I Really Need to Update My Theme

Erin|she/her|asexual|heteroromantic Random ramblings and posts from a writer/gamer/reader/Whovian. Currently obsessed with Steven Universe and Miraculous Ladybug!

[himedere-senpaii]

I can’t stress to you how fucking important it is to tell your child you’re proud of them TO THEIR FACE. Don’t fucking wait until the moment they go into hysterics. Don’t wait until they tell you that they don’t think you’re proud of them. FUCKING TELL THEM EVERY DAY. Even if it’s something you don’t understand, and they’re BEAMING, you fucking tell that child you’re proud of them. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

[yliade-illustrations]

Oracle card game project about the Egyptian Gods & Godesses / Drawn by me on Adobe Ilustrator.

Part II

Bastet, Sekhmet, Nut, Osiris, Bennu, Anubis, Maat

All rights reserved. Please don’t use or edit my work in any way without my permission, thank you ♥

[onion-souls]

Under D&D rules, a dagger does 1d4 base damage. The average human has a Strength score of 10, adding no bonuses. Several of them, due to the military background of many, likely had strength or dexterity scores of 11-14. But only two or three, and quite a few would be frail with old age, sinking to 8-9 strength. All in all, we can only add a total of +1 damage per round from Brutus.

An estimate of sixty men were involved in Caesar’s actual murder. Not the wider conspiracy, but the stabbing.

Julius Caesar was a general, which is generally depicted as a 10th level fighter. Considering his above baseline constitution and dex, weakened by his probable history of malaria, epilepsy, and/or strokes (-1 dex modifier), and lack of armor at the time of the event, he would likely have something along the lines of AC 9 and 60 HP. The senators would likely hit him roughly 55% the time.

So the Roman senate had a damage-per-round of 66, more than enough to kill Caesar in one round even without factoring in surprise round advantage.

[pomrania]

This is still my favourite “Ides of March” post.

[kitty2i-blog]

[snakeybones]

Does it freak anyone else out that it looks like the mountain lion is trying to open the sliding glass door as if it knows how to?

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

“Where are the kids”

“They’re out back”

[princesstigerbelle]

OMG D:

[closed-third-eye]

“Shhh just look at the cats” Priorities lmao 

[flour-canon]

Free worldbuilding idea:

Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all.

“Are you fucking kidding me I worked in a reagrent shop for a few years I don’t trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes.”

“Yeah I was in the circle that made Alston’s Divine Circle of Teleportation. There’s some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It’s way safer.”

“I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? ‘Medium Conduit Ruinic Circles’? That’s just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don’t even interact with each other.”

“I’ve been looking at this scroll all morning and I’m 90% sure that the scribe didn’t even look at the standard for pyromancies.”

[digitaldiscipline]

“Help Desk, this is Gloriline, what did you fuck up this time?” *indistinct vocals* “Dave, I’ve seen the news, and, frankly, I can see the ash cloud from here. You paid for extended support, not enabling support.”

[void-writing]

“I can’t get this fucking spell to work, Jane, can you look it?”

*passes a scroll* *a few moments of silence*

“I think you missed a bookend rune right here-”

“GODS DAMN IT! IT’S ALWAYS SHIT LIKE THAT! THANK YOU!” *angrily scribbles on parchment*

(It takes five more aggravatingly tiny adjustments before the spell works)

[crazy-pages]

I don’t play wizards anymore because they’re too much like my day job.

[drackir]

Instead of a orb the wizard has a little statue of a duck he tells his spells to and then swears when he spots the obvious mistake.

[beachfox-deactivated20181218]

You beat me to it! I was going to add that the reason why wizards and witches always have familiars around is so they can Rubber Duck at them until they realize what the mistake with their spell is!

Outsiders get it wrong and figure the familiars are somehow teaching spells to their owners, but no. It’s just explaining to Firewing what you’re trying to do with this teleportation matrix until you realize that you’ve been using telepathy crystals to power it the whole time like a FUCKING IDIOT!

[bardicknowledgeblogger]

@dmplz

[partisan-by-default]

[adulthoodisokay]

“The Devil Went Down To Georgia” White Trash Washing Machine Cover

[americanninjax-deactivated20191]

That’s just. Amazing.

[mapelie]

AWESOMENESS

[fierceawakening]

this is awesome

[lizardtitties]

This is literally the futuristic version of washboard music. Is that not just fucking amazing? We had dudes playing washboards to accompany music since the early days of blues and zydeco and today we’re sitting here watching someone using a washing machine in the exact same way. Imagine being some old fella playing a washboard with thimbles in a little jug-and-tea-chest outfit back in the 20s, imagine if someone told you that in about 100 years time, some kid would be using a machine that will replace the washboard to serve the exact same purpose.

This shit is why I’m such a giant music nerd.

[scientia-rex]

washboard electronica

[cartiercocaine-blog]

wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?

[dont-touch-my-fandoms]

Elmo’s voice saying “I’ll fuck u up” is the best and worst thing ever

[blocboybucciarati]

YO I SWEAR THIS SHIT IS TOO FUNNY😭🤣

[allthingslinguistic]

The International Phonetic Alphabet consonants found in English, with keywords and relevant parts of the mouth highlighted and colour-coded. (Source.) 

[pervocracy]

Pronouncing each of these in sequence is a very strange and amusing physical sensation, and I highly recommend it.

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

a gentle reminder that you did well this year. you met new people, learned new things and felt new feelings. you did so many things that made you scared. you picked yourself up off the floor after feeling completely defeated or heartbroken. there were some really tough nights but you survived them all. you made people happy just by existing. you accepted many goodbyes but the serendipitous meetings made up for them. it was your own hard work that paid off but you always downplay it or compare yourself to others. that’s not fair on yourself. you’ve come so far from the first day of this year. you have more wisdom and strength now. yes, other people seem more “successful” but does that even matter? please don’t think so lowly of yourself to only think about your failures. 2018 was your year of growth. I hope you take a moment to be kind to yourself, and believe that 2019 will be even better.

[scienceshenanigans]

[immaplatypus]

“I’M ESPECIALLY GOOD AT PRECIPITATING”

[eggscelsior]

“MY WHAT AN EYE THAT GASTON”

[whitmerule]

when i was a breeze i blew four dozen trees every morning to strengthen my gales and now that i’m grown i just raze them with ease, so i’m seven times bigger than wales!

[soft-sunflower]

Just gonna leave this here… 

[mystical-flute]

@pennyanddime

[justlookatthosesausages]

this is a masterpiece omg

[weaponizedhorse]

The world is gonna end but we’ll be memeing to the last possible moment

[pianodogdodge]

[ceruleanrambles]

@thatdoodlebug

[yodepalma]

I love the entire internet today.

[mirrors-and-mirages]

I showed this to my parents and mum is questioning reality and dad pissed himself laughing

[spanishskulduggery]

Spanish conundrums: “Did they say oeste [west] or o este [or east]?”

[spanishskulduggery]

Este es este. Este es oeste. Es o este o oeste. Es o oeste o este. ¿Es este o este? ¿Es este o oeste? Puede que este esté en el este, puede que esté en el oeste. Puede que éste esté en el este, y ese esté en el oeste. Es o este o oeste, o oeste o este.

“This is east. This is west. It’s either east or west. It’s either west or east. Is it this one or this one? Is it east or west. This one might be in the east, it might be in the west. THIS one might be in the east, and that one might be in the west. It’s either east or west, or west or east.”

[hebic]

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

*language-sobbing*

[potamikou]

today brought to you by my procrastination

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

in case you haven’t heard it today, or don’t fully realise it yet: i promise you that most people in this world are kind, loving and understanding. the people around you want you to succeed, they do not want you to fail. your friends don’t hate you, they love you, and they want to see you grow and prosper. 

the world is not as bad as it seems. don’t forget that.

[jollyreginaldrancher]

Sounds fake but ok

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

good news: it’s not fake. everything i said is true. being dismissive towards good things is a damaging mindset to have. you’ll feel a lot better if you have some trust and if you’re willing to consider optimistic viewpoints.

[bluelikecloudss]

Is this what non depressed people feel like ? Damn. You’re so lucky

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

i’m extremely mentally ill and extremely depressed at that. deflecting good advice that encourages you to think positively about life by claiming that the person who said it is not depressed (when i very much am) is also a very damaging mindset to have.

[langsandlit]

OP is the opposite of the “Then Perish” meme. All of OP’s replies read as “Then Prosper”.

[turing-tested]

friendship between lgbt people is so confusing always bc it’s like am i love with you or is it that a lifetime of isolation has driven us to form deeper bonds than our cishet compatriots along with the knowledge that we’re more inclined to cast aside social ettiquite and emotional walls found in cishet friendships because we are so starved for closeness with people who understand and share our identities? wild

[tardigradetheking]

you know you can say how its hard to tell the difference between love and friendship with out calling heterosexuals emotionally closed off.

[turing-tested]

idk how to tell you this but they are

[lifepro-tips]

Use the phrase "My understanding was..." instead of "I assumed..."

If you use the phrase “I assumed…”, you’ll be viewed as having hastily jumped to a conclusion based on insufficient evidence.

If you use the phrase “My understanding was…”, people will merely think you misunderstood something, and will be far kinder to you (and in instances where what you misunderstood was something they said, they will often apologize, or fault themselves for not being more explicit).

This is especially useful in a professional/workplace environment. Telling your supervisor you “assumed” something typically results in a reprimand; saying “My understanding was…” will instead be attributed to a miscommunication, or a lack of clarity in their original instructions.

[curlsandstems]

I starting using this and it has avoided so many arguments 🙌🏾

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

When your character is a dumbass who makes terrible life choices but you’re Committed To That Roleplay