done by someone I couldn’t say no to” and the guy gets excited thinking of all the world famous names and asks “by who?” with great reverence. and Jason looks at him like this:
and says “Joker”
